Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Ask DB1: Yankee Caps

PIC DELETED

—–
Question (unsure if this has been asked on HCwDB yet):

If someone is wearing a non-standard (meaning not the original Navy blue with the standard white interlocking NY logo) Yankees hat, are they auto-douche?

Thanks as usual,
Doo Schnozzle

——

Yes. Yes they are.

And, on the flip, Pink Red Sox caps are auto ‘baguette on the ladies.

# posted by douchebag1
1:59 pm September, 22 jonezy said...

Full jersey formal prom clothes sometimes get a pass though

2:04 pm September, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

Will someone please tell me what it is with women and Boston Red Sox? Seriously.

2:06 pm September, 22 Vin Douchal said...

Anyone wearing a Yankee cap in SoCal that doesn’t hail from within walking distance of the 10451 zip code is auto-douche.
.
Anyone that wears a Yankee hat because they like the style is auto-dickface
.
Very few people can pull off the Pink BoSox hat. I’m thinking Jerry Remy, Kevin Youkilis, Demi Moore, Vince Macmahon, Miss Universe 1999 , Michelle Obama and Phil Spector

2:09 pm September, 22 Vin Douchal said...

And is you don’t have enough reasons to puke / gouge out your eyes with a rusty swiss army knife / jump in front of a bus, the Jersey Shore nitwits are in GQ Magazine this month.

2:14 pm September, 22 jonezy said...

Holy Shit!
.
This just in
.
Fucking Ridiculous

2:16 pm September, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

My golden retreiver has a pink BoSox hat. Why the fucck did I buy that in my six glorious hours in Boston. What a douche! All she ever eats is chowda. Only chowda she eats is Union Oyster House recipe bowl size with a side of cherrystones. Friggin dog.

2:25 pm September, 22 Lord Douchebag's Lady said...

Fucccc! I admit to owning a red San Diego hat. And I definitely wear it to bed with long haired brunettes who’ve got daddy issues.

2:27 pm September, 22 DarkSock said...

Tammy still loved Dirk, in spite of his shredded arms, scarred from years of jacking off Rabbi’s badgers.

2:40 pm September, 22 Stevie Ray Douche said...

Thoughts on the yankee hat: I think a pass must be given to Jay-Z. After all, he “made a yankees hat more famous than a yankee can”. And…while some of his look may be douchey, it was he who created it. I argue that it only becomes truly douchey when copied by cul-de-sacs full of auto pud.
What say you?

2:53 pm September, 22 DarkSock said...

Travis Barker’s skin donor and Blink 182 fan Dirk McGirk cherished the last evening of having flesh on his arms with his best girl.

2:54 pm September, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I cite the case of Douchal and HoneyDouche vs. Anyone and Everyone Wearing a Yankmees hat… The jury in this case found overwhelming evidence for the fact that just merely wearing said object makes the wearer vis-a-vis a said “douchebag”. The jury even offered to go a step further and allow anyone to terminate said wearer with extreme prejudice under certain circumstances. This usually means anyone wearing said hat who is breathing. Even just a little bit.

3:13 pm September, 22 DarkSock said...

What if his body only consisted of what you see here: Head, neck and two arms terminating into a large central sausage, or perhaps an Aunt Jemima syrup container.
.
That motherfucker would be able to outrun a cheetah, that’s what. and it would look HILARIOUS. Especially with a cape on.

3:16 pm September, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The poor person who works in housekeeping should get a hazmat suit and paid triple what they normally get for having to clean up that pile of asscrack smegma.

3:29 pm September, 22 Nancy Dreuche said...

It may be because I’m just a simple lass who enjoys life simple pleasures, i.e. clowning on assclowns, snackin’ on sandwiches, and watching the tide roll in. But I digress, and my point is thus. Don’t baseball teams or sports teams in general pick certain colors to represent themselves, hence the term “team colors”? As in those are the colors they chose to represent the team they are currently part of. I guess what I’m saying is you don’t see any Bloods wearing Perriwinkle Blue T-shirts now do you?

@Stevie Ray Douche, I agree, a pass is currently being granted to Jay-Z. The Yankee hat trend became lame when the wiggas adopted it. Damn wiggas, get your own identities. Peace out, yo. Also, word.

3:44 pm September, 22 Wedgie said...

^Well said, lassie.
BTW, is that guy in the pic sporting a likeness of Crucial Head on his left forearm?
Just askin’.

3:46 pm September, 22 scrotum pole said...

Jeffery Dahmer, playfully cavorting with the most lifelike of his many severed heads.

3:54 pm September, 22 system of a douche said...

With one last grunt, Melissa managed to get Jeremy into bed. He’s been having trouble getting around these days after that unfortunate combine accident.

4:02 pm September, 22 mr.reeve said...

Fuck both teams, their fans (which is half my family) and those lame ass hats.
Hey, has anyone seen my pink Angels baseball hat by any chance?

4:09 pm September, 22 Floyd Gondolli said...

I like simple pleasures, like butter in my ass, lollipops in my mouth. That’s just me. That’s just something that I enjoy.

4:14 pm September, 22 system of a douche said...

Auto-douche for non-regulation colored caps.

Supreme asswipery for flat brims, with extra points for the RET. (Ridiculous Ear Tuck).

4:19 pm September, 22 Horace Dangleballs said...

Death to the Pink Hats.

5:00 pm September, 22 End the Haberdouchery said...

Those are the cutest Siamese twins I have ever seen.

6:41 pm September, 22 retard said...

Props to Floyd Gondoli – love the Boogie Nights references.

7:26 pm September, 22 Troy Tempest said...

What everyone seems to have missed:
.
He’s naked. But he’s wearing a fucking baseball cap. Indoors.

That’s what makes him a hyper-uber-douche.

7:31 pm September, 22 Steve L. said...

she be orange. but she has a nice smile. and that is wrong. so is bedbaggery, of course.

8:22 pm September, 22 Wedgie said...

Dude’s wearing a black wife beater, puppet.

5:07 am September, 23 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

As a Yankee fan I must bestow auto-douche on anyone wearing a hat other than the original color. If the hat IS the original color but worn tilted, (exception made for exact 180 degree unless you are Fred Durst) flat brimmed, ears tucked inside or worn on top of some other head covering you are also a fucking giant douchebag. Also, if you go to a Yankee game and drink yourself silly and curse loudly at everything while 9 year olds are sitting two seats away you are also a giant fucking douchebag and I should be allowed to beat you to death on the pitchers mound with a bat.

6:52 am September, 23 massengill said...

Yanks hats are also popular with criminals.

7:36 am September, 23 Deltus said...

There’s more than the ball cap that makes that choad uber-douche. But yeah, the cap thing as well.

9:32 am September, 23 Troy Tempest said...

@Wedgie — aaaah – correct. Didn’t see that. Thanks.

10:56 am September, 23 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Im with DarkSock and the “Aunt Jemima syrup container”… friggin hilarious!

11:54 am September, 23 Anonymous said...

As for the moron who asked the initial question regarding the picture, you could have simply said “Authentic Yankee hat” instead of going into useless detail describing it. Fucking idiot.

12:37 pm September, 23 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

@Anonymous, 11:54 am
.
Isn’t an “authentic Yankee hat” a tricorn?
.
Such anger over something so inconsequential. Get laid or something, dude.

6:27 pm September, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

These two must be bedding down for a long winter’s nap, but I have to say, I have never seen a “Mama in her kerchief , Papa in his cap” like these two.

6:30 pm September, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Bored with all the graphic designs that have proliferated on sheets in recent decades, Yanker and Doodles relish the classic white linens and opt for diddly-tatts on the body instead.

6:33 pm September, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

At the No-Tell Motel there’s no telling what’s under those pure white sheets, but what’s peeking out of them is way too telling.

6:40 pm September, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Pat-a-Tatt wear a NYYankees basecall cap to bed because he

a) wants to make it to first base
b) just wants to score
c) has quite a bat and balls
d) wants his hottie to yank his doodle.

8:38 pm September, 23 Wedgie said...

I still have big wood for anons. You are all so sexy in your anger. Makes my little heart go all a-twitter.
See how I did that? Now, back to therapy for you.

9:39 pm October, 5 Doo Schnozzle said...

To Anon (11:54 am September 23) –

That was 1) a rhetorical question, and 2) do ya think with so many non-standard Yankees caps around that people may not know what the “only” Yankee cap really looks like?
And I’m the moron. LOL

And the best Pink Sox hat I ever saw was a male Yankee fan who lost a Sox bet and had to wear it to a full house of bowling league.

Leave a Reply

What is 5 + 4 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)