Sunday, August 15, 2010

MR. FAMOU$-FROLIC

Some see a simple parking lot at 2am.

Others see a chance to shock the world with hyphy phat dance moves that are balls out stylin’, yo.

# posted by douchebag1
8:56 am August, 15 Ohio FJ said...

How come you never see cops coming over to see what all the noise is and whether the “dancer” is actually in need of medical help?

8:57 am August, 15 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

One can only hope that this was taken by the camera of a Predator Drone just before it dropped its napalm.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning, smells like…roasted douchebag.

9:00 am August, 15 scrotum pole said...

Someone put that car in drive and floor it.

9:08 am August, 15 scrotum pole said...

MR. FAMOU$-CHOLIC exclaimed something at the end of that abortion.


Was it:

a.”I’m done”

b. “I’m dumb”

c. “I cummed!”

9:10 am August, 15 Troy Tempest said...

9. T.V. IMAGE
.
The screen is filled with a TV monitors long shot of THX in the white limbo prison. He is sitting with his feet spread out in front of him. We hear an off screen voice speaking quietly with clinical authority and disinterest.
.
OS VOICE
Increase.
.
The image changes instantly to an extreme long shot. THX is merely a dot in the center of the screen.
.
OS VOICE
No… here… hold this down.
.
The image changes instantly to a close shot of THX. He is in shock staring into the white limbo. He is talking quietly to himself. We cannot hear what he is saying.
.
OS VOICE.
Audio…
.
2ND VOICE
Audio is already on.
.
THX continues to speak soundlessly.
.
2ND VOICE
I can’t hear him.
.
1ST VOICE
Cortex bonding….possible temporary. Before you report a possible equipment malfunction, you check the subjects….?
.
2ND VOICE
Stress category.
.
1ST VOICE
Correct. (pause) Origin?
.
2ND VOICE
Birth born….UMMM…Sexact.
.
1ST VOICE
Violation?
.
The numbers 3278-927. 333tjj appear on the bottom of the screen.
.
2ND VOICE
Drug evasion with….
.
1ST VOICE
triple three, triple three! easy…..
.
2ND VOICE
Drug evasion with assorted perversions
.
1ST VOICE
Correct. Now secure a sinex drop
reading.
.
We hear a low throbbing sound, but THX shows no reaction. The word psynix -4675 appears on the bottom of the screen.
.
1ST VOICE
A sinex drop reading of less then 2000 degrees with an accompanying loss of greater then 350 degrees since admission may indicate….?
.
2ND VOICE
Permant cortex bond.
.
1ST VOICE
Correct.
.
THX is still talking silently to himself.
.
1ST VOICE
This really isn’t a very good subject because with a cortex bond, we’re restricted to about a quarter of the boards potential. …..All this over here is wasted on him. See, we could run a system H…..Watch.
.
A pause, and then a high frequency sound is heard. THX begins to twitch uncontrollably, becoming more and more violent, slamming up and down against the floor. He looks terrified, but there is nothing he can do about it.
.
1ST VOICE
Normally, there would be no visual evidence of a system H. We’re not even getting a reading.
.
The numbers on the bottom of the screen read 0000. The sound changes pitch, and THX immediately huddles up in a ball.
.
1ST VOICE
HUMMMM…..
.
2ND VOICE
What happened?
.
1ST VOICE
See if you can get a reading on tactal retention. Try to estimate it without a meter reading.
.
The numbers disappear from the screen, and we switch to a closer shot of THX. There is a pause.
.
1ST VOICE
Be careful, now…..
.
THX immediately slams to the floor, paralyzed. His face turns bright red, and he appears to be in extreme pain.
.
2ND VOICE
UMMM..Let me see…..
.
THX opens his mouth to scream, but makes no sound.
.
1ST VOICE
Hurry up.
.
2ND VOICE
4732…?
.
1ST VOICE
Too low.
.
The number 6949 appears on the screen.
.
2ND VOICE
Control ON.
.
1ST VOICE
No, evidently you reversed the polarity on his lobal travel. Secure another sinex drop.
.
THX collapses into a heap, and starts to quiver. The word psynix appears, but the degree rating is rapidly climbing upward, approaching 4000.
.
1ST VOICE
4000 degrees is usually the point of….?
.
2ND VOICE
Vocasity
.
1ST VOICE
No, Tetanty.
.
THX begins to scream soon after the numbers pass 4000. The numbers keep moving steadily until they stop; oscillating between 7980 and 8040.
.
1ST VOICE
It’s very rare to see a neural bond
dissolve like that.
.
The numbers stabilize at 8020. THX is contorted into a very odd position on the floor. He is released, and he crumples into a heap..(trembling, and screaming.)
.
1ST VOICE
He’s back to normal now.
.

9:11 am August, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

The douche circling in the background enviously looked like he wanted to get in on the action. I wonder what kind of drugs these kids are taking these days that causes the after midnight, parking lot frolic? Frolicking, while disturbing, still cracks me up.

9:23 am August, 15 G said...

Now if a car drfited into the frame at the end and took the shitstain out, it would become a fail video…one can only hope…

9:24 am August, 15 Mr. White said...

What an amateur. Nobody frolics like Tonetta.

9:43 am August, 15 Wheezer said...

I’d rather watch the dog do it – at least dogs wouldn’t deny their medical conditions forcing such movements.

11:38 am August, 15 Blinded by the Shite said...

ELC
Officers 9641 and 2242 discontinue operation. Report to Thermal station 62. Present operation computed to be economically unfeasible. It is predicted that 1138 THX will self-destroy. Repeat: Abandon present operation. Dispatch to Level 56 CON-R thermal station 62, investigate toxic chemical leak.

11:46 am August, 15 Blinded by the Shite said...

@G:
.
I believe we already have an example: http://failblog.org/2010/08/03/epic-fail-video-busting-a-move-fail/

12:07 pm August, 15 Vin Douchal said...

So,.. Sunday has become Frolic Video Day? It’s not fun with a Percocet, Beer and Crown Royal hangover.
.
He’s got moves. And by moves I mean a spastic colon attached to an oscillating sprinkler

1:33 pm August, 15 Dicy said...

@Troy

Ooh, I saw that movie for the first time a couple weeks ago. I really liked it, then Netflicks suggested I watch Zardoz also, but that mostly confused me.

Also, dude in the background of this vid looks like a idiot. He probly told his bro how awesome the dance was when he finished. They all need to be annihilated.

2:10 pm August, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I grow weary of the chase Captain Kirk.

3:34 pm August, 15 Heavy D and the Bags said...

….come on ice cream truck.

4:27 pm August, 15 DarkSock said...

O if those were only my headlights he were frolicking in…

5:08 pm August, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

The rare Brothabag, caught at night doing his mating dance.
.
God Damnit, Mr. White, quit posting that dude. I’m already feeling icky.
.
@ Blinded By the Shite: That ice cream man should be given a medal.

5:09 pm August, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

Is this fuccen thing on?

5:09 pm August, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

Testes, testes, one, two, pee.

5:17 pm August, 15 DarkSock said...

And because I was forced to yell at contractors in the rainy remnants of a tropical depression all day Friday, thusly missing the Gauntlet thrown down by C. Aloysius Head regarding the loverly Naomi, might I say that I would eat my own head and shit myself out my own asshole on Live Television just for the chance that Naomi, flicking through her DirectTV channels, might see mention of it on CNN Headline News and say to herself, “Oh my, that’s TERRIBLE!”.

5:19 pm August, 15 DarkSock said...

BTW, Boss, I have an awesome TV concept to pitch for you:
.
“SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DOUCHE?”
.
No need to go into details, obviously.
.
I call dibs on the Snarky English Judge role.

5:30 pm August, 15 Mr. White said...

@darksock
I call dibs on the Paul Abdul judge role.

5:34 pm August, 15 Mr. White said...

@medusa
Seriously, I want to stop. But I can’t. Tonetta controls me.

5:36 pm August, 15 Mr. White said...

@me
Nice job on the html tagging, asshat.
.
In other news, Tonetta rules.
.
Seriously, don’t click that. It might be the worst one yet.

5:51 pm August, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ The reverse psychology! It does nothing! *cuts wrist*

6:15 pm August, 15 Troy Tempest said...

@Dicy – I often show it in class when we cover surveillance. It’s one of my top 10 movies of all time.

@Blinded – another excellent scene.

6:19 pm August, 15 Troy Tempest said...

I posted the excerpt from the screenplay because Mr Famou$ Frolic was spazzing out and it reminded me of the scene, wher eTHX1148 is spazzing out at the command of the the incompetent asshats in the mental ward. Only Mr Frolic here is spazzing out at the command of social and ecnomic forces of which he has even less understanding and control over than THX does of his own plight.

THX knows he’s a victim, and knows he’s being tortured and made fool of.

Mr Frolic thinks he’s being cool.

I think I have gangrene after watching that Frolic. Who knew it was contagious through the screen…

7:22 pm August, 15 dblpits2teste said...

I thought frolic was a word db1 made up to describe this.

Is there nothing better to do in their town?

7:33 pm August, 15 Dicy said...

@Troy Ah, I was wondering why you chose that scene. Nice parallel!

8:50 pm August, 15 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Just think of all the nasty things he ISN’T doing in the City that night, and his frolic becomes quite acceptable behavior. That’s right, I try to look at the possibly good side of things. One thing for sure, he isn’t doing a cottontail rabbit mating dance, although I’ve seen a few bunnies in my time that jump around like that on a spring or summer night, and they ain’t doin’ the Continental.

6:25 am August, 16 boondoggle said...

@Mr. White
In regards to the “Tonetta” links,

I registered just to tell you; you’re a despicable human being.

What has been seen cannot be unseen.

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

etc. etc.

6:48 am August, 16 mr.reeve said...

I watched this with my wife yesterday and after 10 seconds she looks at me and asked, “Are we really going to watch the whole thing of this dickhead dancing?”
I didn’t bother to click on Mr. White’s Tonetta videos. It probably would have gave my wife nightmares. Mr. White, you are the best. Thank you.

6:50 am August, 16 mr.reeve said...

And Naomi and P-T-P Pamela should be up for HoH considerations in my opinion.

10:52 am August, 16 DarkSock said...

“Dickhead Dancing” would be a cool band name. Or album name, at least.

10:53 am August, 16 SauceOfTheDouche said...

Whisky Tango Foxtrot

1:42 pm August, 16 Steve L. said...

hey most of our previous frolic videos were around or less than 30 seconds.
i’m not used to this.

7:39 am August, 25 AgentM said...

That’s just the Charleston set to shitty music.

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