Thursday, August 5, 2010
Brothabag Edgar Finds Wholesome Laura and an Ubiquitous Red Cup
The N.A.A.M.O.P. (National Association for Advancing Mocking Orange People) has just issued the following press release:
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For immediate release:
Thursday, August 5th. 10:00am E.S.T.
While we continue in our quest to mock douchebags of all races, creeds and orange colors, we do not believe Brothabag Edgar to be a Brothabag, and wish another ethnicity would claim him immediately. We suggest gnome.
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EDIT: Props to massengill for catching that Wholesome Laura is actually also Josslyn, making this a true hottie/douchey pairing across multiple pics. We’ll see that ‘fro in the next Weekly.
Brothabag Edgar Allan Attention Hoe
Get thee gone and return “Nevermore.”
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But I see a Weekly vote in his future.
Wholesome Laura, RUN! You won’t last 5 minutes before becoming hopelessly infected, and that makes my inner child cry.
This just in…all posts are now italicized…and all orange bags are circumcized…film at 11…
Vin enjoys a refreshing Orange Julius after riding feet first atop a speeding Greyhound bus cross-country.
Edgar is just happy he survived sticking his head in the metal trash can right when the carrot bomb exploded.
He’s obviously Iraqi-Fijian.
He looks like he was just breech birthed out of a huge Oompa-Loompa twat.
Are his shoes white or does is he wearing incredibly white socks?
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Maybe it’s the orange that makes them look so blindingly white. My brand new sheets aren’t that white. Hell, even my klan robes aren’t that white.
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Oops.
Little known fact but Andy Dufresne was pretty damn orange when he squirted out of that sewer pipe.
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Just saying.
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In italics.
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Without even trying.
He’s clearly Moroccan-Tangarinian.
Brothas acting like guidos and landing wholesome hots like Laura make me wanna pierce my ball sack with a pitch fork.
I found his birth certificate. His mother’s name is Orangina and his father’s name is Zevia. Apparently he’s South American. And a dippyfuck.
Oompa Loompa doopity doo
I’ve got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doopity dee
If you are wise you’ll listen to me.
What do you get when you blow out your…hair
And sculpt your beard to that chin fung you…wear
Your face is so orange it looks like poo
What is a Bleeth to do?
Run away from gno-home-boy!
He looks like what would happen if Lindsey Buckingham got a pumpkin pregnant. Compare Edgar’s fey grin with his dad’s….
This thing is as fucked up as a Frank Gehry building.
I can’t say why, but I am certain Stevie Nicks has hairy arms and a bush the size of a mid-sized thatched pygmy hut.
@ Rev. Chad Kroeger:
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I actually met Frank Gehry yesterday. He stole my umbrella. True story.
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No, dammit. REALLY.
If it were a lie, would it be in italics?
Michael Jackson’s son Prince Orange the Pooge.
Someone peed in Frank Gehry once.
Wait…is that Edgar Allen Poo, the famous author?
He should try reading this.
Wholesome Laura is the same girl called Josslyn below. Same bangs and chin.
Edgar wanted to share his favorite treat with us:
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I like how you have to smack it down really hard to get a piece.
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You know I’m talking about the Chocolate Orange and not the Orange Chocolate, right?
What up with the italics?
Frank Gehry is the only architect ever featured in an episode on the Simpsons.
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Eat it, Frank Lloyd Wright, Lou Khan, Imhotep, Le Corbusier, et al.
@ Massengill: The site just up and went gay. Or, The Boss forgot to close his html code. Either way, I’m goin’ widdit.
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Wait, what happened….
Yeah I’ll go with gnome. Hobbit would be demeaning to the LoTR fanboys.
I’m going with smoking Hobbit.
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It’s about time we kicked that Nasty Smoking Hobbit.
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sorry.
This thing is as fucked up as a vagina on a Pepsi machine.
Could he be a lost member of the Joey Porche tribe? The resemblance is uncanny…and nauseating.
This thing is as fucked up as a fiberglass butt plug.
Nasty Smoking Hobbit
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Aaaaagh!
@docucheywalnuts^
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Times are tough at the Joey Porche house so they picked up a foreign exchange student just for the cash.
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Edgar’s most definitely Pumpkanistani.
You’re not the boss of me, bitches. I’m on vacation today.
and the password isss………
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Orange.
He looks like one of those troll dolls.
EDGAR?
On sale now at your local Chevron…
let’s see….
Worked?
Testing 1-2-3
Try again…
Testing 1-2-3
Nope…DB1 is gonna have to remove that odd italics tag…
he sis definetly not black… he is spanish or indian
It’s been a long hard upward struggle for Dileep Rao, from his ‘Bag days to glories like Inception and Drag Me To Hell… kudos to Nolan & Raimi for believing in his true talent.
Meanwhile, here in my home city, the annual Festival is now in full swing, and that means only two things – a deluge of Eurocrust, and (even more) Aussiebag infestation (than usual). Spare a thought for those of us who have to live and work here. And the Festival Hotts are always an epic letdown.
acutally he doesnt look quite so queasily queer here, and the pose with the girl suggests hes possibly at least bi… or jus one of those gay guys tht enjoys the company of good looking girls and despite being a hardcore homo flirts with them. which iv never quite understood, Also for the record this guy is much worse than joey porsche at least there wasnt as big a doubt over j.p’s sexuality or ethnicity despite the fact he was jewish but pretended to b italian. but cant blame him evrybody knows girls only get with jews for their money and because they have a penchant for circumsised dicks…psyche
I still say Lisa Bonet in a windtunnel
Testing
I blame the Middle East. This guy is the James Bond of al-Qaeda.
He’s the star of the new Bollywood movie, Slum-douche Millionaire.
Fixed the italics thing. I blame Brothabag Edgar’s slanted perception of reality. Or something. Back to drinking.
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– management.
They finnally found my long lost brother!
Definitely an Orange M&M. Orange on the outside, brown on the inside.
Which I guess would make the orange white people circus peanuts
I’m with Scrotato Head, Moroccan-Tangerinian he is.
But he also reminds me of that blooming onion I had last night at the Outback. Scorched.
do we really want to piss off gnomes? they can blow you up with a fireball, you know. because, according to Dungeons & Dragons, gnomes are naturally talented at magic. that, or they can invent some crazy machine to horribly mutilate anyone who dares associate them with BB Edgar. because World of Warcraft says so.
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I HAVE BUT ONE LIFE TO GIVE FOR NERDY REFERENCES.
Orange french tickler head…guys like him cry when you punch them.
He is the royal heir to the throne of the pumpkin people.
@Massengill ^8:34
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Ha! You said “bangs and chins”.
Sistabag?
I used to think Carrot Top was the scariest Orange thing out there, looks like you’ve been trumped Carrot Top. Now you truly have no redeeming quality whatsoever…