Friday, July 9, 2010
Slick Rick Wears a Headband
Other than the headband, Slick Rick isn’t really noteworthy as an anthropological douchebag specimen.
So why run the pic?
Because I would like to heartily encourage America’s young adult women of quality curviture, like Sophie and Lisa here, to embrace on the dance floor, and slyly fondle each other.
Don’t think of it as faux lesbianism for the male gaze. Think of it as giving back to the larger community.
Slick Rick needs no hand gestures to attract the hott.
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Slick Rick needs no bottle of Grey Goose.
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Slick Rick rejects outward signs of douchitude. Slick Rick is higher conscious douche. You will not know Slick Rick by his movements or actions. Only his mind power.
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And his badass head band.
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.
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I’m feeling a sense of déjà vu.
DB1 wonders “…why run the pic?”
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I’ll tell you why:
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The somber, black clothes, the animal magnetism, the charisma, the all-knowing smile, the tie around his head.
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This may well be Samurai Squirt, the younger, more pimply, half-brother of Samurai Scrote.
Sophie’s limp arms betray the joystick-guided wheelchair that’s out of frame, or she’s been slipped a mickey by Slick Rickey.
The girls begin to sway like wheat in the breeze as Samurai Squirt’s roofie-laced Olestra chips take effect.
Nice sneakers on the chick’s feet behind them.
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WHAT IS THIS, VASSAR?
DB1 is making us wait for Ass Pear.
Brunette came in a tube top and left in anger.
Slick Rick has been taking lessons from Samurai Scrote. Clearly, he has a ways to go – SS was able to pull it off with just a man’s tie and a pair of aviators. Slick Rick required the flashy shirt, the greasy pants, AND the polyester custom headband. Way too much work. More practice grasshopper. Several more years of douchification and you may be able to lick the toejam footballs of Samurai Scrote. Until then, you are still a child, a rank amateur.
but don’t despair bagling, you are well on your way to becoming a complete and utter ass grabbing fuckwit douchenozzle. Keep up the good work, Slick Rick. And by good work, I mean your self-immolation on the interwebs by means of your stupidity. And by stupidity, I really mean stupidity, you fucking moron.
The toughest guy at the prom always wears his tie around his head. In 10 years Rick will realize that being the Assistant Manager at Hollister really isn’t that cool.
Samurai Squirt once had an awkward moment…..to see what it felt like. And he realized it was an improvement.
Have a great weekend, you hatters! I’m off to work – keep Ass Pear warm and snuggly for me…..
oh so close to being given the coveted notadouche. better luck next time slick ol’ chap.
He’s a try-hard. Mock worthiness in itself. Hott in blue truly tasty too.
Sophie and Lisa always felt kind of singled out in high school as the only Siamese twins joined at the kneecaps. But they vowed that they would enjoy themselves their senior year no matter what. Shortly after entering what would be their last Spring formal ever, they were accosted by Slick Rick who wanted to know if they could “do the Charleston”.
Too young to comment. This is nice material for my son though.
Me thinks Rick doesn’t quite get where the necktie goes…
Samurai Scrote once concocted a slurry of Alpaca jizz, uncut heroin, and Borax and stored it in his rectum until the winter time.
I think Rick jumped into the frame at the last moment and interrupted an embryonic sapphic moment…Sparkle bitch is clearly ready to show Turquoise bitch the wonder of the lady parts…
this pic makes me wish i attended a high school prom when i was still in high school.
i may not get to defile the hotts, but at least i could give Rick a hearty mocking.
Samurai Marblesack
“What? Football World Cup was yesterday? Don’t you mean the Super Bowl? That’s not until February.
Oh, you’re talking about soccer! Yeah, my eight-year-old plays that.”
Think of this as giving back to the larger community of circle jerkers.
Think of this as giving back to the larger community of tube sock manufacturers.
Think of it as giving back to the larger community of
strapless bra designers.
Think of it as giving back to the larger community of cyan-blue dyemakers.
Slick-Rick is the Scion of Cyan, and Samurai Scrote’s inspiration, not an offspring or next-degree relative.
One year from prom night…miley cyrus and her cute friend are worth the calendar stalking wait
but today i use the headband to choke the life out of dipshit douchebag