Friday, July 2, 2010

Friday Limerick

Your humble narrator is traveling this Friday morning, headed up to New Hampshire for the weekend, so won’t be able to update the Haiku Mainpage.

So instead, here’s a Friday Limerick:

Big Bob was a pro tattoo inker,

With ladies boobs he did love to quite tinker,

But Tammy thought twice,

Before taking Bob’s advice,

And extensively playing with his sphincter.

# posted by douchebag1
7:05 am July, 2 Wheezer said...

The choad in the back has made appearances more

As with then, he’s still an eyesore

But the switch to this site

Has left me not quite right

To find his appearances like I could before.

7:07 am July, 2 Wheezer said...

Boss, have a fun trip, and enjoy the scenery Are you heading to the Monadnock region, by chance? Or perhaps the White Mountains (not the ones with yellow mountain streams)?

7:08 am July, 2 Wheezer said...

…..scenery.* Are…..

.

.

.

Wouldn’t we all like to skip a period?

7:12 am July, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

At least one haiku must make it into the comments section to preserve the sanctity of Fridays:

.

Cro-Magnon Bag points

at hott next to him. Doesn’t

know hott’s not food source.

7:15 am July, 2 Wheezer said...

Bald Tito Ortiz

points out “Who I’m fuccen now!

Yeah, take THAT, Jenna!”

7:16 am July, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

A giggle of hotts he does see

With them he will never be

He points to the one

Who he thinks will be fun

But his crotch will only see her knee.

7:18 am July, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

What we do not see

Is the Invisible Man’s

huge cockk in his mouth.

7:20 am July, 2 Wheezer said...

I’m saddened to see

gaggle of brunette hotties

defiled by this grease.

7:21 am July, 2 Vin Douchal said...

In a crowded room his happy face

Disguises the human disgrace

Yes, this is a pen

Of wasted oxygen

Habib, drop a bomb on this place

7:22 am July, 2 Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser said...

No more Alaska:

“Hang out with Florida ‘bags,”

Says Sarah Palin.

7:22 am July, 2 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

There once was a ‘bag with shades by ‘Dior.

With leftmost hott, I’d like to roll on the floor.

Alas, she’s occupied.

With said ‘bag, who lied;

Claimed: “Just a rash”, really is herpes sore.

.

.

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

7:22 am July, 2 Wheezer said...

The Neanderthal

wanted “Aztec,” got ass tatt.

Serendipity?

7:24 am July, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Hope Bob suffers from constipation

From partaking in this abomination

And he pushes too hard

So his rectum gets scarred

Blasting vessels in utmost frustration

7:25 am July, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

With a patronizing pat on the head

The hott knows what’s under the bed.

Tito Ortiz did not see

The ice pick she grabbed with such glee

She stabbed him with until he was dead.

7:27 am July, 2 Vin Douchal said...

This scene’s combined I.Q.

Is easily under 102

Bob is keeping it real

And the Woo Girls all squeal

At his grotesque and misplaced tattoos

7:28 am July, 2 Vin Douchal said...

DJ Thumb Ring in back is effeminate

7:31 am July, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Try again:

.

DJ Thumb Ring in back is effeminate

And the “music” he plays is all wet

Dude, you’ve no talent

In a move most gallant

I’ll dole out a beating you’ll not forget

7:34 am July, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Coy smiles on hotts

Give answer to question. Balls

are size of rice grain.

7:38 am July, 2 tall guy said...

Totally effeminate, Vin, and thank you for drawing attention to this serious, though of late, overlooked breach of douchery. A thumb ring? A thumb ring! Coupled with those hideous white sunglasses, and offset by the “cans” necklace, that dude in back almost eclipses the entire monine$$ of the shot that is, of course, Big Bob (with the extremely gay sunglasses).

ps spikey, blond-tipped hair sucks dog’s balls too.

7:39 am July, 2 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Her diaphram sticks out as much as her tits

Is she anorexic and given to food fits?

Still, I’d hit it hard

Even in a front yard

Even if her makeup hid zits.

7:41 am July, 2 Wheezer said...

I pose this question for you

Does this look like Cheeto Man to you?

It’s clearly pre-spike

and the skin tone he likes

and ‘fore he went to the Closet of Poo.

7:43 am July, 2 creature said...

Big Bob is a Chocolate Gorrilla

his brain is mushy vanilla

he bounces at bars

& eats rusty cars

at night gives up ass & bites pilla

7:43 am July, 2 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Cro-Bagnon takes up much of the view

Making my first reaction to be one of spew

But there are some Hott smiles

that go on for miles

I’d hit each of them between sips of my Dew

7:44 am July, 2 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

There once was a gorilla with sunglasses.

He tried, but got none of these fine asses.

For the ladies knew,

He ate lice off his crew.

And occasionally lubed their chassis.

.

.

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

7:44 am July, 2 creature said...

sorry, all I got

7:44 am July, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Bob’s lack of IQ is no hinderance

for his lack of sexual experience

He points at the hott

who will certainly not

forgive him for his small protuberance.

7:50 am July, 2 creature said...

Upon his first trip to the city

Rollo correctly ID’ed pretty titty

he viewed in awe

& said with guffaw

“I squeeze it ’til it pops like a zitty”

7:50 am July, 2 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Cro-Bagnon has inked tribal tats

That cover his nethers and nads

And he’s juiced the ‘roids

So he can crush his Droids

To impress the Hotts, wherever he’s at.

7:51 am July, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The hotts they doth smile from fright

From watching DJ Douchebag and Bob go all night

There was never a break

did either one take

They’re all wishing that they’d lost their sight.

7:54 am July, 2 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Changing Gears:

.

That’s one beefy bag

Taking up one-third the pic

With tats that are sick.

8:00 am July, 2 Steamin said...

Holy crap, is that Sara Palin in the purple bikini? I didn’t recognize her at first w/o her glasses.

8:03 am July, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Having moved from Toronto

No longer a homo

I eat my curds and whey.

In Montreal will eat lots of smoked meat

And start uploding choads by photo.

8:04 am July, 2 mr.reeve said...

Sarah Palin purple bikini hot

Later she will be eating twat

DJ Dickhead rocks the mic

Big Bob loves DJs faux spike

When in Vegas, avoid hitting this spot

8:05 am July, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fuccking movers are retarded until you give them a pie and booze.

Just sayin’ eh.

8:06 am July, 2 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Cro-Bag points to her rack

As his first move to get her to the sack

But ‘roids shrank his Penis

So he’ll come off as a Venus

And need to go visit his quack.

8:12 am July, 2 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

‘Roids have him doubled with his hair falling out

With arms like trees, he stands very stout

But I follow his finger

And on her chest thrust I linger

This pic would be better without him, no doubt.

8:12 am July, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

DJ knows Bob’s smile

is due to his thumb ring. Spins

more shitty music.

8:18 am July, 2 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Its tough to change to

Haiku. Feel need to rhyme for you

But makes 8. Too Late.

8:24 am July, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Wrinkles on his skull

show proof that maggots move on

after host has died.

9:08 am July, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Sasquatch dipped in Nair

Lures the party to his lair

But the girls are safe

From this goon and his naif

He likes the scent of men’s underwear

10:00 am July, 2 Troy Tempest said...

His Dad

11:38 am July, 2 shit-stained underpants said...

Yo DB 1, I live in Portsmouth, NH. if you want to stop through on your way to Winnipesaukee to no doubt hunt the ever effluence riddled Northern Lake Bag, let me know! We have decent bag hunting in Portsmouth and i would gladly help you navigate the douche shallows of my lovely port town. nh463free@gmail.com

11:56 am July, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

Baldy Bob and his tatted posterior

Make the other douchebags seem inferior.

But look in the back,

And you’ll see Blacky-Jack

Whose sum total package’ is superior..

12:08 pm July, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

Bumper-tatt Bob and his Tammy

Are all smiles as he fingers her mammy,

While she rubs his pate-genie

Aladdin’s lamp weenie

Might show up and give her a rammy.

12:14 pm July, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

New England Yankees love hockey,

And fun on Lake Winnipesaukee,

But douche and its daughters,

Have sullied the waters,

They’re the zebra shell mussels of cocky.

12:28 pm July, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

Big Bob and Tammy love sun,

While their buddies like shade for their fun.

All smile, we can see,

In their shared repartee,

Nothing hides douchebags flashin’ their gun!

12:41 pm July, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

Miss Tammy has housekeeping taste,

Mr Clean makes her suck in her waist.

While he flashes his muscles

She postures and bustles

Her purple-fringed bra in post-haste.

12:42 pm July, 2 Baron Von Goolo said...

With an eskimo tatt on his back,

Zack got jacked from his chemical stack.

The hotts love his pumping

But the chump isn’t humping

Cuz the roids sucked the juice from his sack.

7:44 pm July, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

Two douche and a posse of women,

Show their stuff which includes all the trimmin’.

One’s a choad, one’s a wank,

One’s a chub, one’s a lank,

And the gals may be in for a rimmin’.

7:56 pm July, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

Douchebaggery’s trick is inflating,

All the signs and the symbols of mating.

When Hotts make their passes

On douches with glasses,

Gay rimbags are quickly deflating.

10:01 am July, 3 Steve L. said...

i can’t tell the steroid from the silicone.

but the hotts still give me a raging bone.

that’s saying a lot

when you look at the rot

infesting this pic with fake testosterone.

6:30 am July, 5 Tony Ventresca said...

Vin Diesel crossed with Pumpy? (with apologies to the memory of Pumpy, godspeed)

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