Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Aqualick

Attempting to invert gender norms by grinding into Sexy Sarah’s crotch is not ironic, Aqualick. It just makes you a pud.

An orange, greasy, fauxhawked pud.

No. Check that.

I’m upgrading you. From pud to stage-3 ‘bag.

Mmmm… Sexy Sarah. Let us discuss Proust by candle light and then ignore my semi-head-move in for a kiss when I hug you goodnight, and then when I accidentally poke you in the thigh with my gnome sword, causing us both to nervously laugh and clear our throats and me to run for the subway.

Yeah. That’s right. I described it as a gnome sword. Judge me if you must. My therapist. does.

# posted by douchebag1
4:31 pm July, 21 Horace Dangleballs said...

DB1,

If you hit a bunch of ugmos, it’s a dragon slayer.

4:46 pm July, 21 End the Haberdouchery said...

My sister has that turquoise blouse.

4:46 pm July, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He is not using his Machiavelli that night. He is doing a reverse hind grind. Faggot and hag.

4:49 pm July, 21 Wheezer said...

I like Sarah’s boobies.

4:49 pm July, 21 Vin Douchal said...

Sarah tried her first taste of the new batch from her feremented menstrual juices….

.
“….. MMMmmm …. 80 proof ……”

4:53 pm July, 21 Whoop-di-douche said...

DB1, I hope you don’t go trolling with your gnome sword.

4:54 pm July, 21 Whoop-di-douche said...

Sarah sips a cocktail while receiving a cocktail, what a two-edged gnome sword.

5:01 pm July, 21 mr.reeve said...

Aqualick might be a gaybag and Sarah might be a fag hag. Either way Sarah needs a spanking and Aqualick needs a punch to his face.

5:18 pm July, 21 Medusa Oblongata said...

The only time a man and a woman should be in reverse this way is if she’s balls-deep into him with a strap on jelly dong and he is face-first in her toilet, lapping up the water like a dog and thanking her for the privilege of polishing her boots.

.

Not that I know what that’s about or anything, I’m just sayin’.

5:20 pm July, 21 creature said...

I’ve heard of this… the “I’ll tongue the power outlet while you poke me with a strap on & we’ll both get a charge” manuever

a big hit on the treat my booty like a gravel pit circuit

5:49 pm July, 21 chaserofthehott said...

When did this website become hotchickswithgayguys.com

7:05 pm July, 21 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

She looks just as frightened and amused as the rest of us.

.

Although I’m leaning quite a bit more to the frightened side. This whole charade reeks of X and Miller lite which makes my intestines rumble with nauseous discomfort.

7:31 pm July, 21 Crocodile Dun Douche said...

The doggie pose… you make your return. Oh how I hate you. Wait a second, why is he in the front…

8:00 pm July, 21 Steve L. said...

what is Aqualick trying to lick, exactly?

i don’t want to know.

8:33 pm July, 21 Darksock said...

Unfortunately, a powerful ass-chattering burst of hot flatus brayed out of Tony’s screeching anus just as it sealed airtight against Cindy’s flared outer labia, forcing a bloodied back flow of ruptured bladder piss out of her sinuses and into her Appletini.

8:58 pm July, 21 Justin said...

Holy shit Darksock FTW

9:02 pm July, 21 Stephanie said...

She ought to surprise him with a horse size strap on,and do us all a favor.

9:28 pm July, 21 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

She ought to surprise him with a horse size strap on,and do him a favor.

2:52 am July, 22 tall guy said...

Sarah is semi-old bag. That wouldn’t stop me from nailing her though.

3:20 am July, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Dark Sock is a sick fucck. Bloodied backflow of ruptured bladder piss made my day before I had my first drink.

4:49 am July, 22 boatbutter said...

Sarah is delicious. Even for a polydactyl.

5:21 am July, 22 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Aquaprick is confused, I think he’s supposed to be grinding on Jebus’ mini-junk standing next to Sarah. Drunk Gay bastard.

6:08 am July, 22 Sack O Douche said...

Agreed with all who say gaybag. Agreed that Sarah needs a fucen………with my detachable penis!

6:34 am July, 22 bigphatnotadouche said...

She is peeing on his butt.

7:54 am July, 22 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Maybe Sexy Sarah is wearing a strapon?? or maybe Sarah wasn’t born Sarah, but rather Steven, IYKWIMAITTYD.

8:44 am July, 22 Deltus said...

@Darksock: I’ve not laughed at something that simultaneously make me puke a little bit in my mouth for quite a while. Kudos, sir!

1:36 pm July, 22 douche bagel said...

aqualick… crayola discontinued that color for a reason. the reason is herpes

2:09 pm July, 22 elchingon said...

eres pinchie joto te gusta tepico…

9:03 pm July, 23 Fatness said...

Darksock,

.

“a powerful ass-chattering burst of hot flatus brayed out of Tony’s screeching anus”.

.

Man, you’re the Capote of our time. That scene will be burned into my psyche for weeks.

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