Thursday, July 1, 2010

Reader Mail: The King Meets His People

Douche Ellington meets ‘bag royalty:

—-

DB1,

While this won’t make the site (alas, no pictures of Hotts), I did have a celebridouche sighting this weekend.

Yesterday, at a hot chick and douchebag-packed pool party at the Roosevelt hotel I ran into King Douchous the IV, who happened to know some of the people in my party. Which of course had me questioning my choice of friends. The moment was kind of surreal. Much like that of a celebrity sighting, but with a lot more grease.

I didn’t get a chance for a picture, because my only camera – my phone – was locked firmly up in my backpack to prevent the touch screen from being tainted by the overabundance of grease in the general vicinity.

– Douche Ellington

—–

What is most important, D.E., is that you mocked heartily and with linguistic dexterity from a safe distance, and then hit on the hotts when he went to the john to grease up again.

That is the key to a life well lived.

That, and HoHos.

# posted by douchebag1
9:49 am July, 1 Wheezer said...

Douche Ellington, it may very well be that your friends have gone undercover to bring us photographs. When behind enemy lines, it’s important to not immediately tilt—–errrrr, tip your hat, after all.

.

Or, at least that’s what I’d keep telling myself. But stay true to the mock, brother baghunter, and thank you for the submission!

10:00 am July, 1 jonezy said...

how many said Hott chicks would you say the King greased up, ie was photographed with?

10:21 am July, 1 Vin Douchal said...

@ Douche Ellington

Fuck that. You have a warranty on that thing don’t you? I would have used up all 2 gb of my SD card snapping photos.

.

What if Jane Goodall had said, “Gee , those monkeys may throw poop at me, I’d better keep my cameras sheathed” ?

.

What if Victor Jorgensen had left his 35mm in his carry all and we never got the greatest photo of the 20th century?

.

What if Alexander von di Vinci-Einstein never photographed the light molecules excited in one of those proton blaster thingies and created nuclear boobie powered electric plants ?

.

Hmm? Food for thought …. mmm ….food….. time for microwave popcorn ….. and a nice cold Dr Thunder

11:02 am July, 1 SuccessLadder said...

Great post, very informative. Keep up the good work, Thanks.

11:55 am July, 1 Dr. Richard Goesinyou said...

Whilst in Vegas, Samir decided to head up to the North Las Vegas Indoor Swap Meet to obtain a new white wrist band and topographical haircut map of his hometown, Adelanto, CA.

“If only all my homies in the photo department at the Rite-Aid in Hesperia could see me now”, he exclaimed as he gladly contracted Hepatitis B from the over-friendly hott.

12:07 pm July, 1 Whoop-di-douche said...

Rough Rider Teddy Roosevelt, having made his monthly ghost foray into modern haunts with the family name, takes aim at the obvious beast King Douchous IV, fires, misses, and then vanishes back into the other side.

NO one has been able to explain that popping sound, nor find the source of that strange wading pool leak, but the contamination level of pool- douche-poo has been noticeably lower in recent days, along with the vanishing water.

As a consequence, the air is now filled with the stench, yea, drench of the poo of Buffalo Beast and other big game trophies.

3:33 pm July, 1 Crucial Head said...

I still think King Douchous IV is one of the funniest names ever. *chortle*

.

Fuccen work is burying me. Is it Friday yet?

.

.

*glug, glug, glug*

5:22 pm July, 1 Deltus said...

Should have had the phone out, man. Never pass up an opportunity to snap pics of dbags and hott. Never know when a gem will come up.

8:47 pm July, 2 mbt Shoes said...

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9:35 am July, 3 Steve L. said...

wow Douche Ellington has one badass camera. can it also morph into a root Transformer style and gouge King Douchuous’s eyes out?

i can dream, can’t i?

9:37 am July, 3 Steve L. said...

@ myself right above,

morph into a roBot Transformer style.

and also, by badass camera i mean badass phone.

i blame Transformers for being a douchey movie.

5:37 pm July, 3 Mr. Pibb said...

those goddamn dr. thunder people are ripping me off…btw who’s the cooze?

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