Friday, August 20, 2010

Friday Thoughts and Links


Oh, Anita.

How you stand there so calmly in the eye of the storm as four Vegas Shoescrapes circle you like rancid pudding.

Anita. Anita! As these skinny tatt-infested muggies paw your soft boobage, remember this:

You can’t go, the plants’ll die.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: Mohawk this guy!

Speaking of cinematic perfection, the greatest three minute sequence of the 1990s: Gutterballs! The Coen Brothers are the masters. The rest are mere filmmakers.

Last week’s Basebaggery incident, in which Douchebag Bo let his girlfriend, Sara, get hit by a foul ball, has brought us one glorious revelation: Sarah is Uberhott. Yes she is.

Oompa Prompa Inflatus!

Insecure Twitter and pathological narcissist, John Mayerbag: Before becoming Guitar Spank Lameness.

Streetfighter 2010: Boston Douchebags Beaten with a Bat. Now with bonus cheering!

Celebrity Orangebags attend the ballet. High Culture never smelled of such poo.

KTLA files this report on Los Angelesian Scrotewankery.

For the nerds among us: Darth Schwarzenegger.

Okay, enough nerdgasms. It’s time to get down to your reward at the end of another quality week of hottie/douchey parse.

And since the last few weeks had some repeat Pear, you deserve not one, not two, but THREE all new servings of Pearfection. And here they is:

Splash Pear. Like a summer’s breeze.

Polished Pear.

And the glories of Step Pear.

For you’ve earned it. Now carry the HCwDB traditions into Friday’s eve with wine, bread, women and song.

# posted by douchebag1
1:07 pm August, 20 Lämp said...

**clicks on**
.
.
.
I Love Splash, Polished and Step Pears
.
.
.
**clicks off**

1:10 pm August, 20 porch sharts said...

Cisco, Wild Irish Rose, Twinkies, Pears, hott Sara and Blondie with Kermit the frog what a hookup!

1:10 pm August, 20 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man.

1:21 pm August, 20 mr.reeve said...

Splash pear is the best of all time so far! The weekend is here.

1:24 pm August, 20 ColorMeDouche said...

That dude with the beard looks legit I don’t care if he is the biggest douche on the beach and proud of it.

1:26 pm August, 20 massengill said...

I really don’t know much about Star Trek (really), is she a Romulan?

1:39 pm August, 20 Quint said...

RE: Oompa Prompa Inflatus

You’re gonna need a bigger toilet.

1:40 pm August, 20 mr.reeve said...

Bo the Bailer is quite the idiot. Sarah is smokin hott!
It was great to watch the Bostonbags get theres with a bat. Nice find.
F you Mayerbag, you taintly, chode, scrote lick, ass pimple.
KTLA has Meagan Henderson. She should havedone the report in a bikini pool side.

1:41 pm August, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

Gotta love FB looks like one of Sarah’s “friends” threw her under the bus.
.
Poor Anita got mugged, she’s posing with her hipster doof BF and his bud and the 2 choads on the right decide to get in the pic bringing a toxic stew of hipster/ DB spunk.
.
Splash pear FTW!!!

1:43 pm August, 20 soy bomb said...

Love love LOOOOVEEE the batman v 5 street punks video. Thanks for posting. The sound of aluminum on coward-ass pussy skull is like muzak to mine ears.

2:00 pm August, 20 Splash, Polished & Step, LLC said...

We would like to put make a motion to move our litigation into the hind court of all three Pears.

2:08 pm August, 20 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Anita has a great rack and highlights it well in that outfit. However, her grill is lacking as she looks like Luther from The Warriors…”Warriors, come out to pla-ay…Warriors, come out to play-ay…”

Sarah is okay…another beneficiary of complimentary photographic angles…not great, not uber. Tepid hott.
Yay Pear!

2:18 pm August, 20 Wedgie said...

My compliments to your taste in fine wine, sir. You must be in fine fettle today; three helpings of pear.
I am now in a great mood, so off to the beach, a south swell is due in this afternoon. Cheers.

2:36 pm August, 20 Sack O Douche said...

Off to the work restroom again. Damn! The pear is flowing this week.

4:39 pm August, 20 Turdacious said...

shes so tough, pure as the driven slush and probably wears a pearl necklace

4:40 pm August, 20 Dicy said...

So much pear! *explodes*

4:42 pm August, 20 Snoop Douchey Douche said...

Should a quorum be called on Sarah for the Hall?
In addition to being a four-alarm scorcher, she saved herself from douche. Seems like a fair question to me, folks.

6:17 pm August, 20 wrapped up like a douche said...

Splash Pear Splash Pear Splash Pear Splash Pear Splash Pear Splash Peas Splash Pear Splash Pear Splash Pear Splash Pear Splash Pear Splash Pear Splash Pear Splash Pear Splash Pear Splash Pear Splash Pear Splash Pear

6:19 pm August, 20 Turdacious said...

not that hot

6:20 pm August, 20 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Damn Dicy, did I just catch a glimpse of some nip slippage in you avatar?

.

In the words of William Shakespear, “me likey.”

6:23 pm August, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The photo is the first released picture of the Clones of the Grateful Dead. I was just grateful that some of them were dead. Blondie was a hott punk 30 year old 30 years ago. The Oompa Prompa Inflato is just wrong. Sweet booze take me through ’till Monday.

7:34 pm August, 20 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I forgot to mention that, as far as I can remember, I’ve never seen a bearded orthodox jewish douche, aka Hasidouche.
http://www.schemamag.ca/archives/Matisyahu%202.jpg

7:38 pm August, 20 Douchesickle said...

Atleast the retarded Beach Boys remembered to bring the beach balls (nice soft sweet succulent love orbs).

8:40 pm August, 20 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

From right to left: Douche, Douche, Hot Chick, Douche, Crazy-Cool-Don’t-Give-a-Fuck Dude.

9:01 pm August, 20 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

At left is the journalist who embedded himself and researched Douchedom, H.S. Thompson-style.
.
Moments after this pic was taken, his luxurious beard blew his cover. He was stomped mercilessly.
.
Luckily, he survived both the beating and the overwhelming stench of Axe, and penned “Hell’s Douchebags.”

9:22 pm August, 20 Crucial Head said...

I would like to address the ‘baghunters in the audience for a brief moment. Perhaps a ‘baghuntress or two if she so chooses.
.
You see, we male hunters may type all we want, using prodigious words and clever intellect to inflict über mock uponst the so-called chode. But at the end of the day, ‘tis all but mere kindling being meagerly offered to the sexual engine’s that power our Goddesses of Mock. “Why is this,” you may ask?
.
Well, fellow hunter and mocker of all things douchie and scrotal funguous; the answer my hunter, is in Dicy’s Avatar… the answer my hunter is in Dicy’s avatar.
.
Bravo.
.
Bravo!!!!
.
I shall now take a moment of quiet repose to “freshen up” in my master bateroom.

9:43 pm August, 20 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

^
Hear, hear!
.
Verily, would but more women such as Dicy, like Saul on the road to Damascus, have the scales fall from their eyes and see the Douche for who he is, how much less Douchlier would the world be?!

9:57 pm August, 20 Fatness said...

Dicy, if I were half my age I’d still be too old for you…but da-yum, girl. I’d do time for you.
.
growwwwl.
.
100% agreed with Mr. Head.
.
Maybe all hope is not lost…

10:38 pm August, 20 Steve L. said...

triple pear + Sarah boobage + Peyton List Maxim photos. my Friday is complete. well, more jizz than complete.

10:39 pm August, 20 Steve L. said...

and of course, Dicy’s new avatar doesn’t hurt either.

12:15 am August, 21 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

The Three AssPears are real Peaches this week.

Oops, did I say Peaches?

12:17 am August, 21 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Give that dude with the giraffe tongue a sandwich.

12:34 am August, 21 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Back in my university days, and before that, and after that, there was always Ripple fine wine, in the rippled bottle, and far better’n Night Train. Or one could juice out on Mogen David.
To accompany that there was also a set of three or four fine cheeses, some water crackers, and of course, fresh PEAR with a fruit knife to slice into it. Oh, there were Twinkies, and DingDongs, and HoHos and Pepto-Bismol for the aftereffects of combining it all with several tokes of some fine pot.

The more things change, the more things stay the same-o, same-o.

1:43 am August, 21 tall guy said...

Splash pear for Hall of Hot, all the rest good as well. Saturday night here & I’m knackered after a long day of work & play. Also said farewell to a glorious English rose this afternoon who returns to London tomorrow after 30 years in Australia. I’ve had a thing for her for a long time but never acted on it. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve realized she’s been open, perhaps even waiting for, my attention. I should. I could. I would have.
Enjoy your weekend fellow bag baggers. Looks like it’s DVDS of series 1 & 2 of Seinfeld for me tonight with perhaps a little Clint in In The Line Of Fire on TV later on.

4:55 am August, 21 Dicy said...

Hehe you guys are so silly!

I too have hope that these girls’ eyes will open like Saul’s on the road to Damascus. Then they’ll stop hanging on to ‘bags and find themselves a nice Astronomer to settle down with… Or whatever type of nerd they are into.

And what a wonderful world that would be!

6:50 am August, 21 Me said...

the guy with the chest tat kinda looks like Craig Owens formerly of the band Chiodos. I know it’s not him but kinda similar

7:45 am August, 21 massengill said...

Sarah’s boyfriend didn’t look like the kind of guy that would go to Burning Man with her…

9:21 am August, 21 DarkSock said...

That dude with the beard looks Santa’s Elf that really wanted to be a dentist. Apparently along the way he fell into sampling the nitrous in the office. Nothing is more pathetic than an elf in the depths of an ether binge.
.
Sarah has a loverly bod, but she looks a little like Paul McCartney in the face. ……hell, Paul was the cute one; I’d hit it.
asdf

sfhd

9:56 am August, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Kenny Rogers and The First Edition would fucle her early 20’ish firmness and then treat her to a feast of his world’s greatest chicken. And by the world’s greatest chicken, I mean Roasters chicken cooked in the renderings from his lengthy series of gynecomastia surgeries. I don’t eat Kenny Roger’s chicken, prefer smoked Bison penis.

10:15 am August, 21 Mr. White said...

Sarah is going to hit 200 lbs before she’s 30, and it’s going to be all downhill from there. Even worse when she pops out her first kid. And now she’s desperately trying to use getting tagged with a foul ball as her ticket to famewhoredom. No thanks, no HoH. She should go back to her mentally challenged boyfriend and cling to him while she’s got a chance. He will have moved on to a 17-year-old meth addict before she knows it.

10:27 am August, 21 clam fist said...

Booobies!!!!

10:48 am August, 21 DarkSock said...

As if she had never been struck in the head with balls before…pfahhh I say.

10:56 am August, 21 scrotum pole said...

Fan catching a foul ball, doin’ it right.

4:40 am August, 22 mr.reeve said...

DarkSock’s Sarah and Paul McCartney comparrison has ruined the way I see Sarah……..

3:21 pm August, 22 Stephanie said...

shoescrape! Ha ha ha ha!

7:22 pm August, 22 Douchelips said...

So that KTLA report on Los Angelesian Scrotewankery was essentially a giant advertisement for the Wynn resort. Is this what local news had become?
.
Also those three women were IDIOTS. None spoke in complete sentences or even made any sense at all. Is this “hip”? Were they trying to be “with it”? Good lord, if that’s what passes for legitimate broadcasting we are all doomed.

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