Thursday, September 2, 2010

“American Typhus”

With a self-reflexive homage to Grant Wood’s American Gothic I dub my latest work of art, “American Typhus.”

It will be included as part of my highly influential gallery show, “Your Tattoo Looks Like Ass, But Not Ass Pear” to be held at the Guggenheim Museum in New York in 2023.

# posted by douchebag1
1:09 pm September, 2 fatness said...

*pop*
.
*pop*
.
There. Now that my eyes are gone this looks a lot better.

1:10 pm September, 2 Medusa Oblongata said...

The woman in Grant Wood’s painting is his sister, the man is his dentist. The house actually stands in Iowa. I say a better tribute to Grant Wood would be to act like a dentist and hammer his teeth out.

1:10 pm September, 2 mr.reeve said...

Bud Light Lime, Speedo and Roid Veins all in one picture. This guy is at the top of the food chain of bags.

1:11 pm September, 2 Medusa Oblongata said...

The wrong person is shirtless in this pic, by the way.

1:12 pm September, 2 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ And if I would have clicked the link I would have seen that you already informed us of that. Smarty-pants art cunt FTL.

1:15 pm September, 2 NukeTheShore said...

That’s his lucky Conductor’s Cap that he sports whilst “running a train on that broad with my bros.”

1:15 pm September, 2 Vin Douchal said...

You fat bloated eeediot

1:17 pm September, 2 NukeTheShore said...

I am deeply saddened that WordPress says I don’t exist and therefore cannot change my stupid MSN-like avatar. *sighhhh*

1:18 pm September, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Test:
.

1:18 pm September, 2 Vin Douchal said...

close, eh?

1:20 pm September, 2 Vin Douchal said...
1:20 pm September, 2 Edvis said...

I bet he has a small dick.

I bet she does too!

1:22 pm September, 2 YG said...

Can’t you just hear the conversation that lead up to this pic?

DB: “Dude, let’s do that picture…you know, with the two old people in it…”
DBaugette: “Uhhh…like, they’re in front of a barn or something? I think that was done in Canada or one of the other Midwest States…”
DB: “Yeah, with the two old people, and the guy’s got a rake or a comb or something in his hand. C’mon, I’ll take off my shirt…”

1:22 pm September, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Once more, then I quit
.

1:24 pm September, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Shit!

1:31 pm September, 2 G said...

The Captain and Tenille’bag stop for a moment to pose on this auspicious occasion before the Captain methodically inserts the rake into his ass, as a warm up for the beer can…

1:32 pm September, 2 collosus of choads said...

DB1 let these guys off the hook.
That’s a good photo.

1:34 pm September, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Unbeknownst to them, Darksock thrusts out his hand containing the child’s garden rake that he uses to to clean any detritus out of the horse before commencing micturation. Sharon was heard to remark, “Damn dude, you better stop drinking that Miller Lite with that lime shit in it.”

1:37 pm September, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

In all honesty, this guy reminds me of the choad I had for a class in grad school. He got thrown out of his previous place of employment for knocking up one of his grad students that he later married. Has that same smug holier-than-thou look on his fuccen face. God I hated that asshole.

1:39 pm September, 2 Sack O Douche said...

Heh. That is one giant bag with one tiny package. The hot needs to remove her shirt. We have been robbed!

1:48 pm September, 2 tall guy said...

Dude’s semi-old bag. Plus he needs to lay off the ham. And what’s she looking so hoighty toighty about? Umm, you’re with him, love…

1:58 pm September, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Damn you Dr. Bunsen again.

As Val had eaten corn the previous night, he had an annoying tickle in his upper colon area. An area so loose that a kiddie yard rake was the smallest thing he could use to scratch.

Bud light lime=homosex.

Shower cap=I don’t fuccking know.

Bitch tits=former college Greco-Roman wrestler with Brock Lesnar.

2:01 pm September, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

His package is so small it has been de-listed as a penis by the Hubble scientists.

2:12 pm September, 2 tall guy said...

+ there’s a groin shave reveal going on.

2:31 pm September, 2 Troy Tempest said...

True scrotebags are the douche for me
Planned living is alright for me
Axe stinking up the country side
Keep Scottsdale just give me a frolic ride

With some bleeth is where I’d rather stay
I love to smell Axe all day
I’m allergic to hackey sack
Real Doll I love you
But give me a big fake rack

The Stores!
The Whores!

Cheap sex!
Train wrecks!

Flat abs!
The Crabs!

You are my bleeth!
Goodbye natural teeth!
True Scrotebags we are there!

2:36 pm September, 2 tall guy said...

correction: instead of laying off the ham, maybe he ought to refrain from second helpings at the Gillett, Arkansas County Annual ‘coon supper.
(I’m reading a book entitled Twain’s Feast by Andrew Beahrs, hence the knowledge of such rural delicacies).

2:46 pm September, 2 fatness said...

@Troy: That needs to go into Scrotato Head’s Epic Comments Hall of Mock in the forum. Brilliant!

2:59 pm September, 2 Captain Garanichode said...

claw hammer him in the grapes and move on…..

3:06 pm September, 2 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@fatness^
.
Why, put it in then! And I agree. Outstanding.
.
Can’t say I feel bad for this couple when DarkSock arrived seconds later in his boat…
.

3:18 pm September, 2 Vin Douchal said...

What’s with the old bag thing? He ain’t that old. Gator. Now that’s an old douchebag.

3:29 pm September, 2 I R A Darth Aggie said...

DEER LORD. I’m going to have to get my booster shots.

4:00 pm September, 2 DarkSock said...

@ Scrotato:
.
Oh yeah, I remember them now. Nice couple. Slow moving, though. Too bad.

4:01 pm September, 2 DarkSock said...

The Captain and Toenail.

4:02 pm September, 2 DarkSock said...

Dammit Vin you Vicodin addled swine I have a chorus of Rens insulting me every time I reload.
.
.
.
Cool.

4:48 pm September, 2 Vin Douchal said...

@ D Sockk
.
I was experimenting. It still doesn’t work for me…

4:57 pm September, 2 Jacques Doucheteau said...
5:00 pm September, 2 Jacques Doucheteau said...

My reaction exactly.

5:37 pm September, 2 Troy Tempest said...

Thanks to all. It was fun. I don’t “do the forum” – I barely have time for what I do here at all. So feel free to put it there somewhere…

5:39 pm September, 2 Troy Tempest said...

Also, I think this is a definite contender for the Guggenheim award at the end of the year.

5:42 pm September, 2 Troy Tempest said...

Speaking of the gugenheim award – we haven’t seen anything as abject as Still Life with Coors Lite. This one is good, but it’s a bit contrived. SLwCL was in a class of its own….

5:46 pm September, 2 fatness said...

@ Mr. Head. Done.

6:04 pm September, 2 Wedgie said...

She’s overdressed; he’s underdressed. Wrong, just plain wrong.
On the plus side, I didn’t know Sansabelt made a marble bag. You learn something new every day around here.

8:11 pm September, 2 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Then shadow under his left moob is the finest natural detail. Everything else is artifice except the damn typhoid fever incurred from raking cat poop in the beach sand by the boat house on the bay.

8:15 pm September, 2 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

American Grope-ic

8:16 pm September, 2 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

American Crotch-Itch

8:17 pm September, 2 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

American Goth, ICK!

8:19 pm September, 2 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

GRANTed, there ain’t much WOOD under that black Speedo…

8:20 pm September, 2 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

By the hats alone, we know who’s the captain and who’s the scullery maid in this photo.

9:24 pm September, 2 creature said...

nice cans on Toni Tenille wannabe… i’d stick the wrong end of that rake up her pooper… & she would thank me!

9:43 pm September, 2 Wedgie said...

“Do you think this rake makes me look fat?”

11:17 pm September, 2 Stephanie said...

Caption the photo: Our picnic in the poontang mountains of Arkansas. Right after that, we had the hog calling contest. Yeah, it was fun.

12:17 am September, 3 Steve L. said...

just looking at this pic gave me typhus. who thought that enshrining infectious bacteria in a work of art is such a swell idea?

12:26 am September, 3 iDouche said...

I’d like to rake him…………with a burst of fire from a gatlin gun loaded with rats teeth.

7:02 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

“Green Chancres”

8:45 am September, 3 doucheywallnuts said...

You gotta love the Douchebag who doesn’t take himself too seriously. Most juicehead d-bags are waaaay too cool to engage in such Tomfoolery.

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