Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Sweet Caroline Makes a Poor Life Choice

And that poor choice goes by either “Bernard.” Or “B-Nar.”

Depending on whether his band, “Betty Whitesnake,” has a gig that night or not.

# posted by douchebag1
7:11 am August, 3 Douchey Smurf said...

“Betty Whitesnake”…. that is awesome.

7:13 am August, 3 Douchey Smurf said...

I wish my eyes were “disabled”.

7:16 am August, 3 douchebag1 said...

Just you and me around here this morning, Douchey Smurf. Lets get a coffee.

7:31 am August, 3 RAPETIME said...

She is a cutie. Shame about her being blind and all.

7:32 am August, 3 RAPETIME said...

Can I get in on some of that coffee action? I’m damned tired this morning.

7:32 am August, 3 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Sweet sweet Caroline, why oh why?

7:33 am August, 3 mr.reeve said...

I am here. I am on vacation in Portland. I first stopped in Redding, Ca. and this picture reminds of what I saw this last weekend. A lot of young sweet Carolines with bags like B-Nard Lick. The small town life gets the better of some of these young hots.

As for Portland, some really nice people, some really interesting ones and the beer is great.

7:35 am August, 3 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Scan that barcode in the middle of his throat and it will read “Defective”.

7:38 am August, 3 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I’m here boss. Two full days of meetings and dinners in Vancouver, BC, with the bosses. There’ll be breaks here and there. So, do I check out HCwDB or do I use the restrooms?

.

In the meantime, because I still secretly obsess about taking Medusa places she’s never been. And by never been I mean Panguich, Utah. To the tune of Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot”

.

“Lick Me In My Fart Box”

.

Well you’re a real tough hottie with a long history

Of rimming sweet butt holes, like the one in me

That’s O.K., I want you to chew it

Stick out your tongue, let my starfish screw it!

Lick Me In My Fart Box!

Why Don’t You Lick Me in My Fart Box!

Lick Me in My Fart Box!

Tongue punch Away!

.

You tongue is like a boner, in my ass pear

Forget my snatch, don’t want it there!

Make me cum, make my butt strain

I’ll get right back on your tongue again!

.

Lick Me in My Fart Box!

Why Don’t You Lick Me in My Fart Box!

Lick Me in My Fart Box!

Tongue punch Away!

.

Well you’re a real sick hottie with obscene mastery

Of punching honey farts, out of chicks like me

If you want to taste poo on your pink mouth mace

You better make sure I’m sitting on your face

.

Lick Me in My Fart Box!

Come On, Lick Me in My Fart Box!

Lick Me in My Fart Box!

Tongue punch Away!

.

Lick Me in My Fart Box!

Why Don’t You Lick Me in My Fart Box!

Lick Me in My Fart Box!

ASS-BLAM Away!

7:38 am August, 3 Eliza Douchecoo said...

For what it’s worth, his tatts are horrible, trailer park art.

7:42 am August, 3 Fatness said...

Sweet Caroline has “fuck you, daddy” eyes.

7:55 am August, 3 E-blo's Last Thought said...

@ least they’re in the right parking spot.

8:16 am August, 3 Justin said...

Ahhh, B-Nar’s bringin’ back the double gold chains. Vintage guido douche, with a modern day tattbag twist!

8:16 am August, 3 Et Tu Douche? said...

Me thinks he’s a musician in a local band in a small town in middle America and she’s just happy to have the opportunity to pose with him.

8:20 am August, 3 One for the Choad said...

Betty Whitesnake = best band name ever. Be prepared for someone to steal that in the next six months, DB1.

8:27 am August, 3 DoucheBigue said...

Sweet Caroline is just trying to help disabled B-nerd. The poor douche has evident leprosy going on plus he can’t walk straight since hos last trip to the Lakes

9:08 am August, 3 Dr. Joycelyn Elders said...

Whodat? Cracker be trying to get his fry on with that little vanilla snack. I be drinking two 40’s and mastabbating him all over the joint. Fuccking Cracker has a sweet skinny young ass for pumpin’ in the doctor’s big black ass. Little miss honkey gonna be massabatting to the N’Sync after she smokes my crack.

9:16 am August, 3 smackdouche said...

Our scene opens as B-Nar leaves the local 7-11:

Caroline: Hey, aren’t you in that band “Betty Whitesnake”

B-Nar: Sure am, Shorty.

C: You guys rock! I watched you do “Breaking the Law” between classes during “Student Appreciation Day” at Bill Clinton Tech in Little Rock.

B-Nar: I been known to kick it in Lil’ Rock, Suge.

C: I know! I sit by you in the GED math Class!! Can I have a pic for my Facebook!!

9:20 am August, 3 Bagnonymous said...

Lovely Sweet Caroline has me thinking of the song of her namesake. Except now, at the part where all those Red Sox fans yell “Bah bah baaahh!”, it goes more like the sad trombone, “Whaa.. whaa… whaaaa!”

9:23 am August, 3 scrotum pole said...

He was kicked out of several other bands including:

“Clint Black Sabbath.”

“Abe Linkin Park”

“Anne Thrax”

“Meagan Deth”

9:29 am August, 3 Vin Douchal said...

@ Mr S Head 7:38

.

That tune is like “Weird Al” Yankovic OD’ing on Viagra and Jack Daniels belted out in a trailer park community pool rest room in Yucaipa

9:50 am August, 3 douche bagel said...

the caption of this pic is very appropriate. i will go out on a limb here and give Bner a notta. he’s just too happy to have sweett caroline fall for his wanna be rockstar looks. caroline thought she would walk on the wild side and Bner is the perfect compromise. his hat is not douchey, no douchey facial expression, normal sunglasses, the gold chain is just too damn outdated to be douchey and the tatts well they’re just ugly. everything in this pic revolves around poor decisions. i see home depot in his future and grocery store in their childs

11:32 am August, 3 mr_UF said...

Rob Dyrdek’s brother!

11:44 am August, 3 anonymous said...

Her expression says “mock” to me. I think she’s a huntress, and this photo is a trophy.

11:45 am August, 3 tall guy said...

if B-Narly isn’t a weekly contender there’s no justice.

12:05 pm August, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I really think the sign behind her head says it all. Well, it would say it all if it had an arrow pointing to the right.

1:04 pm August, 3 italian douche said...

Yes. Girls in 2010 were stupid no matter their looks.

1:06 pm August, 3 Ultra Bagnus said...

Didn’t this pile of smeg used to play in Crazy Town with Shifty Doucheshock? No? Well, he looks like retarded enough to pass for it. And by ‘pass for it’ I mean ‘fool 17 year old girls into thining he used to be somebody.’

4:07 pm August, 3 Steve L. said...

when Caroline makes a poor life choice, we mourn.

but when Bernard makes a poor band choice, we laugh.

5:45 pm August, 3 Stephanie said...

Yup,I agree,he’s some local musician….cause they think they get chicks by simply being in a band….girls, they are poor losers,generally. And she’s a brat- and doing this just to piss her Dad off.

11:27 am August, 4 italian douche said...

Stephanie is talking Holy. Dudes, listen up: “girls are poor losers, generally”. Never forget that. Stop respecting losers and find the rare true women (Stephanie might be one of them) in between the losers.

.

Most men of today are losers. Why shouldn’t girls be as well? Obviously they are happy to be next to crap, for they’re crappy as well. They know and they think they cannot get better than that – they have looooow self esteem. Go beyond the appearance. Almost any woman is “ok” for a guy who is frustrated. Stop being frustrated. Stop thinking all girls are ok. They are not. They are mediocre and stupid like most men. Except those who rapresent the rarety: consider them jewels and hunt for THEM. They certainly don’t go after douchebags. And they are hundreds of times hotter, more beautiful, and also, they’re smarter.

.

Get my point, kiddos?

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