Monday, August 23, 2010

Alexei Ovechkin Voted

Hockey superstar and renowned international douchepud, Alexei Ovechkin, wanted to stop by with his bitches, his Upside Down Sunglasses, and his Princess Leia ‘muffs and vote in the HCwDB of the Week.

Have you voted yet?

# posted by douchebag1
11:34 am August, 23 waramp said...

actually it’s Alexander, not Alexei.

11:36 am August, 23 Wedgie said...

Nice teeth. Looks like a miniature hockey goal…..you can just about flick a wrist-shot with a booger into that gapper.

11:37 am August, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Help me Obi Wan Crosdoby

11:39 am August, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

His mother was a nuclear shithead and his father a Mongoloid gulag recruiter.

11:50 am August, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I’m going on record as saying if there’s going to be any hott chicks kissing muffs, it damn well shouldn’t be those muffs.

12:00 pm August, 23 Sack O Douche said...

Never trust a Russian with no teeth and tattoos. Just watch Eastern Promises.

12:08 pm August, 23 douchetastic voyage said...

are you serious, any guy who thinks ovechkin’s first name is “alexei” is teetering on the edge of auto-douche status

12:20 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

no Ovechkin is not a douche, or only on the ice is he a douche, so if your playing against him on the ice you can insult him and elbow him in the face but as a person and off the the ice i dont think he is a douche or if he is hes not over 50% douchey, besides how can someone who turned from a fresh faced youngster in 2007 to now in 2010 lookin like a bear with scurvy be a massive douchebag? also his lack of teeth shows hes been punished enough.

12:22 pm August, 23 DarkSock said...

Dmitri considered his enormous opiate-oozing goiter sacs to be a blessing rather than a birth deformity.

12:23 pm August, 23 DarkSock said...

Yuri was ridiculed when he spent his life’s savings on eBay purchasing Andrea the Giant’s testicles, but now it was he, Yuri, who laughed last.

12:25 pm August, 23 DarkSock said...

The last known photo of Princess Leia’s idiot stepbrother Todd Organa, moments before the destruction of Tattoinne.

12:27 pm August, 23 DarkSock said...

The Ukranian method of maintaining donor lungs between surgeries, while crude, proved to be most effective.

12:27 pm August, 23 DarkSock said...

A.T.E. (Ass To Ear) is the latest fad sweeping the porn world.

12:33 pm August, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

DarkSock @10:25 FTW. Everyone else just go home.

12:33 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

“duh im ignorant about sports, and other cultures yet try i try and be pretentious err i dont know jack shit about NHL or Russia but still i mock it i think im gonna convert to Islam because im a ignorant asshole”

12:41 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

well in that case…mother teresa was a fucking douchebag, so was mandela, shakespere lets just say everyone in the world including all of you, douchebag1 and me (yes me too but im one in a cool way ) so there everyones a winner, its all square and even everyones a douchebag 100% of the world, woo! fuckin fine and dandy! what fun this is so douchebag it is

12:45 pm August, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Worst hat trick I’ve ever seen. What a puck-whacker.

12:47 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

fuck the washington capitals i support the penguins fuck me fuck the nhl fuck you if you like reading books fuck you if you ate lunch today fuck you if your alive fuck you if you died in the pakistan floods fuck the world this is the philosophy i genuinely live by this is how i fuckin roll fuck jews kill them fuck muslims kill them fuck christians kill them fuck religion fuck encyclopedias fuck the internet and fuck you everyone on the internet right now fuck you if you read this fuck you if your not dead yet

12:47 pm August, 23 CK said...

As mentioned earlier… You botched his name. That is pretty lame.

Plus, Ovechkin is a bad ass.

12:50 pm August, 23 mr.reeve said...

I know nothing about hockey or this Russian dude. He looks like a guy asking for beer money at a freeway off ramp. Or maybe it’s the guy playing Shane McGowan in the new Pogues biopic.

12:52 pm August, 23 Ludacris Axehandle McCockkwielder said...

Someone needs their Ritalin, pronto…

12:54 pm August, 23 Crucial Head said...

Boris furtively neglected to inform the ladies that they were kissing polar bear rectums.

12:56 pm August, 23 DarkSock said...

Dammit, I rush back here with a Shane McGowan riff at the ready only to find Mr. Reeves crushing my dream.

12:57 pm August, 23 Crucial Head said...

An unfortunate fellatio incident with his boyfriend’s steel condom left Igor with one less tooth.

12:58 pm August, 23 DarkSock said...

Then suddenly Boris’s anti-trollop airbags deployed with a loud “POP”.

12:59 pm August, 23 DarkSock said...

The girls lapped hungrily at Igor’s neglected earwax collection bags like baby birds at their mother’s beaks.

12:59 pm August, 23 Don Cherry said...

Ovechkin is just another Russian pussy. Anyone who wears a shield, hacks as much as he does, and NEVER fights is a pussy. Hell, even Wayne Gretzky fought Dino Ciccarelli once. It was a joke but at least Gretz dropped the gloves. Gimme a whole team of Bobby Orrs and I’d win the Cup every year. Send these cry baby Russians back to where they came from.

12:59 pm August, 23 Crucial Head said...

Vasily’s penchant for boxing his own head left him with an exaggerated case of cauliflower ear.

1:01 pm August, 23 Crucial Head said...

Inga and Olga seesawed the jelly dong to and fro amidst Mikail’s empty skull.

1:02 pm August, 23 DarkSock said...

Although his hang glider technically never left even the troposphere, Albania’s first Cosmonaut Yuri Gogorov was welcomed back in the village with a hero’s welcome and a ticker-tapeworm parade.

1:04 pm August, 23 Crucial Head said...

Ivan Denisovich reveled with the ladies one last time before being shipped off to the gulag.

1:06 pm August, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Jeez, someone’s a little testy. I stopped watching hockey when Gary Bettman took over. Fuccked up every last thing. If you’re too stoopid to remember Norris, Smythe, Adams and Patrick divisions, then you shouldn’t be watching hockey let alone running it. Hockey is a niche sport (for midwesterners and northeasterners). Trying to force it into other areas of the country doesn’t work too well. As for Ovechkin, meh, whatever.

1:07 pm August, 23 Crucial Head said...

There was a reason the black sheep of the Karamozov family, Hank, was left out of Fyodor’s epic novel.

1:07 pm August, 23 Deltus said...

Ladies! Don’t kiss those, you don’t know where they’ve been!

1:08 pm August, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

With unique precision, Inga and Olga expelled their stomachs through their mouths, swabbing Vitali’s ticklish ears with a coating of bile and day old viking yogurt.

1:12 pm August, 23 Anonymous said...

Uncertain of the results brought forth by splicing a Russian, a polar bear, Princess Leia, Michael Strahan’s mouth, and a gorilla, scientists Ania and Katya decided to continue on anyway. And for their coup de grace, they decided to give their “creation” a prince necklace.

1:13 pm August, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Four bottles of rubbing alcohol and two trips into the icy Volga later and Dimitre was ready to have the parasitic Tribbles sucked from his skull.

1:15 pm August, 23 Stephanie said...

Ponder this,if you didn’t know who he was,he’d be looked at like some of white trash dude that didn’t bother seeing a dentist.

1:29 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

i hate everything im the biggest hater ever i hate everything in the world! beat that i win haha- oh sorry have i got it wrong? is that not the point of this website? my bad WHAMMY!

1:31 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

wait wait i think i get this now ok so there is noone who isnt a douchebag except boring pencil necked geeks? am i right? yeah! i knew it i get it now alright wooo!

1:39 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

so Ovechkin IS a douchebag so he = douchebag

Mother Teresa still is a douchebag despite the “rules” because of the philosophy

but a boring pencil necked geek guy who writes books about the internet and outer space, and lives in Virginia and the most coolest thing he owns is a twinky is NOT a douchebag. yeah that is awesome man im so goin to change my lifestyle to a super geek because no way in the name of christ do i want to possibly be a douchebag – whats that i cant use axe? oh well i will just have to put up with the smell of my own b.o yeah thats awesome man.

1:40 pm August, 23 Fatness said...

^I thought the kids were back in school already.

1:41 pm August, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

WHAMMY! is the new VAG-BLAM!

1:50 pm August, 23 Anonymous said...

So if its in the game! wasnt already a douchebag due to his behavior, I would give him autodouche status because only DBs choose their online pseudonyms to match the tagline of their favorite video game sports company. Go for a hat trick. Land three money shots between Douchevsky’s gapped teeth and you win!

1:53 pm August, 23 Ludacris Axehandle McCockkwielder said...

@it’s in the game,
.
I’m sorry… are you upset about something? Because I can’t hear you over all the disjointed letters and punctuation you’ve been throwing into the comment box before pressing “Submit.”

1:55 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

im sorry but you guys are you Amish or what? because the amount of stuff you disagree with it seems like you are sorry if my opinion is too “weird” for your small retarded narrow minded backwards community enjoy life without Coca cola or anything good because thy book of Liebherr says Doucheyness is the devil!

1:56 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

newsflash you Amish wannabes grammar isnt life motherfuckers

1:58 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

i dont drink coke or use axe or go to starbucks. what are you Amish or a Mormon or something? no i just dont like “douchey” things I JUST THINK OVECHKIN’S COCKK IS DELICIOUS!!!1! YUMMMMM!@!!!!11!1. hmm oookay you fuckin freak!

2:01 pm August, 23 Anonymous said...

True Amish folk don’t use computers, let alone have one. And we know Doucheyness is the devil, otherwise we wouldn’t be on this site mocking ‘bags like you.

2:05 pm August, 23 Anonymous said...

I think a REGULAR is having some fun with this “its in the game!” run on sentences.

2:08 pm August, 23 Crucial Head said...

@Anon 2:05pm,
.
If by “Regular” you mean someone other than me, you may be correct. I’m just glad that it’s in the game! started being honest at about the 1:58pm mark. It’s all about being open and honest around here…

2:52 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

look if u wanna hate something hate something worthwhile like muslims at least then you can be part of a larger community i mean you guys are literally the only ppl that hate douchebags, why not hate muslims who caused 9/11 and who want to build a mosque near ground zero, ther have been wars fought against muslims, whole countries and religions hate them and what about douchebags? they are so not important compared to international things like Islam trying to take over the world, get things into perspective and stop bitchin about douchebags and bad grammar, come on you must understand i mean without gettin pissed off… otherwise fuck it ill convert into a douchebag muslim move to Dubai act like the biggest douchebag ever and then form a douchebag terroist group in Yemen, the muslims would be happy to disguise themselves in ed hardy if it meant they could kill americans, then blow up each of your local towns one by one…ACTUALLY IGNORE EVERYTHING I JUST SAID. JUST REMEMBER THAT I LOVE BIG, THICK, JUICY WANG AND I WANT TO SUCK JUSTIN BEIBER’S LAP LOLLIPOP UNTIL HE SINGS FALSETTO!!!

3:03 pm August, 23 Crucial Head said...

^^Those are some BOLD thoughts there kiddo.

3:07 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

^ that was kind of a fail. but ok seriously why not hate muslims AND douchebags, why just douchebags and nothing else? come on tell me i want to know why hate something unimportant but then not hate what most of the world hates the public enemy that is islam? although kudos for hateing justin beiber too, but please reply are you in support of muslims or is it because you are left wing or scared to diss muslims? or do you only hate ppl that have picked on you i.e douchebags but if a muslim picked on you, you would hate them also?? Why can’t you guys fight hate like I do…with a big mule-sized cockk in the mouth???

3:09 pm August, 23 DarkSock said...

I’m getting deja vu all over again…who was that little kid that started spamming us so badly about a year ago that the Boss was forced to deputize several of us into Admins? Well, anyway, the pasted together olestra spew of rectal grammar reminds me of him.
.
C’mon, Kid, what was your name again?
.
.
.
Yeah I remember the first time I freebased my sister’s Ritalin…

3:12 pm August, 23 DarkSock said...

And for the record, we don’t HATE douchebags. We mock them, in high tittering voices, then run away, pushing one another into the bushes and shit.

3:15 pm August, 23 douche bagel said...

it looks like stackhouse found the koolaid again

3:17 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

you didnt respond to my question WHY DONT YOU HATE MUSLIMS? why dont you hate muslims and only hate douchebags, i must let you know i am NOT a douchebag but i just dont think ther a problem, and im not a kid (im 20) okay i do drink coke, use axe and go to starbucks but most ppl do, dont act like the taliban! and i dont use proper grammar becasue i cba its too much effort, i got laughed at by douchebags too so what i just forget about it, im not a douche im not a geek im just normal idont take sides, however even tho i try to like muslims i cant help but hate them because of their ignorance

3:22 pm August, 23 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Max Talbot sez Ovie is a douche…

3:24 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

REPLY TO MY GODAMM QUESTION WHY DONT YOU HATE MUSLIMS?? I WANT TO KNOW NOW WHY DONT YOU HATE MUSLIMS FUCKIN RESPOND DO YOU LOVE OR HATE MUSLIMS?

“SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS”

3:25 pm August, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Donkey Douche said nothing as the bus crossed the state border into Virginia. His hand drifted unconsciously to the device strapped about his chest beneath his v-neck tee, the cannisters of AXE and TANtilize a firm reminder of the act he’d committed himself to doing. Soon the world would know the lengths Douche would go to to defend it’s name, it’s honor, it’s place in history. There could be no peace so long as there were hatterz spewing their hattful words on the interwebs.
.
In the meantime, his thumb absently fingering one of the cologne cannisters, Donk realized he hadn’t given himself a refresher dose since he’d left Chicago.
.
The lead story on the 5:00 news would concern a Grayhound bus that crossed over from eastbound lanes and into oncoming traffic, a cloud of noxious orange fumes billowing behind it. There were no survivors, though authorities would say that all on board the bus were the color of late autumn pumpkins and reeked of raccoon urine.

3:30 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

@ mr scrotato head

cool story bro , no honest its cool, but reply to my question WHY DONT YOU HATE MUSLIMS?

3:35 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

IM NOT JOKEIN AROUND I WANT TO KNOW FOR REAL WHY DONT YOU HATE MUSLIMS? DO U LIKE THEM? IF YOU DO TELL ME WHY U LIKE THEM…

3:35 pm August, 23 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

“newsflash Amish wannabes grammar isnt life motherfuckers”

That is my new motto for life.

3:38 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

^ok thanks but WHY DONT YOU HATE MUSLIMS? DO YOU LIKE OR NOT LIKE MUSLIMS?

3:42 pm August, 23 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

Fine I’ll take the bait.

I don’t hate Muslims. I do however strongly dislike EXTREMISTS of all faiths, be it Christian, Islamic, or whatever. Just as I dislike the extreme behavior of douchebags…who are terrorists of our culture.

Grammar isn’t life motherfuckers!

3:42 pm August, 23 mr.reeve said...

@its in the game!,

Go away fucktard. Take your run sentences and hatred for Muslims to the dirty or Perez Hilton’s site. They will love you over there.

3:43 pm August, 23 mr.reeve said...

^run on. whoops
its in the game! and grammar isn’t life motherfuckers!

3:44 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

@ douchey lewis and the news thanks i appreciate the reply and i can understand ur opinion and i agree with some of it

@mr.reeve wat do u like muslims then or something?

3:48 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

how about this “Grammar aint lyfe motherfukkaz” lol

3:50 pm August, 23 Eponymous said...

there’s a place to rag on Muslims etc and it’s called the Fox News internet forums.

not HCWDB.

get it?

3:53 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

@eponymous no i want to know wats ur opinion on muslims now have the balls to reply at least douchey lewis had the balls to reply, or r u scared the fbi are on the internet undercover and will keep record of ur opinion on muslims and invade ur house? lol

3:55 pm August, 23 Eponymous said...

@ it’s in the game

can you just pretend that Ovechkin is an Islamic Extremism and go away?

3:56 pm August, 23 mr.reeve said...

I actually hate John Mayer and wanna-be Red Sox fans who popped up everywhere in L.A. after they won the World Series.

3:56 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

no but that got me thinking another intresting subject russian muslims wats ur opinion about them?

3:58 pm August, 23 Eponymous said...

Islamic Extremist…

yep you nailed me that’s it exactly it you got me dead to rights I’m sure there will be men in suits waiting at my door ready to ship me off to Guantanamo…

3:59 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

whos seen the film behind enemy lines? who remembers the bosinan war? wasnt it cool? and wasnt all the muslims graves cool? and the snipers in tower blocks that killed bosnian muslims that war was AWESOME! lol

4:00 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

@ eponymous so why you like muslims?

4:01 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

im bein annoying and i dont even want to be lol the irony

4:02 pm August, 23 Eponymous said...

and wasn’t it cool when the US gave Bin Laden weapons back in the 80′s to fight Russia?

later turd

4:03 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

that was intresting but not cool okay later turd lol

4:05 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

im goin to send shoebox bombs to grammar whores lol

4:06 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

or hide bombs in books at the libary and send book bombs to grammar whores lol that wud be funny

4:06 pm August, 23 Eponymous said...

love thy enemy because it says so in the Bible

4:07 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

so far only 1 person has given ther honest opinion on muslims why?

4:09 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

send bacon to muslims lol “no i want my bacon i love bacon bacon is good for me” is bacon douchey? lol

4:10 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

lets talk politics because its depressing and makes ppl get pissed off lol

4:11 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

is politics douchey? lol

4:12 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

wat about eggs with onions in them or hubcaps are they douchey? lol

4:14 pm August, 23 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

I’ve tried to stay quiet for some time now, but I will be damned if I sit idly by and let you badmouth bacon!

4:16 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

were talkin politics from Gaza to Sarajevo talkin politics Arafat and Taylor….

4:16 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

im not badmouthing bacon it was just wasteland lol

4:17 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

wat about waldolf salad is that douchey? lol

4:19 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

wat about kfc chiken eaten by a black man wearing a new era cap is that douchey? lol

4:19 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

wat about charles taylor hacking off ppls limbs for blood diamonds is that douchey? nah thats politics lol

4:21 pm August, 23 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

Why not go old school and discuss Saladin or the Inquisition? I find that to understand the present you have to think about the past. Have you ever read Inequality of the Races? Gobineau can be blamed for many of the ideas the ignorant and stupid cling to.

4:21 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

wat about a dog eating leftovers from a dinner in a middle class house in scottsdale arizona is that douchey? lol

4:26 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

@douchey lewis your most recent post was boring stop bein borin cant u see ur borin everyone thats why noones here lmfao

4:27 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

how about a french farmer with b.o is that douchey? lol

4:28 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

how about a lonley burger wrapper caught in a updraft in downtown manhattan is that douchey? lol

4:30 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

100 comments on ovechkin? this man got skillz lol

4:31 pm August, 23 its in the game! said...

so none of u like talkin about muslims or genocide? man u guys are weird lol rofl

7:22 pm August, 23 Justin said...

Holy shit.

8:28 pm August, 23 Miss Anonymous said...

Is anybody still talking about this Ovechkin fellow? Is DB1 still monitoring this site? Anybody wearing his sunglasses upside down must have taken comedy lessons from Victor Borge. And who’s to say he didn’t get those giant muffs from a female Sasquatch crotch, or if a rare white gibbon is putting his paws to good use co-opting kissy lips tongues from entering O’s ears? O must be whistling “Dixie” in that tooth gap in homage to DarkSock to be getting those hotties so near and dear.

12:18 am August, 24 cunning stunts said...

Teeth missing, Wonder Woman ear muffs, upside down truckstop sunglasses and still pulling in some tail.

2:15 am August, 24 Steve L. said...

Ovechkin is the reason why Washington lost in the playoffs.

5:56 am August, 24 its in my mouth! said...

i luv cockk. big 1s, small 1s, thic 1s, skny 1s, fat 1s, wide 1s, flat 1s, square 1s, round 1s, muslim 1s, jew 1s, christian 1s, mormon 1s, black 1s, white 1s, brown 1s, yellow 1s, Euro 1s, Russian 1s, etc. you get the point do you like coccckkkk 2 because if you do we have something in common and we couldmeet for coffee and a felch or maybe we can go to a movie and than have anul sex in my car and maybe you muslims. why do you hate muslims? why do you hate mormons? jews? christians? anyways i still love cokkccc but i need 4″ or longer because my gap is wide and big from the donkey Douche fisting me in the corn hole up to his fore arem. its your mouth!!!!!! and mine!

5:56 pm August, 25 culdesachero said...

You have to be scraping the bottom of the barrel if you call Ovi a douche. The NHL has plenty of douches. Go pick on them. Don’t assume every guy with money and a hot chick is a douche.
Sean Avery is Grade AAA douche-of-the-century. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GD4ReELmq_s

Ovechkin likes to clown around. Douches don’t clown. They don’t have the brain cells and they’re too worried about their “imuhge”.

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