Friday, September 10, 2010

Friday Haiku


Rusty, Plaid skulls, yo.
Like goth Alfred E. Newman,
Mona dreams of plants.

Morrie’s hanging loose
Mona’s drinkin’ the Goose
Damnit where’s the noose

— Eliza Douchecoo

Plaid Skull MacDouchgal
trolls the Glasgow bars, hoping
to blow some bagpipes.

— Wheezer

Culled from the headlines
Grease fueled explosion and fire
Don’t smoke near choads, kids

— Vin Douchal

Running mascara.
Trail of tears,
The wind & soul howls

— Et tu Douche?

With open eyes
You can stare into the face
Only a fist could love

— iDouche

Punk’s not dead, say some.
If Rusty represents it,
Maybe it should be.

— Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser

Suburban punk rock
Mommies credit card buys Jager
Angst without reason

— Battlescrote Gallactica

This here photograph
Took my creative juices
and stomped them to bits

— the douche is alright

Raven haired siren
Sucks the soul out of Rusty
She starves, he says “Grooo?”

— Mr. Scrotato Head

# posted by douchebag1
7:11 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

‘The Crow’ guyliner;
please have an accident like
Lee; use sledgehammer.

7:13 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

Quite hot in the club,
so she should untie her top,
set those puppies free!

7:16 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

Cockk rails on nose, mouth;
I guess he guides boyfriends’ dicks
when he “gels” his hair

7:17 am September, 10 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

He’s Alice Pooper.
But not only women bleed.
She’s one tight vixen.

7:17 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

Other regs asleep?
Last weekend was holiday,
Wheeze flies solo. What’s new?

7:17 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

OK, here we go –
everyone getting late start…..
LET MOCKING COMMENCE!

7:19 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

He’s the FireStarter
Jalapeno butt plug? Ouch
He’s the Fire Sharter

7:19 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

Mandannas will not
stop the loss of dignity
through extremities.

7:20 am September, 10 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Or he’s Bret Michaels?

7:20 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

“Hey Babe close your eyes;
I have a kick-ass surprise”
He picks skull boogers…

7:22 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

Dude had a rough night:
Impaled by cockk rings; black eyes…
Hog Leg Pummelling!

7:22 am September, 10 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Damn, not finished:

Or he’s Bret Michaels?
Let’s hope for Brain Hemorrhage
And to see her rack?

7:23 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

His sole life’s purpose?
His severed head is my cool
Antenna topper

7:24 am September, 10 Vin Douchal said...

It’s a rarity
Like a fat guy named, Sanjay
I would not bang her

7:24 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

It’s widely known he
has prettiest set of teeth
bros have cum across.

7:24 am September, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Culled from the headlines
Grease fueled explosion and fire
Don’t smoke near choads, kids

7:25 am September, 10 Et Tu Douche? said...

Running mascara.
Trail of tears,
The wind & soul howls

7:25 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

She is top shelf Hott;
I would eat a Snickers bar
Out of her butthole.

7:25 am September, 10 Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser said...

Punk’s not dead, say some.
If Rusty represents it,
Maybe it should be.

7:26 am September, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Rusty thinks his face
Is an unfinished canvas
More like a target

7:26 am September, 10 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Alice Cooper eyes
Mug Mona’s booby globes
Hang loose on ladies night yo!

7:27 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

This guy was last seen
Smoking a monster spliff in
Downtown San Bruno

7:28 am September, 10 Vin Douchal said...

The hospital tag
Left from todays procedure
Removed frontal lobe

7:28 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

Hey is his skull plaid?
Only one way to find out;
Get the weed eater.

7:29 am September, 10 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Red rooster fauxhawk
Is the least of his bad taste.
Her’s ain’t so good, t.oo

7:30 am September, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Disgusting mofo
This guy couldn’t even win
Ugly dog contest

7:30 am September, 10 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Fishing tackle head
Douching without a license
Must throw Mona back

7:31 am September, 10 the douche is alright said...

This here photograph
Took my creative juices
and stomped them to bits

7:32 am September, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Looking at this ass
While thinking of new Haikus
Makes my stomach turn

7:32 am September, 10 Et Tu Douche? said...

Wasted youth.
Easy to mold,
Let go the shackles

7:33 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

“A rooster, or a
cockk…..Immature male chickens
are called cockerels.”
.
– “http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rooster

7:34 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

Rusty the Rooster
crows daily for cockk; Wheeze lays
Haiku eggs today

7:36 am September, 10 the douche is alright said...

Parents, Guardians,
Lend me your full attention.
Your kids are douchey

7:36 am September, 10 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Suburban punk rock
Mommies credit card buys Jager
Angst without reason

7:37 am September, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Paisley, grimace face
Hep-C from multi-piercings
Deep coma is next

7:37 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

Red dye number 4
OK for douchebags to use.
Health hazard? Who cares?

7:38 am September, 10 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Large amoeba on
his head eat bacteria.
He’s an infection.

7:40 am September, 10 mr.reeve said...

The Choad Warrior
Curvy Lisa puckers up
“Bro, where’s the Goose!”

7:40 am September, 10 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Peacock with plaid skull
Mystery said it would work
So will the roofies

7:41 am September, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Her waste is tasty
His bad taste is a wasteland
My senses hate me

7:42 am September, 10 Vin Douchal said...

English accent babe
On kid’s show, Zeke and Luther
Hide boner from kids

7:43 am September, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Mona closes eyes
Can’t fight off the vertigo
Next comes the vomit

7:43 am September, 10 iDouche said...

With open eyes
You can stare into the face
Only a fist could love

7:43 am September, 10 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

He gives the “Hang Ten”.
But we’re lookin’ for Hang One.
And to touch Mona.

7:43 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

Plaid Skull MacDouchgal
trolls the Glasgow bars, hoping
to blow some bagpipes.

7:44 am September, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Early Halloween
Rusty is dressed to shock moms
And stay unemployed

7:44 am September, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Late night flight home
At work six hours later
My haikus suck ass

7:45 am September, 10 mr.reeve said...

Pierced nose means
Prince Albert below the belt
Lisa’s tongue is tainted

7:45 am September, 10 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Mildly retarded.
Rusty’s mandana hides scar.
Brain surgery failed.
.
Must be PTP.
Boob surgery a success!
I’d make Mona moan.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey

7:46 am September, 10 C. Everett Koop said...

Anonymous feels
Trannies plight,Tranny Tranny
On the right Tranny

7:47 am September, 10 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Mohawk Marty Douche
Mandanas two for one sale
Hot Topic rules!

7:47 am September, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Take my picture, bra!
The guys will freak about this.
So, when’s your shift end?

7:47 am September, 10 Fuck You said...

I am very shocked
Mona hasn’t been called a tranny
^Oops, spoke too soon

7:49 am September, 10 ehcuodouche said...

Rusty is happy
After seven grueling years
He finished clown school

7:49 am September, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

So many ‘bag tags
And yet he goes home alone
Can’t fail fast enough

7:50 am September, 10 Fuck You said...

Tranny tranny tranny
Tranny Tranny Tranny Tranny
Tranny tranny tranny

-C. Everett Stool Eater

7:52 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

Picture with hot chick =
Crusty’s one shot at glory,
then back to dish room.

7:52 am September, 10 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

He wears Marc Jacobs?
A Tee for forty-five bucks?
For PLAID skull? Help us!

7:52 am September, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Somewhere in Scotland
The clan Mckockinhand cheers
Good on ya, Braveshart!

7:52 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

This guy is a tool.
“But…what kind of tool, DarkSock?”
Flat Head Douche Driver

7:54 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

“Tranny” shit clichéd;
only used by those who’d like
to find lots of cockk.

7:54 am September, 10 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Glue-soaked mandana
Welds Mona’s forehead tightly
Roach Motel hott trap

7:55 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

Liza Minnelli
Just called; she wants her fucking
Eyeliner back, Derp.

7:56 am September, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

She leans in to kiss
He flashes hang loose bro! Then
Wonders why he fails

7:56 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

Ingrown scalp goiter
Glows red with infection heat;
His eyes weep black pus.

7:57 am September, 10 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Mona is sculpted
Lips, cheeks, neck, rack, and tummy.
Wanna choke Johnson!

7:58 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

Randy’s set to score
Poon off the granddaughter of
Ms. Helen Keller

7:58 am September, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Raven haired siren
Sucks the soul out of Rusty
She starves, he says “Grooo?”

7:59 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

Crusty’s mandanna
covers his ears, but he still
hears the wind cry “Douche!”

8:00 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

If you squint at him
His head somewhat resembles
A Turd Meteor

8:00 am September, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Rusty headbutts hott
Mandana protects his skull
Won’t stop my bullet

8:01 am September, 10 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Morrie’s hanging loose
Mona’s drinkin’ the Goose
Damnit where’s the noose

8:01 am September, 10 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Douche Micheals Poison
Every Rose Has it’s Douchebag
Mandana for Life!

8:02 am September, 10 Eliza Douchecoo said...

From this hangover I awoke
only to see this wankjob
hair of the dog time

8:03 am September, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

If she’s a tranny
Then I’m playing for wrong team
She can pitch, I’ll catch

8:06 am September, 10 Eliza Douchecoo said...

If his eyes bleed turds
Then my ass can see
That I wanna lick Mona’s belly

8:06 am September, 10 mr.reeve said...

Calling every hot a
tranny is really old & dull
Me thinks you like the cockkk

8:06 am September, 10 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Could you bridle him
through those lip rings? Then lead him
to a glue factory?

8:07 am September, 10 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Cock-a-doodle douche
Middle class mohawk nightmare
minimum wage pay

8:09 am September, 10 mr.reeve said...

Mandana on the wrist
Mandana on the dome
Boobs, boobs & boobs

8:10 am September, 10 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Holes in strip behind.
AIM that 357!!!
Douche is still standing!

8:11 am September, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Rusty the Rooster
Rises at the crack of noon
Loses one more job

8:12 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

I see two beards here;
both may need shaving; use a
machete on chin.

8:14 am September, 10 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Mall rat punk rocker
Home Depot hardware face pierce
Sticks it to the man

8:16 am September, 10 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Washing cars by day
Mohawk mugging hotts by night
Douchebags life for me!

8:21 am September, 10 dknutty said...

Mandana, makeup,
wristdana and Goldthwait grin
Tackleberry, fire!

8:21 am September, 10 Battlescrote Galactica said...

Grandpa died in war
Now scrotepud lives free to douche
Family tree withers

8:22 am September, 10 Haiku Nazi said...

Some sloppy haikus today.
.
Syllables go 5-7-5, not complicated, bitches.
.
Damn.

8:27 am September, 10 D-Bag Finder said...

@Haiku Nazi,

That’s how we do it
We are not professional poets
But you are pro-douche

8:27 am September, 10 Wheezer said...

Is spelling OK?
Haiku Nazi will consult
cohort Spell Nazi. 😉

8:32 am September, 10 Sack O Douche said...

I never even try
Haikus but here I go
Mona makes my pants wet

8:35 am September, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Overcome by Axe
fumes, bleeth starts projectile hurl.
Needs to aim better.
.
.
Hey Boss, can we start haikus at 11:00am on east coast? I’m done with requirements then and can join in the haiku fun. This one sucked so bad ’cause I’m rusty as shit.

8:37 am September, 10 Constantine IX Monodouchos said...

She prepared her lips
I prepared my empty smile
Here goes the flash

8:39 am September, 10 wonderdouche twin said...

Manadana I’ve got
Mona for sure is the hot
Skull plaid afterthought

8:46 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

His casino band
Makes mad cash Wednesday nights
as “Alice Pooper”.

8:48 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

5 in the first line,
7 in the middle one
5 in the last line

9:03 am September, 10 Mr. Biggs said...

In one crap costume
Generations of style spurned
Good enough for Kate

9:12 am September, 10 DarkSock said...

My hog leg is straight
and true and full o’ yogurt
Heed my song, Ms. Kate

9:13 am September, 10 As I Lay Douching said...

I would turn that ass
inside out ; a butterchurn
with a cock handle

9:17 am September, 10 Sack O Douche said...

Here I go again
Trying this thing called Haiku
Mona makes me take trips to the bathroom while I am supposed to be working and not yanking my bell head warrior in the stall
Was that ok Haiku Nazi?

9:26 am September, 10 Sack O Douche said...

On Friday we get pear
Oh how I love you sweet pear
Boss, it’s time for pear

9:27 am September, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

So Choadacious
Mandanas y Manscara
I love bleeth’s belly

9:58 am September, 10 CBS said...

my haiku abilities have just been reactivated so i’m not sure if this one works. here we go…

Confused self-image
May lead her to closing eyes
wishing for someone else

9:59 am September, 10 CBS said...

*wished??

10:47 am September, 10 Chevy Doucherado said...

Looking down at this
Dead punks argue in Heaven
Whose to blame for it?

11:46 am September, 10 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I could give him a
dirt nap. And then soil myself
fwapping to her looks.

6:13 pm September, 10 MoeDouche said...

Cock rails on my eyes,
Cock rails on my nose,
Cok rails on my lips

10:04 pm September, 12 Steve L. said...

plaid skull is more than
rusty. Mona enjoys her
waitress job too much.

10:31 pm September, 22 Aquarium Fish said...

I have bookmarked your site and visit all the time, keep up the good work!

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