Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Fwippy Joe

Between yesterday’s Pete Rocker Horns and today’s Fwippy Joe, it’s about time we got some real world stage-1 puds back on the site to mock.

And sexy mom Caroline. You don’t think you can compete with the latest crop of 19 year old Woo Hotties. But I would reassure you by softly humming Philip Glass harmonics through a straw, and then spritzing lime juice on your thighs using only a Windex bottle and a group of Quakers via satellite link to offer spiritual judgment and disapproving glares.

# posted by douchebag1
7:11 am September, 28 DarkSock said...

If the walls of her mini-van could only talk…

7:12 am September, 28 DarkSock said...

You call them “faux-hawks”. I call them “Ass Clamp Hair”.

7:14 am September, 28 Nancy Dreuche said...

Who did she have to BLU to get that tanktop? And I’d like to Armani Exchange him for a less douchey dude.

7:38 am September, 28 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Good ol Greg Kinnear, I always liked him.

7:39 am September, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tryouts for the mid-life crisis cheer squad.

Give me an H.

Give me an E.

Give me an M.

Give me an O.

Give me an R.

What do you got?

My ass hurts.

7:41 am September, 28 Eliza Douchecoo said...

ya know, depending on how you wear your double finger rings, doing the shocker would really fuccen hurt, unless you’re into that.

7:52 am September, 28 mr.reeve said...

Seacrust OUT!

8:09 am September, 28 doucheywallnuts said...

Gotta love the sexy Mom as a change of pace. She knows things…

8:14 am September, 28 DarkSock said...

Milquetoast douche can’t even crack 10 comments…

8:17 am September, 28 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Speaking of crack, I bet her crack smells of lavender and day old lobster, and I love day old lobster.

8:20 am September, 28 DarkSock said...

Don’t make Emo Hulk horny….you wouldn’t like him when he’s horny…
sadrr

8:21 am September, 28 DarkSock said...

^shudders

8:25 am September, 28 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Ahhh, make that thing go away!!

8:31 am September, 28 The Dude said...

BLU, I am true to you, x2
Mami, I’m coming home

Where’s Fwippy? oh, got him on the dry side of the pic

9:04 am September, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Don’t make Emo Hulk angry! You don’t want to make Emo Hulk angry! What, you don’t want to make Emo Hulk angry? What wrong with Emo Hulk? Why you not like Emo Hulk? No one like Emo Hulk! Emo Hulk sulk! Cut legs with razors! Write bad poetry. Skip medication and threaten to kill self. You no care. Nobody miss Emo Hulk when Emo Hulk gone! Emo Hulk go listen to My Chemical Romance.
.
.
.
.
.Raar. Whatever.

9:05 am September, 28 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

I tend to think these kind of douchebags are worse. They can more easily infiltrate normal society only to douche it up when you really don’t want them douching it up. This is the guy who cock blocks you by scaring off the hottie you’re trying to talk into a little horizontal tango.

9:07 am September, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Are those monocles hanging from their necklaces? I’d put hers in my eye. And by hers I mean her nipple.

9:07 am September, 28 Troy Tempest said...

Too bad Emo Hulk doesn’t have an innocent sweetling damsel with him. If he did, not even the Mighty Stackhouse could compete with the fantastic douche array that is Emo Hulk.
.
Emo Hulk needs his own special award and or competition.
.
Brazil is so weird. But as the movie title referenced, as Orwell said, “When one speaks of England, one should speak of Brazil.”

9:17 am September, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@MC 900 Foot Douchebag
.
I agree. These are the also soft souled average guys who keep Ed Hardy and his ilk rolling specifically because they’re mostly okay with themselves, but they’ve got just enough self-doubt about their image and their legacies that they’re easily convinced to dable in douchebaggery. He may only buy a couple shirts and pairs of over priced jeans, but his contribution, along with the tens of thousands of other Stage-1s like him are enough to ensure an on-going profit stream for the Christian Audigers of this world.
.
Grow some stones Fwippy. Just because your wife left you doesn’t mean you’ve been given a magical timepiece that will take you back to those f*ck-filled days of your youth, when your hair was soft and your cock was hard. It’s just an over-sized Timex with a calendar feature that doesnt’ work.
.
Caroline will take you more seriously at your kid’s football game this Saturday if you’re dressed like a man instead of like your son’s best friend. Which means losing the flip flops and tattered jeans. It’s late September in Illinois for Chrissake!

9:18 am September, 28 Merle Baggard said...

Ok, I’ll say it. Boobies.

9:43 am September, 28 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Rock on Fwippy the scab stain… enough with the mongol cupie-doll white man faux point! Douche resembles shorn poultry standing atop a pillion of carpet scraps.
..
But, mmmmmmmmm.. I’d juice my little apricot soldier on miss sweet Caroline’s mom bags three times an hour until she wakes up and I soft-shoe back down the flag pole and into the woods.

9:46 am September, 28 Vin Douchal said...

Okay listen, fellers,
.
Me likey!
.
Now this is a woman, fellers. She’s no plastic bleach blonde empty-headed party twat that wants to skreech with her woo girls all night until you spend all your money on her.
.
Caroline knows. Oh, she knows.
.
Caroline will massage your feet as you watch Monday Night Football on her sofa eating the lasagna she made you with the never ending supply of Peroni to wash it down in her fridge.
.
Caroline will gently insert the tip of her pinky up her your ass as you cum in her mouth for the third time on a rainy Thursday afternoon
.
Caroline cleans her vag for an hour before you come over. Because she knows
.
Caroline may make you forget how to spell “F-R-A-N-C-I-N-E”
.
Caroline rubs your back slowly, under the shirt, in the movie theatre ocassionally scratching lightly in all the right places
.
Caroline will stay sober and drive you to and from the Toby Keith concert in L.A. so you can pound all night then jerk you off in the driveway when you get home
.
Caroline orgasms every time
.
Caroline has a motor home from her second divorce and the tank is always full
.
Caroline did not fuck this douche. She’s more likely there with his cool friend, someone that plays guitar and writes parody songs about douchebags
.
Caroline’s vagina tastes like molasses

9:57 am September, 28 Wheezer said...

Emo Hulk just sent Freddy Krueger running off screaming like a little girl. Emo Hulk does not need Edward Scissorhands weapons to frighten me.
.
Emo Hulk’s painful stare of confusion does enough damage on its own.

9:58 am September, 28 Wheezer said...

We may need a few more looks at sexy MILF Caroline – perhaps she’s a HoH qualifier? Those look like some rather firm, natural BLU-bies.

10:04 am September, 28 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

I’d bet her nipples are the size of knee caps!

10:09 am September, 28 Vin Douchal said...

Me likey

10:58 am September, 28 DarkSock said...

Here’s Emo Hulk’s dog:
ertt

11:05 am September, 28 Deltus said...

I’m loving the sexy mom boobs. I bet she fucks like a tiger. @Vin Douchal, well said. She *does* know.

11:08 am September, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Whem Emo Hulk isn’t “Emoing Out”:
.

12:06 pm September, 28 Medusa Oblongata said...

Caroline’s cans are aftermarket. And I don’t care. I’d bounce my tongue off them nips all goddamned day and night and day again.

12:07 pm September, 28 Medusa Oblongata said...

“Grow some stones Fwippy. Just because your wife left you doesn’t mean you’ve been given a magical timepiece that will take you back to those f*ck-filled days of your youth, when your hair was soft and your cock was hard. It’s just an over-sized Timex with a calendar feature that doesnt’ work.”
.
Scrotato, you are an artist.

1:17 pm September, 28 system of douche said...

I’m so mesmerized by Sweet Caroline’s rack I don’t give a fig for the poo that’s able to stand erect next to her.

That’s one Grade A MILF right there, folks.

He needs to raise his hand and impale his eyeballs with those devil horns. He’s got the spread just right.

1:35 pm September, 28 Baron Von Goolo said...

Caroline reminds me of Natalie Wood.
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And by “Wood” I mean the wood in my Snuggie.
.
ba-rum BUM kisssssh…..

5:42 pm September, 28 Steve L. said...

if Caroline thinks she canNOT compete with the latest crop of 19 year old Woo hotties, then she has self esteem issues that i can exploit.
of course, said issues will be exploited by the likes of Fwippy Joe before i can even get to work on that.
stage 1 pud he is not. no sir.

8:50 pm September, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Fwippy Joe? Fwapped
Caroline? Stacked
Emo Hulk? For SHAME DarkSock, BlueDog deserves better’n Emo.

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