Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Reader Mail: South Africa Has a "Legend and an Icon"

Momoko writes in from South Africa:

—–

DB1,

This is a current pic of a guy my sister briefly went out with. He is 29 years old, just come out of rehab and has a 6 year old kid. As you can see from the pics, he’s not exactly on the wagon.

When my sister decided she didn’t want to see him again after he flaked out on her birthday party, his tactic to get her back included the beseeching phrases, “I’m a legend and an icon. You’ll never find abs like this again. I’m your big ticket to being one of the cool kids.” that is a direct quote.

PS. He changed his user name on facebook to Guido G___

– Momoko

—–

Sadly, more and more countries report Grieco Virus infestations.

Of note to ethnographers and historians in academia, the countries least effected by Grieco Virus are currently Prussia, Istanbul (not Constantinople) and Xanth. Because Grundy the Golem is having none of it.

# posted by douchebag1
11:46 am August, 3 SlowGuy said...

First sighting of the legendary Caveman Douche.

11:50 am August, 3 bigphatnotadouche said...

Nice to see that fake red hair and blue eyeliner are in style in the Southern hemisphere.

I say what abs?

11:55 am August, 3 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

He should have added “And you’ll never see a 29 year old look 42 ever again.”

.

Someone really ought to tell those ladies they’re not in 1963 England.

.

Ought is one of my favorite words..

12:00 pm August, 3 Al Anon said...

Dude in the zebra print shirt should lay off the eye shadow.

12:01 pm August, 3 Al Anon said...

Let me rephrase that:

Dude in the zebra skin shirt ought to lay off the eye shadow.

12:05 pm August, 3 Wheezer said...

I kinda like the firm boobies to the left.

.

That is all.

12:05 pm August, 3 Eliza Douchecoo said...

What do you like about South Africa Guido? “The wild women. The wild women”. “The rippin’ and the tearin’. The rippin and the tearin”.

and blue eye shadow.

12:06 pm August, 3 Wheezer said...

PS. He changed his user name on facebook to Guido G___

.

Maybe he should try “Bufufella.”

12:15 pm August, 3 DarkSock said...

A Piers Anthony reference? Dayum, Boss; when I was a D&D geek, Xanth fans were the only guys we could beat up.

12:41 pm August, 3 Deltus said...

Bhutan is still relatively Virus-free, although there are some goat herders there that have started trimming their beards in heretofor unknown fashion. Could be the very earliest warning signs.

12:41 pm August, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

There’s nothing in this picture that a rampaging herd of springboks can’t fix.

12:46 pm August, 3 Fenton Hardy said...

Ha! Think about that dude all up in your sister, owning her. How can you live with yourself? A real man would have beat some a**. You probably just said “yes, sir” and fetched him another beer.

12:47 pm August, 3 Dr. Joycelyn Elders said...

That boy is so sweet that I’s about to start mass abatin as soon as the cookout is over. I’m getting my fry on super size brothas.

12:48 pm August, 3 douche bagel said...

i think he meant to say “you’ll never find eyebrows like this again’

12:49 pm August, 3 Vin Douchal said...

He looks like Gary Shandling fucked an aborigini and the abortion lived

12:51 pm August, 3 douche bagel said...

i think he also meant to say “pool kids” refering to the steamer plinky’s mom just dropped in the toilet

12:55 pm August, 3 Captain Garanichode said...

“abs and 11 year old girl arms like these..”

12:56 pm August, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He needs a vevuzela shoved up his sewer hole. Girl on left I would Desmond her Tutus. Girl on right needs her Winnies Mandela’d.

1:17 pm August, 3 RAPETIME said...

Gotta agree with Fenton here, if a piece of shit like that had laid a hand on my sister he’d be douchebagging it up in the coma ward.

1:30 pm August, 3 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

I’d like to strip mine leftmost hott’s knolls for diamonds.

1:38 pm August, 3 italian douche said...

This is the only pic I’ve seen on this site where the girls are three hundred times more awful than the already awful douche.

2:02 pm August, 3 Horace Dangleballs said...

Great… now I’ve got Lou Rawls singing “You’ll never find abs like mine” running through my head. Damn douchebags…

2:40 pm August, 3 Mr. Biggs said...

Ah yes. I’ve always been one to give only so much weight to “addoucherements” and this is why. By first looking at the pics you’d think this guy might be able to squeeze a nottadouche pass. Then you read what he says.

Oh, and db1, when I think Istanbul, I think origin or unbuttoned shirt, hairy chest and 5 lb medallion.

3:16 pm August, 3 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Just today me and the spouse were discussing polio virus infestations of the 40’s and 50’s, and how before the vaccine folks stayed away from swimming pools in August, and parties, and movie theatres to avoid catchin’ it. We’d sit at home with a fan and an ice block listenin’ to the radio. Or playin’ cards, or just a chattin.’

Of course, that didn’t exactly work for untold thousands, even our former President Roosevelt, most famous of all polio victims, who went so far as to be infected with the virus at his summer vacation home off the coast of Maine.

But I reckon if we stayed away from enough parties and pools and theatres, we might avoid catchin’ Grieco ourselves, or at least be spared seeing its victims. Except on this site.

4:19 pm August, 3 Steve L. said...

uh oh. 6 year old kid?

normally this is when i start speculating on the kid and the mother, but i don’t want to puke today.

5:01 pm August, 3 doucheywallnuts said...

I hope this guy’s sister isn’t the bird in the stripes…Yeech.

10:27 pm August, 3 Mr. Biggs said...

Looks like he’s a legend among the blue eyeshadowed cougar circuit…

10:37 pm August, 3 Baleen said...

Poo…

12:53 am August, 4 Colossus of Choads said...

“Also, we have an eye-shadow problem…”

4:12 am August, 4 Sir David Douchenborough said...

The six year old might be trapped in that man’s eyebrows. You would need a 200 strong search and rescue team to recover the child from that thick bushy area.

4:52 am August, 4 Scroteophobic said...

I like the fact the name in the email is carefully censored but then in the bottom left of the screen grab (and the bottom right) it is left intact. Anonymity fail? Rebecca may not be too happy either…

2:00 pm August, 4 Paul Muad'douche, the Kwisatz Scroterach said...

Momoko-

I’m sorry your sister decided, however briefly, to attach herself to Dr. Wellington Yueh from David Lynch’s seminal film version of Dune.

3:45 pm August, 4 jester said...

the tallest oompa loompa known to man

12:53 pm August, 6 Maddy Mud said...

You dropped a They Might Be Giants ref. I’m a fellow nerd, I know.

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