Friday, August 13, 2010

Friday Thoughts and Links

If your mandana matches your wristdana, you might be a douchebag.

Dammit. I always hated Jeff Foxworthy’s one note “you might be a…” anti-comedy crappitude, yet here I am paying ode to his trite “family friendly” comedy pablum. The DB1 needs an extra serving of tasty Hostess snack cakes and quality fortified wine tonight.

Mmmm… Chocodiles. They’re like crocodiles. Only with chocolate.

Here’s your links:

There is one, and only one, DVD box set to own for the connoisseur of genius British comedy: And it is this.

Someone’s dad is happy to teach you Monkey Frolic. Nice futon, Mr. Herbert.

Crap, even the dogs are frolicking.

On site at Lollapalooza 2010, intrepid ‘bag hunter David tags us some Lady Gaga style Ass Pear. But no Indiebags, David?

Political blogger Andrew Sullivan catches Sarah Palin in a real scandal: Wearing Ed Hardy boots. I’d make fun of Palin for this, but I’m really just praying that someday she’ll finally go away and leave us be.

Speaking of republicans, Arizona congressional candidate Ben Quayle likes to pal around with Nik Ritchie of “The Dirty.” I’d rather pal around with terrorists.

While I loathe linking to The Chive (since they routinely steal HCwDB pics and terms without credit), their hoax sequence of a Librarian Hott quitting her job was pretty amusing. Or at least kinda sexy.

Speaking of the scrotebags at “The Chive,” how many times has The Chive ripped off HCwDB material without so much as a credit or a link? This many times. These asswipes makes “The Dirty” look like a peer reviewed journal.

But enough of your humble narrator’s grousing. It was a quality week and I tip my cup of Night Train to all of you who contributed brilliant comedy in the comments threads. So here’s your pear:

Cement Pear.

Like twin globes of fleshy cushion glory.

# posted by douchebag1
12:59 pm August, 13 massengill said...

As Lamp would say, I love Cement Pear.

12:59 pm August, 13 massengill said...

” “

1:02 pm August, 13 got jism? said...

Hell yea Nightrain and Boone’s Farm wine! That Lotfullolosers asspear was a nice heine.

1:03 pm August, 13 Markdouchery said...

If I’m not mistaken, cement pear has been here before, but glorious non-the-less.

1:07 pm August, 13 Lämp said...

**clicks on**
.
.
.
I Love Cement Pear And… *blushing* Massengill
.
.
.
**clicks off**

1:09 pm August, 13 One for the Choad said...

The indiebags were reluctant to pose. Which is a pity, because they were everywhere. Trilby hat = autodouche in my book.

1:14 pm August, 13 Anonymous said...

the chive stole that “girl quitting” shit as well

1:15 pm August, 13 Mares Eat Scrotes said...

Why are praises of the Chocodile so rarely sung? And why are the goddamned “fruit” pies easier to find?

Damn, that cement wall is built like a hot chick.

1:21 pm August, 13 tall guy said...

Ah, yes, the Trilby. Unquestionably autodouche. A client of mine runs a cafe & the day barista loves wearing his stupid, fucking Trilby. He sometimes accessorizes with sunglasses too! Indoors…

Anyway, cement pear’s twin, pound-absorbing, globes are the perfect tonic after my hellishly busy week. It’s early now and I slept well(ish) so it’s time to hit the beach. before long i hope to be in the car park of my local break listening to the Beach Boys and talking shit with a few other grumpy old men. Enjoy your weekend fellow ‘baghunters.

1:21 pm August, 13 massengill said...

I know nothing of Chocodiles, but I did just eat a Choco Taco. And that shit was RIGHT!
.
The Monkey Frolic guy is some sort of Kung Fu master, nottadouche.
.
That dog needs to visit the veterinarian.
.
I’m just waiting for David to send a full pic revealing that Lady Gaga ass belongs to a dude.
.
Sarah Palin is terrible. She rolled her eyes there. Her boots are lame. I hope she runs for President in 2012 and gets totally and utterly refudiated.
.
The Chive’s Ed Hardy wine review is good, but outside of that,all their shit that I’ve seen is totally weak.

1:24 pm August, 13 Musicman said...

Cement pair is model Jaime Koeppe…she was on the first WWE Diva search…problem is that the WWE never used her other than a magazine pictorial…I’d ram that ass.

1:27 pm August, 13 massengill said...

Awww, thanks Lämp.

1:28 pm August, 13 mr.reeve said...

That dog and monkey dude freaked me out. Pretty sure we’ve had that pear before but its good so who cares. I have nothing to say about (R)s or (D)s since they have both totally fucked this country up.
I am ready for beer. This damn thing called work gets in the way of it all the time though.

1:41 pm August, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Cement Pear arouses the most flaccid drunken fun dagger, particularly the Jesus sized cocck. I need a beer and clean boxers.

1:42 pm August, 13 Dicy said...

Quality pear needs to be repeated so we can oogle as much as the pear deserves. And with this posting, I say just over an hour to quitting time and whiksey 😀

1:43 pm August, 13 Scroticus said...

WTF DB1?! Is there not enough ass pear in the world for 52 fresh pics a year?

Could someone please give the good man a copy of Excel and/or some fresh ass pear plucked from the digital tree?

1:51 pm August, 13 Wedgie said...

Classic quitting sequence….I’m on my way to the library.
Then to the concrete wall next to it.

1:52 pm August, 13 One for the Choad said...

@massengill

David here. Gaga ass pear is definitely a chick, though what you see was clearly her best attribute. There were a lot of Gaga dudes there, though.

1:52 pm August, 13 Sack O Douche said...

Pear is all I need. Good weekend to all. I am off to the bar!

2:07 pm August, 13 Blinded by the Shite said...

First The Young Ones. Next: Bottom. You’re welcome America.

2:15 pm August, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Awesome photo of my Zombie Arm.
.
Chicks dig scars, right Medusa?

2:25 pm August, 13 clam fist said...

That’s a juicy pear.

2:27 pm August, 13 Viv's 4head Stars said...

Miss the Young Ones!!!!!!! Must See MTViewing in late 80s!!
Cool Mike…DB or not-a-DB?

2:39 pm August, 13 Crucial Head said...

Damn Vin. You need to cut back on the heroin useage. Just because it worked for Layne Staley, doesn’t mean it works for everyone.
.
People are going to start noticing those tracks.

3:24 pm August, 13 Spelling enthusiast said...

^ usage

3:25 pm August, 13 Bag Margera said...

I just discovered death metal rooster today.

It was the greatest non-boobie, non-ass pear thing I’ve ever seen.
And then I saw the raving dog.
And then I got sad.
And then I wanted to ban the internet for the exploitation of animals.

3:30 pm August, 13 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Well…I’m thinkin….
.
Damn, that cement wall is built like a hot chick.
– Mares Eat Scrotes said…
.
FTW!!

3:35 pm August, 13 Mr. White said...

I would grind my bare junk against the wall next to concrete pear just for the chance to lick the dry-erase board of fake-quitting HPOLA (hot piece of librarian ass).

3:40 pm August, 13 Wedgie said...

Vin:

When working on a propeller, make sure the key is not in the ignition, and there are no smart-ass teenaged kids playing nearby.

Wedgie found that one out the hard way.

Almost time for tequila…..gotta love Friday.

4:06 pm August, 13 creature said...

nice fake cans on golden dress with raven tresses!

4:36 pm August, 13 Douche Slapper said...

Cement Pear is indeed a repost.
First week of June, if I’m not mistaken

4:49 pm August, 13 scrotum pole said...

Re: Ass Pear:

I commend Wedgie and Mr. White for using the correct nomenclature. The Ass Pear in question is leaning seductively against, what appears to be a pre-cast, pre-stressed exposed aggregate concrete wall.
Using the term “cement” is not accurate. It would be like calling a loaf of bread ” flour”, as cement is but an ingredient used to produce concrete.

BTW, I would duct tape my scrotum to a live hornet’s nest and walk two and a half miles through an Oklahoma thrunderstorm, for the opp……….
Never mind, I wouldn’t.
But, that’s some nice ass pear.

However, I WOULD agree to co-star in Mr. White’s next homoerotic, dance video, as long as he promised to kiss me fully on the lips in compensation.

5:40 pm August, 13 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Go to http://cavemancircus.com/2010/03/16/jamie-koeppe/ to see more of the divine Ms. Koeppe (Ms. Cement Pear).

7:09 pm August, 13 Sorta Damocles said...

Cement Pear (Jaime Koeppe) is exactly what we should be inducting into the HoH. And by inducting, I mean blasting body fluids across our keyboards.

8:21 pm August, 13 Fatness said...

Cement (concrete) pear made the purple helmet do a little squirt.
.
Lolla…the best reason all year to leave town for a weekend. So I did.
.
I’ll take two of raven-haired hott at the top of this post, to go. Thank you.

8:31 pm August, 13 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

“What?!?

Citizen Kane, AGAIN?!?”

said the guy like the guy complaining about Cement Pair.

9:04 pm August, 13 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

So rabies causes “frolicking”? Huh, the more you know…

9:11 pm August, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Cement Pear is concrete proof that in posing by a cement wall, she is decidedly NOT a hard ass.

9:13 pm August, 13 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

As for your douche/hott coupling photo, he’s underdressed, she’s overdressed, and the photog had to be just right there to get that shot.

10:42 pm August, 13 Wheezer said...

For those who got a kick out of the spastic dog clip, you’re welcome. I thought DJ Bello and his broheims could probably use that as a primer even though that dog, yes, has a medical condition. No surprise, I know.
.
.
.
And since Vin is our resident source for all weather hotts, I thought he might offer some views on this list.
.
I’m not fond of the website’s name “brobible.com” – yeah, there’s some douchin’ going on there, but we have some weather hotts to ogle. That’s what really counts, after all.

10:44 pm August, 13 Wheezer said...

I agree with Dicy – Cement Pear is worth another look, as is “Heart Pear” from that same post. 😀

1:47 am August, 14 Mr. Biggs said...

Oh au contraire … I celebrate Sarah Palin. As a certified America hater I celebrate that she heralds our imminent demise and decay into a final and eternal dark age.

3:27 am August, 14 Anonymous said...

B.O. is currently doing a fine job of that.

8:19 am August, 14 Mr. White said...

@scrotum pole
Ask and you shall receive. Please study this early concept in preparation for our next video.

10:02 am August, 14 clam fist said...

Sarah Palin is hott. I bet she cooks a mean omelette.

11:38 am August, 14 Sir Winston Douchehill said...

I’m gonna stick up for Jeff Foxworthy a little – the “Redneck” routine is only a small part of his act, either at the end or as an encore.

And having lived in the South for a while, I gotta say that there’s a lot more truth to what he says than many people might realize.

My favourite: “If your mother doesn’t bother to remove the unfiltered Camel from between her lips before telling the highway patrolman he can kiss her ass…”

5:40 pm August, 14 Douchie Arnaz said...

Acupuncture with 6 in. roofing nails. The Young Ones was the greatest.

10:20 pm August, 14 Steve L. said...

why a cement wall? they don’t have the money to fly to an exotic tropical island for the ass pear photo shoot?
… sounding like a spoiled brat feels totally awesome. thank you.

10:22 pm August, 14 Steve L. said...

if the hott in the Chive hoax sequence is a professional actress, i’d have great reservations about calling her a librarian hott, even though she’s pretty hot in her own right.
sorry Ms. Porterfield.

5:06 pm August, 15 DarkSock said...

I will stab whomever runs The Chive in the side of his neck with a frozen cat turd, and it shall become the Spark Plug of his Soul.

5:50 pm August, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Vin RE Franken-arm:
I think my nethers did the perky puff over that one. If Mr. Biscotti would ever suffer similar misfortune, I would have a hard time refraining from saying “Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology” at least ten times a day.
.
Frolic dog made my day. Cement Pear made my night.

8:43 pm August, 15 Anonymous said...

I forgot about the Young Ones. Were there ever more than 5 episodes? I wonder if it’s still funny…

12:42 am August, 16 Crucial Head said...

Given what DarkSock wrote at 5:06… I hereby wash my hands of the carnage that’s about to ensue.

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