Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Suburban Gangsta Darren Says “Check My Chin Pubes, Dawg!”

Because, yo, his tracks is about to break, dog!! Just two thousand more hits on iTunes and it’ll be all off the shizz!! He’s talkin’ poppin’ bottles with Paris at the Palms n shint!!

Meanwhile, Carly might have scary Long Island crazy eyes, but her twin globes beckon with the pale cleavite of eternal sustenance.

# posted by douchebag1
1:18 pm August, 31 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

nice wife beater. da club must have a lax dress code.

1:41 pm August, 31 jonezy said...

I’ll give Darren this- doesn’t look like he’s at all committed to hitting the gym. In fact, I think his pecs might be inverted.

1:49 pm August, 31 Vin Douchal said...

Actually, Darren is on billboards advertising the lap band weight loss system. He’s doing great.
.
Here’s his before photo

1:51 pm August, 31 douche bagel said...

darren and his lil trex arms are about as threatening as this guy http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_PuZoLkvmBbc/Sdz9g6UhQYI/AAAAAAAADQs/TKmUTYpVYws/s320/Rex.jpg

2:01 pm August, 31 the Success Ladder said...

This is a very interesting point of view. Your blog is refreshing, but I wish I could find more man-cockk, though. I am looking forward to spamming more at you. Keep up the good work. I smell of ham!

2:13 pm August, 31 Sack O Douche said...

^You know what’s not refreshing? Your dumb facken website! Fack you, Success Ladder!

Darren needs to not wear a wife beater in public. Carly needs to not wear so much eye make up and wear less cloths.

2:14 pm August, 31 massengill said...

The woman in the picture that I posted in a previous thread is Denise Milani.

2:15 pm August, 31 massengill said...

I don’t exactly follow the Weird Science philosophy of breast size, but for crying out loud!

2:19 pm August, 31 DarkSock said...

As Wanda pushed the last Preparation H suppository into his navel, Lance began to think that perhaps they were doing it wrong.

2:20 pm August, 31 DarkSock said...

“Yes, I can actually feel some of the gerbils still writhing…”

2:20 pm August, 31 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Darren always gets his groove on after he sells another Kirby for $2500.00 yo.

2:23 pm August, 31 jonezy said...

@massengill:
.
I believe there is a strong corollary with this equation

2:37 pm August, 31 Blinded by the Shite said...

In Soviet Russia douche groups you.

2:38 pm August, 31 Blinded by the Shite said...

^Groups??! What the fuck is wrong with you?!

2:39 pm August, 31 Wedgie said...

Darren works at The Success Ladder. Doesn’t look like it’s working very well, but WTF do I know? BTW, is it just me, or are her arms a little bigger than his?

2:40 pm August, 31 Wedgie said...

Just a follow up thought, but your blog is indeed refreshing. And I, too, encourage you all to keep up the good work.
Skewering choads, that is.

3:05 pm August, 31 Dr. Richard Goesinyou said...

Carly may have a glass left eye. It would appear that pencildick on the left missed her nose and jammed it in her fuccen eye. I’d bang her though, she prolly knows how to throw a real good one.

3:05 pm August, 31 Dr. Richard Goesinyou said...

Fuck your mouth Success Ladder.

3:13 pm August, 31 Fatness said...

Meanwhile on the upper right, Randy (in white) tries to guess how many fingers Frank the Fister has up.

3:14 pm August, 31 Deltus said...

Carly is very, very doable, but she’s no Denise Milani. Thanks, Massengill, my rest of the night will be filled. And by filled I mean… well, you know what I mean. huhhhh-UUUUHHHHNNN.

3:15 pm August, 31 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Success Ladder Dude and the Gangster have a hip to waste ratio of 0.7. I didn’t mistype waste.

3:19 pm August, 31 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^

On second thought and after looking at what they are(n’t), fuck off Success Ladder you spamming coccksuckers.

3:20 pm August, 31 DarkSock said...

“This is where my jelly dong went.”

3:21 pm August, 31 DarkSock said...

They both just recently started shaving.

3:23 pm August, 31 DarkSock said...

^ I’ve merrily tossed Success Ladder spams into the trash about 200 times so far while making my rounds as hall monitor, but I’ll leave this one so posterity will know WTF you guys are talking about above.

3:36 pm August, 31 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think we may be witnessing the first (and largely unsuccessful) douchercism. What gives it away is the red eyes. I need an old douche and a young douche! The power of douche compels you! The power of douche compels you!

3:39 pm August, 31 Captain Garanichode said...

She’s about to gut and field dress that swine!

3:39 pm August, 31 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The guy in the back right is trying to figure out the answer to the question “If a douche gives birth to gerbils in a nightclub by sharting, is it OK to kill them using a lighter and a can of AXE?”

4:09 pm August, 31 massengill said...

That’s Carlos, the Colombian vampire.

4:14 pm August, 31 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Troy and Mr.Reeve

Thanks for bracketing my high school years with the two worst songs of the last millenium in the Abba kareoke thread.

4:21 pm August, 31 Southern Scrotic said...

That Milani chick has large breasts.

4:52 pm August, 31 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

As someone with freakishly small wrists I wont mock him for that. For I too am unable to wear watches.
.

6:24 pm August, 31 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Jonezy 2:23
I have such a hard time believing that labs actually get perfectly good grant money to do this kind of research. Fuck cancer, fuck SIDS, fuck the effects of fluoride and BPA…let’s see what dudes like….hm….small waists and a nice hourglass figure. FUCKING DUH. Can I have 30 grand for research? I wanna find out what pair of shoes looks best on me. No, wait, I wanna find out which is better, waffles or pancakes. No, wait, I wanna see if my dog can shit more than 15 ounces in one time. As long as we’re doing stupid asshole research, let’s go all out. How many gallons of pee can a horse’s butt accept? Dr. DarkSock, to the field laboratory….

7:35 pm August, 31 DarkSock said...

3.89 liters (average among all species, fully mature…male & female…1.2 liters for ponies)

7:36 pm August, 31 DarkSock said...

I should clarify…through fresh abdominal stab wounds.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
What?

9:26 pm August, 31 Steve L. said...

Carly’s cheeks are more… er… um… masculine than Darren’s.

9:59 pm August, 31 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

You know, the chin pubes are “there,” but the shoulder tribal tatts are so popular now, that street painting crews are making one-way flow traffic markers using the tatts as a pattern whenever their “owners” walk by the workmen.

And for the record, the workmen still whistle at hotts like Carly.

3:28 am September, 1 tall guy said...

Agreed. Shoulder tatts are very popular here as well. I know we’re all aware of it, but it’s worth reminding each other exactly how universally prolific the taint of bag is becoming. This boney bag deserves a slap. I wonder if his hair grease is inflammable? failing that, there’s a certain joy in the knowledge that he’ll probably be bald as an egg within 10 years. I don’t mind cock-eye. She’s alright.

3:42 am September, 1 Spitzerswallows said...

isnt that the girl former NY gov. Elliot Spitzer paid 3k an hour to fuck? Wow Mr. Guv how does it feel to have been inside the same woman as this gangsta.

6:54 am September, 1 Deltus said...

Is that whatsherface from the Elliot Spitzer thing? I’m not sure. I mean, her and the hott pictured above are both quite doable, but I don’t know if they’re the same hott. Dupree! It’s Something-something Dupree! I think, anyway. Too lazy to Google it.

8:15 am September, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Medusa
.
You need to think MUCH bigger about the money you want. Start small (maybe $1.5 million) publish a bit first and then score that monster grant ($5-10 million). These are the things usually funded for “sciences” that end in -ology e.g. sociology. Many more things don’t get funded because “everybody is looking at this” or it’s not sexy at the moment. Let me know about that waffles vs pancakes studies. I’m kinda hungry right now.

7:03 am September, 2 Tony Ventresca said...

Ashley Dupre was Spitzer’s ho. Some good pics of her on the beach, she’s in pretty good shape. Unfortunately her face reminds me of one of my (male) friends from high school, which can be a bit confusing for me (she’s hot, but that face reminds me of…). Her mother is actually hotter than her.

Leave a Reply

What is 14 + 6 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)