Friday, July 2, 2010

The Tang and Soshanna Run With The Goose

Do I smell an HCwDB of the Week finalist in this unholy pairing between sweet college student and Tang Douche? Yes. Yes I do.

Oh wait. That’s just my socks.

Stupid laundry detergent. That most certainly does not smell like a summer breeze.

Well. Maybe a summer breeze in Cleveland.

# posted by douchebag1
10:32 am July, 2 mr.reeve said...

Soshanna is even hotter in this pick and Tang is douchier and less freaky looking. He does need to focus on his legs more. What kind of douche are you Tang? You need to be a complete bag not half a bag from the waste up. Let’s get going on those squats!!

10:32 am July, 2 mr.reeve said...

Speaking of squats, Soshanna can squat…………on my face……

10:40 am July, 2 Douche B4 Dishonor said...

Tang’s jeans have a 22 inch inseam . Shoshanna has spectacular boobies.

10:44 am July, 2 massengill said...

In the background, Buffalo Beast’s wife brings Samurai Scrote a bowl of miso soup.

10:44 am July, 2 tall guy said...

Bloody hell! Soshanna is a healthy looking girl. Look at that rack. Those shoulders and the glimpse of thigh. Hmm, Soshanna, if you ever read this come over to Australia and visit me.

10:45 am July, 2 massengill said...

In the foreground: boobs.

10:51 am July, 2 uscrascal said...

damn, she is so cute.

10:52 am July, 2 uscrascal said...

Fisheye Pear?

11:00 am July, 2 Wheezer said...

It isn’t a summer breeze you sense, Boss. It’s Summer’s Eve.

.

That said, I’d still like Shoshanna to blow through the jasmine in my mind.

.

.

.

.

That’s right. I brought the Seals & Crofts early 70s soft rock game, and Shoshanna’s my Diamond Girl.

11:02 am July, 2 tall guy said...

And re. Tang, I say he’s a contender for a weekly finalist because he does indicates a certain commitment to douchery, although I’ll guess it’d be any way the wind blows with this dude and while we may see potential for horrendous douchery at present there’s every likelihood that we’d see, for example, a nerdy look effect next week. Removing a weekly – assuming the recipient agrees to part with it – must be one of life’s great challenges. Probably better not to risk it.

11:04 am July, 2 Merle Baggard said...

On one hand, too jewish… On the other hand, Boobies.

In the other hand, schlonga.

11:07 am July, 2 Merle Baggard said...

She really likes that outfit. I do too, especially the top

11:08 am July, 2 doucheywallnuts said...

Being that it’s Shabbos I’m going to rub the rabbi with Shoshanna’s photo in full-screen mode.

Tang’s feminine wrists and forearms are creeping me out. The expression on his face makes Tang a total creep-douche, or douche-creep…Whatever…

11:10 am July, 2 Mr. Biggs said...

How can you think of smelly socks with those golden globes staring you in the face!

That’s right. Contender for Golden Globes right here. Girl next door golden globes, or at least girl in Hebrew School golden globes.

Tang stares at nobody. Or, to put it better, there is nothing doing the staring.

11:14 am July, 2 chaserofthehott said...

aaaannndd….. BOOBIES!

11:16 am July, 2 notadouche said...

sexiness personified meets creepiness personified

11:21 am July, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Hott Soshanna is the real deal

While Tang is just a schlemiel

Blast him in the nose

Give her my crotch hose

In a wild sex session surreal

.

L’chaim !

11:22 am July, 2 bigphatnotadouche said...

Yo Veh, what great cans. Too bad we can’t see Ass Pear from Soshanna.

11:23 am July, 2 Et Tu Douche? said...

What would John Largeman do if he walked in and had to witness this? NOTHING because John Largeman doesn’t frequent clubs such as this. He’s probably at home with a six pack of Schlitz, chillin on the lazy boy, snacking on some pretzel’s listening to the Fresno Grizzlies on his AM-FM radio waiting for his old lady to get home.

Are we sure that’s even Tang? she has the same outfit on and he’s gone from douche T-shirt to a button down. Who am I kidding he’s still a douche even more so with him hiking up the sleeve on his shirt that is obvious douche signifier.

Shoshana’s jugs are spectacular time to fire up the motor boat. I’m still dismayed/confuse as to why she has that skirt hiked up past her belly button. Here’s hoping she’s not trying to hide a gunt.

11:39 am July, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

I see he’s now as orange as a glass of TANG and headed for the worst of poo-douchery if not stopped.

11:47 am July, 2 Stephanie said...

He could get work as a Oompa-Loompa…he’s small enough…

11:47 am July, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Y’know, I’m thinking this isn’t Tang in this photo. Odd camera angles aside, this particular choad doesn’t have the same sneer, swole/bloated biceps or tiny legs as the first photo.

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It’s the same delicious Soshanna fer sure

11:58 am July, 2 DouchYouWannaDance said...

Either this Douchwank has cameras hanging from his ceiling throughout the house, or he really is four feet tall, three inches wide at the base.

11:59 am July, 2 the motley douche said...

With DB1 jet-setting to the east coast, we still get our Friday pear, right? Please?

12:23 pm July, 2 DarkSock said...

I would roll on her Shabbos…

12:28 pm July, 2 Et Tu Douche? said...

@the motley douce

“With DB1 jet-setting to the east coast, we still get our Friday pear, right? Please?”

I’ll share some pear

[IMG]http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/7354/th1e.jpg[/IMG]

12:35 pm July, 2 Douche B4 Dishonor said...

I spent the last hour comparing the 2 pics of Shoshanna. The guy in this pic isn’t the guy from the first pic. They are just douchebags that are the same tone of orange.

5:00 pm July, 2 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Yes, Soshanna, run. Run like the wind.

Preferably straight into my loving arms.

7:50 pm July, 2 Jaques Doucheteau said...

Mmmmmm, Shoshana. I’d fress her knish ’til I plotz all over the place.

8:00 pm July, 2 Jaques Doucheteau said...

She makes my shvantz more rigid than rabbi in a Smithfield Packing slaughterhouse.

Oy vey!

8:01 pm July, 2 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

I want to stick my putz in her zadnitze.

BTW, “Hi !”

ASvB

8:13 pm July, 2 Jaques Doucheteau said...

There’s an old Yiddish proverb that applies to Shoshana: I’d insert my penis into her vagina repeatedly.

.

Or something like that.

12:13 am July, 3 DoucheBigue said...

Holy Hall of Hotts and Golden Globes!!

Those tasty tata boobies while haunt me until I see her pear!

8:27 am July, 3 Troy Tempest said...

Shoshanna? Yeeesh. I’ve seen them change. When they’re in their 20s – they are delectable as you see here. They fuck around a lot and soon their reputations precede them – whiny, high maintenance, gold digging, idiots.

.

Bints Who NEVER:

1. swallow.

2. take it up the poop shoot

.

And who ALWAYS

1. are kinda lousy at blow jobs

2. spend more time on their nails than their grammar

.

They finally meet their husband, Maury Epstein, at their cousin Mitzi’s wedding. How romantic.

.

Maury is (choose one):

1. a lawyer

2. a dentist

3. a doctor

4. a commercial real estate broker

5. a stockbroker

6. some other cultural parasite

.

After they are together exactly 2.4 years, Shoshanna will “forget” to use birth control, get preggers, and poop out a kid or two over the next few years. In the process, she will gain weight, and by the time the kids are in high school, she will resemble an overstuffed chair, if overstuffed chairs wore gaudy jewellry and too much make up and stank like Estee Lauder.

.

Their house, a 3500sq ft suburban split level monstrosity and crime against architecture and nature in the Fox Grove Neighbourhood (whose foxes had been hunted to extinction a century ago, and the grove was chopped down and covered with an unrolled carpet of Kentucky bluegrass sod) will be neat as a pin, but she won’t lift a finger because a team of illegal aliens (Maria, Conchella, Marta, and Dolores) comes in three times a week to lick the place clean.

.

Their kids, Maury Jr. and Hannah, will grow up spoiled and ignorant little twerps with no understanding of what faces them in the future, as all such notions have been boiled out of their lives by Maury Sr’s unremitting focus on the bottom line and Shoshanna’s unrelenting and total commitment to keeping the local mall in business.

.

They will buy a summer place in Boca Raton, FL where they will end up drinking iced tea together in the afternoons of their lives.

.

These are the people driving the Lexus / BMW / Mercedes SUVs. They are the enemy of the planet. They are the horror, the nadir of civilisation. They are not cultured, nor do they have a culture beyond the prepackaged horseshit of consumerism.

.

Maury Jr will buy into the scheme and become the token jew at libertarian rallies. Hannah will rebel become a stage 4 bleeth, and end up on HCwDB with her boyfriend, Bowser Dickenlicker.

10:13 am July, 3 Steve L. said...

Tang is the reason why Cleveland gets a bad rap for its undesirable summer breeze.

10:26 am July, 3 OMFUG said...

Troy Tempest, are you a tzdakah fundraiser for the United Jewish Appeal of MetroWest-New Jersey? Your rant is word-for-word the same pitch they laid on me over phone this year when they were canvasing to get orthodontics for Falasha Jewish kids in Israel.

11:33 am July, 3 Troy Tempest said...

@OMFUG:

No. but I played one at CBGB’s.

3:58 pm July, 3 Mr. Biggs said...

Upon closer reflection, it seems Tang displays a textbook pedosmile.

6:37 am July, 5 Tony Ventresca said...

Troy, outstanding work sir. I particularly liked the bit about “commercial real estate broker” – so true!

7:53 am July, 6 The 'Bag Piper fae Edinburgh said...

SURELY she’s got to be a shoo-in for the Hall Of Hott. Those boobies ought to be immortalized for generations to come (double entendre fully intended).

12:12 am July, 12 dangerdouche said...

that looks like the expectant smile of a man waiting for the roofies to kick in… just sayin’.

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