Friday, September 3, 2010

Friday Haiku

Hungry Tendon Ted,
Mutant pea nip grease sandwich,
Sally still ‘rexic.

Pneumatic Meatpuds
An impotent scowl-a-thon
with Bimbo Light

— douches wild

Still hurts when I pee
Crotch shave will impress indeed
Stupid tats for me

— wonderdouche twin

Labor Day cookouts
bring threat of grease fires? Why is
the Kingsford oily?

— Wheezer

Dude, how many carbs
In this bottle of water?
Asks tattooed genius

— Vin Douchal

Muscles compensate
For freakishly small nipples.
Ted masters derp-face.

— End the Haberdouchery

We have the hostage
My pepperoni nipples
Will call you at eight

— saulgoode42

Buffet Line Betty
Likes steroid Meatclown sandwich
Pass the Douche Poupon

— Battlescrote Galactica

Chodester taints love
Flexing muscles for camera
I am ready for pear

— mr.reeve

# posted by douchebag1
7:10 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

New Weekly winner
poses with rival choadwank;
outflexed, not out-nipped.

7:11 am September, 3 End the Haberdouchery said...

Axis of evil
Has made new bio-weapon:
Chlamydia gas.

7:12 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

Ted likes his wrestling;
poses with Ivan Pudski?
Or maybe grandson.

7:13 am September, 3 Vin Douchal said...

In Vegas drunk tank
Testosterone drips from walls
Conjugal visit

7:14 am September, 3 mr.reeve said...

Roid filled bodies
Air filled heads
Hall of Scrote for Ted

7:14 am September, 3 End the Haberdouchery said...

Muscles compensate
For freakishly small nipples.
Ted masters derp-face.

7:14 am September, 3 saulgoode42 said...

We have the hostage
My pepperoni nipples
Will call you at eight

7:16 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

So, Ass Pear Annie
wised up and left Ted behind?
Broheim won’t do that.

7:17 am September, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Yes they take the ‘roids
And their diet gives them ‘rrhoids
Protein shits like bricks

7:17 am September, 3 saulgoode42 said...

Freddie on the right
Swallowed an entire crossbow
Ted knows how to fire

7:19 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

Brave face belies calm.
No fear, Sally; scrote Letches
will pump each other.

7:21 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

Saulegoode42
Is on fuccen fire today;
Can’t stop chortling…

7:21 am September, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Pumped up lunk heads glare
Pool closed for thirty minutes
Skim grease from surface

7:21 am September, 3 saulgoode42 said...

Two guys with a plan
They’ll bang Sally until they
Meet in the middle

7:21 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

Tried to go with “Fletch,”
yep, mangled the idea,
should stick to dick jokes.

7:21 am September, 3 douches wild said...

Pneumatic Meatpuds
An impotent scowl-a-thon
with Bimbo Light

7:22 am September, 3 mr.reeve said...

Chick’s hard core
Robot pose for Ted
Guido can’t wipe his ass

7:22 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

“What da fuck you mean,
No shirt no shoes no service?
Shitty ass wedding!”

7:23 am September, 3 End the Haberdouchery said...

Two years after death
My wife will look just like her.
Ted hearts Skeletor.

7:24 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

She’s a gondola
Stuck to the underbellies
Of the Goodyear Pimps

7:24 am September, 3 Turdacious said...

Donksters uncle loves limelight
Ted pulls Annie closer
Uncle Donkster flexes more

7:24 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

Labor Day cookouts
bring threat of grease fires? Why is
the Kingsford oily?

7:26 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

New steroids inject
via high pressure air hose
Into their assholes.

7:28 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

They believe it’s cool
To walk through life as though they’re
Straining in mid-shit…

7:28 am September, 3 mr.reeve said...

Ted wears belt
While chillen at da pool
Bouncerbag shat himself

7:29 am September, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Vile. Disgusting. Yuck
Don’t know whether to Haiku
Or ralph up breakfast

7:29 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

Maximum Flex Time;
If they strain any harder:
party favor ass!

7:30 am September, 3 Wedgie said...

Body, body, can’t
You feel my body, body
Check out my body.

(I hate to steal work from others, but in this case, the Village People nailed it).

7:30 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

My editing skillz
going the way of recall;
retire me to stud?

7:30 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

These pricks are so tense
They can only wipe their ass
With waxed dental floss.

7:31 am September, 3 saulgoode42 said...

Sometimes DB1
Makes it pretty easy, right?
I am among friends

7:31 am September, 3 wonderdouche twin said...

Still hurts when I pee
Crotch shave will impress indeed
Stupid tats for me

7:32 am September, 3 Wedgie said...

Haven’t had a meal
Since Tuesday the Thirtieth
Make us eat something.

7:32 am September, 3 mr.reeve said...

Chodester taints love
Flexing muscles for camera
I am ready for pear

7:33 am September, 3 Wedgie said...

Food is for pussies
All we need is some water
To wash down the ‘roids.

7:34 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

Sally’s snarl shows
she’s aware of local chests,
considers implants.

7:34 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

These dorks are so tense
Their poop extrudes out shaped like
The old Hilton “H”:
sdffgwe

7:35 am September, 3 Wedgie said...

We’re never flexing
We always appear like we’re
Taking a big shit.

7:35 am September, 3 End the Haberdouchery said...

Long Island MENSA
Board of Directors picture
From summer potluck

7:36 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

Their farts are angry;
Run down their legs, kick ant hills,
Smells like a poop’s scowl

7:36 am September, 3 mr.reeve said...

Picture smells like
Baby oil, sweat and protein
Its time to wipe my ass

7:36 am September, 3 Wedgie said...

Dude on the right says
“Ted, my traps are way bigger”
Ted says: “You’re still short”.

7:37 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

Just look at this bunch:
their sphincters are squeezed so tight,
only dogs hear their farts.

7:37 am September, 3 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Ted’s Vein Shave Reveal
Unveils Big Mac starved Hotty
Tapout Tom snorts roids

7:37 am September, 3 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Holy shite, Teddy.
An expression on your face?
No, he’s just sharting.
.
Sally’s body rocks;
That takes constant exercise.
And her face takes loads.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey

7:37 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

Meet the wrestling team:
The card girl Jenny Talia,
Torque MuleBrow, Doom Scowl

7:39 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

Their sole income source?
Pop charcoal briquets in ass,
Squeeze out the diamonds.

7:41 am September, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Flexing to the max,
Smelling like the Axe, these two
Leaking Olestra.

7:41 am September, 3 Wedgie said...

Strange hyroglyphics
Adorn short man on our right
Whose name is “Tattoo”.

Boss, boss! De plane, de plane!”

7:42 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

…hey y’all look at me…
…are they all looking at me?
…look this way, you guys….

7:42 am September, 3 Wedgie said...

^Hey, dickweed. That’s not a haiku. Sorrry.

7:42 am September, 3 Wedgie said...

Fuccen Sock.

7:44 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

These flexed-out rod clamps
Must pop muscle relaxers
Just so they can pee.

7:46 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

Look! A protein whore,
and an attention whore, and
One more protein whore.

7:48 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

Rear choad fears the pool;
If he falls in, sinks like stone:
Can’t move arms or legs.

7:49 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

Date rape filmed later;
hidden camera detailed
no sign of Sally.

7:49 am September, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Dude, how many carbs
In this bottle of water?
Asks tattooed genius

7:50 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

I’m not feeling it;
today’s haiku skills rival
Ted’s math skills: kaputz.

7:51 am September, 3 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Vegas Douchepud tatts
Pin the Ink on the Donkey
Clip art skin-stain taints

7:52 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

Grim Reaper baggies
serve as a nice metaphor
for his testicles.

7:54 am September, 3 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

I like Sally much
Some think she needs a sandwich
No, I will eat her

7:55 am September, 3 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Groin Shave
Reveals….
Nothing.

8:00 am September, 3 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Buffet Line Betty
Likes steroid Meatclown sandwich
Pass the Douche Poupon

8:01 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

A barren wasteland:
Be that Ted’s groin, mind, or soul?
All of the above.

8:02 am September, 3 Condouchious said...

We said eat sandwich;
Not be meat in douche hoagie;
‘Roid bros grunt approval

8:06 am September, 3 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Tendon Ted Traps Tara
‘twixt Two-Ton Trapezius
Tom of Finland weeps

8:11 am September, 3 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Tendon Ted,
Tribal-tatt Billy,
tranny hooker could take them both

8:15 am September, 3 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Tendon Ted nipple
blinds hott for vein net trapping
Roid Rage Randy farts

8:20 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

My recall is strange:
this spot is familiar, so
maybe it’s not lost?

8:26 am September, 3 paperorplastic said...

Greco Roman men
Preen with blond bandana bitch
But prefer young boys

8:28 am September, 3 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Tendon Ted vein bulge
Body rejects douchery
Grieco Virus wins

8:32 am September, 3 Et Tu Douche? said...

To quarantine or delouse
Ths bagademic do wait
The contagion is strong

8:43 am September, 3 doucheywallnuts said...

Meatcurtain sandwich
Two slices of juicehead bread
Please use condoments

9:01 am September, 3 DarkSock said...

Damn Weezer, good catch.
You are now our resident
Idiot Savant

9:05 am September, 3 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Atomic groin shave
Like Chernobyl or Three Mile
Lays waste toxic land

9:11 am September, 3 Mr. Biggs said...

Double douche aura
Carrie caught in the middle
Bleeth overwhelming

9:18 am September, 3 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Db1, you turd!
Why torture us so this morn’?
Give us the damn pear!

9:20 am September, 3 The Cow says Dooouche said...

Cesarean Scar
Does not stop steroid-soaked scrotes
From grinding on Bleeth

9:27 am September, 3 Captain Garanichode said...

I have an itchy middle finger and I am not afraid to use it!

10:04 am September, 3 Ultra Bagnus said...

Tendon Ted envies
Size of tat bag’s pecs and traps
Bleeth heals his ego

10:12 am September, 3 Troy Tempest said...

Stupid bikini
not big enough to hide the
caesarian scar

10:14 am September, 3 DB Prosecutor said...

Human growth hormone
But what price to bed the hott?
Testes shrink away

10:20 am September, 3 aceydouchey said...

Weeping at my desk.
When will the aliens come
And save us from this?

1:38 pm September, 3 Stephanie said...

Ted & creep friends really need
to get a life beyond the gym
Braindead

5:48 pm September, 3 iDouche said...

Three bags full
Two stuffed with pearls
Of roidy pudt

6:36 pm September, 3 Ghrankenstein said...

My first late haiku
To say that we knew Pumpy
Dude, you ain’t Pumpy

11:52 am September, 4 creature said...

asses clenched so tight
they carry greased ball bearings
in their fudge wallet

1:10 pm September, 4 Steve L. said...

nothing says manly
like taking steroids at age
50. cue quick death.

4:09 pm September, 4 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Thick meaty sandwich
reversed: thin bread should be on
both outsides, meat inside.

4:13 pm September, 4 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

With pumpers this thick,
breastes rolled between them get
flatter than pancakes.

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