Tuesday, August 10, 2010

This Week in Basebaggery

Houston, we have a douchebag.

# posted by douchebag1
1:13 pm August, 10 straightgrain said...

true douche.

1:13 pm August, 10 Vin Douchal said...

That video will be pulled by MLB in 5-4-3-2-1 ….

1:14 pm August, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Later that night, the fat broad with the white shirt on macks on the little blondie in the family rest room

1:17 pm August, 10 Eliza Douchecoo said...

I don’t think so Vin, I watched this earlier on MLB.TV….and the guys a douche, every one knows you protect the girl you’re with in hopes of getting to second base with her on her mom’s couch later that night. (note the baseball reference, nice)

1:17 pm August, 10 colonel dickmore said...

I just kicked my girlfriend in the balls.

1:18 pm August, 10 colonel dickmore said...

WOW! I just watched the whole thing. That guy is a DICK!

1:22 pm August, 10 Eliza Douchecoo said...

You can look at this in a couple of different ways:
1. the guy’s a dick for not getting the ball
2. the guy’s a dick for not getting the ball, but she is the only one just sitting there NOT getting out of the way.
She’s super cute…but dumb as a box of rocks.

1:32 pm August, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

What a fuccen cunt! And then he goes for the baseball??? I’ve nearly gotten decapitated trying to block a hockey puck from hitting Mrs. Doc Bunsen (like Don Cherry said, “Pay attention, you’re at a hockey game for chrissakes!”) and this little bitch’s excuse is “I lost it in the lights”? You gotta be kidding me.

1:37 pm August, 10 Blinded by the Shite said...

I can lipread, and the guy is saying :”I’ll get a cup of ice for your arm” and “How would you like to keep the ball, seeing as how it hit you after I pussied out at the latest moment”, just because he’s not a massive cunthair. Am I right?

I’ve been hit in the eye by a baseball, and it wasn’t fun. Mind you, neither is baseball.

1:38 pm August, 10 mr.reeve said...

I love that they decided to mock the hell out of him on live TV. Bravo to you Astros. What a pussy! She has bigger balls than he does. Maybe the lights got in his eyes. That’s why you wear your hat forward, Bo.

1:39 pm August, 10 Blinded by the Shite said...

Hey, chickenshit, Meatclown Matt called, he wants his hat back.

1:49 pm August, 10 End the Haberdouchery said...

Hey darlin’, find a boyfriend with hand-eye coordination and without a uterus next time.

1:49 pm August, 10 Eliza Douchecoo said...

…and meatclown Matt would have stopped the ball…with his head.

1:51 pm August, 10 scrotum pole said...

Steve Bartman thought that was ill-advised.

1:54 pm August, 10 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Jeffrey Maier couldn’t be reached for comment.

1:54 pm August, 10 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Lucky it was an Astro’s game and there are plenty of empty seats so Douche could jump out of the way. What a pussy. Nice boobage on the announcer.

1:55 pm August, 10 boatbutter said...

I’d like to have that reporter talk into my microphone.

2:04 pm August, 10 chaserofthehott said...

What a fuck tard, trun your hat around you pussy and grow and pair.

2:17 pm August, 10 Steve said...

Not sure if she’ll break up with him considering the way she talks. Dumb bitches like that love fratbags like him. However, if this video gets popular and other hotties refuse to date him (including Miss Tennessee 2013 here) then good. One less negative strand of DNA to be passed on.

Oh and here’s a tip bro, try wearing your hat forwards and maybe the lights won’t blind you.

2:20 pm August, 10 Vin Douchal said...

The reporter should have cockk punched him at the end

2:21 pm August, 10 Et Tu Douche? said...

What an Ass-Troll that guy is, I still bet he got some from her after the game and kept the ball.
.
@Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
.
Don Cherry rules!!! I met himin the old Gahden one timeand he couldn’t of been nicer

2:25 pm August, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
.
“…like a little chicken.”
.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! SNORT!!
.
hee hee hee! [wipes tears from eyes] hee hee!
.
HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

2:26 pm August, 10 massengill said...

You can see Matt Stafford at 0:04.

2:26 pm August, 10 massengill said...

Strike three, grab a douche.

2:30 pm August, 10 DarkSock said...

John Largeman just couldn’t bring himself to ditch the beer and dog so he could get over to her in time. To this day he is chagrined.
.
.
VIn’s right. Edward R. Murrow, Kronkite, hell, even Dan Rather would have cock punched him. Connie Chung would have neck punched him at the very least.

2:33 pm August, 10 DarkSock said...

Even his parents hate him.
dsf
And his brother.
errye

2:34 pm August, 10 Jaan Kanellis said...

PUSSY

2:37 pm August, 10 DarkSock said...

Even THIS dude is dissing on him:
sgrwerwe

2:40 pm August, 10 DarkSock said...

That horse I peed in once came out of hiding just to say “Pussy” to this guy.
sdf

2:42 pm August, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Anderson Cooper however, would have looked compassionately in his eyes while gently massaging his knee. Not her knee, his knee.

2:45 pm August, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

This guy says you’re a bigger pussy than he’ll ever be.
.

2:50 pm August, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Hell, even Robin Meade would’ve trapped that ball betwixt her large fake hooters and then talked that fool to death.

2:56 pm August, 10 doucheywallnuts said...

I think it’s fitting that Jeff Bagwell played for the Astros.

http://thejockitch.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/jeff-bagwell.jpg

3:16 pm August, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Heidi Watney would have brought Tim Bogar up to this pussy to send him in from third even though an anvil was falling from a passing plane

3:19 pm August, 10 Vin Douchal said...

^ directly in his path

3:31 pm August, 10 Vin Douchal said...

I love Heidi. I must admit , I’ve never heard a word she’s ever said because I drift off into debauched sexual scenarios with her whenever she’s on screen


.
More Heidi

3:39 pm August, 10 soy bomb said...

Hahaha. I was just about to send this video in. Someone beat me to it.
.
.
.
.
.
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I’m glad he’s wearing the “Legit” wristband so that everyone can be sure that he’s a grade-A, certified, top of the class tool.

4:03 pm August, 10 Vin Douchal said...

After the game, Bo went to his night job fronting “The Gaye Caballeros” dance troupe

4:09 pm August, 10 Horace Dangleballs said...

Do we now have a new category of douche… “The DoucheBo?”

If you’re going to sit in the lower boxes you GOTS to pay attention else some pull hitter puts you in the ER with a stoved-in cranium. Of course, with DoucheBo it wouldn’t make much difference anyway…

4:17 pm August, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Patti Anne Brown , Fox News Network, adjusting her jumblies on the air ( I think it’s cold in there):
.

4:20 pm August, 10 Horace Dangleballs said...

^ @ Vin Douchal

Rick Pitino just spent 15 seconds watching that clip… and then he was all done for the night.

4:25 pm August, 10 Troy Tempest said...

Because I’m a totally cool guy, you can download the video here:

http://ifile.it/jwhf6m0

and watch it over and over.

You’re welcome.

4:28 pm August, 10 Wedgie said...

Nice to see some Texas chivalry. Your great great grandfather died at the Alamo so you could duck a baseball and let it hit your date. Candy ass.

4:37 pm August, 10 Fenton Hardy said...

Little bit of a pansy move on his part but the girlfriend is sitting there, completely clueless. Anyway, he showed admirable restrain not shoving the ball down the reporter’s throat. Who says chivalry is dead?

5:31 pm August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Cocckrash.

5:32 pm August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And I likey Vin’s new video tool.

5:49 pm August, 10 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Darn, that Patti Ann used to be so sweet. Now she’s skankin’ with the rest of ‘em.

I dunno what that baseball douchetwat thinks he’s up to, but what really puzzles me is, why is his girlfriend playing ball with him?

9:16 pm August, 10 Lil' Fartknocker said...

Lady Sportscaster in his face…calling him a chicken…all 38 of his IQs couldn’t do better than a retarded, nervous laugh…Ricky Retardouche.

I agree…nice boobage on Miss Sassafrass the reporter chickee.

10:08 pm August, 10 Steve L. said...

this guy should be stoned to unsconsciousness. with baseballs.
suddenly, stoning had become an appropriate punishment.
for douchebags, that is.

10:43 pm August, 10 Guid is Good said...

Serves her right.

1:26 am August, 11 the Success Ladder said...

Thank you very much for sharing this. I have subscribed to your RSS feed. Please keep up the good work.

3:27 am August, 11 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Somehow I feel if she marries this tool it won’t be the last time to sustains injury and feels pain.

4:17 am August, 11 scrotum pole said...

Vin 4:17

Those boobs were fair and balanced.

Actually, they’re even better than fair.

6:18 am August, 11 Hong Kong Douchey said...

I think I’ve seen this ‘bag around town. Oh, wait, he looks like half the males 18-26 that I see around Houston. While she may be a little S-L-O-W, her cuteness alone demands that you do your best Presidential Secret Service Agent dive in front of a bullet for the off chance of later seeing her in her skivvies.

6:38 am August, 11 Sack O Douche said...

What a real man you are Bo. Diving out of the way of a baseball and letting your chick get nailed in the forearm. It takes a special kind of man to do such a thing. I believe the term is called “eunuch”.

7:20 am August, 11 doucheywallnuts said...

So can we have a video entry for DBotW? If it’s never happened before, I think it’s time….

8:11 am August, 11 Bagnonymous said...

All I need to know is: could I please buy tickets for those exact same seats only to have my wife get hit by a baseball, get visited by that same reporter, and then immediately have said reporter break out into a ferocious 3-way with us? ‘Cause, you know, I’d be cool with that.
.
Houston Douchebag is the worst thing to happen to baseball since Bud Selig’s complacent neglect in addressing the steroid controversy or–more recently–regulating his shitty-ass umpires that blow important calls in even more important games.

8:19 am August, 11 Bagnonymous said...

PS. doucheywallnuts makes a good point–it’s time we jump into the 19th century and institute a “douchiest video” Douchie award this year.
.
I’d be happy to take all the credit for it, too–you can name it the “Honorary Memorial Douchiest Video in Honor of the Reverend ‘Baghunter Donovan Bagnonymous Mastersson, III, esq.”

8:40 am August, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Bagnonymous ^
.
Would frolicking videos appear in that category or would they make up their own? I’d hate to have you connected in any way, shape or form with those. Maybe we should give the frolicking videos the “Mr. White’s Dance Party Video of the Year” award. What thinkest thou?

9:35 am August, 11 Mr. Biggs said...

And yet, she still sticks with him. Kinda foretells their future child custody situation.

9:48 am August, 11 MILLS said...

This video beggers belief, i mean wat are the chances of such a dumb scenario involving such dumb characters and such dumb commentary, only in the good ol u.s of a would a sports event involve spending more time interviewing douches and their dates than the actual game itself whilst giving a running commentary on events as trivial as the current relationship and love life of a fan who got hit by a ball, suprised they didnt interview their parents,grandma, pet dog and first grade teacher during halftime. oh and he should try saying the excuse “I was looking at the lights” to christian bale im sure he’d have something to say about that..

10:06 am August, 11 creature said...

John Kruk responded, “what a tool!” on Baseball Tonight…. well said Krukkie!

10:23 am August, 11 Bagnonymous said...

@ Doc Bunsen:
Perhaps we should keep those separate, lest people think that I were the one dancing in those gawd-awful self-homo-absorbed basement videos. But on the other hand–maybe if there’s royalties involved from having my name associated with it (hint, DB1) I’ll take whatever I can get. (Doucheywallnuts who? No, never met the guy…)

10:25 am August, 11 Bagnonymous said...

@ creature:
I’m surprised Krukkie could manage getting any words out, what with all those doughnuts stuffed in his mouth…
.
I keed, I keed…

11:52 am August, 11 justadouchalo said...

Just watched this; fantastic. Moron gets taunted by his date for bailing and shrieking like a wee lass. Is he wearing makeup?

Off topic, a fine week boss. The hots were hot, the douchebags were douchey and the mocking was top shelf. Well done to all hands.

1:38 pm August, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

His punishment should be relegation to towel boy, while watching his woman shower with the entire team.
.
And then for being so catty on air, the reporter’s punishment should be showering with me. Not the golden kind, either.

1:39 pm August, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

Blondie: “Baby, what’s that noise?”
.
That’s just the death rattle of chivalry.

4:36 pm August, 11 Captain Lame said...

“So this is planet Hoo-stan?” inquired General Zod.

Pathetic earthling Douches. Kneel before Zod!!!

7:02 pm August, 11 Stephanie said...

God,whatta wimp! He could have caught that ball easily.

8:47 pm August, 11 xoffender said...

@MILLS

you obviously haven’t seen the las-tros play this yr. that video was the highlight of the game

4:03 am August, 12 wonderdouche twin said...

They are going to be on the CBS Early show today, so his douchness will be on TV for all to see yet again!!

11:51 am August, 12 MILLS said...

@ xoffender oh well that explains a lot then. yeh always was more of a yankees/dodgers fan really, but unfortunately there will never be another joe di maggio, just jason giambi.. urgh

2:39 pm August, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said...

http://news.mydaily.com/2010/08/12/man-up/?icid=main|htmlws-main-n|dl7|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fnews.mydaily.com%2F2010%2F08%2F12%2Fman-up%2F

video of douchebag and bleeth on the morning show…wow what a couple of idiots…

5:13 pm August, 12 Oops said...

She already dumped him

15 minutes officially are up

1:48 am August, 13 Sumpm said...

It was a total douchebag move, but I’m sure if any of us spent more than 5 minutes with his girlfriend, we’d have no problem doing the same thing.

10:57 am August, 13 ep3 said...

Sorry but she has ugly toothpick skinny legs. they have no shape to them. They look like ken-dolls. Or that she looks in the mirror everyday and sees a fat face and the starvation diet is wasting away muscle in her legs. I enjoy a phatty with nice thick muscular legs.

And yes, he is a douche.

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