Friday Haiku
Rusty, Plaid skulls, yo.
Like goth Alfred E. Newman,
Mona dreams of plants.
Morrie’s hanging loose
Mona’s drinkin’ the Goose
Damnit where’s the noose
— Eliza Douchecoo
Plaid Skull MacDouchgal
trolls the Glasgow bars, hoping
to blow some bagpipes.
— Wheezer
Culled from the headlines
Grease fueled explosion and fire
Don’t smoke near choads, kids
— Vin Douchal
Running mascara.
Trail of tears,
The wind & soul howls
— Et tu Douche?
With open eyes
You can stare into the face
Only a fist could love
— iDouche
Punk’s not dead, say some.
If Rusty represents it,
Maybe it should be.
— Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser
Suburban punk rock
Mommies credit card buys Jager
Angst without reason
— Battlescrote Gallactica
This here photograph
Took my creative juices
and stomped them to bits
— the douche is alright
Raven haired siren
Sucks the soul out of Rusty
She starves, he says “Grooo?”
— Mr. Scrotato Head
‘The Crow’ guyliner;
please have an accident like
Lee; use sledgehammer.
Quite hot in the club,
so she should untie her top,
set those puppies free!
Cockk rails on nose, mouth;
I guess he guides boyfriends’ dicks
when he “gels” his hair
He’s Alice Pooper.
But not only women bleed.
She’s one tight vixen.
Other regs asleep?
Last weekend was holiday,
Wheeze flies solo. What’s new?
OK, here we go –
everyone getting late start…..
LET MOCKING COMMENCE!
He’s the FireStarter
Jalapeno butt plug? Ouch
He’s the Fire Sharter
Mandannas will not
stop the loss of dignity
through extremities.
Or he’s Bret Michaels?
“Hey Babe close your eyes;
I have a kick-ass surprise”
He picks skull boogers…
Dude had a rough night:
Impaled by cockk rings; black eyes…
Hog Leg Pummelling!
Damn, not finished:
Or he’s Bret Michaels?
Let’s hope for Brain Hemorrhage
And to see her rack?
His sole life’s purpose?
His severed head is my cool
Antenna topper
It’s a rarity
Like a fat guy named, Sanjay
I would not bang her
It’s widely known he
has prettiest set of teeth
bros have cum across.
Culled from the headlines
Grease fueled explosion and fire
Don’t smoke near choads, kids
Running mascara.
Trail of tears,
The wind & soul howls
She is top shelf Hott;
I would eat a Snickers bar
Out of her butthole.
Punk’s not dead, say some.
If Rusty represents it,
Maybe it should be.
Rusty thinks his face
Is an unfinished canvas
More like a target
Alice Cooper eyes
Mug Mona’s booby globes
Hang loose on ladies night yo!
This guy was last seen
Smoking a monster spliff in
Downtown San Bruno
The hospital tag
Left from todays procedure
Removed frontal lobe
Hey is his skull plaid?
Only one way to find out;
Get the weed eater.
Red rooster fauxhawk
Is the least of his bad taste.
Her’s ain’t so good, t.oo
Disgusting mofo
This guy couldn’t even win
Ugly dog contest
Fishing tackle head
Douching without a license
Must throw Mona back
This here photograph
Took my creative juices
and stomped them to bits
Looking at this ass
While thinking of new Haikus
Makes my stomach turn
Wasted youth.
Easy to mold,
Let go the shackles
“A rooster, or a
cockk…..Immature male chickens
are called cockerels.”
.
– “http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rooster“
Rusty the Rooster
crows daily for cockk; Wheeze lays
Haiku eggs today
Parents, Guardians,
Lend me your full attention.
Your kids are douchey
Suburban punk rock
Mommies credit card buys Jager
Angst without reason
Paisley, grimace face
Hep-C from multi-piercings
Deep coma is next
Red dye number 4
OK for douchebags to use.
Health hazard? Who cares?
Large amoeba on
his head eat bacteria.
He’s an infection.
The Choad Warrior
Curvy Lisa puckers up
“Bro, where’s the Goose!”
Peacock with plaid skull
Mystery said it would work
So will the roofies
Her waste is tasty
His bad taste is a wasteland
My senses hate me
English accent babe
On kid’s show, Zeke and Luther
Hide boner from kids
Mona closes eyes
Can’t fight off the vertigo
Next comes the vomit
With open eyes
You can stare into the face
Only a fist could love
He gives the “Hang Ten”.
But we’re lookin’ for Hang One.
And to touch Mona.
Plaid Skull MacDouchgal
trolls the Glasgow bars, hoping
to blow some bagpipes.
Early Halloween
Rusty is dressed to shock moms
And stay unemployed
Late night flight home
At work six hours later
My haikus suck ass
Pierced nose means
Prince Albert below the belt
Lisa’s tongue is tainted
Mildly retarded.
Rusty’s mandana hides scar.
Brain surgery failed.
.
Must be PTP.
Boob surgery a success!
I’d make Mona moan.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
Anonymous feels
Trannies plight,Tranny Tranny
On the right Tranny
Mohawk Marty Douche
Mandanas two for one sale
Hot Topic rules!
Take my picture, bra!
The guys will freak about this.
So, when’s your shift end?
I am very shocked
Mona hasn’t been called a tranny
^Oops, spoke too soon
Rusty is happy
After seven grueling years
He finished clown school
So many ‘bag tags
And yet he goes home alone
Can’t fail fast enough
Tranny tranny tranny
Tranny Tranny Tranny Tranny
Tranny tranny tranny
-C. Everett Stool Eater
Picture with hot chick =
Crusty’s one shot at glory,
then back to dish room.
He wears Marc Jacobs?
A Tee for forty-five bucks?
For PLAID skull? Help us!
Somewhere in Scotland
The clan Mckockinhand cheers
Good on ya, Braveshart!
This guy is a tool.
“But…what kind of tool, DarkSock?”
Flat Head Douche Driver
“Tranny” shit clichéd;
only used by those who’d like
to find lots of cockk.
Glue-soaked mandana
Welds Mona’s forehead tightly
Roach Motel hott trap
Liza Minnelli
Just called; she wants her fucking
Eyeliner back, Derp.
She leans in to kiss
He flashes hang loose bro! Then
Wonders why he fails
Ingrown scalp goiter
Glows red with infection heat;
His eyes weep black pus.
Mona is sculpted
Lips, cheeks, neck, rack, and tummy.
Wanna choke Johnson!
Randy’s set to score
Poon off the granddaughter of
Ms. Helen Keller
Raven haired siren
Sucks the soul out of Rusty
She starves, he says “Grooo?”
Crusty’s mandanna
covers his ears, but he still
hears the wind cry “Douche!”
If you squint at him
His head somewhat resembles
A Turd Meteor
Rusty headbutts hott
Mandana protects his skull
Won’t stop my bullet
Morrie’s hanging loose
Mona’s drinkin’ the Goose
Damnit where’s the noose
Douche Micheals Poison
Every Rose Has it’s Douchebag
Mandana for Life!
From this hangover I awoke
only to see this wankjob
hair of the dog time
If she’s a tranny
Then I’m playing for wrong team
She can pitch, I’ll catch
If his eyes bleed turds
Then my ass can see
That I wanna lick Mona’s belly
Calling every hot a
tranny is really old & dull
Me thinks you like the cockkk
Could you bridle him
through those lip rings? Then lead him
to a glue factory?
Cock-a-doodle douche
Middle class mohawk nightmare
minimum wage pay
Mandana on the wrist
Mandana on the dome
Boobs, boobs & boobs
Holes in strip behind.
AIM that 357!!!
Douche is still standing!
Rusty the Rooster
Rises at the crack of noon
Loses one more job
I see two beards here;
both may need shaving; use a
machete on chin.
Mall rat punk rocker
Home Depot hardware face pierce
Sticks it to the man
Washing cars by day
Mohawk mugging hotts by night
Douchebags life for me!
Mandana, makeup,
wristdana and Goldthwait grin
Tackleberry, fire!
Grandpa died in war
Now scrotepud lives free to douche
Family tree withers
Some sloppy haikus today.
.
Syllables go 5-7-5, not complicated, bitches.
.
Damn.
@Haiku Nazi,
That’s how we do it
We are not professional poets
But you are pro-douche
Is spelling OK?
Haiku Nazi will consult
cohort Spell Nazi. 😉
I never even try
Haikus but here I go
Mona makes my pants wet
Overcome by Axe
fumes, bleeth starts projectile hurl.
Needs to aim better.
.
.
Hey Boss, can we start haikus at 11:00am on east coast? I’m done with requirements then and can join in the haiku fun. This one sucked so bad ’cause I’m rusty as shit.
She prepared her lips
I prepared my empty smile
Here goes the flash
Manadana I’ve got
Mona for sure is the hot
Skull plaid afterthought
His casino band
Makes mad cash Wednesday nights
as “Alice Pooper”.
5 in the first line,
7 in the middle one
5 in the last line
In one crap costume
Generations of style spurned
Good enough for Kate
My hog leg is straight
and true and full o’ yogurt
Heed my song, Ms. Kate
I would turn that ass
inside out ; a butterchurn
with a cock handle
Here I go again
Trying this thing called Haiku
Mona makes me take trips to the bathroom while I am supposed to be working and not yanking my bell head warrior in the stall
Was that ok Haiku Nazi?
On Friday we get pear
Oh how I love you sweet pear
Boss, it’s time for pear
So Choadacious
Mandanas y Manscara
I love bleeth’s belly
my haiku abilities have just been reactivated so i’m not sure if this one works. here we go…
Confused self-image
May lead her to closing eyes
wishing for someone else
*wished??
Looking down at this
Dead punks argue in Heaven
Whose to blame for it?
I could give him a
dirt nap. And then soil myself
fwapping to her looks.
Cock rails on my eyes,
Cock rails on my nose,
Cok rails on my lips
plaid skull is more than
rusty. Mona enjoys her
waitress job too much.
I have bookmarked your site and visit all the time, keep up the good work!