Friday, August 20, 2010
Friday Haiku
In Vegas, the beast,
Lucifer’s epiphany:
Just another douche.
Fawk red hair
Fawk devil’s horns
Ming Li wants sushi
— mr.reeve
Rehab Anti-Christ
heard Jebus won a Monthly;
answers the challenge.
— Wheezer
While the Old Bag slept
His friends dyed hair with Kool-Aid
He thought it was rad
— Mr. White
The “Biker Rabbi”
Drives his Hog from shul to shul
Free circumscisions
— Vin Douchal
I never wanted
To ever have a real job
My plan is working.
— Wedgie
Damn, Satan sharted.
Forty-three is the new…douche.
Lucifer don’t wipe.
–Amerigo Vesdouchey
So apparently
Satan’s drink of choice is gin
from water bottle.
— Bag Margera
Slayer: Hell Awaits…..
Was this what Kerry King and
the boys had in mind?
My Eyes!, I can’t feel my Eyes!!!
Mephistopheles
steals souls because it’s clear he
has none of his own.
Fawk red hair
Fawk devil’s horns
Ming Li wants sushi
Someone on rooftop
Has aimed magnify glass to
her chest. Aim! Focus!!
Oldbag at Rehab
Wants to party like a youngster
All he got was crabs
Ninth Circle of Hell –
What happens there stays there for
all eternity…..
Missed red horns first time.
Has he styled pubes to brown turds?
What an ‘effin choad!
Twisted Fire Starter guy
Still loves Prodigy a lot
Where’s the glow sticks?
Rehab Anti-Christ
heard Jebus won a Monthly;
answers the challenge.
Last tat on his arm
Looks like ginormous watch dial?
Time to drown himself?
Hellish GSR
not hidden by bad tatts, low
pants, nor dignity.
Faux not Fawk retard. Give me another coffee
Wheezer comes out hot!
Jebus tie is excellent!
Blew milk out my nose!
One thing is certain:
Fire, brimstone odors nothing
next to Axe and poo.
Heat Miser grows beard
sports tatts, for movie remake…
“Douche without a Hott”
While the Old Bag slept
His friends dyed hair with Kool-Aid
He thought it was rad
Pink chin pubs
Look like a duster
I smell Aqua Velva
Ah, yes–Vegas turds.
If not for that wretched place,
where would this site be?
Reliving childhood
Mortimer will not let go
Been a douche since birth
Advice for the young:
Never want to work again?
Get tatts like this guy.
She signed a contract
to model; didn’t quite read
all the conditions.
What possible job
Could this smelly asshat have
Busboy for prison
Transmission fluid
for a hair gel substitute
Leaves telltale traces.
Tammy never knew
666 is Number Two
I earn maiden points
His three-pointed star
Guides the way for all douchebags
Coming to Vegas
The “Biker Rabbi”
Drives his Hog from shul to shul
Free circumscisions
“New Geography”:
The Bermuda Triangle
extends to Vegas.
I never wanted
To ever have a real job
My plan is working.
The greasy trainwreck
Tries to distract attention
From his Ken Doll crotch
Carny convention
Forces Hard Rock Casino
Pool be drained nightly
Mila’s period
catches cunnilingus Joe
by complete surprise.
Vegas: Abandon
hope, all ye who enter here,
for ’tis fouled by scrote
Rose colored glasses
He sees “cool” in the mirror
The world sees bulls eye
He would look better
frying in a lake of fire
impaled on pitchfork.
“Black Donald’s” day off
Unfortunately gives a
view of hell on earth.
If I ever take
A wrong turn and end up here
Stab myself in neck
Tatt’s tell a story:
Steve Miller Band burning in
hell and loving it.
Pink hair, pink chin
pierced ears, bad tatts
The Oldbags a turd bomb
Reflective lenses:
newest douche accessory.
She’s a butterhead.
Thai Anne Hathaway
stars in a rotten sequel:
Devil Wears Nada
So apparently
Satan’s drink of choice is gin
from water bottle.
All birds should take note,
That death comes from douche hair spikes,
Stay clear of Vegas.
Fitz doesn’t quite get
Witness Protection Program
Philly mob on way
He’s known as “Ol’ Scratch”
because he will infect you
with itchy rash, crabs.
Regan McNeil
is Asian? Huh! She should turn
her head, walk away.
Damn, Satan sharted.
Forty-three is the new…douche.
Lucifer don’t wipe.
.
Mexican?Asian?
Blast shields keeping that secret.
Don’t care, hott is hott.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
Raymond’s calm belies
Big axe cleaving hair and skull
“Time’s Up” should be now.
Scrotes’ new hairstyle
pays homage to Pontiac
hit him with Grand Prix
Why the red points, Dave?
Trying to look like a Princess?
Medieval Douche, now!
Peter Fonda as
“Sleazy Ghost Rider“; his version
taps wrong Johnny Blaze
.
Same idea, though:
souls easily surrendered,
but for worthless cause.
This is the result
of Satan taking a dump
after Vegas binge
When I saw this pic,
first reaction was laughter.
Now I’m just weeping.
Is he drinking straight
vodka? Where’s the matches or
cyanide when needed?
(DOH! 6 on end, but I gotta run it!)
Every tat tells a
story? So what’s with club foot
lady at his waist?
Baldbag denial
Chi-Hott needs Disinfectant
Run Douchey Run Deep
His body tapers
at the waist; maybe Satan
really has goat legs?
Where is the chopper
Dropping white phosphorous when
You need it the most?
A Mail Order Bride
She hates her Daddy
Standing by Satan’s Side
Her taint is nice…
Red satellite dish;
even Satan wants lots of channels,
prob’ly for gay porn.
Shames Hetfield mourns days
When Buttalica took album
Load literally.
Beelzebub mocks you.
Satan doesn’t use a straw,
like a little bitch.
Too late for haiku.
Can’t get front page anyway,
Can’t bring the funny.
leftover urine sample
thrown on demonchild
red means not pregnant
Devil meets angel
wing begonias in hair
battle. Flowers lose.
Of all the vodkas
in the world, cheap-ass Satan
decides absolute.
More than one humming-
bird has fallen victim to
this red attractant.
Raised by Breton wo-
men who beat the devil out
of him, Guy fled home.
Oldbag’s need to dip
pigtails in ink still plays out
in dipt’ red ink beard.
There are cougars, and
then there are lynx with old goat
beards. Red light: BEWARE!
What’s new, pussycat?
Red ears, a cat-got-yer-tongue-
tie-dyed beard, Pussy…
All the other douche-
cats fled the scene when Red Cat
strolled in and sprayed up.
Dad’s mid-life crisis –
Not going so well, it seems.
Weird angel on abs.
sammy loves truck flap art
goes with tats
cant drive 55
Dyed hair fake punk
zeroing in on 50
Ming just laughs
New teaching schedule
means no chance at the front page.
Stupid semester.
That’s one crazy chick
One day she’ll make his life hell
So there is justice
missed the friday scene,
really fucked off with myself,
a real n00b mistake
Ah, the bi-polar!
Rears it’s ugly head again.
This time, drenched in blood.
Light fingers No Lai,
Deftly steals his credit cards,
He’s too trashed to know.
Douche shows disrespect,
To ubiquitous red cup.
D’rather suck on straw.
he needs a pitchfork.
no. i need a pitchfork. to
ram through his stomach.
The Real Players know
The best organic hair gel
Is Menstrual Blood
This is the stupidest looking creature since The Existential Gargoyle, or whatever he was.
3tarnish