Monday, August 30, 2010

Neil Hardy


Neil Hardy, distant second cousin twice removed of Ed, throws the phattest house parties in all of Des Moines, yo.

Oh Marsha. How can you let Neil fondle your primeness in such a sketch kitchen? It’s enough to make me slap a mongoose and juggle hamsters.

And no, those are not euphemisms for self love. I just like to abuse woodland creatures.

# posted by douchebag1
12:30 pm August, 30 Eliza Douchecoo said...

She looks like she has a nice poop area, the kind you’d defile after many IPA’s were consumed at the bar.
Neil you better clean up the damn kitchen before Moms gets home, your buddy AJ exploded a Hot Pocket in the microwave too sucka.

12:31 pm August, 30 soy bomb said...

Marsha knows she can delight any crowd whenever she demonstrates just how easy it is to lift someone off the ground who isn’t burdened with the added weight of a brain.

12:38 pm August, 30 boatbutter said...

Looking at her tennis-player torso makes me feel like John Ritter.

12:45 pm August, 30 Blinded by the Shite said...

Built like a shit brickhouse.

Him, not her.

12:49 pm August, 30 tall guy said...

Neil has practically the full douche regalia going on. Monster watch, crucifix tatt, daft hat, fully pierced (both ears – I think), the now ubiquitous Ed Hardy shirt that’s been somewhat enlivened by what looks like an undergarment, which produces the understated yet rather natty double collar effect + naff neck bling. Brilliant! To his credit though he’s clearly aware of his limitations. Observe the way he’s clutching onto Marsha. Dude, it’s a wise man who knows his limitations, however it’s a fucking genius who knows the limitations of others.

12:53 pm August, 30 Torque MuleBrow said...

I’m going with “Ram Ned’s Mitt in the sink disposal unit”. Marsha’s the only hott really working for me, although maybe it’s because I’m Monday and So Can YOU, America.

12:57 pm August, 30 douche bagel said...

she is delightful but unfortunately now needs a good bleaching. he looks like a good candidate for my chum bucket

12:57 pm August, 30 DarkSock said...

She’s built like a Sookie Stackhouse; a love pie with the crust crimped in all the right places. Without the radial tin foil pan, though.
.
He has the fruit filling.

1:03 pm August, 30 Mr. White said...

@darksock
I’m with you on Sookie, although I have to admit that I’m starting to prefer Jessica’s red-headed wiles.

1:03 pm August, 30 mr.reeve said...

He looks like a junior high school taint. Neil is too young for Marsha or Marsha is too old for Neil. Take your pick. This gal needs to lay off the crunch wraps from Taco Bell.

1:05 pm August, 30 Et Tu Douche? said...

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha, Jan is still pissed at you and for good reason now. Neil needs a line drive baseball to the face to knock off that smug privileged smile of his.

1:09 pm August, 30 smackdouche said...

Aunt Marsha always watches after her nephew Neil when his parents go to Vegas.

1:10 pm August, 30 mr.reeve said...

Marsha is not quite to Sookie’s level. Maybe if she dropped a few lbs. Sookie jumping on top of Eric in her thong and bra was outstanding. True Blood and True Blood T-Shirts

1:13 pm August, 30 mr.reeve said...

Lets try that again.

1:13 pm August, 30 Captain Garanichode said...

All I see is the Six Flags old man rockin’ Hardy gear and a Macy’s mannequin. The jebus ink resembles the stake that should be impaled upon.

1:21 pm August, 30 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Dem’s swimmin’ shoulders and arms on Marsha, who appears happy enough just to dog-paddle around that sweet piece o’ carp in da’ river o’ kitch.

1:21 pm August, 30 Crucial Head said...

Boss, I hope this so-called “abuse” of small woodland creatures doesn’t include the words “colon” and “spelunking”.
.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
.
*looks up at ceiling tiles, begins whistling and slowly backs away from the computer*

1:29 pm August, 30 Edvis said...

That’s gotta be his sister. The glazed-over look of innocence and pure lameness on his part makes it so!

1:46 pm August, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

As the co-captain of the high school swim team, Neil is known for his very slow pace and perky attitude. The underdeveloped arms are a genetic trait Neil inherited from his mother. Mother Hardy promised him a new t-shirt and sun hat if he could bench press the otherwise lovely and matronly armed Marsha ten times to improve his aquatic stamina.

1:46 pm August, 30 Tony Ventresca said...

Mmmm, matronly upper arms.
[drool, drool, stroke lick nuzzle]

2:05 pm August, 30 Southern Scrotic said...

But WTF with that hat?!?

2:36 pm August, 30 Turdacious said...

15 yr old well on his way
Ed hardy, Tatts and Grandmas hat

3:36 pm August, 30 Steve L. said...

T Grant had just found himself a soul mate.

4:02 pm August, 30 Deltus said...

She’s hott *and* physically substantial. Which generally means she wouldn’t fly across the room and hit the wall if she were sitting on my face and I happened to sneeze.

6:23 pm August, 30 the boy from brazil said...

technically db1 mongooses and hamsters are not woodland creatures, ok then, but there is no other problem the rest is as they say “sur gut” oh and Tenha um bom dia (have a nice day) my friend..

9:55 pm August, 30 Wedgie said...

That is some sorry shit. Even sorry shit thinks that’s sorry.
My dad wants his fishing hat back.

10:05 pm August, 30 Baleen said...

Junior is tryin way too hard. I hope he gets popped with ten sheets of blotter at some shitty jam band festival and ends up Leroy’s bitch in the pen. We can dream right?

10:35 am August, 31 I R A Darth Aggie said...

The mongoose claims to have kicked your ass the last time you slapped him. Dunno, just sayin’ is all.

3:10 pm August, 31 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

C’mon people. It’s obvious that Marsha is happy that her little bro made it through another round of chemo. Unfortunately for him, all the hospital had was the shit in lost and found to give him after he puked all over his other shirt.

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