Monday, August 23, 2010

HCwDB of the Week

While Brothabag Edgar and Josslyn were an avalanche of douche-win in last week’s Weekly, this one’s a tough and equally balanced contest. Three quality fishgoiters. Three sets of tasty ladies. Which will win?

Here’s your finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Supermoobs

Look!! Under his pecs!! It’s a splurge!! It’s a stain!! It’s… Supermoobs!!

The Cassie Sisters are nice real world cuteness. Supermoobs’s friend, Bobbin, is irrelevant.

But can the moobstains take a Weekly?

For sheer innovation, it’s a noteworthy entrant.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: D.J. Jerzey Jackoffsky and Jenny


Our second choice is a classic selection of D.J. Asswipe and sultry party girl experimentation rich girl innocence.

For J.J., his is a hat that doubles as a makeshit outhouse for the Bushmen of the Kalahari during rainy season. Especially for Umke!ko. Who making clicking noises of approval at how well it absorbs even the foulest of waste odors.

For Jenny, confusion and bad choices are aided by too many Comsos. Hers is a quality hottness that ages well into her middle years. Her body is understated but with great academic merit.

But there’s one more:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Snowe Blonde and the Four Dwarts

For our final entrant, meet the Four Dwarts. Skeezy, Pasta, Dopehead and Roofie.

The Four Dwarts are a smorgasboard of classic Vegas Douchepud variation. Like ordering a wine tasting sampler. Except instead of a Shiraz, a Merlot, a Pinot Noir and a Cabernet, you get four variations of the lip herp.

Snowe Blonde has a phenomenal body, but the face is harder to tell, and as such, the power of hottie/douchey wrongness may be diminished in this pic.

Still, if you’re a fan of mocking classic Vegas choadscrote and Snowe Blonde’s fairytail meets with your approval, then this is your definitely a worthy selection.

So them’s your three.

(Dis)honorable mention to Creepyass Carlos’s hot coeds, the vile mess of Douchebags in the Water (not enough hot chickery to run), the “pull up your pants!” ‘bagling lameness of Tommy Pudwack, basebag player Kevin Douchekilis, the “Douche Power” pose of The Powerturd, the spectacle of Vegas Lucifer (not enough hott to make it), and the disturbingly saggy scrotundae of Your Saturday Oldbag. That’s a lot of callbacks, but it was a tough week to cull down to three finalists.

Still, someone’s gotta parse the mock. And that someone is us. So there’s your three.

Pick one that most exemplifies hottie/douchey wrongness and vote for it, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1
7:25 am August, 23 Douchelips said...

Granted Supermoobs is showing us a new level of scrote, innovative for sure. And the Four Dwarts are Vegas pond-scummy suck-age. But the Cassie sisters are fair to middlin’ at best and Snowe Blonde has fake boobies and without the sunglasses would be downright ugly.
.
That leaves us with D.J. Jerzey Jackoffsky. He brings the full package. Ridiculous hat even your little brother wouldn’t be caught dead in? Check. 90 degree hat tilt? Check. Stupid sunglasses from the late 1980’s? Check. Idiotic ‘bag hand gesture? Check. Bulging tatted bicep? Check. Aqua colored shirt that need ironing? Check. In ‘da club? Check. Then there is Jenny, all sweet and innocent with her understated bosoms and “I’m unsure what I’ll catch from this guy” look. She has a sense she needs to run for the hills….and fast.
.
D.J. Jerzey Jackoffsky and Jenny for the win! (loss)

7:25 am August, 23 Colossus of Choads said...

FIRSTIES!!!!!!!!!!!

Jerz.

Combo of the ‘tude, the apparell and the final straw – shades inside.
Bleurgh.

7:26 am August, 23 Colossus of Choads said...

curse you douchelips

7:36 am August, 23 Guns-N-Douches said...

Let’s break it down:

Supermoobs is just a sweaty roid head, and I sympathize (with the sweaty part). Living in the heart of dixie doesn’t exactly jibe with my New England blood. Shit dude, we all get a little sweaty sometimes. Moobsy just needs to cut back on the HGH and choose his clubbin clothes a little more wisely. Cassie 1 and Cassie 2 are hot, but not HAWT, so that’s not an advantage. Wingman douche brings nothing to the table, though the hand gesture makes him GreicoStage 1 with a 90% chance of Douchebag.

DJ Jerz has glasses and hat that invite mock, plus Grade-A douche finger-pointy gang sign. Too bad he lives in the loft over his parents garage. And just like his chances on scoring with Jenny, he’s got no chance for the weekly.

As for Skeezy, Pasta, Dopehead and Roofie, they are like a DoucheBuffet, each bringing their own particular brand of choad to the yard. Their total Doucheosity is greater than the sum of all parts, for they are invincible. Only a skilled haz-mat team could make the pool swimmable for the rest of us after these stains have fouled it’s water. But lo, the wonder of Snow Blonde! I can almost stare at this picture and see only her hotness and lack of bleethy infestation. Boobage, boobies, yummy nom-noms yep, I like her bewbs. AND, that bikini bottom is riding pretty low… I think she is sporting some female Groin Shave Reveal. Oh Snowie, can I have the razor that removed yer pubez? Not to use it, but just so I can stare at it with monumental amounts of envy.

Bondie and the Dwarts for the Weekly.

7:43 am August, 23 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Tough choice between Supermoobs and DJ JJ, and J.
.
Gotta go DJ JJ. Because there’s nothing about him that’s not douchey. And Jenny. But mostly Jenny.
.
Thoughtful and still sultry at 31. And looking like she holds at least 8 more years of hott. So what if she had a few too many cosmos that night.
.
DJ JJ, and J FTW.

7:52 am August, 23 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Jerzey Jackoffsky is cookin’ DB’s like a pound of bacon, with his Jiffy Pop hat, Kool Moe Dee glasses and his Ice Ice Baby, “collaborate and listen” Vanilla Ice mug… We can only hope Jenny has enough sense to stay out of his 5.0 so his hair can blow!!!! FTW boss!

8:00 am August, 23 ColorMeDouche said...

Too much douche for one shirt to hold supermoobs ftl!

8:03 am August, 23 End the Haberdouchery said...

Supermoobs must know the boob sweat is going on, so why not go for the arms crossed pose, Broseph Goebbels?

DJ JJ gets my vote. The blouse, bedazzled hat, and the “I haven’t shaved for three weeks” shadow make him irresistible to bar skanks and Richard Simmons alike.

8:07 am August, 23 the douche is alright said...

ALERT ALERT

WAIT A SECOND!!!!!! The two SUPERMOOBS douches are the same douches as two of the four dwarts!!!!! what’s up with that???

ALERT ALERT – need new finalist added!

8:07 am August, 23 melvil duchi said...

D.J. Jerzey Jackoffsky and Jenny

DJ for the hat tilt and glasses alone. They look like $2 3D glasses he got from the Gas ‘N Sip

And Jenny Lost her favourite penny
So I gave her a dollar
She kissed me
(and I hollered)

I’ll brought records, you cassettes!

8:07 am August, 23 the douche of hazard said...

I’m pretty sure that supermoobs and the 4th dwarf are the same person. And bobbin looks like dwarf number 3. Does this give the supermoobs duo an unfair advantage?? Look closely.

8:08 am August, 23 melvil duchi said...

I’ll BRING records, you cassettes

8:11 am August, 23 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Since Supermoobs is a finalist twice I gotta go with him for the win (loss). If you’re in the finals running in two separate photo-scenarios posing it up you GOTTA be a douche nozzle. Supermoobs FTW.

8:13 am August, 23 Bag Margera said...

My faith in the voting process is restored. Thank you DB1.
.
Granted the girls next to supermoobs are not the best lookers. But to me, the purpose of the hot in these pictures directly correlates to the atrocity that such a big douche could have such a hot chick. In this case any chick in the vicinity of supermoobs is a downright travesty. It’s not uncommon to see Jersey Jackoff getting his friend to take a pic with him and some poor waitress, or some poolside dwarts gang-grope a beach blonder. But for the Cassie sisters, this is the kind of picture that would make them cancel their facebook account.. Supermoobs wins by a moob.

8:20 am August, 23 armydouche said...

The sunglasses glasses in a darkenvironment, that hat, the smug look of self rightous deserving; DJ Jerzey. He’s the only one of these 3 with a chance against the douchernaught known as edgar in the monthly.

8:22 am August, 23 Anonymous 3:16 said...

While the stomach churns at the mere sight of supermoobs, I’m going to vote for Snowe and the 4 – because they are too representative of everything we strive against, too far reaching in their scope, too….douche as a collective. I think any of them one v one with a supermoob would lose, but together they are greater than the sum of their parts, resulting in a horrific “win”

8:27 am August, 23 mr.reeve said...

D.J. Jerzey Jackoffsky (AKA Kool Moe Deeznutz In Hiz Mouth) and Jenny FTW
Dude has 70s style curtains wrapped around his head like it’s a hat. Pastel V-neck shirt, Kool Moe Dee shades and a shirt underneath a shirt. Need I say more? Jenny is all natural Sicilian hottness who is hott now but will probably have a dump truck size ass by the time she’s 30.

8:29 am August, 23 mr.reeve said...

@Colossus of Choads,
“FIRSTIES!!!!!!!!!!!”? Are you serious?

8:32 am August, 23 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Not sure If I approve of double Supermoob. If I have to see double when I’m sober, it had better be Jenny’s twin magnificents. Jerz and Jenny FTW.

8:47 am August, 23 Dicy said...

I’m going to go with DJ JJ because he reminds me of this dickhead I used to know. And Jenny is quality cute and sexy who needs to be rescued ASAP. I will take the challenge of saving her!

9:02 am August, 23 One for the Choad said...

First off, props to Melvil Duchi for the De La Soul reference.

Snow Blonde gets the win for two reasons. One, she’s clearly in on the joke, and she bags four supreme choads in one shot. And two, her boobs should her their own national holiday.

9:03 am August, 23 Anonymous said...

I must admit a level of disappointment in what the douchebag culture has mustered up for us this week. Are they getting lazy or are we winning?
I feel like all three contenders know each other, and these pictures were all taken from the same Facebook page. Nothing really special distinguishes them from one another. They’re all pumped-up guidos with B- hotties.
I’m casting my vote for Supermoobs just on the virtue of his sloppyness. If you’re gonna do something, do it right damn you.

9:08 am August, 23 Crucial Head said...

I vote for DJ Jackoffsky and Jenny. In part for the douche factor, but largely because of Jenny. She is so hot, that Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was moved to pen this verse in one of his epic poems:
.
Lo, what stands at the door of my Wigwam?
Surely the fair maiden Jenny in all her mountainous beauty
Like the doe that’s woven with chalcedony
Her perfection lures my fleshy arrows towards her meadow
She makes me yearn to gift her thusly:
Six seconds of brutal missionary sex before fleeing, ashamed.

.
.
…or something to that effect.

9:10 am August, 23 Crucial Head said...

@Anon 9:03,
.
If Jenny is a B-Hottie in your world, then I need to build a space shuttle stat so I ca fly my bewildered ass to whatever planet you’re living on.

9:18 am August, 23 Wheezer said...

I think “the douche is alright” and “the douche of hazard” are on to something here. It’s pretty clear Supermoobs is Roofie Dwart and Bobbin is Dopehead Dwart.
.
Maybe Vegas Lucifer needs an opportunity to truly answer Jebus’ Monthly – wouldn’t the Douchies take on Biblical significance at that point, or should we set that up in 2012?
.
For now, though, since they were nominated twice for the same Weekly, I have to go with Superdoof Dwarts. Snow Blonde’s level of hott may be up for questioning, but the Cassie Sisters’ girl-next-door cuteness should not be fouled by fromunda pec sweat. Yes, it’s as bad as the cheese of the same name – it’s formed as a precipitate of Prep H and Axe with a poo catalyst. (Doc Bunsen, back me up on that one.)

9:53 am August, 23 Vin Douchal said...

LMFPasty White Cottage CheesyAO big time @ Crucial 9:08
.
Snowe Blonde and the Four Dwarts look like some bizarro world Utah reverse- polygamy. 4 dicks married to one woman. Let’s just for one moment imagine she has the money/time to feed, primp, shave, tatt, oil and fuck four guys, why not? Maybe a divorce or widow settlement a few years back has flushed her with cash? You know there isn’t enough brains to go around for jealousy or competitive fire amongst these four twits and they’d just groove ….
.
Snowe Blonde and the Four Dwarts FTW , bizarro style even though she’s a little gross. I still love her flat abdomen and womanly hips

9:54 am August, 23 DarkSock said...

I tactically vote for DJ Jackoffsky and Jenny, in the hopes that it such a victory will swell his Jiffy Poop head past the danger zone so that it explodes Scanners-style, raining down upon us all the flecks o’ slickened grey gore that was once his mind and soul, showering down on us all like so many soft wet Skittles from the Rainbow of Douchesity, kissing our upturned faces like the soft smelly stamps of little sloppy rat assholes.
.
In the resultant confusion I would (respectfully) honk Jenny’s gore-covered left can, and squirt my pants.
.
DJJJ &J_FTW

9:59 am August, 23 Douchey the Great said...

I’m voting for the Four Dwarts. I live in Florida and I have to witness this shit every fucking day. On the beach, mowing the lawn, hanging out on the porch everywhere they prance their pecs, tats and tans like mutant peacocks.

I need two shots of whiskey, one to drink and one to splash into my eyes.

10:10 am August, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Kroeger 3:8

And I come down to deliver them out of the land of the Egytians, and to deliver them out of that land unto a good land and a large, unto a land flowing with milk and Supermoobs, unto the place of the …….. Jebusites.

Supermoob for the lactationwin.

10:11 am August, 23 Wedgie said...

Supermoobs = Roofie
Bobbin = Dopehead
If these two assclowns are in two of three pics, surely they deserve a weekly (or is that weakly?).
Supermoobs FTW; sweaty pecs is just behind GSR on my list of shitty trends in the good ol’ U.S.of A.

10:17 am August, 23 Et Tu Douche? said...

By process of elimination Snowe Blonde & The 4 Dwarts, douchey yes, are just run of the mill poolbaggery that is all too common. So I’m going to focus on the other 2 contenders.
.
Supermoobs, Bobbin & the Cassie sisters bring the Douche Bag but not necessarily the Hott. Moobs Superman man belt buckle with white belt is requisite signifier for DB’s as “flare” is to waiters & waitress’s working at Houlihan’s. The Moob sweat is very disturbing but more comical then anything.
.
FTW I’m going with DJ Jerzey Jackass & Jenny. They encapsulate the HCwDB ethos. She is Hott and worthy of saving from the cultural blight that is D-Baggery. We’ve all made poor decisions after a little too much alcohol and I would like to think that when she sobered up she realized the errors of her ways in a scared straight kinda of way. He is classic Choad that even a non bag hunter or huntress, who had the misfortune of spotting him, would realize what a tool he is. The hat, cheap sunglasses, (ZZ Top would not approve) bag-hand gesture and the douche smirk take him over the top and by over the top I mean further down the road to cultural despair.

10:24 am August, 23 Medusa Oblongata said...

Jenny certainly looks as if she got lost on the way to the tasteful wine bar to meet her girl friends for a stab at living out an episode of Sex And The City. DJ JJ looks as if he got lost on the way to the thrift store to pick up another old lady shirt. Their meeting was a cosmic collision of all things wrong in the universe, the ultimate dichotomy of douche versus hottie. Jenny ends up at some scratchy DJ turntablism thing in a basement and pouts when her manolos get stained. DJ JJ cries in his twin bed alone when she rejects his advances. DJ JJ for the win and by that I mean loss.

10:30 am August, 23 Ohio FJ said...

Supermoobs FTW because his smirk just begs for a beat down – repeat as needed

10:31 am August, 23 Paul Muad'douche, the Kwisatz Scroterach said...

You know, normally I vote for the freakbags. I like to reward a little creativity. But this is old school week, and as such, I have to vote for the HCwDB that does the best shoutout to 2004, the year when the Grieco virus starting approaching its asymptote.To me, the Dwarts and Snowe Blonde best approximate the aesthetics of that simpler, less douchey by gone era. Apparently as a public service, the Dwarts and Blondie choose to hang out with roughly 40% of the nationwide cases of chlamydia at the Vegas Pool, so those of us without a burning sensation when we pee can more easily avoid a troublesome appointment with the urologist. As an added bonus, Dwart number #2 apparently has enough self-awareness to have “Pasty” tattooed on his stomach. So he’s got that going for him.

ALL MY VOTE GOES TO SNOWE BLONDE AND THE 4 DWARTS!

10:32 am August, 23 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

I’m going to waste my vote but that’s what makes democracy great.
Supermoobs FTW. They’re greasy, roided out, sweaty, and orange. Their women aren’t good looking, but they still give that shit eating look that says “I’m better than you” Well yes you are supermoobs, you’re better at being a f’ing putz.

10:34 am August, 23 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

“Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to?”

10:36 am August, 23 Professor 'Baglioni said...

I have to vote for Snowe Blonde (and unfortunately for the four Dwarts by consequence) for the boobage is in abundance, and the douches are… Douchey.

10:39 am August, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

First things first.
.
@DICY. DAMN Girl! Nice gravytar.
.
Second, I’m voting for – aw, who’m I kiddin. I’ll be back in a couple minutes.

10:41 am August, 23 dbBen said...

Supermoobs
.
Sweat-stain on his shirt:Supermoobs::Creation of Adam:Michelangelo
.
Definitely a derivative work, but it doesn’t diminish its relative importance.
.
It’s a sign and it has made me question a lot of things in life. So I’ve decided to take mine and give wholly to the ministry of mock.

10:44 am August, 23 Baleen said...

DJ Jerz ftw. With the Jiffy Pop hat, lobster claws, and complimentary shades post eye exam, DJ Jerzey can finally get mad props up in this bitch. Of course, if he wins, he’ll get iced in the monthly smackdown. But since he’s posing with potential milfly hottness, the hottie/douchey binary in all of its self referential glory is in pristine balance.

10:45 am August, 23 dbBen said...

or it could be llama kissing a duck

11:06 am August, 23 C.G. said...

NEWSFLASH (unless someone broke it – i didn’t have time to scan through the comments):

SUPERMOOBS and the FOUR DWARTS contain two of the same douchebags. damn, i’m good.

11:06 am August, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, my vote. D.J. JJ and Jenny get my vote if for no other reason than their comingling will produce so many regrets. Jenny will regret passing on that overtime shift at the call center so she could go clubbing. She’ll regret giving the dumbass with the goofy hat more than a fleeting glance when he drifted over and sat down at her table. She’ll regret leaving her glass more than half full when she went to the ladies room. She’ll regret telling her friends to “go’on w’thout me. I’m FINE! Isn’t he hot!?!? WUPPEEEE!” And, as she stares with tears in her eyes at the pee coated plastic wand, she’ll regret not listening to her roommate who kept trying to get her to take her birth control pills regularly.
.
D.J. JJ will regret not buying the matching Hammer pants off the clearance rack when he had the chance.
.
Life is hard; D.J. JJ is not. But he wins anyways.

11:07 am August, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I’m in a simple mood today, and to put it simply, the douchebag with the most signifiers is D.J. Jerzey Jackoffsky. Anyone can sweat it up under the moobs, so I am not sure nature’s contribution to douche qualifies. But that HAT is foofier than the cotton draw-string sack in our broom closet for recycling plastic store bags. A little arm-tatt, shades indoors at night, hat-tilt, pout, finger-signing, what the…!Jenny is but a tasty innocent, an ingenue hott in the presence of such douche-tackery, unblemished in the presence of “de JJJ taint.”

11:17 am August, 23 justadouchalo said...

Tattoo “Pasta” across your gut beneath your pasty, droopy moobs and you’re our winner with or without oblate inflato mams rampant in the photo.
Dwarts for the win and me for the gin…….yippeeee!

11:20 am August, 23 Ludacriss Axehandle McCockkwielder said...

Since everyone seems to be silent about the elephant in the room, I guess I’ll be the hero and point out that the two douches in Finalist #1 and the two douches in Finalist #3 are the same douches.
.
!
.
And those douches are big fat pussies, not the hott.
.
(thhis is not a vote, btw)

11:23 am August, 23 chaserofthehott said...

I gotta go with D.J. Jerzey Jackoffsky for the win/loss, because dirty little Jenny keeps f****** me with her eyes. I just want to see more of Jenny, preferably nude.

11:34 am August, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I’m dissappointed that, to this point, everyone has failed to notice that the Chlamydia in Finalist #1 is, in fact, the same Chlamydia in Finalist #3, and oddly enough, #2.

11:36 am August, 23 Fatness said...

Jackoffsky and Jenny are my picks this week.
.
Supermoobs doesn’t take it either as Supermoobs or as one of the Four Dwarts (that’s the same guy, DB) due to the lack of hott on either shot
.
Jenny, on the other hand, gets the one-eye salute every time.

11:42 am August, 23 scrotum pole said...

Jersey Jack’ gets my vote, he is a pud and his undeserved look of arrogance sickens me.
The hat, I don’t mind. He could use it to smuggle Black Market electronic gear, prescription drugs and exotic reptiles through customs.
.
Within Sweet Jenny’s expression of skepticism lies that small, glimmer of hope that she’s still redeemable, and for that we can all be grateful.

11:47 am August, 23 Douche Dastardly said...

I move for a disqualification of Moobs and the dwarts. Sighting the old physics law that the same douche matter cannot occupy the same poo space. And since I am not a fan of wins by default I vote for including Old bag and his quartet of boobies.
Mmmm black bikini boobs. Come on Do over!

11:51 am August, 23 Pablo Picasshole said...

Listen, I hate to throw cold water on the whole proceedings here but, some of the douchebags in pic #1 and pic #3 are one in the same.
.
.
Also, the blonde in pic #3 is a stone-cold bleeth of the highest (lowest) order.

11:52 am August, 23 Fatness said...

Well, in case we’re going with the write-in option…I still vote for Jackoffsky and Jenny since Oldbag is merely an oldbag, not enough for full douchebag status. Black Bikini Bonanza belongs in a Hall of Boobie without needing other qualification, but not as half of a weekly contender.

11:56 am August, 23 Pablo Picasshole said...

We need Jimmy Carter, Katherine Harris and Fidel Castro’s campaign manager to moniter this election.

12:06 pm August, 23 Sack O Douche said...

Snowe Blonde and the Four Dwarts FTW. Peter North will deliver a nice facial cream pie to Snowe Blonde like the champion he is. The other three chodes are there to clean up the mess.

12:10 pm August, 23 massengill said...

DJJJ & Jenny FTW

Someone else mentioned it, but I think Supermoobs and friend are also in the dwarfs pic. They are splitting their own vote!

And Jenny is hott, and not bleethy at all. She should know better.

12:15 pm August, 23 tall guy said...

In an effort to sidestep any controversy regarding the candidates I can only echo the sentiments of earlier posts declaring DJ Jerzey Jackoffsky suitable material for a weekly (win). Also, my concerns about how such a cockneck could ever pull the lovely Jenny have been adequately explained by Medusa, whose painstaking detective work coupled with an insiders knowledge has expertly retraced Jenny’s steps of that evening and put this mysterioso puzzle to bed. Nice work.

Jerzey Jackoffsky for the weekly.

12:16 pm August, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I also want to point out that Straight Up Reverse Piece Sign in Finalist #3 is in no way related to Side Ways Piece Sign in Finalist #2, though it does bare a striking resemblance to a particular Side Ways Piece Sign that starred as the center piece in a bukkaki fest with the Side Ways Piece Signs in Finalist #1 entitled “Sticky Fingers V: Lift and Separate”.

12:41 pm August, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

D.J. Jerzey Jackoffsky and Jenny FTW! Why? Because he was born with hydroencephalitis and that hat is the only thing keeping his massive melon from exploding like a water balloon tossed onto barbed wire. Most people don’t realize that if you flick his bubble head you can watch it whirl like a hula hoop or Homer Simpson’s fat. Underneath the glasses he has eyes like these, hence the shades are necessary. And don’t forget the Thalidomide flipper that only contains two useful digits. Too bad he was pegged by his mother at birth as a douche. Nah.

12:52 pm August, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Uh, I’d stay away from trashing people with birth defects, Bunsen…Thalidomide flipper comes to mind…we mock the douchebags because they CHOOSE to look ridiculous, not because they are unfortunately born with a disastrous defect.

12:57 pm August, 23 Troy Tempest said...

I agree – picture 1 and 3 are sharing Douchebags.

One of them needs to go. I will not vote until this is fixed.

1:04 pm August, 23 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

After much contemplation accompanied by no small amount of mental anguish, I reluctantly vote for Snowe Blonde and the Four Dwarts. Snowe is the only likely “hott” among the contestants. However it is the Dwarts who win the prize…you have (our L to R) Scaredy, Pasty (tatted on his belly), Killah, and Guido. The four Dwarts are indeed for Douchebags!

1:05 pm August, 23 DarkSock said...

Hey, wait…I just realized that Supermoobs is in the dwarf picture. Someone needs to tell The Boss! Perhaps in the comments thread or something. Also, Denim shorts died in the 80’s.

1:06 pm August, 23 Deltus said...

Supermoobs by the sweat of his teat.

1:14 pm August, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Uh Whoop…He OBVIOUSLY doesn’t have a birth defect.. He’s CHOOSING to make a hand gesture that could be construed as possibly being related to an unfortunate use of morning sickness medication given to women in the 1950’s. That’s mockable. But the hydroencephalitis is OK?

1:18 pm August, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

If I had an erection for everytime some one referenced a physical or mental abnormality/deformity/condition/defect I’d seriously be passing out every time I got up from my desk.
.
.
Or the kitchen table.
.
.
Or the toilet after masturbating…AGAIN.

1:19 pm August, 23 Stephanie said...

Supermoobs because I simply never knew that walking orange turds could sweat so much.

1:19 pm August, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

^Me.
.
You get everytime and every time confused all the time…midget kicker.

1:21 pm August, 23 KirklandScrote said...

I gotta go with Supermoobs… white belt w/ Superman S and the color of poo. Plus I think the sweat was from thinning his eye brows down to a feminine level. That’s hard work.

JJ a close 2nd, if only the 5.0 stang convertible was in the picture.

1:52 pm August, 23 Horace Dangleballs said...

Supermoobs gets my vote by a greasy, axe-scented nipple. His utter lack of facial expression in both pictures makes me wonder if he’s had a botox overdose. I sure hope so.

2:10 pm August, 23 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

DJJJ. How much you want to bet there’s a Yankees logo on the front of that cap?

2:36 pm August, 23 doucheywallnuts said...

Supermoobs and Roofie FTW!
With apologizes to Mr Scrotato Head I pointed out last week when the second picture appeared that Supermoobs is Roofie (Aug 17, 11:09AM). Just as Dustin Hoffman fooled the world into thinking Michael Dorsey and Dorothy Michaels were two different people, Supermoobs/Roofie has done the same. For this reason alone he should be crowned DBotW. Pectoral sweat stain and profile analysis proves conclusively that these two are in fact the same douchebag.

3:01 pm August, 23 G said...

Supermoobs FTW. Anyone caught with moob sweat on camera with the douche face wins. Can the pud on the right in the green win for the group?

3:20 pm August, 23 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Supermoobs FTW. And by win I mean go get a new shirt, and maybe throw a t-shirt on underneath. Snowe Blonde is an excellent entry, however.

3:21 pm August, 23 Bob Mcadouche said...

Jerzey Jackoff appears to be playing a game of Space Invaders on his hat. With the aliens lined up all neatly in a row. Therefore, he gets my vote.

3:28 pm August, 23 Blinded by the Shite said...

Supermoobs is trying too hard for this win, his desperation shows through like an envelope filled with KFC while Snowe Blight has moved beyond the pale and isn’t worth the wastage of a poisoned pomaceous fruit.
.
D.J. Jerzey Jackoffsky and the real-worldliness of Jenny hott for the win.

5:29 pm August, 23 ehcuodouche said...

DJ Jersey Jackoff. Sorry for no more commentary I’m stuck in Jacksonville this week.

7:21 pm August, 23 tballou said...

This is like the exact opposite of last weeks HCWDBOTW – three superior douchebags, all worthy of top honors! I would say the chances are good that all will end up in the end of year competition. Have to pick one now, so its Supermoobs FTW, if for no other reason that he is a certified freak show.

8:11 pm August, 23 Captain Lame said...

My gut says Dwarts… but my gut also told me to stop in at McDonalds for breakfast this morning. My gut is a full retard. True the ‘bag force is strong in them, but Snow Blonde looks as if she is paid to pose, and thus they pose no threat. However in the case of Jackoffsky, the hot appears to be quite fond of his puffy-hat-edness, which causes anger equal to that which is felt at the end of an M. Night Shyamalan flick.
*
Jerzey FTW/FTL.

10:02 pm August, 23 Douche Springsteen said...

what is it with all these ‘bags/bleeths “flicking Vs”? I think we need to pool some money and send them all to go clubbing in London where they are apt to get a savage beating at the hands of some chavs on the east end for making that hand gesture. They’re all pretty hideous this week but I’m going with DJ JJ because his hat is the same print as some footie PJs I had when I was 3 that I hated my mom for dressing me in, and his hand is obscuring Jenny’s glorious cleavage. Unacceptable.

2:20 am August, 24 Steve L. said...

this weekly seems to be a Jerz-off (or Vegas-off, whichever). so with that said, i will have to go for Snowe Blonde and the Four Dwarts. they are everything Jerz, everything Vegas, and everything scrotapocalyptic.

3:14 pm August, 24 Architeuthis Douche said...

DJ Jerzey Jackoffsky and Jenny.

5:01 pm August, 24 Snoop Douchey Bagg said...

Snow Blonde looks like Anne Heche with a bad boob job. Not particularly hot at all.

Supermoobs looks like he’s breast-feeding and forgot to bring his breast milk pump. (Excuse me while I vomit just a bit for thinking that.)

OK, I’m back.

DJJJ is Classic Douche and Jenny is the most salvageable. DJJJ FTW

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