Sunday, August 1, 2010

How to Dance Like a Guido

Consider this the “Mein Kampf,” if you will, of Douche Frolic.

# posted by douchebag1
9:01 am August, 1 Anonymous said...

This hurts my soul. Just to make sure this isn’t douchebags.com, can we get some pear in here to even out the yin and yang?

9:15 am August, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Watched with the sound off while talking on the phone. Did I miss anything?

9:35 am August, 1 Allan said...

Bad, very bad. The only thing that stopped me from gouging my eyes out is the fact I’m in a upper body cast and could’nt reach a sharp instrument to do so with.

9:38 am August, 1 Wheezer said...

These guys didn’t put their hearts into this at all. Are they satirizing it or being serious? I think they’re on the fence about which direction they want to take.

.

This is a critical stage in a young man’s life. Do I douche or do I mock? I took the road less greased, and that has made all the difference.

9:56 am August, 1 Luke said...

oh… so that is how you clap your hands. Thanks guys!

10:30 am August, 1 Baleen said...

Stunning intro where we can see Rocco and Rocco hanging out by the dish machine. They are probably chugging down the unfinished cocktails before the glasses are cleaned. Good strategy. Unfortunately, the video is missing one vital ingredient. Gerbils. The Roccos should take a lesson from last Sunday’s rodent stuffing bagling.

10:53 am August, 1 creature said...

can they teach me how to walk like a simian? Mark Muthersbaugh nailed it 30 yrs ago, devolution… they’re moving backwards folks!

11:56 am August, 1 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Lemme see. We have Inside the Actor’s Studio with James Lipton.

And then we have “Inside the Boxer’s Warm-Up Studio” with Rocco Rocco.

12:12 pm August, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Now I now how to dance at a family reunion this week. Like a retarded binobo on a banana high. Homos.

12:54 pm August, 1 Jaques Doucheteau said...

When are they going to show us the crazy pseudo-Riverdance I-have-a-rabid-hamster-stuck-up-my-ass frolic? Wait. I take that back. I never want to see another video with these two underwear stains again.

.

Please excuse me while I go vomit all over my balls.

1:31 pm August, 1 Eliza Douchecoo said...

I couldn’t watch that more than about a minute, that stupid music was making me start to think evil thoughts. I’m sure I missed alot.

2:13 pm August, 1 Stephanie said...

I couldn’t watch the whole thing,I threw up in my mouth too.

Dancing is not flailing arm movements,like you’re drowning in mid-air, or boxing the air…they’re tards that just work in the kitchen.

4:33 pm August, 1 Captain Lame said...

Well, at least they’re not dick-slangin’…

4:43 pm August, 1 Al Anon said...

I was honored to have been invited to Chelsea Clinton’s nuptials. Unfortunately I had a little too much to drink and began dancing in a similar fashion. The Secret Service tased me, and I was told to leave the premises.

On the way out, I snuck over to the gift table and was able to retrieve the toaster-oven I had brought for the newlyweds.

5:29 pm August, 1 Anonymous said...

the “hand clap” was complex and confusing

5:38 pm August, 1 Steve said...

Not for nothing, but isn’t this site called HOT CHICKS with douchebags? I think maybe ONE video posted here has had hot chicks doing hot chick things. Every video is always guidos dancing, or guido music videos.

I mean christ, I’ll take a house a party with all the guidos shouting “WHOOOOO!!” if it means seeing hot chicks making out and/or mud wrestling.

6:17 pm August, 1 doucheywallnuts said...

Paraphrased dialog from “Arthur,” to follow.

Drunk Bar Patron:”The Russians are teaching their kids to fight and we’re teaching our douchebags to dance.”

Arthur: “You’re right.”

Drunk Bar Patron: “What do you do?”

Arthur: “I’m a dance instructor.”

6:36 pm August, 1 italian douche said...

world war 3 is up and coming

6:43 pm August, 1 DayGloGuido said...

Those guys need to be thrown ‘in’ a toaster-oven

…or alternatively the dishwasher they are siphoning for hair gel

7:43 pm August, 1 massengill said...

http://i.imgur.com/1P63V.jpg

9:27 pm August, 1 Steve L. said...

Guido hand clap? the inventors of the fist pump has outdone themselves.

10:06 pm August, 1 massengill said...

Rocco & Rocco have another project “How to Order a Cosmopolitan Without Sounding Like a Fuckin’ Faggot” that is currently in post-production.

Any chance anybody here has a crop-dusting plane that the? I’ll stand in a field wearing nothing but ski goggles and I’ll

10:09 pm August, 1 massengill said...

Fuckin iPhone murdered my post. My point being I worked outside in the humidity most of the day and have a serious chafed-taint situation. A fly-by Goldbonding would work wonders…

10:10 pm August, 1 massengill said...

So you can run and tell that, homeboy.

11:53 pm August, 1 Douchble Helix said...

I’m about 30 years older than today’s youth.

What drugs are they doing in these clubs? ‘Cause that music sucks.

11:58 pm August, 1 Douchble Helix said...

I probably shouldn’t tell you all this, but I was at Chelsea Clinton’s wedding. If only I had seen this 24 hours earlier!

4:46 am August, 2 Al Anon said...

Tramadol’s side effects include and are not limited to:

Impotence, internal bleeding, incontinence, loss of all feelings in extremities,kidney failure, failure to comunicate, failure to get your mind right, seizures, and death.

Note:

Everyone who has used Tramodol has either died, or will die.

7:09 am August, 2 ehcuodouche said...

@Douchble Helix said…I’m about 30 years older than today’s youth. What drugs are they doing in these clubs? ‘Cause that music sucks.

They don’t take drugs (steroids are not drugs, they’re vitamins). Its doubtful they even hear the music, or detect the presence of a beat, based on their dancing moves.

10:53 am August, 2 Douchble Helix said...

Hey, @ehcuodouche, there’s drugs involved.

11:49 am August, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ DB1

.

I consider this video more of a “The Turner Diaries” than “Mein Kampf”.

3:52 pm August, 2 DarkSock said...

The music sounded like an Atari 2600 getting butt-fucked.

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