Thursday, August 5, 2010

Randy Schlongson

Pink scarves and chin fung make Randy a solid stage-3 doucher.

But the real reason I’m posting this pic?

Tina. Red haired glory of leg curved glories. I would squat thrust in a paisley leotard through a quarry filled only with scorpions and old ladies playing mahjong while chanting dirty limericks in Swahili just for the chance to bitch slap the arthritic and decrepit pony currently praying for the blessed release of euthanasia that once gave her a ride at the summer carnival in St. Paul, Minnesota, in 1998.

Poor Man’s Debbie Harry, you’re okay too. I would end up neglecting you because it’s late, and I gotta get up early tomorrow, but really it’s because I eat too much sugar.

# posted by douchebag1
9:23 am August, 5 Douchble Helix said...

At least that load’s hand is in the right place.

9:32 am August, 5 chaserofthehott said...

You naughty little red head…

9:47 am August, 5 End the Haberdouchery said...

I would castrate my grandfather if it meant I could fondle her shadow.

9:51 am August, 5 Peahoal Douchemacher said...

Do I lose my mocker’s permit if I admit that I kinda like those shiny blue sneakers?

9:52 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

Those dresses force me to think long, deep and hard about the buttocks within. Much like Greyhound busses do.

9:53 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

I would Nazi Speed Kick a Hefty Bag filled with baby bunnies just for the chance to gnaw her used Q-Tip.

9:57 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

She has legs all the way up to her Jenny Talia.

9:58 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

That pink scarf makes him look like a 1:1 scale model of Plinky’s Mom’s vagina.

.

.

Hey…where has Plinky been?

9:59 am August, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

WOW!!!! Red headed Tina is smoking HOTT!!!!!!, So Hottt that my mind has drawn a complete blank with regards to mocking Randy.

.

Here’s hoping DB1 has some follow up shots of the lovely, curvaceous, suckle thighed Tina in waiting.

.

You know what Fucc Randy and that smug, I’m lucky as hell, look what I’ve got on my arm smile of his.

10:07 am August, 5 The 'Bag Piper fae Edinburgh said...

Is that Shoshanna in a ginger wig? Either way my entire laptop just became incredibly sticky.

10:07 am August, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Peahoal Douchemacher said…

“Do I lose my mocker’s permit if I admit that I kinda like those shiny blue sneakers?”

.

I would say yes but only temporary until you’ve re looked at the picture and focused on what’s important here and I’ll give you a clue. She’s got red hair!! douchey blue retro sneakers should be the last thing you’re commenting on.

10:08 am August, 5 Captain Garanichode said...

I cant pay attention to trailface … love those long legs!

10:35 am August, 5 End the Haberdouchery said...

I want her to wrap her legs around my head so I can wear her like a crown.

10:42 am August, 5 creature said...

Randy needs a fashion consultant… Red needs a ritualistic inards inspection by a creature boring tool

11:08 am August, 5 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Debbie Hary hott isn’t too shabby either. I’d take the two of them to my shady bungalow. Along with an angel food cake, half gallon peach ice cream, chocolate sprinkles, a unicycle, two quarts synthetic motor oil, rubber kitchen gloves, and an electric piano.

11:09 am August, 5 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

That provocative pose that thrusts that ass out perfectly…the shiny LONG legs…the hand placed perfectly on the hip…the Hott smile… the short, black mini dress with the open back… and Of Course the Red Hair…

.

Do I dare call for HOH? Can we get more pictorial evidence? Pretty Please??

11:13 am August, 5 Rum, Sodomy and The Douche said...

Subway should start serving her turds on footlongs.

11:14 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

I would eat the ass out of a month dead army mule just for the chance to put one of her office supplies in my mouth for 8 minutes.

11:17 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

And by office supplies I mean paper clips, Post-It’s, and what not.

11:17 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

No. 2 pencils; even scissors.

11:19 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

The fact that I can just hear her say in a perky Texas truckstop waitress drawl “Whah, Thank Yew!!!” makes me want to frolic within the forbidden cleft of her sodden grotto even more fervently.

.

HoH…?

11:21 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

Not sure if her carpet matches her drapes, but my curtain rod matches her drapes.

.

That’s a metaphor serving as sexual innuendo. You see how I did that there?

11:22 am August, 5 Justin said...

I support a HoH induction!! This could be the hottest hott of the year.

I would shave Cap’n Lou Albano’s hairy back and wear the clippings as an Abe Lincoln beard just for the chance to rummage through her bathroom trash can. I would then use her old dental floss to fashion a miniature teddy bear that would lay next me on my pillow as I cried myself to sleep.

11:39 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

I would kill and skin Abe Vigoda and run through the Senate floor as Robert Byrd, arisen again, just for the chance to…..hell, I’d do that just for shits and giggles.

.

.

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Anybody got Mr. Vigoda’s current address?

11:43 am August, 5 DarkSock said...

http://www.abevigoda.com/

11:47 am August, 5 ButterSauce said...

I dunno man, see how pinky is gently scratching the red devils ass? See that shit?! Fuck the pink scarf, tickling that bird’s ass is full of win. I’d wear two pink scarfs for the privilege to gently tap that polyester blend mini dress.

11:53 am August, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That is some high quality H20.

11:54 am August, 5 doucheywallnuts said...

Am I the only one noticing that Tina’s head seems to be turned a little too far to the left to be normal? Almost like Linda Blair’s head in the Exorcist?

http://www.best-horror-movies.com/images/Exorcist-head-spin.jpg

12:04 pm August, 5 Crucial Head said...

Somewhere in rural Minnesota, a gardner’s young Retriever yelped with hungry delight as its seed found purchase on the humid surface of his master’s backyard turf…

12:12 pm August, 5 I R A Darth Aggie said...

DB1, I hereby challenge you to the redhead by way of thumb wrestling. Loser gets the blonde.

12:47 pm August, 5 Deltus said...

Randy should be easy to mock, but frankly, I’m coming up pretty blank here. All the blood needed for my brain’s proper function has gone elsewhere, engorging my nethers from gazing upon Tina’s legs and ass. How’d you like NOT to be her blonde friend? Ordinarily she’d get lots of attention. With Tina around, though, she almost completely disappears.

12:54 pm August, 5 10InchTaint said...

douchebag or not, never trust a man with a beard and no mustache

2:44 pm August, 5 Justin said...

Someone should photoshop everyone else out of this pic and repost.

4:23 pm August, 5 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

It’s all about TINA.

All.

About.

Tina.

7:29 pm August, 5 Steve L. said...

Tina makes a good argument about replacing Friday ass pears with Friday hot rods. provided that leg pics are as easy to find as ass pics.

what? i didn’t make that argument. Tina did.

10:41 pm August, 5 Anonymous said...

Tina needs a HoH induction ASAP.

11:36 pm August, 5 Baron Von Goolo said...

Oh come on. No straight dude would dress like that. Magenta? Seriously? After all the hard-fought lessons we learned from the 80’s? No straight dude would dress like that. It’s too fabulous, and I mean that in the gayest way possible. Straight guys don’t do fabulous. Oops – sorry, gay guys – I meant they CAN’T do fabulous. There’s just no way a straight dude would dress like that.

.

Plus, big points for the A-list hags. This boy has learned to work it.

2:47 pm August, 12 The Eye of the Douchebag said...

You think those legs are great, you should see what they lead up to.

4:14 pm August, 12 Wedgie said...

Medusa, you know I love you like a sister in law. But take another look at the Schlongson pic, and tell me with a straight face that a girl with those legs and that butt has a gunt (aka: extra vaginal girth, or e.v.g.).

I defy you, oh queen of all things rubbery, to provide even one scintilla of evidence supporting your case.

No way. No fuccen way.

And she’s a redhead, as you probably noticed. A sister of the flame. I think you have wronged her unfairly, goddess.

4:17 pm August, 12 Wedgie said...

Still, no HOH at this juncture, just to be a complete hypocrite.

7:24 am August, 15 italian douche said...

With your permission DB1, the “Poor Man’s Debbie Harry” is three hundred thousand times hotter than the other.

Where the fuck did proper aesthetic taste (objective, indisputable, right, opposite to the wrong one) go.

It’s gone.

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