Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Miami Bleach

I believe it was Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Nature and Chest Shave, who first wrote the apocryphal line:

“Miami would be a great place if it wasn’t for all them freakin’ scrotestains hittin’ on the quality ass pear.”

Emerson was a visionary.

# posted by douchebag1
3:23 pm July, 20 Justin said...

Sea hags for everyone!

3:24 pm July, 20 douche bagel said...

i think something about gary tells me he’s got ryan’s DNA all up in his wig

3:26 pm July, 20 Justin said...

I think it was Henry David Thoreau who said:

.

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives. Also, do not forget to shave chest hair and wear enormous glasses.

3:27 pm July, 20 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Choadballs washed up on the beach. Quick, call the EPA!

3:39 pm July, 20 Eliza Douchecoo said...

that guys arm is bigger than his skanks’ waist…or is it waste?

3:41 pm July, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Aw shit. Looks like I lost Beaker to the dark side. I guess I mistook “Meep meep meep meep meep meep” for “Project Edible Paper Clips is coming along smoothly” instead of “Fucck this, I’m gonna score some skank pussy with the roids and hair gell I just got.” Anybody want to be my new lab assistant? Medusa? Dicy?

3:44 pm July, 20 paul said...

snatch

3:44 pm July, 20 Test said...

snatch

3:45 pm July, 20 RoninJin said...

WTF, are they cloning Paris Hilton done there?

3:57 pm July, 20 End the Haberdouchery said...

MMM, steroids.

4:06 pm July, 20 Vin Douchal said...

I can’t tell where the skank ends and the STDs start. Only a proctologist could love this photo.

4:11 pm July, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

More like Revere or Jones Beach? Roid-bags, Bleeth & Cougar hag in the background, = Toxic eye burning, stomach churning projectile diarrhea.

4:20 pm July, 20 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

“3” millimeters is all I have left of my penis.

4:21 pm July, 20 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

“3” times I have changed my depends, due to my roid-baked leaky colon.

4:22 pm July, 20 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

“3” times my buddy had to jizz in my hair to get it to stand up this straight.

4:24 pm July, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It was Publius Vergiulius Maro circa 27 BCE who stated in his great Classical prose ‘Douche’ the immortal phrase, “Miami Blech, pass the Pepto.”

4:27 pm July, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And I just shat myself after JCVD triads in douche major. Jizz in my hair. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

4:29 pm July, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“Roid baked leaky colon.” I have to shite myself again.

4:29 pm July, 20 Douchble Helix said...

Emerson? Did someone say Emerson?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Emerson.

Emerson who?

Emerson fine bitches y’all got there.

4:47 pm July, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ DBHD 3:41

I’m on it. Project Nut Crusher is slated to begin at 8 am sharp. I’ll be there with clipboard in tow.

.

Am I high, or is that Fish Slap on the right? Maybe he’s just dividing like protozoas or something.

4:47 pm July, 20 Whoop-di-douche said...

Emerson also said, “The eye is the first circle.”

Jerks.

I’m rinsing mine eyes with saline. Some site photos get to be just too much muscle, too much skank, too much shave, too much skin, too much reveal, too much sunglasses, too much hair spike, too much tatt, too much hotchicks posing with douchebags.

Wait. That’s a reason to complain, not a complaint.

4:58 pm July, 20 Turdacious said...

Jul 20 2010 4:21 PM EDT 1,197

Enrique Iglesias Wrote Jersey Shore Soundtrack Song ‘In Five Minutes’

how come this does not surprise me

5:11 pm July, 20 Mr. White said...

We’ve seen Sneery Golf Hat Wearing Skank before, too. One of the historians can confirm.

5:15 pm July, 20 Mr. White said...

@Doc

I got back to you re: PA in the gay steel mill worker thread. Fuccen work is fuccen’ with me today.

5:19 pm July, 20 Wheezer said...

No fuccen justice in the world…..

5:29 pm July, 20 Mr. Biggs said...

I’m giving up caffeine. Please kill me.

5:56 pm July, 20 mr.reeve said...

Yeah and with King Jamesbag moving down to Miami it just got worse.

This picture has 0 real people in it. Fuck all of them. Especially the fake blondes…….right in the stinky meat @ss….

6:12 pm July, 20 doucheywallnuts said...

I must say that if you are going to use anabolic agents, peroxide and other hair coloring, hair gel, docuhebag and bleeth accessories, this foursome has shown the way in which it should be done. Well done!

6:17 pm July, 20 Douchble Helix said...

Looks like Popeye Doyle just over Bluto’s left shoulder.

7:30 pm July, 20 Steve L. said...

natural and highly fondle-able boobs are, like, so fucking wrong in this pic. i’d rather see big ugly implants instead.

8:12 pm July, 20 Stephanie said...

A pigeon hit the guy’s hair on the left or is that a cum stain?

Their whole life depends upon how they look,doesn’t it?

8:14 pm July, 20 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

Pinktop is flirting with me. Yeah, me. And why would anyone bother getting a tattoo of a third degree burn?

8:49 pm July, 20 Troy Tempest said...

So, I guess if you’re a European American Female and you live in Miami, it’s illegal to be a brunette, or something? Fuck – we’re looking at one giant herpes sore.

9:48 pm July, 20 Sir David Douchenborough said...

That man’s shoulder is bigger than his chest. Three cheers for asymmetric douchey weight training, but it appears that all that bleach and appletinis have dulled the sense of those two women in the middle to notice that they are with a badly designed action figure from the nineties, most likely from the TNMT line.

And that scrote on the right I suppose was going for the Grieco Gere look? Now we have the unnecessary example of what would happen if Pretty Woman was remade in the image of these choads and bleeths.

9:49 pm July, 20 Sir David Douchenborough said...

* scrote on their right…

12:05 am July, 21 Mahatma Gandouche said...

Nice McBain Goggles on pinky.

1:37 am July, 21 tall guy said...

Sea cow…”Moooooooooooooooo”

6:42 am July, 21 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Isn’t that Tom Petty on the far left? I didn’t know he had a sex change.

6:44 am July, 21 Mr. White said...

@amerigo

He is an American Girl.

6:44 am July, 21 Mr. White said...

The Waiting (for the Surgery Is the Hardest Part)

6:44 am July, 21 Mr. White said...

You Got Lucky (with a Transsexual)

6:51 am July, 21 Justin said...

Last Dance With Mary Jane (because next week she’ll be Mark)

6:55 am July, 21 ehcuodouche said...

We got an alien in the last post and a…what…is…that…thing…?

6:55 am July, 21 Mr. White said...

Even the Losers (Get Their Genitalia Removed Sometimes)

6:56 am July, 21 ehcuodouche said...

Josephina Canseco?

7:04 am July, 21 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

You don’t have to live like a refugay.

.

Stop draggin’ my herp around.

10:10 am July, 21 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ BWAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

.

I Won’t Back Down (from a stiff cock)

11:41 am July, 21 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Don’t Do Me Like That (wait, go ahead and do me like that)

11:42 am July, 21 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Jammin’ Me (with a stiff cock)

12:21 pm July, 21 Deltus said...

Douche has absolutely ruined his arms. Moron.

1:01 pm July, 21 STEVE said...


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6:27 am July, 22 Sack O Douche said...

^Fuck you Steve. My dick works fine!

This picture is all grease and choad. The fake hots are being over powered by the two Miami beachbags.

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