Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Snowe Blonde and the Four Dwarts

I need a new word for these four Vegas douchepustules. And so I dub them “Dwarts.”

Part wart.

Part douche.

Fully herp.

There’s Skeezy, Pasta, Dopehead and Roofie.

Snow Blonde doesn’t stand a chance.

# posted by douchebag1
9:15 am August, 17 mr.reeve said...

Snow “Labia Minora” Blonde. Those things look large to me. The Dwarts look like Jerz Guids. F off!

9:18 am August, 17 Et Tu Douche? said...

They are all Sharts in my book, runny , oozy Sharts

9:32 am August, 17 Alfed E. Doucheman said...

I wonder which one is “Pastie” Dwart! Oh… The tummy tat gave it away…

9:39 am August, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Oh my, Four Dwarts. You must be Jewey, Flabby, Swole, and Guido. Can I stay and clean your messy shrunken penises?

9:51 am August, 17 Chevy Doucherado said...

The orange ones wouldn’t let the pastie one hang with them unless he tatooed “PASTIE” on his stomache. So he did. And he’s hanging ….for now.

9:53 am August, 17 soy bomb said...

Looks like Clown College let the kids out early today.
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Nice fake rack on the bleeth.
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I would.

9:57 am August, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mirror, Mirror on the wall. Who has the most shrunken testes of all?

In the background at the far right the Brother’s Grimm’s ghosts are chuckling about the new tales they may tell.

9:58 am August, 17 jonezy said...

.
that is the second teal/jade colored rosary necklace we’ve seen this week. Huntington bag tag had the same adouchrement.
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A plague is a brewin’…

9:58 am August, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Little Pink Flabby Tat

9:59 am August, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Rumpledforeskin

10:00 am August, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Hansel, Hansel, Hansel, and Hansel: The All Male Years

10:01 am August, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Siliconella.

10:02 am August, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Coccksucker Prince.

10:13 am August, 17 Anonymous 3:16 said...

As I’m rushed and generally not real creative anyway, I’ll only comment that this is a very seldom-seen group shot of several species of ‘bag..rare to find them not only in the same vicinity, but interacting with each other. Kudos to the ‘baghunter who managed this rare photographic evidence…

10:14 am August, 17 Baron Von Goolo said...

Check the deep furrows in ThunderMILF 5000’s face. I think we’re looking at the very real possibility of a mom posing with her son and his friends.
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Anda one anda two anda three: eeyew.

10:16 am August, 17 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

These guys are minor league douchebags, for minus the tatts and offensive hairstyles, they merely suffer from weight training syndrome. The blonde is Bleethier than they are douche because she spent so much on the fake tits.

I call that tit for tatt and say it’s even, although the shrunken balls surely dwarf their shrunken little heads.

10:18 am August, 17 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it;’s off to douche they go.

10:23 am August, 17 DarkSock said...

Lunchtime on the set of the new German scat flick “Snow Shite and the Seven Quarts”.

10:30 am August, 17 douche bagel said...

if only napalm was available on the streets

10:36 am August, 17 douche bagel said...

fuccin gross. this picture is trainwreck. just noticed the herp on his GSR. rare combo of douche for sure. poor innocent mary from gainsville just wanted to show off her new tits, now she has to get 4 warts surgically removed

10:36 am August, 17 Sack O Douche said...

Just another common scene at a VD filled Vegas pool.

10:38 am August, 17 Captain Garanichode said...

Beautiful golden cocoanuts surrounded by her son’s friends.

10:44 am August, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This “chick” looks like Chris Robinson from The Black Crowes with a bad dye job and some beachballs attached to his chest. Personally, I would have gone for the four Derps. There’s pathetic old guy Derp, Past Due Derp, Muggy Derp, and Eunuch Derp. There going to be the newest backup dancers for Tonetta’s latest video.

10:48 am August, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ douche bagel
.
Check out the Anarchist’s Cookbook. There’s lots of do-it-yourself homemade napalm recipes. Shit, just get some frozen orange juice and gasoline if you’re in a hurry. Packing peanuts (not the kind made out of starch) and nail polish removers works pretty good too.

10:49 am August, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I didn’t think implants were supposed to start at the neck. I’ll bet it sounds like a fat kid jumping on a water bed every time she swallows.

10:50 am August, 17 DarkSock said...

Lunchtime on the set of the new German scat flick “Shitty Titty Gang Bang”.

10:51 am August, 17 douche bagel said...

i gotta think that even MAVERICK would make a detour and light this place up

10:51 am August, 17 DarkSock said...

Lunchtime on the set of the new S&M flick “Hansel and Regrettal”.

10:51 am August, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The fuccen Gomer in the hat is worried about getting a tan. That’s got to be a douche first!

10:51 am August, 17 DarkSock said...

Lunchtime on the set of the new golden showers flick “On Golden Blonde”.

10:53 am August, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Original cast of The Expendables.

10:54 am August, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The stars of the new anal gangbang flick “Juranal Park” take time out to greet visitors to the set.

10:55 am August, 17 douche bagel said...

gomer was in a pinch and had to borrow grandmas bonnet… its cheaper than spf

10:56 am August, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The producer of the latest new gay WW II movie “Enemy Makes Me ‘Bate” stops by to make sure all is going well.

10:58 am August, 17 Vin Douchal said...

He lost a bet to a Mets guido. That tatt says “Pasta Fagioli”.

11:01 am August, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ myself 10:44
.
There? Really assfuck? How about theY’RE. Nimrod.

11:07 am August, 17 Troy Tempest said...

When Pasta ages and his gut grows everyone will know what he filled it with, thanks to his foresight in labeling.

11:09 am August, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The douche on the right is SuperMoobs from earlier this week. I love the telltale sign of flexing in these guidofuckchoadpuds, where they make a fist and as a result stick the thumb out in an attempt to impress.

Bowl Hat Pasty Douche has some nice man ninnies and needs to hit the gym and get on a cycle of Anavar and/or Winstrol stat!

11:13 am August, 17 Scooby Douche said...

Mark Walhberg, Charlize Theron and Edward Norton were all unavailable for the sequel to The Italian Job, so they got these guys.

Working title: The Italian Rim Job.

11:21 am August, 17 justadouchalo said...

I was thinking about getting ‘Pasta” tattooed on my gut but this jackoff ruined any hopes of me ever doing that.

That is all.

11:27 am August, 17 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

From the look of Skeezy’s cramped hand we know what he’s been doing for the past 48 hours and it ain’t Princess Areola.
.
You know I meant the chick was the Princess, right?

11:30 am August, 17 Troy Tempest said...

And that is the fakiest looking rack I’ve seen in a while. WHAT makes women like this think it’s attractive to look like she’s had weather balloons inserted in her chest? (I’m sure Medusa has something to say about this…)
.
Now, I can imagine (hell, I fucked plenty of ’em) some women feeling that their chest isn’t big enough. And in some cases, it was true – they were remarkably flat chested. For me? No big deal. NEver bothered me- I’m much more interested in other things like values, companionability, sense of humour, a general sleekness, etc. so if a girlfriend was less than amply endowed, I couldn’t care less. But some women do care about these things – they feel less “feminine” whatever-the-fuck that means. And so, OK – I can understand that – going from small A cup to a full B? Nice. I knew a girl who did that.
.
She was seriously flat as a surfboard. Could fuck like a tiger, VERY hot in bed, very skilled and passionate. But could never “keep a guy” – not because she was flat but because she hated that she was flat, and it made her really miserable to be around. So (waaay long after we split up) she saved up and went to the best Boob Mechanic she could find and bingo – instant rack – nice set of B cups. And they looked very natural. Her mood improved and she got off Prozac. Two years later she was married. Had a kid a few years back, living the life – a much happier person.
.
But Goldielocks here? It doesn’t come off as “I was born flat and needed to do something about this.” It comes off as “I’m a tired old porn queen who’s boobs have been bathed in gallons of spooge.” or “I’m a dimwitted over-tanned moron who thinks that an F-cup is the key to landing the lawyer or doctor or sports figure mom always wanted me to have.”
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Big boobs are nice – I’ve had plenty of that too – but naturals are the best – as are the women they’re attached to.
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I knew a woman (former neighbour) who had breast reduction surgery – her boobs were so huge they were giving her massive back trouble. she also had a car accident where she broke her nose. She was short – about 5’1″, but had humungous boobs – each the size of her head. She got them reduced to large C cups and got the nose straightened as well. At that point she realised she was also in terrible shape, so she went on a massive fitness kick.
.
Two years later? A total hottie… No idea where she is today… This was all a long time ago – she’d be about 60 now…

12:56 pm August, 17 DarkSock said...

big boobs are silly.

1:07 pm August, 17 Stephanie said...

Guido-An Italian-American that pretends to be Italian by: Talking with a thick New York accent; driving their cars way too fast with techno music blasting; dressing in tight clothes/valour, with their hair slicked back, gold chains, bracelets and rings and chest hair sticking out; usually being of ignorant towards gays and minorities and disrespectfull of woman; lives in Staten Island or Howard Beach, Queens; gives Italians a bad name.
And I must add: goes to the gym too much,doesn’t have a job,and is a mama’s boy. And has too much of an attitude.
If they do have a job it’s delivering pizza for their dad.

1:26 pm August, 17 Claude Douchenburg said...

Is that cowgirl fringe on her bikini top?

1:34 pm August, 17 doucheywallnuts said...

i don’t think her fake rack is egregiously fake. As a matter of fact, choadpuddery on the right has a less-genuine looking pectoral area.

1:44 pm August, 17 creature said...

“Twatoos”

2:06 pm August, 17 soy bomb said...

Well said Stephanie. Guidos are quite literally walking/frolicking stereotypes. Complete douches, all, and they love every second of it…and so should we for that matter, and give thanks the Guido collective for the hours of laughs and entertainment they’ve provided for the rest of us. So thanks again and a tip o’ the Goose to you, you Godfathers of Scrote!
.
.
.
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PASTA!

2:46 pm August, 17 Captain Lame said...

Lets play a game called: Find the biggest set of (real) ‘mam’s in the picture…

2:47 pm August, 17 Captain Lame said...

Actually that was a trick question, they’re all fake.

5:14 pm August, 17 Dicy said...

What’s with the choker hold on the hott? Is this a new douchey move we should be wary of?

6:26 pm August, 17 wolfram74 said...

Trying to figure out which one of those Goomba’s is the gheyist ?

6:32 pm August, 17 Wedgie said...

Guy on the right is Supermoobs from three pics below. He finally clued in and took the sweaty t-shirt off.
Didn’t get any better looking, though.
BTW, I like her fake boobs. They’re better than those other four boobs in this pic.

6:43 pm August, 17 Medusa Oblongata said...

A nod to Troy @ 11:30. I’m a wee bit self-loathing and I fully understand wanting to do a little of this or a little of that to improve your self-esteem. If it’s something that makes you SO miserable that you have trouble functioning (it happens to women much more than you think), then for fuck’s sake, fix it so you can have a happy life. However, if you go off like this one here and make a fucking freak out of yourself just for validation and attention, you go from one problem to another.
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I’ll confess here–in a few weeks I’ll be going to get some work done to correct a broken and deviated septum, which has led to the collapse of one of my sinus passages. Polyps are growing in there and the whole thing has become a severely uncomfortable nuisance. I have splitting headaches, frequent nosebleeds and I’m now told I snore like a chainsaw. It just so happens after the work is done to relieve me of all that, I’ll end up with a nice, straight septum and that awful bump on the bridge will be almost gone. But I warned the dude that if he pulled a Jennifer Grey on me, I was gonna come back and beat his ass.
.
I like having a big, long snoot. I like not looking like anyone else. What I don’t like is my glasses never sitting right because the bridge of my nose is so lumpy and crooked. What I don’t like is people eyeing my schnoz and asking, “So, how did THAT happen?” What I don’t like is thinking, “Damnit, I know it’s got character, but if it had 15% less character, I’d feel less like Wayne Gretzky and more like the smokin’ nerd hottie I know I am.” What I don’t like is getting all dolled up and going out, only to later see a photo of myself where the light is just perfectly wrong and the angle is just unflattering enough, the humidity was bad enough where my sinuses are swollen enough, and I look like I was in a car accident five minutes before the photo was taken. Getting this corrected will not only improve my health and disposition, but will address something that has impaired my social functioning. And by that, I mean I have refused dates, refused to go to occasions and refused to have my photo taken because I was so bothered by the way I look.
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So, I can understand the young lady here. But, jeebus. It’s one thing to go get a little work and make yourself feel more confident and happy. It’s quite another to become a caricature of a woman to steer the reactions of other people into one narrow and stupid direction.

7:48 pm August, 17 Steve L. said...

hey can the evil queen put the Dwarts to eternal slumber too?

1:34 am August, 18 skrag2112 said...

They’re all Lubemy-Poopers from the gay porno “Wonka’s Willy Is Stuck In The Chocolate Factory”.

4:02 am August, 18 Sack O Douche said...

No guys. Its Peter North on the left and the fake Barbie is gonna get a nice cream pie to her face after this picture. The other 3 are her for the gay circle jerk and cracker game. Yum yum. Eat it up.

4:11 am August, 18 Sack O Douche said...

^here for the gay circle jerk and cracker game.

8:32 am August, 18 douche bagel said...

after further inspection (this picture haunted my dreams last night) we’ve seen flexy mc gaytatt before (on the left). this pud has greased this site before, i am sure of it. wheezer come in wheezer do you copy?

11:34 pm August, 19 Wheezer said...

@douche bagel –
.
He’s not ringin’ any bells for me. I think the swing shift job and new site format have messed up my skillz, yo! Just call it “Wheezheimers.”

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