Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Mr. Assplosionhead

Ok, I finally get why we can’t bring hair gel on airplanes.

# posted by douchebag1
11:21 am July, 13 Jaques Doucheteau said...

Nice chin strap and lip fung combination there, you fucking dick.

11:23 am July, 13 Fatness said...

There

is

no

god.

11:24 am July, 13 Vin Douchal said...

He looks like Nick Swisher fucked NIk Richie while wearing a static electricity charged corduroy cockk ring.

11:24 am July, 13 Crucial Head said...

Jimmy Fail-On.

11:25 am July, 13 Jaques Doucheteau said...

He’s also got Scott Ian eyebrows. Except that this dick didn’t help to pioneer the death metal genre in the early eighties. The only thing he’s responsible for is three speeding tickets, multiple puddles of vomit, and one dead fetus.

11:32 am July, 13 massengill said...

I think, here, we have a case of her being the bigger douche.

11:38 am July, 13 Metal nazi said...

@jacques

Anthrax can be classified as speed or thrash metal, but not death metal. Scott Ian would kick your ass for that.

.

Twatwaffle.

11:39 am July, 13 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So where’s the hott chick? All I see is Ray Liotta in drag and one of Keith Richrads’ bastard spawn that was nearly a successful abortion.

11:41 am July, 13 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

For those who don’t know Keith Richards is related to Keith Richrads through his cousin’s uncle’s brother’s newphew’s sister’s dog masturbater. You should SEE that family tree!

11:52 am July, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

Hott Chick? I don’t think so. DoucheBag?? YES!!!

11:54 am July, 13 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

This broad looks a bit beefy to be classified as a HC, but he his full-on douche.

12:02 pm July, 13 Bagnonymous said...

eyebrows > chinstrap –> fail.

12:03 pm July, 13 Bagnonymous said...

She might be a man, but she’s one dashingly pretty dude.

12:09 pm July, 13 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I she blew me, I’d look like that.

And by “blow me”, I mean blow in my ear.

12:13 pm July, 13 jonezy said...

Actually, Assploisionhead here is a ventriloquist act where “Kimmie” lures in other Hotts by being the slightly fat friend that all girls love to have.

12:17 pm July, 13 Anthony LaBaglia said...

It’s fucking Bill The Cat and I’ve been trying to put a funny fucking picture of him on here for a fucking hour. I’m an idiot.

12:18 pm July, 13 Anthony LaBaglia said...

And yeah, Dude, that “chick” is scary. Pass.

12:22 pm July, 13 Whoop-di-douche said...

Oh, c’m on, she’s not nearly as scary as he is, although she might be half his age.

Now THAT’s scary.

12:23 pm July, 13 DarkSock said...

“Every one says I’m awfully pneumatic,” said Lenina reflectively, patting her own legs.

12:24 pm July, 13 DarkSock said...

There’s bed head, and there’s cat litter head.

12:24 pm July, 13 DarkSock said...

There’s bed head, and there’s running garbage disposal stuffed with used diaper head.

12:25 pm July, 13 DarkSock said...

There’s bed head, and there’s ruptured goiter pustule head.

12:47 pm July, 13 Douche Springsteen said...

I haven’t seen bugged out eyes and clenched jaws like that since I the toilet stalls at Studio 54.

12:53 pm July, 13 UFO Destroyers said...

Didn’t she appear in CHiPs episode 14 season 2 as one of the hotties in the car Ponch pulled over for speeding?

.

She wasn’t that hot then either.

1:33 pm July, 13 Mr. White said...

I didn’t realize that Real Doll made a low-end version meant to look like a young Sharon Stone.

1:40 pm July, 13 Anthony LaBaglia said...

That bitch looks like she ATE Sharon Stone.

1:42 pm July, 13 Anthony LaBaglia said...

And I don’t mean Drinking From the Furry Cup kind of eating.

2:12 pm July, 13 Love Fat and Ugly said...

Fat ugly chicks with douche bags, probably couldnt even get her heels through those hoops.

2:28 pm July, 13 Deltus said...

If she offered to blow me, I’d look the other way and let her. But, yeah, hott? Not quite.

5:08 pm July, 13 Dex said...

I can’t decide which is worse. Her boobs or his eyebrows.

5:36 pm July, 13 Steve L. said...

the Spiker called. he wants us to know that HE is the sole reason why hair gel is illegal on flights.

better watch your, er, hair there, Mr. Assplosionhead.

6:36 pm July, 13 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@ metal nazi

Anthrax has always been concidered one of the big four of the genre, alongside Metallica, Megadeth, and Slayer. You calling Slayer thrash metal?

7:58 pm July, 13 The God Of All Metal said...

@Jacques,

Love your comments here, but you are embarrassing yourself. The ‘Big Four’ are all thrash metal (back when Metallica didn’t fuck other men in the ass). Slayer rules my music world, but they were merely inspiration for Death Metal.

Trust me, no death metal band is being played in major rotation on any radio station I know.

Death metal = Cannibal Corpse, Deicide, Morbid Angel, Dying Fetus, Goatwhore… you get the picture.

Music that 99% of humans cannot stand, but some sweet ass band names, eh?

8:29 pm July, 13 DarkSock said...

@ The God O.A.M.

.

First, my big 4 would include the mighty Exodus, Testament, early Forbidden, Slayer, and Rectal Belch. OK, the last one’s my band.

.

Goatwhore are local boys from NOLA; nice guys.

.

But Death Metal: I must recommend Gorguts – The Erosion Of Sanity,

.

Disincarnate – Dreams of the Carrion Kind (closet James Murphy fan)

.

Nile – OK, Egyptian metal but still it’s all about celebrating evisceration Cookie Monster style….right? New release redeems the dynamics-free onslaught of their over-aggressive previous slab

.

Inverted Rectus Stump Sump – BLowScabS of the Rectal Reich….OK, made that one up but as soon as I quit booze I’ll use the shakes to speed-pick my place into infamy.

8:29 pm July, 13 DarkSock said...

And Tracy Chapman, during her period.

8:30 pm July, 13 DarkSock said...

There’s bed head, and there’s Scalp Fart

8:41 pm July, 13 DarkSock said...

Stephen Hawking predicted this exact event, when Sharon Stone turned into a Sofa. Then he shat a soft tan turd, and greedled a sonnet to the stars as he whiffed his sniffy jiff….lawdy I’m whackt…

.

No, they’ve not outlawed Spice on the coast

.

Yet.

9:41 pm July, 13 Whoop-di-douche said...

Dark Sock is ever so correct, and then some.

If Sharon Stone was a blow-up doll, this is what she’d look like.

11:04 pm July, 13 creature said...

she’s a pig

11:05 pm July, 13 creature said...

but I’d fuck both of them… heh heh

11:14 pm July, 13 Lord McBaggin said...

This is what happens when you plug your electric vibrating butt plug into the 220v welding outlet.

12:01 am July, 14 The God Of All Metal said...

Choice cuts DarkSock. I am a fan of Amon Amarth, although ‘Viking Metal’ deserves its own category in Hell for its illustrious history:

10:20 am July, 14 Jaques Doucheteau said...

What one music genre label is now is not what it started out as. This is true across the board, so you guys are arguing pointless semantics. What was originally referred to as heavy metal in the early ’70s, is no longer referred to as metal, and wouldn’t be labeled as such by any stretch of the imagination.

.

In fact, the whole “the best metal band is _____” conversation is something one one hear a bunch of fat kids with black trench coats having over a heated MTG game. In other words. GET A LIFE!!! That’s why The God Of All Metal is some reg to embarrassed to reveal their true identity, cowering behind an infantile and self righteous title as some authority of “metal”. Pretty fucking gay, really.

.

Besides, Cryptopsy when they still had Lord Worm as the vocalist was the best death metal band ever. Grow a pair and get over yourself TGoAM.

2:34 pm July, 14 creature said...

it’s no stretch to guess who ‘God of All Metal’ is Jaques… but lighten the fuck up will ya baghunter

12:46 am July, 15 Jaques Doucheteau said...

Hence, the sarcasm ala Cryptopsy. Just making a point.

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