Sunday, July 11, 2010

How to Fake Your Six Pack Abs

Some douchebags discover their talents through sheer instinct.

Others take lessons from annoyingly voiced pixie Asian chicks.

# posted by douchebag1
10:10 am July, 11 boone doggle said...

i just faked a boner

10:25 am July, 11 Jaques Doucheteau said...

I don’t get self-conscious and worry what people will think of me when I go out with friends to the beach/lake/pool. I would worry about what people think of me if they were to catch me standing naked in front of the computer applying makeup to my stomach.

10:26 am July, 11 Jaques Doucheteau said...

Those were some terrible fake abs on her. I wonder what else she fails at faking?

10:38 am July, 11 Dicy said...

^^^

ooh ooh lemme guess, orgasms?!

10:45 am July, 11 360 said...

11:08 am July, 11 Ariscrotle said...

How to trick people into thinking you’re good looking…

11:21 am July, 11 Crucial Head said...

I just realized that DB1 mentioned an HC1 being on board in the Friday Thoughts post. Congrats boss! That’s fantastic. Is she a real, live female? With naughty parts and everything?? I often wonder what that must be like. The living part, I mean. I’ve met plenty of females who… how shall we say… uh, nevermind.

.

Of course, if HC1 is a small farm animal or blow up doll, I won’t judge you for that either. They can be wonderful companions – though the animals need a shit load of food to keep happy. And the dolls tend to lose pressure after a few sessions of moderate to heavy petting, so I’d recommend a compressor on a stand-by generator in case you ever lose power.

.

Food for thought, amigo.

.

Anyway, back to the vuvuzelas.

11:45 am July, 11 Mr. White said...

This just makes me sad. And angry. And a little hungry.

.

Ladies, you know who will care if you have a six pack or not? Douchebags. Mostly closeted douchebags. Is that really your targeted audience?

.

Well, I suppose if you care enough to paint fake abs on yourself, then maybe the answer to the previous question is “yes.”

2:37 pm July, 11 Crucial Head said...

¡España!

3:12 pm July, 11 Steve L. said...

i thought it only takes 3 minutes to fake 6 pack abs, and not 5:31?

… sorry.

3:14 pm July, 11 DarkSock said...

Yeah yeah yeah rub it all in….real slow-like…yeah….rub-a-dub in a big flubbery circle…bark like a dog you little lotion monkey…..oooooo yeah……HURK!

.

clean up on aisle pants…

3:15 pm July, 11 Josh said...

Yeah, this movie was made as a joke, more to screw with the people who would try something like this than actually show how to do it.

If you didn’t realise that this was a joke, you may need to take a step back from the brink and chill!

3:18 pm July, 11 Josh said...

Well don’t i seem like a total tool. I guess that’s what i get for commenting and not watching the video! I thought you were referring to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijgfBwq_vkM, and not this video (that I’ve never actually seen).

Foot in mouth here i come!

3:35 pm July, 11 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

@Dicy,

Orgasms, hair colour, resumes, their GED… You name it!

4:49 pm July, 11 creature said...

do Asian men do that to their cockk?

4:51 pm July, 11 creature said...

I keep a midget hand in pocket to handle my unit when I pee in public places

if you don’t want to be shy around your crush, blow a few truckers on the way to the beach, its cheaper and they may even pay you, if you do a good job.

seriously, i don’t want to go as a society, where this is heading, guys looking for girls with tarted up abs.

and the chicks complaining the new hussy in town wears to much rouge around her liver, and who is she fooling.

5:30 pm July, 11 Douche Of Earl said...

Life on earth can’t end soon enough

5:30 pm July, 11 Crucial Head said...

@Euripidouche,

.

Say what you will about this video, but I for one, am using this make-up idea to hide my distended liver from the public when I hit Santa Monica next weekend.

5:41 pm July, 11 doucheywallnuts said...

If this video was about how to bronze a flabby belly it would rate a 10!

6:13 pm July, 11 Dicy said...

@Josh

I love Natalie form Community Channel! Thats how I found this vid in the first place because she was making fun of it. Thank god for hot chicks that dont fall for this crap!

6:30 pm July, 11 5TOOLDOUCHE said...

Serious twinkie vibe.

7:37 pm July, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

I was kinda thinking the same thing. I’m at work with the sound off and I’m wondering why, at 1:00, I’m still looking at her face and she’s still yapping. And then after skipping through the exhausting application of makeup, I decided it would be a lot easier to say no to that second helping of pancakes. My next thought was, “Oh, that would all come off in the water.” Ah, wait, they stand in ankle-deep raw sewage and converse while drinking pink foofy things. They don’t actually swim, or even get wet, for that matter. Fuccen retards. Come onnnn, Soylent Green….

8:28 pm July, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

I see a hotchick faking her abs.

Where is the douchebag not faking his choadery?

Please, DB1,keep us true to the mock-mission, or is this a weekend pass?

8:29 pm July, 11 Jaques Doucheteau said...

@ Medusa, I think you just found a chink in her armor. Hey-o!

9:02 pm July, 11 Stephanie said...

oh,guys you wouldn’t believe the amount of faking that goes on,women also wear make-up on their faces too.

But you put up with anything anyways. As long as she talks with a cutie pie voice.

This really isn’t worth wasting my time on,seriously isn’t there any orange tanning tips on you tube for guys? That would be easier to mock!

9:07 pm July, 11 Stephanie said...

Here you go-Men with Fake Tans from you tube

9:31 pm July, 11 Jaques Doucheteau said...

Women wear makeup on the feces? Go figure.

9:31 pm July, 11 Jaques Doucheteau said...

the=their

11:56 pm July, 11 Baleen said...

Alright SLAPWHOARS,

I’m off to Port Aransas Texas for some vaca. (Padre Island aside, it’s the best we can get for a beach here in Texas). I can’t promise anything but I’ll do my darndest to gather photographic document of the local fat redneck bags and their jacked up families. I’ll vote in absentia for Froggy in the weekly. He’s like Bucky (hat tilt) only with Bulimia. Mocck on.

4:48 am July, 12 Euripidouche said...

i say wear that distended liver with pride!

tell folks you are planning on having pate at your funeral some day, and you don’t care if its gauche, or even offensive. when you meet your maker, leave your mark, and when people are munching on hors d’oerves and saying things like “well, he was an aquired taste” those in the know will say, “you have no idea how right you are”

4:49 am July, 12 Euripidouche said...

oops.

5:12 am July, 12 MsMon said...

For a six pack: Just stop drinking beer & do a work out! People will try anything just to not have to get off their lazy arse & actually sweat. This is just ridiculous.

7:40 am July, 12 Mr. White said...

I use make up to give me a 6 pack, but that’s only because I normally have 7 1/2 abs. It was a freak accident with a thresher when I was a child.

3:26 pm July, 12 DarkSock said...

I have seven second abs.

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Looks like an oompa loompa took a shit on your stomach, harden up and go to the gym and stop being lazy.

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