Friday, August 20, 2010

Friday Haiku

In Vegas, the beast,
Lucifer’s epiphany:
Just another douche.

Fawk red hair
Fawk devil’s horns
Ming Li wants sushi

— mr.reeve

Rehab Anti-Christ
heard Jebus won a Monthly;
answers the challenge.

— Wheezer

While the Old Bag slept
His friends dyed hair with Kool-Aid
He thought it was rad

— Mr. White

The “Biker Rabbi”
Drives his Hog from shul to shul
Free circumscisions

— Vin Douchal

I never wanted
To ever have a real job
My plan is working.

— Wedgie

Damn, Satan sharted.
Forty-three is the new…douche.
Lucifer don’t wipe.

–Amerigo Vesdouchey

So apparently
Satan’s drink of choice is gin
from water bottle.

— Bag Margera

# posted by douchebag1
7:02 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

Slayer: Hell Awaits…..
Was this what Kerry King and
the boys had in mind?

7:02 am August, 20 Turdacious said...

My Eyes!, I can’t feel my Eyes!!!

7:03 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

Mephistopheles
steals souls because it’s clear he
has none of his own.

7:03 am August, 20 mr.reeve said...

Fawk red hair
Fawk devil’s horns
Ming Li wants sushi

7:03 am August, 20 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Someone on rooftop
Has aimed magnify glass to
her chest. Aim! Focus!!

7:05 am August, 20 mr.reeve said...

Oldbag at Rehab
Wants to party like a youngster
All he got was crabs

7:05 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

Ninth Circle of Hell –
What happens there stays there for
all eternity…..

7:06 am August, 20 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Missed red horns first time.
Has he styled pubes to brown turds?
What an ‘effin choad!

7:07 am August, 20 mr.reeve said...

Twisted Fire Starter guy
Still loves Prodigy a lot
Where’s the glow sticks?

7:08 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

Rehab Anti-Christ
heard Jebus won a Monthly;
answers the challenge.

7:08 am August, 20 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Last tat on his arm
Looks like ginormous watch dial?
Time to drown himself?

7:10 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

Hellish GSR
not hidden by bad tatts, low
pants, nor dignity.

7:10 am August, 20 mr.reeve said...

Faux not Fawk retard. Give me another coffee

7:11 am August, 20 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Wheezer comes out hot!
Jebus tie is excellent!
Blew milk out my nose!

7:13 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

One thing is certain:
Fire, brimstone odors nothing
next to Axe and poo.

7:13 am August, 20 dknutty said...

Heat Miser grows beard
sports tatts, for movie remake…
“Douche without a Hott”

7:16 am August, 20 Mr. White said...

While the Old Bag slept
His friends dyed hair with Kool-Aid
He thought it was rad

7:16 am August, 20 mr.reeve said...

Pink chin pubs
Look like a duster
I smell Aqua Velva

7:16 am August, 20 Bagnonymous said...

Ah, yes–Vegas turds.
If not for that wretched place,
where would this site be?

7:17 am August, 20 Vin Douchal said...

Reliving childhood
Mortimer will not let go
Been a douche since birth

7:17 am August, 20 Bagnonymous said...

Advice for the young:
Never want to work again?
Get tatts like this guy.

7:19 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

She signed a contract
to model; didn’t quite read
all the conditions.

7:19 am August, 20 Vin Douchal said...

What possible job
Could this smelly asshat have
Busboy for prison

7:19 am August, 20 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Transmission fluid
for a hair gel substitute
Leaves telltale traces.

7:20 am August, 20 saulgoode42 said...

Tammy never knew
666 is Number Two
I earn maiden points

7:22 am August, 20 Wedgie said...

His three-pointed star
Guides the way for all douchebags
Coming to Vegas

7:23 am August, 20 Vin Douchal said...

The “Biker Rabbi”
Drives his Hog from shul to shul
Free circumscisions

7:24 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

“New Geography”:
The Bermuda Triangle
extends to Vegas.

7:24 am August, 20 Wedgie said...

I never wanted
To ever have a real job
My plan is working.

7:25 am August, 20 Vin Douchal said...

The greasy trainwreck
Tries to distract attention
From his Ken Doll crotch

7:27 am August, 20 Vin Douchal said...

Carny convention
Forces Hard Rock Casino
Pool be drained nightly

7:29 am August, 20 Bag Margera said...

Mila’s period
catches cunnilingus Joe
by complete surprise.

7:29 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

Vegas: Abandon
hope, all ye who enter here,
for ’tis fouled by scrote

7:30 am August, 20 Vin Douchal said...

Rose colored glasses
He sees “cool” in the mirror
The world sees bulls eye

7:31 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

He would look better
frying in a lake of fire
impaled on pitchfork.

7:32 am August, 20 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

“Black Donald’s” day off
Unfortunately gives a
view of hell on earth.

7:32 am August, 20 Vin Douchal said...

If I ever take
A wrong turn and end up here
Stab myself in neck

7:33 am August, 20 Bag Margera said...

Tatt’s tell a story:
Steve Miller Band burning in
hell and loving it.

7:34 am August, 20 mr.reeve said...

Pink hair, pink chin
pierced ears, bad tatts
The Oldbags a turd bomb

7:36 am August, 20 Bagnonymous said...

Reflective lenses:
newest douche accessory.
She’s a butterhead.

7:36 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

Thai Anne Hathaway
stars in a rotten sequel:
Devil Wears Nada

7:36 am August, 20 Bag Margera said...

So apparently
Satan’s drink of choice is gin
from water bottle.

7:37 am August, 20 Guns-N-Douches said...

All birds should take note,
That death comes from douche hair spikes,
Stay clear of Vegas.

7:38 am August, 20 Vin Douchal said...

Fitz doesn’t quite get
Witness Protection Program
Philly mob on way

7:39 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

He’s known as “Ol’ Scratch”
because he will infect you
with itchy rash, crabs.

7:43 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

Regan McNeil
is Asian? Huh! She should turn
her head, walk away.

7:44 am August, 20 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Damn, Satan sharted.
Forty-three is the new…douche.
Lucifer don’t wipe.
.
Mexican?Asian?
Blast shields keeping that secret.
Don’t care, hott is hott.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey

7:45 am August, 20 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Raymond’s calm belies
Big axe cleaving hair and skull
“Time’s Up” should be now.

7:45 am August, 20 dknutty said...

Scrotes’ new hairstyle
pays homage to Pontiac
hit him with Grand Prix

7:55 am August, 20 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Why the red points, Dave?
Trying to look like a Princess?
Medieval Douche, now!

7:58 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

Peter Fonda as
Sleazy Ghost Rider“; his version
taps wrong Johnny Blaze
.
Same idea, though:
souls easily surrendered,
but for worthless cause.

8:00 am August, 20 The Fourth Horseman of the Douchepocalypse said...

This is the result
of Satan taking a dump
after Vegas binge

8:01 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

When I saw this pic,
first reaction was laughter.
Now I’m just weeping.

8:01 am August, 20 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Is he drinking straight
vodka? Where’s the matches or
cyanide when needed?

(DOH! 6 on end, but I gotta run it!)

8:04 am August, 20 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Every tat tells a
story? So what’s with club foot
lady at his waist?

8:05 am August, 20 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Baldbag denial
Chi-Hott needs Disinfectant
Run Douchey Run Deep

8:05 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

His body tapers
at the waist; maybe Satan
really has goat legs?

8:07 am August, 20 massengill said...

Where is the chopper
Dropping white phosphorous when
You need it the most?

8:10 am August, 20 Captain Garanichode said...

A Mail Order Bride
She hates her Daddy
Standing by Satan’s Side
Her taint is nice…

8:11 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

Red satellite dish;
even Satan wants lots of channels,
prob’ly for gay porn.

8:15 am August, 20 Crucial Head said...

Shames Hetfield mourns days
When Buttalica took album
Load literally.

8:20 am August, 20 End the Haberdouchery said...

Beelzebub mocks you.
Satan doesn’t use a straw,
like a little bitch.

8:24 am August, 20 End the Haberdouchery said...

Too late for haiku.
Can’t get front page anyway,
Can’t bring the funny.

8:27 am August, 20 melvil duchi said...

leftover urine sample
thrown on demonchild
red means not pregnant

8:53 am August, 20 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Devil meets angel
wing begonias in hair
battle. Flowers lose.

8:54 am August, 20 Bag Margera said...

Of all the vodkas
in the world, cheap-ass Satan
decides absolute.

8:55 am August, 20 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

More than one humming-
bird has fallen victim to
this red attractant.

8:58 am August, 20 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Raised by Breton wo-
men who beat the devil out
of him, Guy fled home.

9:03 am August, 20 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Oldbag’s need to dip
pigtails in ink still plays out
in dipt’ red ink beard.

9:20 am August, 20 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

There are cougars, and
then there are lynx with old goat
beards. Red light: BEWARE!

9:23 am August, 20 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

What’s new, pussycat?
Red ears, a cat-got-yer-tongue-
tie-dyed beard, Pussy…

9:30 am August, 20 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

All the other douche-
cats fled the scene when Red Cat
strolled in and sprayed up.

10:16 am August, 20 anonymous said...

Dad’s mid-life crisis –
Not going so well, it seems.
Weird angel on abs.

10:30 am August, 20 Turdacious said...

sammy loves truck flap art
goes with tats
cant drive 55

10:37 am August, 20 Stephanie said...

Dyed hair fake punk
zeroing in on 50
Ming just laughs

11:20 am August, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

New teaching schedule
means no chance at the front page.
Stupid semester.

11:52 am August, 20 Chevy Doucherado said...

That’s one crazy chick
One day she’ll make his life hell
So there is justice

2:11 pm August, 20 collosus of choads said...

missed the friday scene,
really fucked off with myself,
a real n00b mistake

3:16 pm August, 20 scrotum pole said...

Ah, the bi-polar!
Rears it’s ugly head again.
This time, drenched in blood.

3:24 pm August, 20 scrotum pole said...

Light fingers No Lai,
Deftly steals his credit cards,
He’s too trashed to know.

3:28 pm August, 20 scrotum pole said...

Douche shows disrespect,
To ubiquitous red cup.
D’rather suck on straw.

10:49 pm August, 20 Steve L. said...

he needs a pitchfork.
no. i need a pitchfork. to
ram through his stomach.

1:45 pm August, 21 DarkSock said...

The Real Players know
The best organic hair gel
Is Menstrual Blood

11:31 am August, 23 Bagwood Dumbstead said...

This is the stupidest looking creature since The Existential Gargoyle, or whatever he was.

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