Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The Hippiebag Approves
The Hippiebag approves of D.J. Jerzey and Jenny winning the HCwDB of the Week.
The Hippiebag does not, however, approve of lurking older women fondling their boobs while he’s trying to take a pic with a ladyfriend.
That’s not cool, man.
As Gladys shuffled past, absent-mindedly scratching her flapjack and tucking her dragging fallopian tube back into its hemp harness, Theo watched in stunned silence as his hog leg detatched itself from his abdomen, raced up to the stage, and mercilessly beat the lead singer of Phish to death.
I must admit grudging admiration for his headband, which is made out of Philly blunts.
. “This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!”
In a stunning moment of drunken clarity, Manute Bol suddenly realized he really wasn’t all that into O.A.R.
Questionable HC side of the equation
While her son Harlan and his life partner Shirley were trippin’ balls and throwing dice in their imaginary technicolor casino, Maude decided to paste another blotter of Blue Meanie to her areola to see if it would make the Widespread Panic gig go by faster.
This guy again? How come nooones folded him up into a triangle and stuck him back into the closet yet? We get it Hippybag, you love the ladies…hair accessories
As his mom and obligatory African-American friend Clarence looked away in embarrassment, Todd and his girlfriend MoonFlower wildly slapped the still-writhing halibut sticking out of James Carville’s bare upturned ass cheeks.
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.
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what?
“F*ck it,” thought General Custer, as the effects of the peace pipe began to kick in and the rythim of the indian drum circle caught up with his hallucinations, “who needs Montana anyways.”
1969 – Fillmore West, San Francisco: Colonel Sanders discovers the 11th “secret herb”.
I say more hipster than hippie. Either way, they both are chronically unemployed, have horrid personal hygiene, talk all day about stupid shit that happened 20 years before they were born, attach themselves to political causes that make no sense, even to themselves, and try way too hard to use smug to get laid.
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I retract my initial statement. Carry on.
Jason and Jenny frolicked away on the front row, unaware that their secret side-stage tryst had lodged her merkin firmly on his mandible.
Enraged by the wanton display of Jazz Hands, Aunt Maude ripped off her right tit and hurled it at the back of Hipster Jim’s head with a wet “SPOP!” sound.
“GAHHH MY EYES…I CAN SEE HELL..BAD TRIP, BAD TRIP…Hey, there’s Jerry! HEY MISTER GARCIA!!! W00t !!11!!”
Occasionally Jim Martin would think back wistfully to his days in Faith No More, but he never regretted his decision to become a pro Whack-A-Mole competitor.
Here we see the rarely executed “Phish Slap”.
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sorry. I’ll go get lunch now…
As their trip settled into an irie vibe, Levi and Gertrude waved to the two women fucking the polar bear on the dance floor below.
The timing wasn’t perfect, But with his left arm inserted clear up to the elbow, Jim Hensen knew he’d get the hang of his new Milfet Phloosie sooner rather than later.
While prepping for his next roll as a hippie burn out living in Topanga Canyon, Mathew McConauphey found it helpful to practice with locals.
I’m pretty sure I did nitrous, smoked some schwag & suffered through a few Natty Lights with this guy in a parking lot prior to the 87 Silver Stadium Dead show in Rochester, NY. We had a spirited debate on who, theoretically, would be a hotter girlfriend, a Sugar Magnolia or a Scarlett Begonia. The conversation came to an abrupt end when he hit his nitrous balloon a little too hard causing him to temporarily pass out and fall ass backwards hitting his head on the bumper of beat up 72 VW bus. Man those were the days.
^McConaughy
I peed on his rug once.
Brother Darryl tries to blend in by drinking out of a pretend cup, while nervously planning his exit.
The sign out front said ” NAACP Here!”
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Unfortunately, he finds himself in the middle of the National Aryan Alliance Community Picnic.
Owen Wilson, in the upcoming Olestra-sponsored Dennis Hopper Biopic “Greasy Slider”.
Hey, careful, man, there’s a beverage here.
@ Drizzle
Fo Schizzle Drizzle, Fo Schizzle. Hey Drizzle I heard the DEA is hiring an Ebonics translator from your command of prose & deft abilities on the keypad of your “Smart Phone” I would think you would be a great candidate
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http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/aug/23/anti-drug-agency-seeks-translators-fluent-ebonics/
Damnit. I just realized I missed a chance to use the word Flaggot in a a sentence. So if you fellow mockers would be so forgiving as to grant me a second chance I would like to add, “This flaggot again?”to my previous insult.
@Medusa, if it wasn’t for smug, I’d never get laid. Smug is the drug for me.
Gerald and Constance huddled closely together and touched the bubble that protected them from the nihilists that milled about the room.
I liked him a lot better when he was served up with a side dish of Aqua Pear. *sigh*
DAMN HIPPIES! DONT THEY KNOW THAT WORLD PEACE AND LOVE WENT TO SHIT AFTER ‘NAM?!
Hippiebag and a notta hotta.
what kind of hippie bag wears the stars and stripes?
if he wears the stars and stripes, he probably (read: very likely) waves the Confederate flag.
that being said, he hangs with some fine ladies. i hope he gets raped by the older fat chick behind him.
Someone needs to introduce this chump to some good old fashioned, night-stick involved police brutality. That should help him relive the 60s.
Ah…he’s just looking for score some pot,and says “Hi Mom” while everyone in the room ignores them.
So what did he do with his previous Hot Chick? That’s not fair! Tha-
Wait, that means she’s available. Hmm… hold on, I’ve got a thing to do.