Thursday, August 26, 2010

Brad Pudt

Brad Pudt macks the serious a-list hottie huntin’ game in Austin, yo.

Just ask Eliza. She thinks his Jesus Bling and highly original tattoos are the raddest thing this side of the electronic bull down at “Dave’s Rodeo.”

Alls I can tell you, Eliza, is don’t make Brad Pudt point.

For he will point.

# posted by douchebag1
9:23 am August, 26 Ed Hardouche said...

Again, I used to hump guys like that when I was in prison.

9:33 am August, 26 Medusa Oblongata said...

Vomit. And her acid-washed, high-rise skirt is double vomit. I gotta go lay down.

9:35 am August, 26 mr.reeve said...

Nice handle bar chodestache and three finger ring. What’s that for donkey punching other inmates, Brad?

9:39 am August, 26 DarkSock said...

GET OUT YOUR FUCCEN CHECKBOOK!!!

9:42 am August, 26 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Nothing says Texas badass like drinking a tangerita and wearing Sister Mary Margaret’s holy cross. I smell a weekly contestant … and it smells like dung.

9:45 am August, 26 tall guy said...

Is that a holster for his mobile phone? Also, I agree with an earlier observation about the acid-washed denim as worn by his cock holster. Is there anything worse than acid-washed denim? Yes, double (acid washed) denim – as in a skirt/jeans & jacket ensemble. Double denim in any shade is appalling. In acid-wash it’s a crime against humanity.

9:46 am August, 26 mr.reeve said...

He got the Nick Swisher look going for him. Autodouche.

9:47 am August, 26 DarkSock said...

I thought Denim Jeans died in the 80’s. Maybe that was shorts, not skirts.
.
Judging from Brad’s drink, Mr. White needs very badly to start hydrating.

10:00 am August, 26 Blinded by the Shite said...

Brad has a triple cross-finger ring to use in pleasuring Eliza.
.
Eliza has a double cross-finger ring to use in pleasuring Brad.
.
It won’t be long before they have to swap.

10:01 am August, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Lollygagging as a vocation. If you collect enough cans from the neighbor’s recycle bins on trash day, you can afford Supercuts and gas station bling.
.
You didn’t invent Gatorade and vodka, Brad.

10:13 am August, 26 Medusa Oblongata said...

Brad looks like he could use a high colonic.

10:13 am August, 26 douches wild said...

we are in the presence of a paradigm here, of someone’s inner dullness being entirely manifest in their outer appearance. deep down inside this lumpen jackinapes is shallow, an actual challenge for his companion who’s succulent exterior contains the psychic equivalent of hanging chad

10:20 am August, 26 DarkSock said...

It’s James Shatfield, lead guitarist for Shitallica.

10:25 am August, 26 Baleen said...

The cool thing about acid washed denim is that when you jizz on it, the stain blends right in.
.
He’s a fuccen punchworthy turd burgler.
.
Boss, we’s needs some pear up in this bitch. The douche threat level has been code red for the last two weeks and my penis is withered from fear and abandonment.

10:27 am August, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Speaking of gagging, Harpoonian Cartoonian and his shitty website, TheDirty.com got pummeled in a slander lawsuit by a Cinci Bengals cheerleader to the tune of $11 million. El Prez at Barstool Sports.com is besides himself with glee.
.
Story / Photos

10:28 am August, 26 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

As Eliza smiled dutifully for the camera Brad quietly attempted to retrieve his “deposit” from her purse only to have his efforts foiled when his five knuckle ring became snagged on the upside down corduroy triangle of her Guess jeans.

10:33 am August, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Brad’s thring reads in Aramaic, “cum on my moustache you big coccked bastard.”

11:13 am August, 26 douchesquire said...

Eliza, meet wax. You apply it to the lower portion of your fivehead in order to deforest those caterpillars above your eyes. No hot chick = fail.

11:27 am August, 26 Mr. White said...

Jean shorts may have died in the 80s, but their acid-washed zombie cousins live on.
.
I can’t tell if the fact that Eliza’s head is as big as her torso is arousing or horrifying. Horrousing?
.
@darksock
I don’t need no stinkin’ liquids. Brad’s drink here is just part of my marathon. I’m trying to see if I can get so dry that my special sauce has the consistency of toothpaste.

11:28 am August, 26 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

If only he had something propping his eyes wide open, something as strong as the gel propping his curly tresses up like li’l flames comin’ off seared steak tatare.

11:35 am August, 26 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Symbolic gestures repeat themselves in the matching visuals of Bradpudt’s squared off mustache and triplecross ring, which horrifically echo an even flatter horizontal line: his eyes.

One can only wonder what other horizontal lines emerge from the Pudt, hidden away, sight unseen, untill called forth by his muse Eliza.

11:37 am August, 26 Anonymous said...

Looks like Brad Pitt and Bencio del Torro had a butt baby and squirted this dude out.

12:10 pm August, 26 DarkSock said...

@ Vin:
You can get sued talking shit about people on teh interwebs? Hm. Interesting.
.
This fine young gentleman and his lovely companion certainly look splendid in this photo, do they not? Wellll, gotta go…….

12:21 pm August, 26 Deltus said...

Brad’s really let himself go. I mean REALLY let himself go. And no, I don’t mean Brad Pitt. I mean this guy. Dude, you’re like a caricature… of yourself.

12:24 pm August, 26 Troy Tempest said...

She: parting my monobrow is finally paying off – a person of XY persuasion will talk to me. OR at least grunt!

He: Grunt. Can I keep the vomit down long enough to get through this picture. Fuck, I gottta hurl…

12:45 pm August, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Let’s hope these two never get married. Their kids would have foreheads as big as Chad Kroeger’s.
.
I never knew that harmonica rings existed. Who sells them? What keys/pitches do they come in? I’m getting a sudden mental image of Neil Young and Bruce Willis locked in a violent struggle over this guy’s ring. Oooohhhh, look at the pretty pink mist as they try to use a bar stool and and his rosary to cut his hand off…

12:47 pm August, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Uh, this guy has a mullet and a faux hawk. WTF should we call it? A mulhawk? A fauxlet? Help me out here.

12:50 pm August, 26 Sack O Douche said...

Hmm, I think I’ve seen this guy at the Candy Cat in Chatsworth before. And she probably “dances” there as well.

12:57 pm August, 26 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Dr. BH ^12:45
.
I’m told her muff farts in the key of B-sharp and that when Brad moves his fingers fast enough it sounds like she’s yodeling MLK’s “I Have a Dream” speech.

1:40 pm August, 26 douche bagel said...

kenny powers aint got nothin on this guy

1:48 pm August, 26 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

To his credit he doesn’t appear to be a body shaver as his arm tats are quite furry. Which probably only means they’ve cut out overtime at the Put-n-Putt.

1:51 pm August, 26 massengill said...

“Pudt’s my name, garage door installation is my game!”

3:24 pm August, 26 Stephanie said...

He is weak alright! I was pretending to be cool like, in 1984…

3:31 pm August, 26 Stephanie said...

1987 called and they want their acid washed jeans back.

4:03 pm August, 26 skrag2112 said...

Doesn’t he have a Village People audition to go to?

8:37 pm August, 26 Architeuthis Douche said...

As an Austin resident, I feel inclined to defend my city. No, I’m just joking; let’s burn this mother to the fucking ground and sow salt in the ruins. And this was such a nice city, once.

10:02 pm August, 26 Steve L. said...

looks like both of their plastic surgeries were fucked up.

7:44 am August, 27 the douche of hazard said...

I tell you what I’d do………….two chicks at the same time……

12:50 am August, 28 Webalot said...

This chode definately has a favourite WWE Wrestler.

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