Thursday, July 15, 2010

Reader Mail: Ed Cardy

——

dear DB1,

yesterday whilst driving down la brea, i spotted this abomination.

i really wanted to pull along side of them and say ” don’t mind me i just want to snap a pic of the sweet wrap on your ride” but this was the best i could bag.

the whole car was adorned with the wrap of poo. i had to stare at this ride for quite some time and was forced to ponder what went through the drivers mind when getting said ride wrapped in poo. the inhabitants were as douchey as expected but still left me wondering… were they just ad bags? poser bags? gay bags?

all possibilities combined together made sense but neither could stand on a leg alone. interesting…

-douche bagel

—-

Good catch, Mr. Bagel, and yes, the spread of the Hardy Virus must be monitored at all times. And by monitored, I mean mocked from a safe distance while wearing your seatbelt and listening to The Dead Milkmen on Sirius.

# posted by douchebag1
9:32 am July, 15 mr.reeve said...

This is all too common amongst the bags. Bad stickers or designs on their Civics, PT Cruisers or Scions. I want to run these a-holes off the road when I see them. F all of you poo riders!!!!!

9:48 am July, 15 Wheezer said...

Like douchebaggery itself, this kind of thing isn’t new. It used to be common for 1990’s ‘bags to adorn their cars with the “No Fear” windshield visors or stick the “Bad Boy Club” decals on their rear windows.

.

What eyesores.

9:57 am July, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Reminds me of when my office was next to a continuation high school. They had a hot blond milf always dressed to the nines working there that had a nice Acura with a design that spread across the bottom of the rear window.

I stated to one of my buds, “I bet she has the same thing tattooed as a tramp stamp”.

.

As luck would have it, I saw her in a supermarket in a small t-shirt and shorts and sure as shit, there it was. Unfortunately , her douchbag husband was with her. He had all the trappings: tribal band arm tatt , headband, etc. but I didn’t give a shit if he caught me staring at her ass. It would have been worth the altercation had it happened.

9:57 am July, 15 Crucial Head said...

Well, I think we can all agree that VW’s are the douchiest cars out there… ain’t that right Pfah and Mr. White?

.

Heh heh.

.

Pfah?

9:58 am July, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Stackhouse Twitter brilliance. This guy is a genius. I’m a fan:

“So I’m up in da club, chillen at my boys bar. & some little pip squeek cock holster comes up 2 the bar with his whiskey cokes, & persists on getting new drinks cause his coke was flat. 1st off child cock, step it the fuck up & drop the soda pop. 2nd who cares if ur sodas flat, go focus on getting some pussy, u can bottle sodas in ATL some other time sweet cheeks. Get Some. “

10:11 am July, 15 massengill said...

I know who’s getting a car bomb for Christmas!

10:20 am July, 15 Wheezer said...

BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

=========================

Jason Stackhouse

On Wednesday 7th July 2010, @JayStackhouse said:

(In reply to anyone)

reply

@MrBroski no shit, fucking laundo mats in the dirty jerz of all places lol, I got asians pressing my shit on the reg, not only that, but what nice clothes can u actually throw in a primitive ass machine that spins in circles? Shits weak, I gotta pay extra just to keep my rhine stones in tact on my scummer V-necks. And fuck the G before the T, a real man knows u tan before the gym, u gotta hit the gym with a fresh bronze. Come on, like their aint skanks at the gym lol, I get half my pussy in the swellery. Fucking amature hour

10:21 am July, 15 Wheezer said...

^^That’s from here…..

10:24 am July, 15 Wheezer said...

I’m trying to decide if I should “follow” this assclown. My Twitter page is just this side of inactive, so I don’t know what good it would do me.

10:26 am July, 15 massengill said...

Some more Twitter Stack for you: “Sat is more my fuck the man,enjoy my self with no interruptions, not have anyone up my ass, night.”

10:30 am July, 15 Vin Douchal said...

I’m telling you, this guy is the Jim Morrison of the Douche Generation. We can only hope he sees a dead indian at the side of a road

10:40 am July, 15 Mr. White said...

@crucial

No way, bro. My Jetta, Swole Edition, pulls more pussy than you can dream of, son. (Sadly, the car doesn’t share any of that pussy with me.)

.

Get some!

10:44 am July, 15 Mr. White said...

I would enjoy seeing the douchemobile get plowed by some evil-looking Mad Max vehicle.*

.

*Please note that the V8 Interceptor model (not shown) is the only one that comes equipped with a bullhorn, which is suitable for screaming racial slurs at passersby.

11:56 am July, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Stackhouse can not be real. He would be deaded by now.

12:16 pm July, 15 Deltus said...

I wonder if hotts can get infected by contact with a car like that?

12:43 pm July, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

I too took a peek at Stack’s page and read some of his poooetry this one killed me. He still can’t spell and he might be gay.

Its packed like a fagit in this bitch, and that’s no exaderation or hate, its just the facts. I could sub fagit for belladonna’s asshole on a stellar porn set, but I’m just keeping it real primitive,in a world full of distracted, slow, half paced wanna bees. I just pounded down a bottle of moet against Ernie Sims, and had, Craphonso Thorpe slap the bottle out my gun ship half way through. Lol, its good to ball in a club on this level, all while getting paid, laid, and drunk on the reg. Get Some

12:49 pm July, 15 DarkSock said...

How can I arrange for Asians to be pressing my shit on the reg? And by ‘shit” I mean “swellery”, pertaining to the dynamic region in my pants prone to periodic inappropriate engorgement, usually while giving presentations or at funerals.

12:53 pm July, 15 DarkSock said...

StackHouse is the new Stupid.

. .

The Sultan of Swellery;

Fingers of self-smellery.

The Zeitgeist of self hype

The One that Don’t Wipe.

Mr. Bad To The Bone

Mr. Dies All Alone.

12:58 pm July, 15 douche bagel said...

bwahaha your crackin me up darksock!

12:59 pm July, 15 douche bagel said...

and by your i mean U R. stackhouse style. get some

4:45 pm July, 15 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Do any of the dbags realize what doing that to their rides does to the resale value?

8:04 pm July, 15 Steve L. said...

so i heard Stackhouse lost his expensive car that he bought with his parents’ money to an accident and is now relegated to driving an Ed Cardy.

8:53 pm July, 15 Whoop-di-douche said...

I dunno, those dragons on the rump of that car must be Chinese restuarant logos. Look for an ad on the side doors, or run it down for some fast carryout.

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