Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Scrawnster McFung

I haven’t seen alien plant fung take over a body like that since Doctor Who fought the Krynoid.

Yeah, that’s right. 1970s Doctor Who references.

If you don’t like it, The Dirty is just down the virtual street.

Mmmm… Nikki’s swollen aboobdages call to me like the stolen jello molds I kept under the bed as a child and anthropomorphized by drawing sharpie faces on them. Don’t judge me. Jello Mold imaginary friends got me through 9th grade.

# posted by douchebag1
3:11 pm July, 28 Mr. Biggs said...

First! Oh snap!

I was thinking Prince Ashitaka’s arm from Princess Mononoke, but the Dr. Who reference works too.

3:45 pm July, 28 Vin Douchal said...

He looks like Ryan Stiles younger , even dorkier brother.

.

Making fun of this guy will be like throwing a heater past Arquimedez Pozo

3:57 pm July, 28 Voulez-vous Douchez said...

I spit upon The Dirty! Their 8th grade-level “blast” mock is an insult to the great ‘Bag scholars of this forum.

4:01 pm July, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Let’s give ’em a hand ladies and gentlemen. The winners of the “Savannah Jellydong Stuffing Competition – Couples Division” (Ryan and Marissa) are seen here celebrating (and wincing) after setting shattering the previous record of 97 set by King Sharty and Hello Cracky. When asked about their unique training style Marissa said, “I figured we’d be a shoe-in after Ryan’s first night in prison. I did my part by holding my own in.”

4:07 pm July, 28 Good Chief Geroniscrote said...

Looks like McFung is about to do the Spiderman with that urine sample on Nikki’s serpent print mommy bags (it appears that she may have already squatted a dump on his chest).

4:43 pm July, 28 Troy Tempest said...

Nikki’s swollen aboobdages call to me like the stolen jello molds I kept under the bed as a child and anthropomorphized by drawing sharpie faces on them. Don’t judge me. Jello Mold imaginary friends got me through 9th grade.

.

Dude. That shit is whack and crazy talk. You are scaring the fuck out of me, and I’m just a fuckin’ puppet. On strings.

5:12 pm July, 28 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

I’ve come back to this pic a few times hoping something pithy would come to me. All I’ve got is ‘heavens to Betsy what a rack!’

5:28 pm July, 28 Steve L. said...

@ Troy Tempest 4:43 PM,

you scared the fuck outta me when you gave a nottadouche pass to the Superlobe.

5:30 pm July, 28 Steve L. said...

those aren’t jelly dongs. those are JELLY BOOBS!

and that’s jelly pee in Scrawnster McFung’s Ubiquitous Clear Cup.

6:42 pm July, 28 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

She looks strikingly similar to my ex. This fills me with awful memories, Then I see that oddly shaped pud and have an awful image to go along with the memories. Wonderful

7:13 pm July, 28 Al Anon said...

I peed in a UCC once.

7:43 pm July, 28 Bag A said...

Jello molds = jiggly. Indeed.

8:45 pm July, 28 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

I shave my head, douchebag

8:50 pm July, 28 Troy Tempest said...

we’re getting spam flooded by GHD douchenozzles.

9:24 pm July, 28 creature said...

give head daily!

9:25 pm July, 28 Justin said...

GHD?

.

Gator Humps Dogs?

.

Gullible Horse Depository?

.

Genital Herpes Delivery?

.

Gaping Hiney Dudes?

9:33 pm July, 28 Fatness said...

Greasy-Haired Douchebags

10:17 pm July, 28 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Gropes Hippopotamus Dongs

Gargles Hamster Drizzle

Gives Hounds DPs

10:56 pm July, 28 Crucial Head said...

@Troy,

I’m not sure what you’re talking about. But someone named GHD amended their comment in the annunciation of our Weekly Winner’s thread below.

Silly spammers.

12:17 am July, 29 Wheezer said...

Giraffe boobies?

.

Huh! But it ain’t my neck that’s stretchin’…..

12:18 am July, 29 Baleen said...

Mommy picked up my Ambien script while I was at work. Gotta love my wife. Let the 4am zombie grease splatter cooking disaster commence.

12:24 am July, 29 Baleen said...

See that gentleman on the far right? He’s from Sudan. And after six months working at at the Crown Plaza in Reno, he misses home.

12:54 am July, 29 Scroteophobic said...

Sadly it was her face fung that colonsed his body. Seriously, motorboat her and you’ll end up with a Celtic knotwork side panel on your best friend.

Or is it just this monitorthat makes her look like she hs a goatee?

1:09 am July, 29 Baleen said...

@ 12:24 I stuttered. Idjut.

2:48 am July, 29 tall guy said...

Troy’s notta pass on the lobe dude raised an important distinction. It’s similar to the person who moves abroad and realizes how important it is to maintain their cultural identity. However this becomes tricky when they also have to justify their decision to leave the land that created that cultural identity. The easiest way to do this is to argue that their homeland is changing. Similarly the “maybe/maybe not douche”, whose slightly offbeat look, a look that on first inspection might appear very douche, must surely be aware of the visual impression he is creating. Hence the douche classification may often be found in the particular genius of justification heard in their argument. If the complaineth too much: definite douche.

6:07 am July, 29 mr.reeve said...

I took some GHD once and my balls shrank. Holy boobies slapping my face Batman!

6:22 am July, 29 Troy Tempest said...

@tall guy – yeah, for the most part. One of the things I look for in a Real Honest to Jebus Douchenozzle is the look in the eye – if it’s a hardened sneering ignorant glare smouldering under a veil of entitlement and narcissism, then they could have the JFK memorial haircut, a brooks brothers suit, and never have seen a tattoo or piercing other than their momma’s pearl earrings, and they would be a total and complete douchebag of the first and smelliest order.

Case in point: the zen master of douche: Samurai Scrote.

His douche is so powerful, his scrotitude is so vast and comprehensive that all he had to do was:

a. wear a man’s dress tie as a bandana

b. wear sunglasses indoors

c. Have that douchie set to his jaw and mouth

and BANG ZOOM – straight to the moon – he became a LEGEND among douchebags. His comments thread is possibly the longest in Blogger history.

But if you look at Superlobe, there is a softness in his gaze. Here is someone who purposefully tortures himself, causes himself enormous amounts of physical pain, for te sake of “being different”. Now, we can say he is misguided (he certainly is that) but a douchebag? I’m just not getting the douchie vibe from him.

It’s a certain toxic selfishness that makes someone a douchebag. I think the greico virus is a meme virus – it infects the mind, and this infection has material results. From there, Superlobe could easily swing into douche-ness. He just has to think: “This is all for me, and my life consists of drinking, conspicuous consumption, and fuckin da bitches cuz they’re a bunch a hozes anyway”.

But with fucked up ears like that and enough steel in his face to set of metal detectors in six counties, he ain’t gettin’ the quality pussy and he never will and he knows it. And I think he’s cool with that, which makes him nottadouche. Now, if he got all bitter and started getting photgraphed with paid to pose skanks and whorie old cougar bleeths, then, yeah – he’d be a douche.

6:47 am July, 29 Disconnected said...

I must disagree and give out a nottadouche on this one. Having ink does not automatically make a douche (I don’t have any, so not talking for my own benefit here), and dude is not making signs, facial poo expressions or muscle posing. Also, party is outdoors so I must forgive the sunglasses.

The hott is hott.

6:54 am July, 29 Disconnected said...

Oh, and for the above reasons, I would agree on the nottadouche for Lobo the ear bracelet inkman…

7:14 am July, 29 mr.reeve said...

^No way. This guy gets a bag tag for his hair alone. Lobo has a Monster energy drink t-shirt on as well. That’s douche.

7:20 am July, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Unimpressed, John Largeman lumbered back to Comic-Con in search of the hott young Asian girl he’d seen the day before dressed as Sailor Moon. Failing that, there was always the buffet and a platter of partially cooked bacon and pruney mushroom caps filled with artificial crab.

8:33 am July, 29 Deltus said...

Tried to think of something pithy about this guy. Keep getting caught up staring at Nikki’s fine, fine chestmonsters. *motorboat*

8:41 am July, 29 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Having ink is douche. Who gets inked unless they want others to really notice them? That is douche, or at least proto-douche, sort of like Pre-Cambrian douche. Douche that was there before outright, poo and puke-able douche.

Besides, his head-shave is a total giveaway, if nobody is sharp enough to catch his act just by looking at the tatts.

12:33 pm July, 29 Scroteophobic said...

@Whoop-di-douche

So Medusa is a douche?

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