Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Caption This Pic

“No Suzanne, I said, ‘Blymy!”

# posted by douchebag1
1:42 pm August, 3 wonderdouche twin said...

Bleath Pear?

1:44 pm August, 3 Eliza Douchecoo said...

With only her ear hole left to infect, Mitch decided to go for it, with his penis size it should be a good fit.

1:49 pm August, 3 Eliza Douchecoo said...

….nice pear though

1:52 pm August, 3 Captain Lame said...

“HOLY HELL! Look at your wrist Christina! YOU’VE got a purple wristband, and IVE got a purple wristband!”

“Ohmagod! your right! We TOTALLY match!”

Word.

2:02 pm August, 3 Sir David Douchenborough said...

Ugh, I do hate it when choads decide to add cigarillos to their douchessories. Gawd, now I am going to feel dirty every time I buy Panthers or Captain Blacks.

“Cherise, stop it! DIdn’t you know I had it waxed this morning!”

2:18 pm August, 3 jonezy said...

Hungry Hungry Bleethoo, the newest game from HasBRO!

2:19 pm August, 3 scrotum pole said...

Christina could not contain her laughter when “Shorty’s” penis size lived up to his nickname.

2:25 pm August, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

And she thought the peanuts they gave as snacks on the flight were small…

2:25 pm August, 3 Dr. Joycelyn Elders said...

I wants to massabate.

2:25 pm August, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So would he give a tea leaving instead of a tea bagging?

2:28 pm August, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Uh, Brad I can rid of that birth defect with just one bite. Watch!”

2:46 pm August, 3 douche bagel said...

when bleeths attack

2:47 pm August, 3 douche bagel said...

chad wants a blumpie but settles for a blymy

2:48 pm August, 3 The Douche of York said...

Reading downwards:

“If you can read this tattoo you are too close to ass pear.”

2:56 pm August, 3 DarkSock said...

Pulse Check: Your doing it wrong.

2:56 pm August, 3 DarkSock said...

Semi-Nude Fart Bowling: The Newest Rage!

2:57 pm August, 3 Bagnonymous said...

“Shark Week® takes a disastrous turn in the year 2029 when the sharks learn how to morph into land dwellers, disguising themselves as bleethy hags in the desert oasis of Las Vegas.”

2:57 pm August, 3 DarkSock said...

And now, we present the most elaborate Human Piss Fountain display ever, in 3…2…1…

3:00 pm August, 3 Douche Boyardee's Cheese and Bagaroni said...

Suzanne realized it was not the best location to have her study cards from the first year of med school when she needed to refresh her memory and perform an emergency appendectomy with no one else around.

3:05 pm August, 3 Douche Boyardee's Cheese and Bagaroni said...

I don’t think this is what Master P meant when he said Make’em Say UGH he is happy he can dunk on those 8 foot high rims..

3:09 pm August, 3 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Cynthia screams in agony after Fung Dung Scrote immortilizes his love for Old English in all-caps and the name of his favorite Creed song, by branding them forever into her back with his Salem menthol he stole from his mom’s purse earlier that day…

3:12 pm August, 3 Captain Lame said...

“I swear to Gawd Christina get off my side of the couch or I’ll judo chop your ass!”

“No Steve, get off MY side of the couch or I’ll judo chomp something of yours!”

3:16 pm August, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Brad get the fucck outta here! Why is it every time me and my sister want some privacy you always show up with a camera?”

3:20 pm August, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

OMFG! Are these two……*gasp* married? Her left hand appears to bear the rings. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! *tries to gouge eyes out with a stapler*

3:21 pm August, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Aw ma the wedding is over. We don’t need no pictures of the honeymoon!”

3:25 pm August, 3 Captain Garanichode said...

Douche and a pear!!! happy Days are here to stay!

3:26 pm August, 3 Captain Garanichode said...

“Tickle my what with a feather?”

3:34 pm August, 3 Turdacious said...

And for our japanese friends it also says ” I want Wood”

3:40 pm August, 3 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Overcome with a sudden asthma attack, Suzanne had NO idea Scott could blow exhale through his diddle hole, and Scott was soon to discover the effects of secondhand smoke on Suzanne’s porthole.

3:48 pm August, 3 douche bagel said...

the motel ran out of toothpicks so she uses chads penis to dislodge a chunk of leftover buffet shrimp she snuck down in her purse

3:55 pm August, 3 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Someone hand me a Sharpie, I’m gonna add to her tatts…

4:22 pm August, 3 Steve L. said...

THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.

ZOMBIFIED HOTTS/ BLEETHS ARE RUNNING AMOK LOOKING FOR CROTCHES TO BITE OFF, AS SHOWN IN THE ABOVE FOOTAGE.

4:33 pm August, 3 Turdacious said...

He thought he was big, She was not “biting” into his charade

4:33 pm August, 3 uscrascal said...

Suzanne and Scrotey McFly visit us from 2015, showing us that the next autodouche signifier is male pit shave reveal.

5:23 pm August, 3 Deltus said...

He forgot that a Dutch Oven works best if you have an actual blanket you can put over her head. Still, good trick, what with the farting in her face and all.

I know she’s complete bleeth, but I would still worship her ass. Christ, what a pear!

5:50 pm August, 3 Stephanie said...

Bite him like a shark and don’t let go.

6:12 pm August, 3 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

Maybe I’m losing by touch, but about the only name I could call this guy is ‘Lucky.’ My only hope is that instead of threatening to bite, sh’e laughing loudly at his micro-schlong.

6:42 pm August, 3 Dan said...

Ever hungry for vienna douche weiners, suzanne attempts to gnaw through Mikey McScrotes shorts for a quick finger food.

7:56 pm August, 3 Troy Tempest said...

So, she’s married to schmutzlicker here. In two years, she’ll get preggers and gain 25 lbs. Her pair will turn into a squarish boxy flesh blob. She will wear leggings and Hardy T shirts and crocks, and with a marlboro light dangling from her fingers, she’ll drag her boy (who’s a drooling tard suffering from fetal alcohol syndrome) to Walmart every Saturday for shopping.

So, laugh my little bleethy bint, laugh – yes laugh – for this is as good as your life will get.

8:39 pm August, 3 Morbo said...

To his horror, Joey McScrote awoke to find himself being attacked by an American Albino Bleethodile.

The creature, known by the scientific name Vegasias Whorus, is easily identified by blue and black markings on its back; round fleshy growths on its front; and, in this rare specimen, an extremely attractive ass. All of its attractive qualities, however, are simply a means to an end — they are designed to ensnare an unwitting human victim into its clutches. Once there, the human (usually a male) becomes infected with the virus “Doucheus Maximus” and feels compelled to spend large quantities of its wealth on overpriced booze and clothing in an attempt to mate with the Bleethodile.

The Bleethodile is considered an extremely dangerous creature. Caution is advised.

9:59 pm August, 3 creature said...

I’ll donk that creacthette^

10:02 pm August, 3 creature said...

Claudia is a human chalkboard used to teach adult male illiterates their ABC’s while engaged in activities that will encourage them to read

10:24 pm August, 3 creature said...

“Ray-Ray, I told you there would be trouble if you dipped it in BBQ sauce”

10:26 pm August, 3 creature said...

her ‘Spinal Tatt’ reads, “Grain hole cost extra!”

11:24 pm August, 3 Bruno said...

Photoshop him out and add her to the ass pear Friday lineup.

11:42 pm August, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

With one well placed judo chop between her shoulder blades, Ernesto was able to fire the pretzel rod out of Sandra’s rectum with sufficient force to kill the towel boy.

11:46 pm August, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

Too late, Suzanne realized that she’d left her self-respect back at the hotel.

11:48 pm August, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

“Check it out, bro. Her head comes off.”

11:51 pm August, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

Moving from her father’s shadow, Amber Zamfir mastered the pants flute instead.

.

.

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(cricket, cricket, cricket)

11:55 pm August, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

It was thoughtful of Suzanne to give her clients something to read.

11:58 pm August, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

Ernesto was tired of his vestigial twin getting all the play.

12:03 am August, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Long day of work followed by a dinner and several double Jack and Cokes. Followed that up by having several beers with coworkers, then met up with Steve L. for a couple more beers. He is one funny ass guy and is welcome at my table any day. Couple hours shooting the shit about HCwDB and whatever else came to mind. An evening well spent.

.

I imagine if I sat down at a bar with most if not all of your regs I would a similar experience. There are few places on the interwebs where people’s character and personality show through. I think this is one of those places. There’s a genuineness that you can identify with, even with all the over-the-top humor of each post. You read the threads and you can see what’s underneath.

.

Yeah, I really have been drinking a lot tonight and it’s been a long day. But I can honestly say I appreciate all you regs who frequent this red crushed velvet dive we call Hot Chicks with Douche Bags. You won’t find this level of humor and razor sharp cultural observation anywhere on else on the web.

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Tell me theres another place on the interwebs with people like Steve, Dicy, the Baron, Croosh, Mr. White, DarkSock, Franklyn DealorNo Douchefelt, creature, Vin Doucal, Doc Bunsen, scrotum pole, Troy Tempest, Massengill, or Bagnonymous, and I’ll call you a liar. This list of outstanding ‘baggers goes on and on. There is no other place like this; no other collection of nutcases like us. The is no community that comes close.

.

I miss Ashfish, and Sergeant Scrote Stain. And I sometimes wonder if Medusa is pissed at me because of the whole Francine thing and all that. I hope you aren’t because you’re one bad ass woman I’d like to call a friend.

.

So I’m mgoing to bed now. Someone tell Suzanne she needs to wipe back to front, not front to back. That way she won’t get shit all up her spine when she poos.

12:59 am August, 4 Baron Von Goolo said...

mmm-pssssshhyyYOU DOAN NO ME!

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Don’t kid yourself, Drinky McGee. If we were ever at a bar together, I’d stab you in the eye with a mozzarella stick and take your wallet.

.

In the meantime I’ll be filing your besotted musings under M for “maudlin sentimentality that leaves a coppery taste in my mouth” and forgetting that this ever happened.

2:19 am August, 4 Seriously Off-Topic Guy said...

“I hear you coming…”

2:23 am August, 4 Darksock said...

Q: Why did Suzanne’s hoop earring fly across the pool deck?

A: It got pissed off.

2:25 am August, 4 Darksock said...

“You’re right, Gary; I really CAN hear Lake Havasu!”

2:31 am August, 4 Darksock said...

As Suzanne and Gary lay there patiently waiting for the paramedics to arrive, they both pondered the hard lesson they’d just learned about earring/cockk ring entanglement.

2:34 am August, 4 Darksock said...

Todd Semanski: Inventor of The Donkey Slap.

2:40 am August, 4 Darksock said...

All the girls loved Gary’s new iCockk.

2:46 am August, 4 Darksock said...

Mary sighed in sweet relief as she sawed her cheek’s poison ivy rash back and forth across Gary’s 3-day old groin stubble.

2:48 am August, 4 Darksock said...

“Are you SURE drowning the earwigs is the only cure?”

4:46 am August, 4 Scroteophobic said...

The moment he realised it was supposed to be “pee in a horse”…

5:14 am August, 4 Webalot said...

I love it when harold or kumar get the girl, especially mid-joint

justice

5:14 am August, 4 Webalot said...

I love it when Harold gets the girl, especially mid-joint.

justice

5:35 am August, 4 Darksock said...

Ned’s 100% Organic Ear Piercing

5:37 am August, 4 Darksock said...

“Why does it smell like my Dad’s cockk down here?”

6:43 am August, 4 Eliza Douchecoo said...

I love the smell of pear in the morning.

6:55 am August, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

[Wipes eyes, spits out small pieces of monkey turds]

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Whoa. Room spinning. Dehydrated. Left eye won’t focus.

.

I didn’t post anything I’d regret las…

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Aw crap.

.

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By community I meant wretched hive of scum and villiany.

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‘Scuse me while I go vomit.

7:12 am August, 4 melvil duchi said...

no more yanky my wanky, the donger needs food

7:49 am August, 4 Doucherama said...

Britney Spears spends some quality time with the kids poolside with her new beau, Vegas club promoter, Bobby “Revolting” Sandos. “He’s great with the kids” said a close friend.

8:36 am August, 4 Disconnected said...

Steve had taken the lesson from South Park to heart and kept his junk guarded. American Girls are dangerous and this one even had a warning label on the back.

10:28 am August, 4 Just Me said...

Jeez Chad, this is not what I expected when you said you’de skull fuck me.

Will you get me a damn Q-tip now?

1:36 pm August, 4 Douche de Leche said...

Nice pear with major bleeth infection. Sir Douche-A-Lot needs to drop the mandana and guido glasses to have a chance at non fictional head.

12:05 am August, 5 mr.reeve said...

My God that ass!

My God those ears!!

4:12 pm August, 5 Donald from Hawaii said...

“Ow! Dammit, why don’t you watch where you wave that cigarette, you douchebag!”

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