Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Spiker Lurks

The Spiker knows the power of drunk chick.

He does not have to look with his eyes.

For The Spiker senses all with his spike.

# posted by douchebag1
12:56 pm July, 10 DouchYouWannaDance said...

Oh dear lord.

I think I saw one of those things swimming in the ocean during a Jacques Cousteau special.

12:57 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

She’s urpin’ at the sea-urchin.

1:01 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

The Spiker is

a) fond of sea urchins

b) fond of mediaeval mace weaponry

c) fond of sweet gum trees

d )fond of anal ticklers

1:03 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

Drunk chick Lola licks her lips in anticipation of using the free dryer ball she just found at her table. “My GOD the price of laundry has gone up these days.”

1:04 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

Drunk chick Lollas has never seen a dog with such a huge burr in its coat, let alone stuck to its head.

1:05 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

Drunk chick Lola wonders what happened to all the hor-d’oeuvres, what with all the leftover toothpicks she sees.

1:06 pm July, 10 Crucial Head said...

Sherman’s face was momentarily obscured when, without warning, each of his pimples spontaneously erupted with thin, yellow geysers of pus.

1:07 pm July, 10 Crucial Head said...

This douchebag’s suffering will be legendary… even in Hell.

1:08 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

Drunk chick Lola suspects her drinks have been spiked, and she knows who did it.

1:09 pm July, 10 Crucial Head said...

Pain has a face… allow me to show it to you…

1:09 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

Drunk chick Lola licks her lips in anticipation of one ballsy episode of cunnilingus coming right up.

1:10 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

Drunk chick Lola knows her dining room chandelier hunting is over.

1:11 pm July, 10 Crucial Head said...

Pinhead whispered in Penelope’s ear, “just come here and bleeth child, while you still have the option of bleething out quickly,” before turning his head and vomiting his Red Bull into an empty chalice behind him.

1:12 pm July, 10 Crucial Head said...

Do I look like someone who cares what Lämp thinks!

1:12 pm July, 10 Crucial Head said...

Any more Hellraiser references I can pillage?

1:14 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

Idiots used to count the number of angels on the head of a pin; now they count the number of fairies on the pinhead of a fairy.

1:18 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

Ghostly static-electrically-charged reincarnations of TESLA were appearing in bars, but Lola didn’t care.

Liquids were better conductors.

1:20 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

The Barefoot Bandit has really changed his appearance to blend in with vacationers in the Bahamas.

1:23 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

Some people just can’t get enough of the Fourth of July.

1:24 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

Fuller Brush goes to great lengths to pay live models to advertise their latest wares.

1:36 pm July, 10 Steve L. said...

the Spiker does not have to be within any degree of proximity of a drink to spike it. it’s called telekinetic drink spiking, yo.

1:56 pm July, 10 Dicy said...

Hmmm… boobs filled with booze.. I think this chick is on to something here!

4:10 pm July, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Calling him The Spider is giving him too much credit. Could this be a case of “Separated at Birth?”

Did his mom use this to inseminate herself, thus creating a bond that cannot be cut?

http://www.wellpromo.com/upload/upimg08/Home-Cleaning–Dishwashing-Spo-234608.jpg

4:12 pm July, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Spiker, Spider, same fuccen thing…

4:29 pm July, 10 Baron Von Goolo said...

Thank you for a memorable afternoon. Usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature.

5:32 pm July, 10 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

MC 900 Foot Douchebag likes this chick.

MC 900 Foot Douchebag doesn’t like The Spiker.

5:45 pm July, 10 Jaques Doucheteau said...

You forgot one, Crucial: “Oh, no beers please, for it’s a waste of good suffering.”

.

I’d almost refer to this joker as The Hedgehog, but I think that nickname’s been taken. I just can’t recall who right now…

5:50 pm July, 10 Jaques Doucheteau said...

Maybe it was this guy.

6:23 pm July, 10 creature said...

Spiker lasted the better part of a morning at his new job, inflater at “Party Balloon Buffoons”… after a ‘debriefing’ in the custodial closet, his boss Gristle Groin Gary told him he was better at ‘fellating’

6:27 pm July, 10 Hugh Manatee said...

Breast feeding just wasn’t Terrie’s thing.

Here she displays the two cups of colostrum pumped from her mammary glands, which were meant to nourish and provide antibodies for the child she just birthed and abandoned on the lady’s room floor.

Too harsh?

6:45 pm July, 10 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

Now I likes me a two-fisted drinkin gal. Dandelion Head, though a bit douchey, appears to be fairly harmless compared to a truly malignant scrote.

7:15 pm July, 10 Euripidouche said...

the sad thing is, somewhere a porcupine is wandering around saying “does anyone feel a draught”

it taught spiker a valuable lesson about trying to play red rocket with a porcupine, however he is missing an even more important lesson, as our bleeth dispels the ancient wisdom that anything bigger than a champagne glass is a waste.

7:51 pm July, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I believe it was Galileo who posited that the party orbits around Sunhead, and not the other way around.

.

And everyone knew not to get too close to Sunhead, mostly because they didn’t want to get poked in the eye.

9:06 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

There’s always someone tryin’ to keep up with the Spike Joneses, but this one’s worth a double shot, mused Lola.

9:08 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

“I put mace in his brownies instead of pot,” smirked Lola, as she juggled two drinks while jiggleing her jugs.

9:12 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

“You oughtta see his pubies,” mumbled Lola. “It”s a unique experience getting a urine specimen from a two-peckered billygoat with sticky whiskers.”

9:15 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

“It’s been rumored that Mrs.Piggle-Wiggle planted allium seeds in the mud on his head,” sighed Lola, as she hoisted the appropriate ammonium nitrate liquid fertilizer.

9:57 pm July, 10 Arthur Hobson said...

I don’t know why; but a little tart like her could save me a fortune in prostitutes.

9:59 pm July, 10 Crucial Head said...

@Baron,

.

Awesome memory.

.

Perhaps you would like me to come over there and wash your dick for you, you little shit.

10:02 pm July, 10 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Looks exactly like the sea urchin I almost stepped on yesterday in Penang

10:46 pm July, 10 Troy Tempest said...

He actually has no face. His entire head is covered in spikes.

11:33 pm July, 10 BAMF said...

WTF haha the guys a dbag but the slut next time him i legit !!

12:36 am July, 11 Baleen said...

Hey cock socket ^.

Fucck off.

4:53 am July, 11 tall guy said...

Gawd all Mighty what hideous hair. Must be some sort of self-harming device.

5:23 am July, 11 scrotum pole said...

Buffalo Beast scratches his nuts, silently comparing his latest bout of crabs with the sea anenome seated in the foreground.

7:02 am July, 11 doucheywallnuts said...

“Hobson, you know what’s the worst part about being me?”

“Your breath?”

Also, the news that Russell Brand is playing the lead in the remake is nausea-inducing. Like the remake of the In-Laws. Blasphemy!

http://www.dlisted.com/node/37965

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1334512/

7:46 am July, 11 Luke said...

Can’t believe I’m the only dork that noticed that this guy looks like one of those Regenerators from Resident Evil 4.

9:50 am July, 11 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

She looks smart.

10:20 am July, 11 Doo Schnozzle said...

Let’s:

1) Take him to a park

2) Grab him by his ankles

3) Hold him upside down

4) Spear all the loose paper and trash on the ground.

11:42 am July, 11 The Dude said...

I don’t get it. *puts hand to ear like Jon Stewart on Daily show*

Wait, I’m being told there’s a spikey-hair douchebag in the background of this pic. I’ll just assume that’s true, and continue obsessing on the gal with the ~drinks~

3:19 pm July, 11 DarkSock said...

His pillow is a huge 6 foot long white cotton sock.

4:37 pm July, 11 creature said...

JoJo’s soft skull proved to be the perfect place to dispose of used Satay skewers

8:21 pm July, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Rumors have it that a giant pollen grain has been seen lolling in bars around Seattle of late, creating asthma scares; but not to worry, it’s non-inhalable, although inspiring enough to scare lung-rattlers into double shot of daiiquiris laced with Benadryl.

12:47 pm July, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Let’s see if The Spiker notices if we replace his head with a puffer fish.

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