Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Groin Fung Reveal

For the Real Debutantes of East Hampton, no poolboy is worth suffering the dreaded “Groin Fung Reveal.”

I see you, Tiny Brunette Giggler Snocone Melter Art History Major, Lucille. I would tickle your poochbottom with an emu feather, and then cry softly for my lost childhood blankie, Mr. Cuddlesworth.

# posted by douchebag1
1:22 pm September, 29 jonezy said...

I know it’s hard to tell, but they are actually standing in a vat of this douche’s hair gel

1:23 pm September, 29 jonezy said...

“Here ladies, try out these here glasses. I have one for each of you. It’s the only way to avoid being repulsed by my GSR. “

1:26 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Whatever you girls do, DON’T release the butt plug for Chrissakes!

1:28 pm September, 29 mr.reeve said...

They are mocking his dumbass. Look at the three on the left. I love it. Nice pool hotts. That dude’s helmet looks like its the only thing keeping his pants up. And by helmet I mean little cockk.

1:28 pm September, 29 mr.reeve said...

That was his left. Arrrrrrrr.

1:30 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Are they laughing so hard at his inability to produce the “ab lobster” by inhaling so hard his spine is now showing or is it because they’ve managed to get their cardboard cut out of Anthony Michael Hall in trunks and into the pool?

1:32 pm September, 29 mr.reeve said...

By the way poolbag, anorexia GSR is worse then the roidbags GSR. Tiny Giggler is a spinner and a winner…….after she dumps the Great White Ethiopian.

1:44 pm September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I have no beef with Peyton Manning’s retarded younger brother Eli having fun after he got drafted. The boys shaved him and he’s goofing around with spinners.

1:52 pm September, 29 tall guy said...

I have no beef with skinny little runts, but this particular skinny little runt deserves a smack around the chops with a side of frozen beef.

1:53 pm September, 29 Sack O Douche said...

Good god those are some tasty looking hotties. The needle dick in the picture with the GSR almost ruins the goodness brought by the young ladies hottness. Eat a cheeseburger and pull your pants up, Pud Boy.

1:53 pm September, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

It’s one thing to work your abs to absurd levels of washboardiness, but when your abs go all the way up to your neck it’s time to consider maybe doing a push-up or two.
.
What do you bet those glasses and cups glow in the dark? And cause the deaths of several hundred Chinese factory workers annually.
.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go and pretend that a certain part of me is occupying the come-hither open mouths of the South Dakota twins.

1:57 pm September, 29 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Wow, me likey the pool hotties. If I weighed 80 pounds I might look like this little prick too. Bitch ass ass.

1:58 pm September, 29 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Release the krakken!

2:09 pm September, 29 massengill said...

“Stop,” “No,” and “Don’t.”

2:09 pm September, 29 clam fist said...

I think it’s time to dig out my ab- lounger. He is pulling some serious hotts!

2:21 pm September, 29 Captain Lame said...

I might have to go nadda douche on the Eli Manning. He pulled off a hell of a game two superbowls again and has earned my respect. However he might wanna take a look at this, before applying anymore of that hair gel.

3:05 pm September, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Dr. BHD 1:51
Oh, for the love of Twinkies, tell me this is a joke. And let me guess, the main character is gonna be based on herself, and the rest of the crew is gonna be based on her loser friends. And then she’ll fall in love with some mystery dude that is the subject of her greasy masturbatory fantasies, pretty much a nasty amalgam of every gross dago douche that has ever left a snail trail across the boardwalk. Please, please kill me now.

3:05 pm September, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

That’s not an ab lobster, that’s an ab millipede.

3:12 pm September, 29 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...


Work your upper body too!!

Jeezus

3:29 pm September, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Medusa^
.
What say you and I offer to ghost-write her story. We could base it on the actual events that would transpire in your dungeon, with Mr. White of course.
.
Chapter One: Torture.
Chapter Two: Ohmygawdareyoukiddinme?! More Torture!
Chapter Three: My chance at freedom – pass a basic civics quiz.
Chapter Four: NO f*ckin’ way! Chicks get to vote?! Still More Torture.
.
That’s all I got so far.

3:38 pm September, 29 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Call me twisted, but I’d be curious to find out if there are any guys out there who sport the “Groin Non-Shave Reveal” (GNSR). That would be something, wouldn’t it?

3:41 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Scrotato
.
I’m not trying to get all up in your bidnez but might not the first chapter be entitled “Squeal Like A Mutant Pig You Filthy Little Slut!”? Just spitballin’ over here.

3:44 pm September, 29 system of douche said...

Now this is what I’m talking about here. Finally some choice poon tang.

And I see YOU, left bikini. Don’t think you’ll find much with that clandestine downtheasscrackandupinthe testicles grope. Sorry. But you did get him to arch his back.

3:46 pm September, 29 Thorax Hammersmith said...

Watch your back Patton Oswald.
.
First Bob Schimmel. Now Greg Giraldo… who’s next? Let us pray that Carrott Top slips on a bannana peel next to a meat grinder that feeds into a vat of acid.

3:47 pm September, 29 system of douche said...

And a second later, Henry discovers just how fast the pool filter’s suction can tear away swim trunks.

3:49 pm September, 29 Deltus said...

I didn’t think there could be anything as vulgar as the Groin Shave Reveal. Groin Fung Reveal proved me wrong.

3:50 pm September, 29 Steve L. said...

i saw “fung reveal” in my drunken state and somehow i read it as “funeral” instead. and then i became immorally exhilarated. about the possible death(s) of douchebags, that is.
.
i think i’m becoming like one of those kids on Hamas’s TV channel.

3:51 pm September, 29 system of douche said...

And as we go ’round the circle..Yes, oh hell yeah, f’n OUTSTANDING, and what the hell, she’ll do.

I am all about that black cut out. Damn. When and if I get bored with that, I’ve got yellow and mini white to fap to.

4:15 pm September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I always order triple cheese on my pizza so there is a balance between sharting and constipation. Thinking of fat cheesy Italian things fuck Snooki. She reminds me of Jabba the Slut.

4:19 pm September, 29 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

“Fung Poo in a Pool with Goddesses in Green Rimmed Glasses”

4:21 pm September, 29 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

That’s not his fung, it’s his pubic lice all headed out of drown’s way.

6:16 pm September, 29 Nancy Dreuche said...

This is the After- Pool-Party from the launch of the new Brazillian Emo Hulk movie, “Poetry Smashed, Poetry Slammed!!!” In 3D! On second thought no, these youths appear to have their souls intact and their bathing suits relatively shartless. So apparently, it was just Gay Sunglasses Day at the YMCA.

9:05 pm September, 29 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This pud wank has obviously never heard of “trimming the bushes to make the tree look taller.”
.
Otherwise it wouldn’t look like a marmoset’s nose. At least his “little dutch boy” has the cute factor keeping the girls intrigued.

9:36 pm September, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

Okat, Scrotato, Dr. BHD and Mr. White as the ghost-writer panel for the Snooki booki. Provided I can supply the illustrations….I think I might get to work on that tonight…

10:32 pm September, 29 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

10 titties and one pube reveal…. Time to scream till it hurts!

10:35 pm September, 29 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Short bleeth in blanca bikini is becoming attention worthy… the others all have green circles around their Brown Eye’s!

10:38 pm September, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

Rev. Chad @ 4:15
.
“Jabba The Slut.”
.
You, sir, have made my night.

10:51 pm September, 29 Stephanie said...

If they graduated middle school they got green glasses and sippy bottles, and if no green toy,like stick figure boy,you just pee in the pool.

5:02 am September, 30 Wedgie said...

Fitty rubles.

6:57 am September, 30 UFO Destroyers said...

Okay guys, which one of you designed this place? Was it you Crucial? DarkSock? Or is there an unnamed bag hunter out there that we don’t know about?

9:36 am September, 30 Fatness said...

^ Too bad the windows don’t open. A few of us with strategically aimed hand mirrors could generate lots of product-flame-engulfed hilarity in and around the pool.

9:37 am September, 30 Fatness said...

By the way, the Chicago lawyer quoted in the story is a personal injury shark. Expect that class action next week…

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