Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Spastic Colon

Someone needs to eat more bran.

# posted by douchebag1
8:37 am July, 25 Wheezer said...

Once again, a blowout douchebag frolicking with no women in sight. I let ’em know it’s here, so we’ll probably garner a few comments from the “non-hatterz” crowd.

.

That should be fun.

8:37 am July, 25 Douchble Helix said...

This guides are too stupid to learn from history. White people can’t dance. Even in the internet era with webcams.

You’d think they never saw Eileen dance on Seinfeld.

8:56 am July, 25 Steve L. said...

i have a sudden urge to force this douchebag to perform Frédéric Chopin’s Fantaisie-Impromptu. well, more like “force him to learn it in 15 minutes or else amputate his arms and legs”.

when did classical music become so barbaric?

8:57 am July, 25 Liberté, Égalité, Douchebaggery said...

If this fellow was sick and was trying to sweat out the poison Tarantella style I would give a notta. Sadly this is not the case.

9:27 am July, 25 Vin Douchal said...

It’s like a young Jerry Lewis had just been tased in the balls after dropping a handfull of mini-whites.

.

That majestic piano is sliently weeping

9:28 am July, 25 G said...

Blew my coffee all over my keyboard…thanks, DB1…

9:37 am July, 25 Anonymous said...

Another useless article of household item parents move to the basement to make space in the house.

9:38 am July, 25 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

On a unrelated note, are the new Old Spice ads douche, or douchemock? I’m not sure.

9:49 am July, 25 Sir David Douchenborough said...

@Vin Douchal

I was thinking the same thing. I thought to myself: Look at that nice apartment piano and all the great music that would be played on it. Sadly, it is being wasted on the long lost member of O-Town bouncing about. I am sure that chaod in the video plays chopsticks on the piano and thinks he’s Debussy.

10:32 am July, 25 scrotum pole said...

Great.

Another Sunday, another frolic video and another eye-gouging session with a grapefruit spoon.

10:46 am July, 25 Et Tu Douche? said...

I’m glad I’ve never had to witness the frolic “live”. This just affirms my decision to not got to clubs.

10:47 am July, 25 Baleen said...

This is what happens after a few shots of the new Grey Goose Le Habanero. Either that or his pet gerbil is spelunking in the nougat cave.

11:01 am July, 25 doucheywallnuts said...

@Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche

I vote for douchemock.

Where as this video is mock douche.

11:10 am July, 25 whut said...

This blog is a huge douchebag. Too bad no girl would ever date it.

11:12 am July, 25 DarkSock said...

You’d spaz about like that too if your anal beads were the size of his blue butt bead in the background; he has a belt loader to the right to golly-stuff his butt with them. When he farts it sounds like Perez Hilton panting softly out of breath in a storm culvert. His anal swabs are string mops. His toilet paper is beach towels. His butt plug is a coffee table. You see where I’m going with this.

11:22 am July, 25 Lord McBaggin said...

if the point of a dance is to attract mates, this dance obviously works, as long as your trying to attract rabid gerbils.

.

either that or his ex filled his shorts with fire ants.

11:43 am July, 25 Mr. White said...

It’s amazing what they can do with basement finishing systems these days. You can make your mom’s basement look like a windowless waiting room at a bargain-priced gynecologist’s office.

.

The piano is trying to quietly edge its way out through that purple door. Run, piano, run!

11:43 am July, 25 creature said...

an ostrich would punt this excrement sac into the east river with a forward flexing knee

11:46 am July, 25 creature said...

btw, drop ceiling=bad

11:47 am July, 25 Jacques Doucheteau said...

He must be trying to shake a turd out of his pant leg. That’s the only reason I can figure one would intentionally look that stupid.

12:09 pm July, 25 Doucheachusetts said...

Everyone knows the only dancing ability one needs is to place one’s self behind the hott and hold on.

12:31 pm July, 25 mr.reeve said...

Why do they feel the need to record themselves dancing & put it on youtube? Oh I remember why, they are giant taint loving a-holes.

The shirts off dancing bags who bragged about how many jello shots they did still take the cake in my opinion.

12:32 pm July, 25 The Dude said...

Glad that’s not a playa piano.

12:41 pm July, 25 Whoop-di-douche said...

Yup, it’s the part about advertising themselves on YouTube that gets me. Of course, anyone wantin’ to dance well must practice, practice, practice., He’s got all the moves, not too badly done, better than most frolics seen on this site. But “poosting” them for all to see? LOL and douchey as hell on a bender.

And say, I was expectin’ to see him lose it in his pants, what happened? Is he wearing Depends? I hate it when I get so damn literal.

12:43 pm July, 25 End the Haberdouchery said...

I shudder to think of what kind of herpes-engorged jersey skank is attracted by this random waving of hands and jumping around.

1:30 pm July, 25 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

I come on here after a soccer game full of bad calls looking for a little pear to improve my mood (we got fucked hard and not in the good way)…and this is what i find?! Some how my it managed to increase my rage…thanks boss. Your going to be held partially responsible for some terrible, highly illegal activities. Just an FYI.

1:31 pm July, 25 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

You can see how agitated I am by the poor grammar and added words of my post. Me fail English? That unpossible.

2:21 pm July, 25 DarkSock said...

This video is actually of Hans Klenchenbunz of Homoslavia. Hans is the reigning Olympic Gold Medalist from the 2009 Analympics held in BangCockk. Here he is practicing for the most daunting competition: the Knotatholon. He has to expunge 3 meters of dry knotted hemp rope from his colon, without use of hands, from his anus, down the legs of his snug jeans, into his socks, before the shitty house music track ends.

.

True Story.

4:16 pm July, 25 G said...

^DarkSock,

In that case, the judges give him a 9.95 for originality and difficulty.

4:21 pm July, 25 Medusa Oblongata said...

I’ll tepidly agree that he’s actually not a bad dancer, he actually has some rhythm and he’s more fluid than the St. Vitus’ cases we see on here. However, the fact that he’s doing it in the basement of a McMansion tells me that this apple didn’t fall far from the douche tree. George Harrison’s guitar gently weeps; Mrs. Marinelli’s piano wails in outrage.

4:23 pm July, 25 Medusa Oblongata said...

“AJ rippin it”? So this is more of Hedonism Ricks’ “Rippin and tearin”? There ought to be a law.

5:29 pm July, 25 C.G. said...

does EVERY douchie, little, rich son have THAT haircut?

7:34 pm July, 25 08ArmyDoc said...

That’s it, I’m putting anti seizure medication in all the water supplies in New Jersey. Maybe antibiotics, too, since that sh$t might be contagious

7:48 pm July, 25 Stephanie said...

I have a dog that dances around like that,it scoots on the grass because it either has to take a $hit or irritated itchy butt.

He moves just like that.

That’s the only safe place to dance like that,in the basement so no one sees what a dick you really are.

9:28 pm July, 25 John Cougar Mellencamp said...

Hate to tell y’all, but dat kid gots da moves.

. . . but I’ve still wacked-off to waaaayyyy more pussy than he’ll ever get.

9:40 pm July, 25 leroy Fooness said...

Nice looking column with jersey drop ceiling in the basement. classic…

9:44 pm July, 25 Guid is Good said...

Where is Josef Fritzl when you need him?

9:57 pm July, 25 Fatness said...

Where is a flamethrower when you need it?

9:58 pm July, 25 3D said...

the kid dances like an epileptic cricket

Why cant the next :30 of video be of his father walking downstairs, seeing him flailing around, and bitchslapping him with a belt?

5:30 am July, 26 Constantine IX Monodouchos said...

White people can’t dance? They’re just a product of their environnement. There is no guilt. White kids are raised to play video games and be angry at their moms, not to be festive and dancing.

But when you get a douchebag enter the line combined to a white boy, ouh ouh.

8:45 am July, 26 Wedgie said...

I once ate habaneros, too.

10:24 am July, 26 Bagnonymous said...

On the plus side, there appears to be no full-size egress window from which he could escape if an improperly-wired can-light set his hairspray ablaze.

10:52 am July, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Choadtaint here looks like he’s been practicing this “frolic” for hours before he had enough courage to put it up on YouTube. You can see in his face a certain amount of concentration, if you will, at various points. “Ok, now after the spin I go right into the hippy hop.” “Now after performing the groom-the-kitty I’ll go into jazz hands.” And you know he made it for one of two reasons: (1) One of his “‘bros” said he sucked at flailing around after biting his tongue off or (2) some chick called him out at a club and this is his way of getting back at her. Oy vey!

2:40 pm July, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Yesterday was a good day to move.

8:27 pm July, 26 DarkSock said...

His club name is butt muscle

9:13 pm July, 26 Larry A said...

Hey guys chill out! The kid has proper skills. I don’t know why are you people so shallow to make conclusions based on how a person dances. This is like, for example, me considering all South Carolinians dumb based on Miss Teen USA 2007, South Carolina entrant. I think there’s nothing more douchy than embarrassing yourself with the ignorance you show in your judgment.

11:00 am July, 27 Bryan said...

When did Michael Cera become a guido?

11:58 am July, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Larry

.

Really. You have never said anything even remotely snarky about someone you didn’t know. Oh what’s that? Yeah I’m hearing the pot calling the kettle black. If you aren’t going to mock then find somewhere else to dwell. It’s kinda what we do here in case you hadn’t noticed.

Leave a Reply

What is 15 + 7 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)