Monday, July 19, 2010

The Semen on the Mount

Jebus speaks:

“Ye are the salt of the margarita glass: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be mixed with Red Bull? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Ye are the strobelight of the club. A club that is set on a hill cannot charge too high a cover charge. Neither do men light a cell phone, and put it under a bushel, but on a belt clip; and it giveth light unto all that are in the club. Let your cell phone so shine before men, that they may see your tribal tatt, and glorify your chest shave which is greasy.”

— The Book of Mayer, 25 or 6: 4.

# posted by douchebag1
12:47 pm July, 19 Deltus said...

The more I look upon Jebus, the more I realize he is a whiny little he-bitch who, probably through freak accident, figured out that going completely strange was the ONLY way he was ever going to see some tail.

12:48 pm July, 19 bigphatnotadouche said...

Jebus’s Hott has gotten hotter. I can I change my vote in the weekly?

Jebus is a scary dude. I hope the end isn’t coming.

12:50 pm July, 19 the douche is alright said...

glorious Chicago reference. well done DB1

12:59 pm July, 19 Mr. White said...

And Mr. White said, “Let the little Vaguely Ethnic Ballet Hotts come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of the playpen belongs to such as these.” Medusa, 19:14

1:00 pm July, 19 Mr. White said...

And HTML said, “Let us not close the italic tag, so that all ye read seems to have a strange emphasis.”

1:02 pm July, 19 Anon said...

mmmm emphasis…

1:10 pm July, 19 Crucial Head said...

I fail to see how anyone could not vote for our Dear Load Jebus Shites, Scrotior of the world.

1:26 pm July, 19 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Mmmm….

.

I’d like to Sodom her Gamorrah.

1:35 pm July, 19 Medusa Oblongata said...

Jebus Wept.

.

And it tasted of Grey Goose.

1:49 pm July, 19 jcdouchey said...

If I speak in the death-tongues of douche and of hotts, but have not hatt, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

1 corimthians

1:52 pm July, 19 Steve L. said...

Richard Grieco called. he wants his douchey biblical book thingy too.

1:56 pm July, 19 Bagnonymous said...

DB1, you sick motherf*cker, I love you to death. First it was “Jeebus and Mary Chain” and now “Semen on the Mount.” You have either been blessed with the gift of verbosity, or you’re really hittin’ that Night Train today. Either way, congrats.

1:57 pm July, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Chicago, yes! Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care? The Rev does and he knows it’s time for the Ali Baba and his forty Jebus’s to win the weekly and go fucck off. That dude is Persian. And she is high on the fuclability scale with the Crusaders or Khan or Khaaaaaaan!

2:16 pm July, 19 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Our Jeebus, who art in Vegas,

hallowed be thy mane.

Thy hotts come,

they will be done,

by bag hunters as it will feel like heaven

Give us your AXE and your daily Goose.

for us to mock mercilessly,

because we cannot forgive those who have the hat tilt.

And cast off your Affliction and Ed Tardy,

for it will deliver you from evil.

For thine is the choadscrote,

the douchebag and the pudwank,

for ever and ever.

we hatt.

2:37 pm July, 19 Vin Douchal said...

His last supper was a tab of Pegasus blotter acid

2:44 pm July, 19 Mock Turtle said...

The Book of OSCAR Mayer? Because it seems to be referring to the weiner in the picture.

2:47 pm July, 19 Rondell Jenkins said...

Please enter me into your giveaway: Rondell Jenkins c/o http://jenkinsdothatthing.blogspot.com/.

2:48 pm July, 19 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I looked upon Jebus, and wept. And it’s the Book of John Mayer.

3:26 pm July, 19 Horace Dangleballs said...

Hail Mary, full of herp

the Hall does pity thee.

Cursed art thou in da club

and douched is your choad, Jebus.

Bleethy Mary — Mother of G-d

I pray for nudie photos

Now and at the hour of fwapping.

Get Some!

3:39 pm July, 19 mr.reeve said...

Jebus is starting to creep me out a bit and Mayerbag is apparently popular in Nevada. My eyes are blinded by Jebus’ hippiebag looks and my ears are deaf from Mayer’s choadasticly taintful lyrics. And if I were to run into Jebus on the streets he would reek of patchouli oil and B.O.

Both of you FUCK OFF!!!!

4:17 pm July, 19 Wedgie said...

whiskey tango foxtrot

5:05 pm July, 19 Sir David Douchenborough said...

I am beginning to think Jebus is trying to tap into the Catholic schoolgirl crowd. Either that, or he truly believes that if he looked like a pre op Cher, he would be able to walk into any slam poetry recital or electro dance club and get some action. He certainly has the “i am poor, frail, yet spiritual man” thing going. The more I see those types, the more I feel like throwing a burger at them and tell them to do some squats once and awhile.

5:22 pm July, 19 scrotum pole said...

Jebus, Mary and Broseph was perhaps one of DB1’s finest tags.

.

You’d think the well would run dry eventually, but he just keeps ’em comin’.

.

Must be the Hostess products.

5:38 pm July, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I still need my goatse, tubgirl, and two girls one cup for my dinner guests’ dessert. Links please you pervs. And may Jebus bless you.

5:57 pm July, 19 Bagnonymous said...

@ myself, 1:56pm:

.

It’s “Jeebus and Mary Stain, f*ckwit. Get it right…

6:32 pm July, 19 Guid is Good said...

I’m thinking maybe a non-virgin birth with Mary might not be a bad idea. Jebus can go sit in the manger for a while.

10:04 pm July, 19 Whoop-di-douche said...

Sister Mary Elephant called: She wants your schtick for the Firesign Theatre reunion album, DB1.

11:20 pm July, 19 Lil' Fartknocker said...

Albanian Jim Morrison wannabe

1:59 am July, 20 Istandouche said...

Mary is a Mediterranean knockout and Jebus is all kinds of wrong – My vote goes to this unholy couple.

10:12 am July, 20 DarkSock said...

Forty Gays and Farty Nights

1:15 pm July, 20 Mr. Biggs said...

Amen, brother db1. Testify to the magnificence and glory of the king of kings, douche of douches. For though I walk through the club of the shadow of Axe, I shall fear no margarita, for Jebus is with me. Wearing his bluetooth to the father.

8:30 pm July, 20 Stephanie said...

Does it seem to you they are sitting in a sauna with a goat. It smells kind of goatey here.

6:23 am July, 21 Douchble Helix said...

Whoop-di-douche, it’s Cheech and Chong.

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