Thursday, August 5, 2010

Brothabag Edgar Finds Wholesome Laura and an Ubiquitous Red Cup

The N.A.A.M.O.P. (National Association for Advancing Mocking Orange People) has just issued the following press release:

—–

For immediate release:

Thursday, August 5th. 10:00am E.S.T.

While we continue in our quest to mock douchebags of all races, creeds and orange colors, we do not believe Brothabag Edgar to be a Brothabag, and wish another ethnicity would claim him immediately. We suggest gnome.

—-

EDIT: Props to massengill for catching that Wholesome Laura is actually also Josslyn, making this a true hottie/douchey pairing across multiple pics. We’ll see that ‘fro in the next Weekly.

# posted by douchebag1
7:22 am August, 5 Wheezer said...

Brothabag Edgar Allan Attention Hoe

Get thee gone and return “Nevermore.”

.

But I see a Weekly vote in his future.

7:31 am August, 5 Deltus said...

Wholesome Laura, RUN! You won’t last 5 minutes before becoming hopelessly infected, and that makes my inner child cry.

7:35 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

This just in…all posts are now italicized…and all orange bags are circumcized…film at 11…

7:36 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

Vin enjoys a refreshing Orange Julius after riding feet first atop a speeding Greyhound bus cross-country.

7:37 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

Edgar is just happy he survived sticking his head in the metal trash can right when the carrot bomb exploded.

7:38 am August, 5 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

He’s obviously Iraqi-Fijian.

7:38 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

He looks like he was just breech birthed out of a huge Oompa-Loompa twat.

7:39 am August, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Are his shoes white or does is he wearing incredibly white socks?

.

Maybe it’s the orange that makes them look so blindingly white. My brand new sheets aren’t that white. Hell, even my klan robes aren’t that white.

.

Oops.

7:42 am August, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Little known fact but Andy Dufresne was pretty damn orange when he squirted out of that sewer pipe.

.

Just saying.

.

In italics.

.

Without even trying.

7:42 am August, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

He’s clearly Moroccan-Tangarinian.

7:53 am August, 5 mr.reeve said...

Brothas acting like guidos and landing wholesome hots like Laura make me wanna pierce my ball sack with a pitch fork.

7:56 am August, 5 Medusa Oblongata said...

I found his birth certificate. His mother’s name is Orangina and his father’s name is Zevia. Apparently he’s South American. And a dippyfuck.

8:00 am August, 5 ehcuodouche said...

Oompa Loompa doopity doo

I’ve got another puzzle for you

Oompa Loompa doopity dee

If you are wise you’ll listen to me.

What do you get when you blow out your…hair

And sculpt your beard to that chin fung you…wear

Your face is so orange it looks like poo

What is a Bleeth to do?

Run away from gno-home-boy!

8:16 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

He looks like what would happen if Lindsey Buckingham got a pumpkin pregnant. Compare Edgar’s fey grin with his dad’s….
sdf
sdggd

8:19 am August, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This thing is as fucked up as a Frank Gehry building.

8:20 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

I can’t say why, but I am certain Stevie Nicks has hairy arms and a bush the size of a mid-sized thatched pygmy hut.

8:21 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

@ Rev. Chad Kroeger:

.

I actually met Frank Gehry yesterday. He stole my umbrella. True story.

.

No, dammit. REALLY.

8:21 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

If it were a lie, would it be in italics?

8:21 am August, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Michael Jackson’s son Prince Orange the Pooge.

8:27 am August, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Someone peed in Frank Gehry once.

8:31 am August, 5 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Wait…is that Edgar Allen Poo, the famous author?

8:34 am August, 5 Wheezer said...

He should try reading this.

8:34 am August, 5 massengill said...

Wholesome Laura is the same girl called Josslyn below. Same bangs and chin.

8:38 am August, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Edgar wanted to share his favorite treat with us:

.

8:39 am August, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I like how you have to smack it down really hard to get a piece.

.

.

.

You know I’m talking about the Chocolate Orange and not the Orange Chocolate, right?

8:41 am August, 5 massengill said...

What up with the italics?

8:44 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

Frank Gehry is the only architect ever featured in an episode on the Simpsons.

.

Eat it, Frank Lloyd Wright, Lou Khan, Imhotep, Le Corbusier, et al.

8:46 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

@ Massengill: The site just up and went gay. Or, The Boss forgot to close his html code. Either way, I’m goin’ widdit.
.
Wait, what happened….

8:47 am August, 5 Mr. Biggs said...

Yeah I’ll go with gnome. Hobbit would be demeaning to the LoTR fanboys.

8:48 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

I’m going with smoking Hobbit.

.

.

.

It’s about time we kicked that Nasty Smoking Hobbit.

.

.

.

.

sorry.

8:52 am August, 5 Rum, Sodomy and The Douche said...

This thing is as fucked up as a vagina on a Pepsi machine.

8:52 am August, 5 doucheywallnuts said...

Could he be a lost member of the Joey Porche tribe? The resemblance is uncanny…and nauseating.

8:53 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

This thing is as fucked up as a fiberglass butt plug.

8:53 am August, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Nasty Smoking Hobbit

.

Aaaaagh!

8:56 am August, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@docucheywalnuts^

.

Times are tough at the Joey Porche house so they picked up a foreign exchange student just for the cash.

.

Edgar’s most definitely Pumpkanistani.

8:57 am August, 5 HTML Ital closing tag said...

You’re not the boss of me, bitches. I’m on vacation today.

8:59 am August, 5 jonezy said...
9:01 am August, 5 jonezy said...

and the password isss………

.

.

.

.

.

Orange.

9:01 am August, 5 chaserofthehott said...

He looks like one of those troll dolls.

9:02 am August, 5 jonezy said...

EDGAR?

9:14 am August, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

On sale now at your local Chevron…

9:22 am August, 5 ehcuodouche said...

let’s see….

Worked?

9:23 am August, 5 ehcuodouche said...

Testing 1-2-3

Try again…

Testing 1-2-3

9:24 am August, 5 ehcuodouche said...

Nope…DB1 is gonna have to remove that odd italics tag…

9:49 am August, 5 Anonymous said...

he sis definetly not black… he is spanish or indian

10:04 am August, 5 The 'Bag Piper fae Edinburgh said...

It’s been a long hard upward struggle for Dileep Rao, from his ‘Bag days to glories like Inception and Drag Me To Hell… kudos to Nolan & Raimi for believing in his true talent.

Meanwhile, here in my home city, the annual Festival is now in full swing, and that means only two things – a deluge of Eurocrust, and (even more) Aussiebag infestation (than usual). Spare a thought for those of us who have to live and work here. And the Festival Hotts are always an epic letdown.

10:04 am August, 5 MILLS said...

acutally he doesnt look quite so queasily queer here, and the pose with the girl suggests hes possibly at least bi… or jus one of those gay guys tht enjoys the company of good looking girls and despite being a hardcore homo flirts with them. which iv never quite understood, Also for the record this guy is much worse than joey porsche at least there wasnt as big a doubt over j.p’s sexuality or ethnicity despite the fact he was jewish but pretended to b italian. but cant blame him evrybody knows girls only get with jews for their money and because they have a penchant for circumsised dicks…psyche

10:10 am August, 5 Captain Garanichode said...

I still say Lisa Bonet in a windtunnel

10:25 am August, 5 anon said...

Testing

11:51 am August, 5 Dex said...

I blame the Middle East. This guy is the James Bond of al-Qaeda.

11:56 am August, 5 doucheywallnuts said...

He’s the star of the new Bollywood movie, Slum-douche Millionaire.

12:01 pm August, 5 douchebag1 said...

Fixed the italics thing. I blame Brothabag Edgar’s slanted perception of reality. Or something. Back to drinking.

.

– management.

12:55 pm August, 5 Bilbo T Baggins said...

They finnally found my long lost brother!

2:14 pm August, 5 Jimmy said...

Definitely an Orange M&M. Orange on the outside, brown on the inside.

Which I guess would make the orange white people circus peanuts

4:13 pm August, 5 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I’m with Scrotato Head, Moroccan-Tangerinian he is.

But he also reminds me of that blooming onion I had last night at the Outback. Scorched.

7:37 pm August, 5 Steve L. said...

do we really want to piss off gnomes? they can blow you up with a fireball, you know. because, according to Dungeons & Dragons, gnomes are naturally talented at magic. that, or they can invent some crazy machine to horribly mutilate anyone who dares associate them with BB Edgar. because World of Warcraft says so.

I HAVE BUT ONE LIFE TO GIVE FOR NERDY REFERENCES.

9:27 pm August, 5 Stephanie said...

Orange french tickler head…guys like him cry when you punch them.

12:14 am August, 6 skrag2112 said...

He is the royal heir to the throne of the pumpkin people.

8:31 am August, 6 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Massengill ^8:34

.

Ha! You said “bangs and chins”.

8:46 am August, 6 Captain Lame said...

Sistabag?

8:47 am August, 6 Captain Lame said...

I used to think Carrot Top was the scariest Orange thing out there, looks like you’ve been trumped Carrot Top. Now you truly have no redeeming quality whatsoever…

Leave a Reply

What is 15 + 13 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)