Sunday, August 29, 2010

Douchebags Discover iMovie, Make a Video

The legendary director Francis Ford Coppola once famously and utopically predicted the following:

“Suddenly one day some little fat girl in Ohio is going to be the new Mozart… and make a beautiful film with her father’s little camera-corder, and for once this whole professionalism about movies will be destroyed forever and it will become an art form.”

– Francis Ford Coppola

Coppola’s dream was that with the lowering of the many barriers to entry for film making (high costs, film stock), new talent would emerge in unexpected places, creating a meritocracy of art, instead of a hierarchy.

Today, we have YouTube. And douchebags.

And that little fat girl just hung herself.

# posted by douchebag1
9:20 am August, 29 Anonymous said...

Ow. Ow. Owww.

9:22 am August, 29 Douchble Helix said...

I watched the whole thing. With the sound.

I used to feel bad that we’re ruining this country and the world, and that we’re leaving a big shit mess for the next generation.

I don’t give a shit about that any more.

Get some!

9:32 am August, 29 fatness said...

Two observations:
.
1) If this is indeed done by Mizzou students, there is your proof that lily-white corn-fed Midwestern kids can be as douchey (and stupid) as the coasties.
.
2) All Macs should be burned for enabling this crap.

9:39 am August, 29 DarkSock said...

My favorite line from Coppola’s epic “A Douchy-Lips Now”:
The whorer…the whorer…….
dsfasd

9:41 am August, 29 Battlescrote Galactica said...

The little fat girl is in a better place… Away from Goone and his minions, but he has to answer to his mom now for the $1500 charge on her credit card for the HD video camera and clown clothes… A river of tears rolls down the cheek of baby Jesus this holy Sabbath in the wake of such blasphemy!

9:46 am August, 29 Torque MuleBrow said...

This is what happens when you let farmers go to school. They need to be forced back into planting corn and shit. I gotta eat.

9:47 am August, 29 IT MUST EAT GRAIN said...

YES WHY ARE THEY NOT PLANTING CORN BARLEY AND WHEAT CROPS

9:53 am August, 29 DarkSock said...

Please tell me that the little fat girl that hung herself was named Snooki….

9:56 am August, 29 DarkSock said...

I don’t get why Snooki is considered “hot”; here she is without her make up on:
argrr

10:00 am August, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And lo the prophecy has been fulfilled.

Leviticus warned of the day when religion and science would become one. The day when the world would know why God is a vengeful god. The day when all miseries past, present, and future would became clear in their reason. The day I realized why God made me pass that terrible kidney stone while having a shit this morning.

It was this crap.

10:02 am August, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^
Doppleganger.

I must go and get my drink on with Mrs. Kroeger. She is tanning her fat ass by the pool so I am putting SPF Infinity on my eyes.,

10:03 am August, 29 Ed Hardouche said...

another sunday morning ruined by the immediate chore of cleaning up the barf that now covers every room of my house.

10:07 am August, 29 Jacques Doucheteau said...

It sounds like the Autotune effect imploded under the sheer weight of its own shame and self-loathing.

10:21 am August, 29 douches wild said...

Grandiloquent. Bombastic. Puerile, Cretinous. Loutish. Preening. Delusional. Irredeemable. Sub-standard. Pre-pubescent. Repellant. Simian. Juvenile. Fetid. Odious. Squalid. Infantile. Churlish. Knavery. Suffocating. A massive skid-mark in the pants of civilization. I have spoken.

10:22 am August, 29 dblpits2teste said...

Reminds me of the Dick Slang video.

10:23 am August, 29 Eliza Douchecoo said...

sweet! I just downloaded this to my ipod. thanks!

10:30 am August, 29 Et Tu Douche? said...

“Sex so sick, West Nile that pussy” WTF???.
.
I’ve been in a pensive mood these days and seeing this makes me weep inside. The viral strain is spreading rapidly and I’m coming to the realization that we are losing ground in eradicating this blight on society. I will mock on with my fellow bag hunters & huntress’s but alas I feel we are fighting futile battle. I hate to say this but I would of preferred a Sunday Frolic video to this at least I would of got a little chuckle out of it.

11:02 am August, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Can’t say it’s any worse than the first generation of shitty videos from early 80’s MTV.
.
But it still sucks puss from donkey balls

11:13 am August, 29 wonderdouche twin said...

T-Pain needs to find these guys and beat the shit out of them for us.

11:45 am August, 29 DarkSock said...

And then kill himself.

11:49 am August, 29 soy bomb said...

I wish I could switch places with that little fat girl.

11:59 am August, 29 tall guy said...

Blondie with the hoop ear rings (or stirrups) appears to be their major talent. Nice going, knobwrenches, but here’s the thing: she’s major bleeth.
Also, @ DarkSock is that image at 9:56 Soupy Sales?

12:05 pm August, 29 Teddy Tendergass said...

Unfortunately, that little fat girl grew up to be Plinky’s mom…

12:07 pm August, 29 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Good Lord ! What total crap. I’m sure the parent of every kid in that video is questioning why they sent their child to college.

12:21 pm August, 29 Meloncholy said...

I now feel the need to tear up my Mizzou Diplomas. It may be my hangover, but I feel ill.

12:45 pm August, 29 Wedgie said...

Just the sort of guy one hopes his daughter brings home. Let’s just hope her brother is Leatherface.

Want some head cheese?

12:59 pm August, 29 Troy Tempest said...

They are laughing. Laughing into 1939.

1:20 pm August, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

T-Pain rules the autotuner yo. Wassup? I need another Bloody Mary now that Dark Sock is off his menstruation jag.

2:14 pm August, 29 wonderdouche twin said...

This is my only exposure to T-Pain
.
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU

2:29 pm August, 29 End the Haberdouchery said...

I would rather have spent the entire summer following Justin Bieber on tour than have watched more than ten seconds of that video.

3:04 pm August, 29 boatbutter said...

I’m embarrassed for my state, but these inbred scro-drags are clearly from the bootheel.

I’ve long proposed selling the bootheel to Arkansas to increase the average IQ of both states.

3:16 pm August, 29 Steve L. said...

if this video is enough to make boatbutter come back, i better not watch it in its entirety.

3:23 pm August, 29 Mr. Biggs said...

Francis Ford Coppolla is the first thing wrong with that statement. Movies like this mak me wonder if it wouldn’t be better if only a minoriylty of the population was literate.

3:26 pm August, 29 Eliza Douchecoo said...

After listening to this song about 100 times, I have to say the song writing is epic, especially the lines about pussy, people don’t write songs like that anymore, this ranks up there with Stairway to Heaven for me.

3:53 pm August, 29 dbBen said...

I feel hatred in my heart.

4:08 pm August, 29 Douche Jaw said...

I see a darkness

4:17 pm August, 29 Anonymous said...

ENOUGH. Stop it. I cry uncle. I refuse to believe that any girl finds this remotely attractive.

4:30 pm August, 29 mr.reeve said...

White chicks with no rhythm and white boys trying to be nasty. It’s a white, Mid-West & less talented version of The 2 Live Crew. Me So Phony!

4:33 pm August, 29 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

He’s a lyrical poet that one. We are pilgrims in an unholy land.

4:43 pm August, 29 Mr. White said...

@darksock
You know, DB1 has never revealed the identity of HC1, and he was the one to “discover” Snooki….
.
HC1 = Snooki? I mean, hey, I don’t judge. I, too, have often longed to tenderly make love to a basketball with breast implants superglued to to it.

4:44 pm August, 29 soy bomb said...

I wish every song was this song.

6:01 pm August, 29 V for Valtrex said...

The bee girl in the Blind Melon video was better.

6:15 pm August, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

Serious question: Did Francis Ford Coppola really say that? I’m serious. And if he did, that goes up there with the other freakishly prophetic statements of modern time, right next to Andy Warhol’s 15 minutes remark.
.
Having woken up on the far end of too many rowdy, drunken fucks, I have to say that those two girls in the beginning are rather well-made for supposedly having been violently plowed and then passing out in full makeup. These kids have no idea what it’s like to wake up sandwiched between two strangers. Eveyrone looks like corpses dredged from a river and the smell is pretty similar as well. I hate everyone involved in this piece of crap. I second Double Helix @ 9:22. I’m gonna stop recycling and start voting for national socialists ASAP.

6:31 pm August, 29 italian douche said...

Well Francis Ford didn’t realize that the fat girl from Ohio makes CRAP. Meritocracy? Where?

Everyone can make a movie today, still there hasn’t been so much shit and so little masterpieces.

None of these were made by a fat girl in Ohio, nor douchebags like those.

Good movies are made by good filmakers.

Coppola is obviously and rightly and elitist. He said that just to compensate and not look TOO snobby. Probably he had this kind of thought in his head after several accusations of being aloof.

And then he procreated the ultra-sophisticated Coppola, who makes “art” (well…pretty good stuff if not art) out of nothing. She’s the ultimate elitist and snobbis director for the masses. I underline for the masses…there are unknown filmakers copletely unaccessible to them.

Democracy can never be meritocracy. Monarchy is much closer to a meritocracy even though it’s not perfect.

We’re still looking for a perfect system if there is any.

But democracy, has failed and produced douchebags. There were no douches in the middleages, remember.

Or better: you as a vassall would have never heard of them and never gone to school with them. And that would have been excellent for everybody’s health.

Casts, subdivision, differences, snobbery, respecting others while not agreeing with others, and end of the farse that we’re all “equal”, which is not true: this is my proposal for a more balanced world.

6:35 pm August, 29 italian douche said...

ps: by Soffia Coppola making art out of nothing, I don’t refer to Marie Antoniette…rather to stuff like Lost in Translation which basically has no story, and is based upon emotions and silences. It takes some skill to do that.

7:59 pm August, 29 Mr. Biggs said...

Once upon a time black men used to get lynched for thinking about women like this. I imagine they’d prefer that to seeing videos like this.

9:41 pm August, 29 creature said...

judging by the “hott” talent, they must drink alot before they hump at Mizzou

9:45 pm August, 29 08ArmyDoc said...

Small Bangladeshi children die every time this video is played

10:44 pm August, 29 Crocodile Dun Douche said...

Theres about 5 seconds of green at the end of this… by far the most entertaining part of the whole thing.

I mean what can you say… perfect example of why HCWDB is so important.

6:36 am August, 30 DarkSock said...

…anybody gonna do anything with that dangling fat girl? Just askin’…before Baron Von Goolo calls dibs again.

10:01 am August, 30 skrag2112 said...

I was recently in Columbia, MO where Mizzou is cleaning off campus student apartments. The guys who clean up after nuclear accidents have it easier. Haven’t college students ever seen or heard of soap, or dustrags, or a fucking mop? These places were pigsties. No wait, pigs have higher standards.

10:56 am August, 30 Choadthedouchesprocket said...

After watching the entire video, I am left with two questions:
1) What do these guys want to do with girls? and
2) What college are they going to?

7:26 pm August, 30 Dicy said...

That just happened.

9:29 pm August, 30 Levi said...

If these guys are going to college with hopes of getting a job, they just ruined any chance of that with this unfunny budget video.

6:09 pm August, 31 Anonymous said...

lol they switched up like 8 words in the song and still made it sound terrible…sweet autotune fags

9:33 pm August, 31 Zippety Douche Da said...

Oh Mizzou, you are the Douchebag of universities. Never have I been prouder to be a Jayhawk…in this instance, merely for being the anti-thesis of Mizzou. (thousands of Mizzou graduates are googling “anti-thesis definition” right now)

6:00 am September, 1 JohnDouchePassos said...

I really wish I could do something about this, somehow stop it before it even got started. Clearly I’m too late. We’re all too late.

12:24 pm September, 1 Anonymous said...

Only one of these fags even goes to mizzou, or at least he used to he didnt graduate.

9:45 pm September, 5 lucious lupus john said...

awesome db1, just f’n awesome!

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