Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Reader Mail: From Russia With Chin Pube
Reader Tatiana writes in from Russia:
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Hiya,
Here are a couple of pictures of my friend Kristina who lives in Siberia, Russia, and keeps hanging out with these douchebags. She is a smart girl, just finished Law School, but her taste in men is horrendous.
– Tatiana
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In Russia, Douche bags you!
I’d like to nuzzle Kristina’s furry Kremlin.
Kristina is lovely.
Her choice in men is pathetic.
Her options in life are few – live in one dying empire or emigrate to another dying empire. I bet when she queefs in the tub, it smells like lavender.
Hmmm, the very leggy Kristina is tasty.
I may have to order her as my bride. I will teach her to mock the douche and then she will divorce me and take all I have, leaving me a broken man who does nothing all day but sit in the park feeding the pigeons.
Law school. Mmm hmm. Yeah. By “law school” you mean callous murderous undercover spy for the KGB.
.
These two fellers never showed up after these photos were snapped but two unindentifiable human skeletal remains were found in a lye tank in Kristina’s neighborhood. There is no word for “coincidence” in Russian
Holy hyenas, is she howling HOTT.
Her men are NOTT.
A cute Russian hott named Kristina
Went out with a douchie hyena
But his low cut shirt
Stopped any more flirt
So she used her heels to crush his weena.
Isn’t Siberia where they banish the baddies? No wonder she has questionable taste if all she sees are the banished.
She needs to be carefully taught “certain fine distinctions” AKA “points of law.” I suggest finishing school in Amerika!”
By the balls of Lämp!
.
What did you eat for breakfast Whoop-Di-Douche? Verily, the hyena theme hath been laid down.
If you wake up the next morning after spending the night with a beautiful russian woman in St. Petersburg and you still have your watch and both kidneys…you made out great!
Inflammable means flammable?
.
.
What a Country!?!?
Nice gams. What’s the sister whining about?
I’m surprised there is yet a reference to Tony Montana….
I’d like to launch my intercontinental ballistic missle into Kristina’s trench.
HMMMM!!!! Kristina
Tatiana there’s no need to fret.
There’s still hope for your hot friend yet.
Just remind the young lady,
Of what we said in the eighties,
To the douche, “Just say niet!”
Watch out for her “Red Square”…
This is why men don’t take female lawyers seriously.
ok, niehte rof these guys look like douchebags, they just aren’t particularly handsome.
The first guy doesn’t seem all that douchey, but he is the oldest looking 24 year old I’ve ever seen.
.
Tatiana, send me one of those mail order forms and I’ll rescue Katrina.
I’d ring out her ballelika
kritina’s a tasty little blini
who I long to see in bikini
with great zeal
i’d make her squeal
as I impale her on swollen weenie
Kristina appears to be doing a bit of her own douchemock in the pic, as is right & proper. The guy in the linked pic? Meh… Not feelin’ full-blown d’nozzle with him, but I am feeling Kristina’s outfit in certain locations below the belt.
Will you be my friend?
hey Tatiana, can you, like, invite Kristina over to your place for some lesbian sex?
…
oh and Tatiana is a great name too!
I’d let her stroke my Kalishnikov, and fondle my Scuds…
Fuck – we’re getting spamflooded by assholes.
like I’d buy something from you dickwad, after you pollute my favorite site?
get a clue nimrod
Douchski’s eyebrows look like two charred slugs. Doesn’t he have a big head compared to his torso?
.
Hey boss, we should have a “large cranium” category on the left side of the page. We’ll call it the Hall of Disproportionate Domes. HoDD.
Kristina and Tatiana need to visit me in Cincinnati.
.
That is all.
@Baleen, 11:48 p.m. –
.
I’m up for a Hall of Titanic Taters.
The only thing about this guy I don’t like is his shaved side head, who does that? Vanilla Ice? Jared Allen? Those 2 guys can get away with it, this loser can’t, even though it seems to have lured some boobies his way.
whoops wrong thread somehow….I need some damn coffee.
Beauty is a curse.
It could be worse: the douche could be this guy. Some clueless git attempts to invoke the rock star exemption, but being a douche isn’t a requirement for playing hockey…
MMMM love them Russian women. Funny to think of the US propaganda about Russia women being frumpy when in fact they have a higher hott ratio