Monday, September 20, 2010

HCwDB of the Week

Coming off last week’s Monthly, in which Edgar and Joss carried Orange Brothabagedness to a well deserved monthly win, we have some choice cuts of hottie/douchey wrongness this week for your perusal. Your finalists are:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Joey the Orange and the Judith Sisters

Toxic Orange Groin Shave Reveal = Reason #43 that Daoist Monks are bitchslapping each other rather than meditating on the silent Om.

For when Joey the Orange is out there, the silent Om reverts to the very loud mock.

And that is as it should be.

For he is poo. And lets not forget Joey the Orange’s bonus response in the comments thread, which called us “losers” and led us to this.

The Judith Sisters all pledged Kappa Kappa Woo two weeks back when Sophomore Year started. And this is their first party. And they hate their dads.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Mister Liptatt and Holly

Neck lipstick tatts.

Douche.

Sure, I could try to be more creative in parsing the distinct level of ‘bag here. But lets just call it what it is. Arthritic shoescrape.

Mmm… Holly.

I would body surf through an ocean wave of phlegmatic snails just for the chance to file the missing sudoku squares left behind by your Aunt Belinda after a particularly exhausting game of assisted living Parcheesi.

Yup.

No idea what I’m saying anymore.

But Lipstick Tatt Douche with “gangsta” pose is highly qualified for Weekly mock, and Holly’s curves are lemonade milkshake wonderland dreamboat chewtoy gnaw.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Abercrombag and Clarissa

Clarrisa is lean and mean perfectly taut and tan the reason you hate your girlfriend hottness.

The Abercrombag inherited more than you make in a year. And then blew it on tequila and blow.

Tequila and Blow being a folk duet out of Austin. You might remember their 1974 hit, “Sunshine Isn’t Just for Lovers.”

Okay, now I really have no idea what I’m writing.

But back to this coupling. We all hate the Abercrombag’s retch. We all want to pooch lick Clarissa’s pot belly potty bell.

Add it up and it’s a worthy toxic swirl of hottie/douchey commingle.

But enough to win the HCwDB of the Week? That’s where you come in.

Just missing the cut were Tough Guy Chase, the cryptogaybaggery of The Taterbag and Tonya, Joe Flannel and Francesca, the odious Canadian Kleenex Mafia and Hipsterbag Michel.

Three can enter.

Only one coupling can rise to the top/bottom of your coffee creamer sugar swirl.

Which will it be? Mister Liptatt and Holly? The Aberbcrombag and Clarissa? Joey the Orange and the Judith Sisters? I need your help. I can’t do this alone.

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1
7:09 am September, 20 douchesquire said...

Mister Liptatt and Holly for the win. She looks to be about perfect, and I’ll cast aside thoughts that the sunglasses are hiding wonky eye or something similarly terrible. He just plain sucks on every level.

7:11 am September, 20 Eliza Douchecoo said...

I hate all 3 that are before me….Joey the Orange, just knowing this turd is out there makes me feel dead inside. Abercrombag with a tramp stamp over his junk? Good idea…dick. And Holly, good god Holly is a curvacious dream, I could care less about the guy in that picture, I want to dunk my granola bar in her. But I digress, Joey the Orange FTW because of the GSR and that picture makes me want to vomit. I need a beer!

7:16 am September, 20 Bag Margera said...

Liptat is a living lip herp. To see him infect such a beautiful girl with such beautifully sculpted chesticles, makes my eyes rot with bleach. Liptat has many, many bag signifiers, and its all amplified with a steaming douche aura, I could see him easily winning a monthly. Lipherp FTKITN.

7:17 am September, 20 ElderDouch said...

I have to go with Mister Liptatt and Holly only because Holly is the hotest of them all in a kind of pumped up fake boobies sort of way.

7:19 am September, 20 justadouchalo said...

Hots in cocktail dresses? Ass stain with his shirt off? Yup, Joey the Orange for the win. Why no one has slammed this colon polyp’s head in a car door ala
Raging Bull only Allah the Beneficent and Merciful knows.

7:21 am September, 20 Douche Springsteen said...

I originally wanted to go with Liptatt and Holly but after further consideration, while little head says she is hotter than Clarissa, big head says she is more bleethed out. Also, the Abercrombag’s “psscht, yeah bro, my shit’s hot” sneer is the most offensive visage of the three. Clarissa’s taut curves and the Abercrombag’s sense of entitlement for the weekly.

7:23 am September, 20 ehcuodouche said...

Mr. Liptatt is a walking warning to all douchebags. This is what will happen to you when you get a desk job, can’t get to the gym, and the boozing starts catching up to you. Ultimately, his moobs will be larger than Holly’s and she will not like the competition.

Yeah, and lipstick tatt on neck = instadouche.

7:48 am September, 20 Guns-N-Douches said...

Gavin the Orange pulls b-list hotts, so no cookie for you, though your video is douche to the core. Your x-treme GSR is also pretty awful. Originally I thought this guy was a male stripper hired for a sorority initiation night.

Clarissa almost pulls it out for the Abercrombag, as he is douchey enough to win some weeklys, but not nearly awful enough to beat our next contestant.

Liptatt is redefining douchetats (almost as bad as Mr. Rated P for Poo). Sure, the lipsticky inkspot is fuckall awful, but nipple encircling tattoos are the mark of Satan. I’d like to use my belt sander with 50 grit sandpaper to remove that blasphemous bit of tat-artist spew. And Holly…. oh my Holly. The rings of delight that are your bikini bottom would sound just wonderful bouncing across my tile bathroom floor as they are discarded to make way for a game of Wesson Oil Twister. Lipshitz and Holly FTW.

7:59 am September, 20 chaserofthehott said...

I’ve gotta go with Joey the Orange due to his weak ass workout video. Anyone that puts something like that on the interwebs and is proud of it deserves to win something. By win something I mean loose something of course, dignity would be a great start.

8:04 am September, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Revelations says that soon will come the one.

The one who parties like a fratbag, looks like a eurobag, is loved as a douchebag, can perform parkourbag keg stand fellatio on camera and volunteer as a gay bar stripper while working as a party promoter. His alias is Joey the Orange and he is the new Gommorah. Joey for the Apocalypse.

8:05 am September, 20 End the Haberdouchery said...

Mr. Liptatt gets my vote. Not for his sippee cup, or the lip tatt, or the chin pubes, or the carp leaving a trail of slime across his chest. He gets my vote for the tiny jelly roll between his sagging pec and his first abdominal. I think Joey’s got a few moves that could help with that. Holly’s body just gave me my first of many boners for the day. Tip of the cap to you my lady.

8:08 am September, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Follow DB1’s link to youtube and look at a few more of “Joeys” links to see what this dude is all about. I think he is a keg stand felattio one day party with the Judith Sisters the next kind of Bisexual Renassiance Bag. Joey does it all douchey.

8:14 am September, 20 boatbutter said...

Abercrombag already has the “D” tattoo. I say give it to him.

8:15 am September, 20 theshadowhost said...

Joey Orange, because it’s hailing douchebags and no amount of quarters seems to make the problem go away.

8:17 am September, 20 McBagsworth said...

Joey the Orange. Everything the Reverend said. Damning evidence provided by YouTube, case closed.

8:21 am September, 20 Mr. White said...

Liptatt takes it. The dripping douchosity of tatting lips to your neck is only offset by the fact that it gives vampires a target for where to start biting. And not those lame Twilight vampires, either. I mean those nasty bastards in 30 Days of Night. May they come to dismember him soon.
.
Also, Holly has a bathing suit made out of shower curtain rings. Brava.

8:37 am September, 20 boatbutter said...

Feed all “contestants” to the Kraken.

8:40 am September, 20 Crucial Head said...

I’m voting for Liptatt and Holly.

But “pooch lick Clarissa’s pot belly potty bell” goes right up there next to “fellatio handlebars,” “glory hole doily,” and “TARMAL” in the hallowed HCwDB lexicon of comedic gold.

Heh heh heh.

8:47 am September, 20 Justin said...

Mr. Liptatt and Holly, definitely. GSR, chin pubes, huge white watch, horrible tatts, spiky hair, hand-gesturing toward the camera, diamond earrings, head-locking the hott (who is impeccable), the list goes on and on and on and on…

8:48 am September, 20 Taint Nuthin But A G-Thang said...

Liptatt makes me want to take a bath in pure ethanol to cleanse me of any possible skin bacterial infections I’ve gotten just from looking at his picture. Holly is so hott, she has started a fire in my nether regions. Liptatt FTW all the way.

8:49 am September, 20 mr.reeve said...

Liptatt and Holly FTW
Liptatt is the type of faux tough guy/wanna be MMA ‘bag that pollutes the Vegas pool scene. Holly is the hot that makes up for Liptatts polution. Holly is P2P hot and I do not see Bleetheness in her pose. I do see that she is a little scared or disgusted by Liptatts creepy lean and overly aggressive fondling of her nearly perfect hour glass figure. Holly has the frame that makes dogs bark, cats meow and grown men wet their pants.

8:50 am September, 20 mr.reeve said...

Also, I say Holly for HoH.

8:55 am September, 20 Douchey the Great said...

It’s Joey the Orange FTW. The video says it all. The Scrotometer was off the charts and with all the Bleeths licking the camera. After watching that I needed a shower and body scrub like in the movie Silkwood.

9:03 am September, 20 massengill said...

Mister Liptatt and Holly FTW

9:04 am September, 20 Constantine IX Monodouchos said...

Liptatt.

9:05 am September, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

When I first stumbled across this site however long ago it was I realized there were others out there like me who shared the same disgust, anger, wft and bewilderment when seeing a hot chick with an obvious mess of the male species. I always wondered to myself why these chicks were attracted to such idiocy. As time went by I’ve tried to teach myself to just let it go and not let it get to me yet it still chaps my hide when I witness this whether in public or here on the interwebs. That being said I feel it’s my/our duty to not give up or push it to the back of the subconscious. So mock I must and mock I will.
.
FTW I’m going with Liptatt & Holly. Holly gets the HCwDB equation started as she is a Hott, sexy, curvaceous, sexual mind melt. Seeing her with the other half of the equation Liptatt, along with his obvious worship of mass media idealization and subsequent fail, solidifies this coupling.
.

9:07 am September, 20 Condouchious said...

Liptat because he makes me physically ill on multiple levels. Patch of chin pubes, ugly tattoos (the chest one doesn’t sit well with me for some reason), moobs…but the thing that sickens me the most is that he was able to land of hott of Holly’s caliber.

No.Fucking.Justice.

9:13 am September, 20 One for the Choad said...

Clarissa is a lovely slice of cheesecake, and Holly has the best bod (though a bit too far on the bleethy side), but the combination of girl next door hottness plus that obnoxious GSR gives Joey the Orange the win. Yuck.

9:13 am September, 20 End the Haberdouchery said...

Boatbutter, thanks for that link and my second boner of the day.

9:17 am September, 20 Wedgie said...

One vote for #2; only an average d.b. but Holly Hottie is a H.O.H. candidate. Post more pics of her, and I will continue to ogle. And by ogle, I mean beat the shit out of little Wedgie.

9:34 am September, 20 Vin Douchal said...

While Joey the Orange may have made the Judith sisters, who all came in smelling like lilac scented, “Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific” purchased in the 2 gallon jug size from the 99Cents Store leave with grease stains on the back of their dresses, his only crime is being shirtless in this obviously wrong setting and The Abercrombag brings a hott with a perfect, hickie-able mid-section, I have to go with Mister Liptatt and Holly FTW.
.
Because Mr L is bringing the wrong and Holly will someday be in Hustler/Penthouse/porn so I will be able to see her boobies

9:34 am September, 20 Vin Douchal said...

Gotta close that bold thingie, eh?

9:46 am September, 20 Deltus said...

Liptatt and Holly are the most toxic combo by far this week. None of the douchenozzles stand out above the others, but Holly is so scrumpdillyicious in every possible way, just knowing that a taint crumb like Liptatt is even allowed within 10 feet of such bodysuckle perfection sends me into a baby harp seal murdering rage. And not even for the pelts, I’ll just discard the carcasses off to the side. Don’t blame me, blame the dumbest neck tatt to ever adorn such an undeservedly lucky choadwank, and the hottest body to grace this website in a while. Stupid seal babies… *stabby stab stab*
.
Liptatt and Holly FTW.

9:51 am September, 20 Business-Casual Douche said...

Joey the Orange FTW, on the strength of that supplemental video alone. He’s a complete choad, but you gotta give the guy credit: It’s not even noon yet and I want to shoot myself.

9:58 am September, 20 Charles Ulysses Farley said...

Liptard and Holly FTW. The juxtaposition of her hottness and welcoming smile to his douche aura and arrogant smirk is the kind of thing that causes God to destroy cities and flood the earth to rid it of wickedness.

10:15 am September, 20 Douchey Smurf said...

Mister Liptatt and Holly fo sho. If I could get my right ear anywhere near that third ring…

10:15 am September, 20 all bagged out said...

Joey the Orange makes me puke. Violently. And I hate puking. The GSR is embarrasing and mock-worthy.Now pull your pants up Joey, you silly assclown.

Joey For The Week.

10:24 am September, 20 anonymous said...

Liptatt. Holly is the hottest hott and his lip tattoo is one of the stupidest tattoos I’ve ever seen.

10:37 am September, 20 Vin Douchal said...

From the “For The Hell of it Dept” :
.
Chistina Hendricks in Green Dress

10:38 am September, 20 Vin Douchal said...

Don’t click that ^ go here instead: Click

10:53 am September, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

There’s gotsta be a naked pic of that Hendrick’s chick. I don’t like her with the clothes. Have to see the whole pale, ginger,freckled, fullfigured,mature womanly, well-breastesized, child-bearing hips, matonly, strong jaw and all at once to… Oh fucck it. I’d hit her. Done bigger.

11:00 am September, 20 Sack O Douche said...

Mister Liptatt and Holly are my pick. Holly has made me do some “research” while home alone with my lotion. Liptatt makes me want to take a giant crap and leave it for my brother for the next time he goes to the bathroom. In other words, he is poo.
Holly for HoH.

11:18 am September, 20 Jacques Doucheteau said...

That liptatt by itself is reason enough for sultry Holly to leave his sorry ass and come bed down with me. We won’t even mention the lip funk and those atrocious plaid shorts. Fear not young mistress, for I shall rescue you from this taint and honor your chastity. And by honor I mean “insert my penis into”. And by chastity I mean her… well, anything really. Mister Liptatt and “My future restraining order” Holly FTW.

11:25 am September, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

Not since “The Mystery of 4-Prongs Prong” have I been so indecisive. All three are supremely douchy, all three make me want to cram my magnifying glass directly into my eye, and all three make we want to bat for the other team. But there can be only one, so my vote goes to Dipshit Lip-Tat and his Three-Ringed Missus.

11:32 am September, 20 dbBen said...

Abercrombag
.
I do this for Clarissa, because I’d like to pretend I’m not familiar with a cuisine and I’d like her help on deciding what to order. Her anticipation of the dish is only outdone by my occasional fleeting glance at her exposed ankle.

11:38 am September, 20 CBS said...

ummm. I choose….ummm…i choose…Ben Richards.

He’s one mean muthafucka and if he can kill Sub Zero, Buzzsaw and Fireball…i just know he can slaughter these douchebags too.

We are voting for stalkers right?

11:45 am September, 20 CBS said...

Reviewing my notes:
I have Joey the Orange as most likely to stick his dick in your gf’s mouth without permission
I have Mr Lipptatt as most likely to stick his dick in his own mouth with your permission.
I have Abercrombag as most likely to stick his roofies in your gf’s drink and then a plastic penis inside her anoose without permission bc his dick is very very grasshopper proportions and he’s gay.

All 3 should be shot on sight…so I will choose based on the power of the hotts. That would be Holly FTW

11:50 am September, 20 Scooby Douche said...

Joey: low-rent wannabe, lacks imagination and ambition. Hey Joey, out here in California we don’t let girls that ugly into the party. Except to sweep up after it’s over.

Abercrombag has a few minor-league tats. Points off for lack of originality and female with inadequate rack. Gotta step up bro, this is the big leagues! Work on your game in the off-season and come back next spring.

Liptatt is the bomb! Horrible shorts, tasteless tatts, chin pubes, smirk face, gay earring, (sippee cup?), stupid hand and face gestures, shamelessly offset against luscious Holly and her ring bikini.

He should be sentenced to 10-15 years in Chino State Prison, where his ass will see more traffic than the Santa Monica Freeway at 5:30 p.m. on the Friday afternoon before Labor Day. Holly should be chauffeured over to my beach house for a lovely sunset, some wine, and a rousing game of hide the sausage.

12:17 pm September, 20 scrotum pole said...

L.T.’s lip tatt is lame, but the words scrawled across his chest are even more damning. Best I can tell they read, ” Mind of a Parking Meter, Soul of a Bowling Shoe, Breasts of a Developing Schoolgirl.”

12:59 pm September, 20 anonymouse said...

Mister Liptatt and Holly. Moobs and boobs.

1:08 pm September, 20 C. Everett Coop said...

My vote must go to Joey. Joey has been my personal oil applicator for five years now. No one is going to see this right on fuccking sweet Jesus Joey don’t touch me there , don’t press the sub’o’;popopok

1:34 pm September, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Mister Lipptatt and Holly FTW.
.
Joey is a gay bag so the Hotts have nothing to worry about: Exhibit 1 in the People v. Douchebag: http://manhuntdaily.com/2010/08/we-cant-get-enough-of-gavin-waters/
.
Aberbag has a Hott that looks like one of the bedbugs infesting the NYC store.
http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2010/07/03/2010-07-03_bedbugs_shutter_2nd_store_seaports_abercrombie__fitch_infested.html

1:41 pm September, 20 Architeuthis Douche said...

Liptat douche, although I’m hoping that’s the beginning of some sort of cyst that will prove fatal.

1:44 pm September, 20 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

My lot shall be cast for Holly and her less-than-intelligent grunt with the third nipple tattooed on his neck. I’m positive, well, as positive as a binging drunkard hopped-up on smack and shrooms can be, that Holly is actually Megan Fox’s less rich, less famous, but equally as slutty, younger sister. And that’s just the type of floozy goddess I long to molest… I mean “date”. Ps. Liptatt, here’s your homework: Go into mom’s basement and drink the bottle labeled “Drano”. Please continue to do so until you notice blood oozing from your ears. Charles Darwin says thanks in advance.

2:11 pm September, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

Dangit. I haven’t been this confused since I slid open the drawer of my nightstand at bedtime yesterday and had to choose between the Eager Beaver, the Pony Express or Thunderfist 5000. I’m gonna go with Mr. Lipptat, however, ’cause he’s clearly the biggest dildo in this drawer.

2:16 pm September, 20 Troy Tempest said...

Liptatt FTW because he’s just a roiling canker sore on the fuzzy butthole of humanity.

2:49 pm September, 20 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Mister Liptatt and Holly FTWeekly, for bein’ a big lipstain on humanity, and her boobs bein’ big ‘uns for humanity.

2:50 pm September, 20 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Mr Liptatt FTW (loss) strictly on the basis of Holly’s all-time-hott hottness. All choices this week are herp with a pulse and the difference between winner and second place (Abercrombag) is the temperature difference between the hotts. Holly is the Left Faucet, personified.

2:58 pm September, 20 Dex said...

Say what you will about the Liptat and Abercrombag. At least they are shirtless in the proper venue. Orange Joey is surrounded by undergrad hotts wearing cocktail dresses. His shirtless GSR behavior is completely inexcusable, and the video of his ladies night party is so boring I zoned out halfway through and imagined DJ Lance busting down the door and smacking the taste out of Joey’s mouth for trying to copy his costume. Then he gets Biz Markie to lay down some beats while he teaches that house full of stone-faced mannequins to do a dancey dance.
Truly awesome.

3:18 pm September, 20 DarkSock said...

I just can’t get over Clarissa’s “Wonder Years Winnie” look, but the most enraging pairing without hesitation is Mr. Liptatt and Holly.
.
I want to sharpen a frozen hot dog and stab his lip tatt with it so it looks like a mouth in the throes of cock-vomiting.
.
Mr. Liptatt and Holly FTW.

3:28 pm September, 20 collosus of choads said...

My humble vote goes to whoever or whome-ever is responsible for that Waters kid bullshit.

3:36 pm September, 20 Anonymous said...

This week sees a catalogue of douche with nearly every aspect of the genre displayed.
While Joey Da O may well be ‘low-rent wannabe [who] lacks imagination and ambition’ just look at the dedication!
Mister Liptatt rates very highly with his ironic use of plaid shorts and pink wristband. It’s as if he’s daring us to call him gay by inferring ‘hey, how could someone like me possibly be gay?’ Which, of course, is the giveaway…
Abercrombag is also clearly dedicated to imagery. His own. Observed at every given opportunity from any reflective device day or night. Clarissa looks worried, as well she should be.
In summation my vote must go to Mister Liptatt. I’d like to add that I heard from an anonymous source that his cup contains urine possibly once contained in the bladder of Holly (with the ascending left boob).
Liptatt FTW.

3:38 pm September, 20 Douche Boyardee's Cheese and Bagaroni said...

Mister Liptatt and Holly get my vote this week.

He makes me want to drive a bus full of nuns to the nearest arctic coast inhabited by seals. Once we get there, I hand out solid maple louisville sluggers, this picture and tell them to go allTyler Colvinon the latest litter of pups.

Holly, the holy, humpable, heiress of hottness; let me count the ways that I appreciate you. 1*fap*, 2*fap*, 3*fap* AHH…um.. sorry it’s been a while. Thanks for the ringed GSR and mashed uplifted boobies.. they are spanktacular.

3:39 pm September, 20 tall guy said...

hey, bought a new ‘puter on the w’end and that anonymous vote above is mine.

3:42 pm September, 20 tall guy said...

i mean the one above Douche Boyardee’s Cheese and Bagaroni. Sorry. I didn’t fill in the fields when I posted my vote. I’m too used to not doing it.

3:45 pm September, 20 tall guy said...

Plus I’m not sure if it’s the graphics or colouring of this new device, but Clarissa, although of a hottness I’d ingest lumps of charcoal for, is rather orange-tinged.

3:46 pm September, 20 jonezy said...

those are some very hot Hotts.
.
More Holly please.

4:12 pm September, 20 douche bagel said...

joey orange came out swinging GSR like he invented it and wanted a patent. maybe signa woo phi sisters were impressed but not holly. lipster mctatt sneered in his general direction and flexed retarted peacock moob and holly grabbed the nearest shower curtain and put herself directly in the line of grease. joey backed off because its ladies night and he had to do more pushups
liptatt FTW

4:20 pm September, 20 Senor Squash said...

“Gavin Waters” and his buddy “Landon Mycles” (in pic) are both gay-for-pay manwhores (not that there’s anything wrong with that). “Landon’s” career includes the award-avoiding “Getting Levi’s Johnson” and a cameo in “Pizza Boy Gangbang”. “Gavin” is featured in the video “Snap Shot”, featuring a sad orange couch, a tatted dude with perfect eyebrows, and a large dildo.

The above is true, as graphically shown to me by my neighbor, gay porn maven Bryann. (We brunch on Sundays.)

This should automatically disqualify both as bone fide (typo, stays) douchebags, while at the same time explains why the drunken semi-hotts in the featured pic pose as the dudes were knock-off Coach bags bought afterhours at the Rahway Fairgrounds flea market.

Liptatt FTW.

4:25 pm September, 20 Senor Squash said...

*pose as IF the dudes…

Oh, and thanks, MC 900. Glad someone else called out the gaybaggery.

4:31 pm September, 20 Snoop Douchey Bagg said...

Joey the Orange’s YouTube clip proves him to be not only a giant douche but also a complete asshole.

Joey FTW

5:52 pm September, 20 Sir David Douchenborough said...

Indeed, Orange GSR should win because of this audacious douchosity of being in a party, inside…during what appears to be late afternoon or evening.

However, Orange GSR and the Ambercrombag at least know how to train themselves. Liptatt probably thought by tatting himself up so much close to this neck and head, it would make up for the fact that his mermaid tatt draws attention to the fact that elder female pigs have better developed teats than his mini hanging baskets.

I am sure when confronted with that subtle, yet pertinent shortcoming, he probably blames his gynecomastia when in reality, he probably is one of the idiots you meet at the gym who hog a station for a half an hour by resting for 10 minutes between each 3 rep set while admiring themselves in the mirror.

That is the crux of this one. A douchebag’s scrote level is measure just by how FAR they have overestimated their actual appeal by employing empty and materialistic half-measures. Liptatt has this written all over him. And that is bolstered especially since that sleek and elegant beautiful Hott was thoughtless enough to stand near him.

Liptatt is the guy who would boast about his bench press but would complain if you asked him to help move a table because he wanted to “keep his pump for the hoes.”

Liptatt,definitely.

6:33 pm September, 20 soy bomb said...

I (foolishly) clicked on MC900KDB’s link and am just feeling sad now. Mister Liptatt and Holly for the Weekly, and me for some therapy.

6:41 pm September, 20 The Dude said...

Great selection this week!

Liptatt ftw

Holly for HoH

6:43 pm September, 20 Nuke La Douche said...

LipTat wins, but only because of the extreme hotness of Holly. The contrast is just overwhelming. The other visible tat being a peacock feather also adds to the overall douchiness, as do the Lorenzo-Llamas-if-he-was-playing-the-Terminator shades, as does the three-finger-ay-oh-oh-ay gesture., as does the soul patch…

Overall, it’s a Tour-De-Douche-Force.

And again, the extreme hottness of Holly really brings out the douche in this specimen.

7:28 pm September, 20 Steve L. said...

how often do we get BOTH the male and female components of an HCwDB pic writing in to demonstrate their complete lack of redeeming qualities? once in an orange moon, that’s how often.
.
Joey the Orange and Judith Sisters FTW. Joey and SK’s performance needs to be enshrined in molten slag.

8:15 pm September, 20 Rigel said...

Is it just me or does Abercrombag look a little like a bleached out, pumped up, fake tanned Keanu Reeves? Think it’s just that arrogant-but-confused-and-stupid look on his face… Although I feel like the comparison puts Mr. Reeves on a much lower level than he may necessarily deserve.

I think that Abercrombag and Holly should take a picture together, just to make sure they catch the monthly. That would be an epic picture.

I’m going to vote for Holly and Liptatt. Both Holly and Clarissa are edging into butterfaceness, but Holly’s body more than makes up for the feeling I have that those glasses are there for a reason. And Liptatt is ultimate chode: he has neither the body (check saggy man titties) nor the grooming skills (check face fungus) to back up the cockiness that he exudes. Could he beat me up? Probably. But I’m also a 120 pound girl. And would have to be very, very drunk to be in the same room as him.

8:27 pm September, 20 Paul Muad'douche, the Kwisatz Scroterach said...

Sometimes, it’s simple: the HCwDBotW is the hottest hott with the douchiest douche. And Liptatt and Holly are that blend of the infernal and the sublime.

8:46 pm September, 20 creature said...

liptatt is poo incarnate… ftw

10:15 pm September, 20 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

Joey the Orange FTW. Pull up your pants and put on a shirt. This isn’t Fire Island.

10:22 pm September, 20 Baleen said...

When I saw the disgrace that is Liptatt somehow pulling HoH material, I annointed my balls in Sterno fuel and lit them on fire. So I thought, “hey, this fruitbag deserves a weekly.”

11:34 pm September, 20 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

I like Joey the Orange and J.S. The Judith Sisters are all kinds of Quartasian funbags, and if that dork Joey wore his jeans any lower they would be around his knees. Which is where they belong as he waddles the gauntlet of many blows for his douchebag punishment. Big [dis]honorable mention for the lip tatt, though. It occurs to me that Stackhouse needs one of those.

3:01 am September, 21 Istandouche said...

Mr. Liptatt deserves a hard smack on the lips just for his tattoo and Holly is simply delicious with the most awe-inspiring bikini bottom detail on her hips. Yummm..

9:41 am September, 21 Anonymous said...

My choice is Liptatt and Holly. More of Holly please! And we need her into the HoH ASAP!!!

12:29 pm September, 21 Wheezer said...

Abercrombag? Look here, bub: when your dad and his buddies wore their Z. Cavaricci and B.U.M. Equipment shit with the shoulder-to-shoulder lettering, it sucked then, too. Don’t raid the attic for fashion ideas, OK? You’re thus worthy of scorn and ridicule, but I’m going to forget about you the way the world forgot about parachute pants. And we all win that way.
.
While Gavin Waters/Joey the Orange is a jagoff for calling us “haters” (yawn), he’s apparently a gaybag and cannot win the Weekly…..can he? That GSR is pretty toxic. Well, I’m not voting for him, and I don’t know if he’s quite orange enough to slip inside—–errrrr, beside Cheeto Man in the Closet of Poo. And sharing undies with Vlad the Inhaler is simply gross. You can’t spell ‘gross’ without “G-S-R.”
.
I’m voting for Liptatt and Holly FTW. Holly will get an award for “bikini that shouldn’t be but hints at what it should be” – by that, I mean the ringlets. Plus those damned curves…..oh my! She is supreme. Did I hear Hall of Hott? That’s a damned good possibility, but I want more photos of her! And Liptatt? He’s got the AA-cup mitties workin’ OT right now. In five years, he’ll be rockin’ the moobies. By the time he’s 40, he’ll need a sweet chariot to haul around those swingin’ low muggs. And he’ll still be bustin’ hand gestures when that kelp on his chest stretches out long enough to feed Ethiopia.

12:36 pm September, 21 Ol' Dirty Douchebag said...

I make it a personal point of emphasis to vote for GSR but Pepperoni Nips and Holly are really what this site’s all about. Plus LipstickTatHole seems to have “Mind of Mencia” stenciled to his neck. WTF? Seriously, WTF?

The unseen image of Joey from the back continues to haunt me. Sorta like the way I imagine Holly looking like Sammy Sosa without her glasses.

There’s clearly something fundamentally wrong with me.

1:36 pm September, 21 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

The Abercrombag and Clarissa FTW. He is a walking sample board of “Most Popular Chick Tatts”, with the names of his four illegitimate kids scrawled in “Olde English” on the inside of his left thigh and a pink triangle on his right ankle. When he’s older he will regret getting the tramp stamp and look to have it removed. In response to the laser technician’s initial question Abercombag will cornfully spit “Of course the one on my groin. You think I’d want to lose the sweet one on my ass?! Pffft!”
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And Clarissa because we could order the Chili’s Two-for-Twenty meal and all she’d want is the butter pats to rub on her skin.

2:20 pm September, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Joey the Orange and the Judith Sisters FTW! Why? I’m too fuccen tired to be witty. This P.O.S. make my soul hurt and that takes A LOT because I don’t have one.

2:57 pm September, 21 the motley douche said...

JTO almost got my vote for the quantity of his hotts. But other than the blatant GSR, he doesn’t invoke as much rage as the other weekly candidates.

The recently-formed Ratio of Rage Invocation to Lusty Hottness must be applied and doing so leaves only one logical choice. Liptatt and Holly. He is scrote. She is scrumptious. He smells like Axe and diarrhea. She smells like the first light rain of spring. I like the first rain of spring…And boobies…

LT & H for the weekly.

3:08 pm September, 21 Meathead the Builder said...

I think all three are worthy of winning, but Liptatt and Holly FTW. Liptatt is a pure Vegas ‘bag. Holly makes me want to dry hump my couch. Holly is what I love about Vegas and Liptatt is what I hate.

4:27 pm September, 21 revveduplikeadouche said...

Liptatt for the win. Looks like Walt Disney threw up on him.
wrong on so many levels

5:21 am September, 22 Douche Equis said...

This is the best set of hotts in a while, and is making my decision difficult . . . hmmm . . . quantity? quality? . . . I prefer quality, which narrows it to two, and I think Clarissa’s sunglasses may be hiding one of those masculine Asian gal faces, so I’m going with Smoot Jr., aka Mr. Liptatt, and Holly’s bikini rings for the win.

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