Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Jimmy Scribble


With no paper available at the pool party, Hott Bikini Hannah had to practice her new career inscribing wedding calligraphy somewhere.

# posted by douchebag1
4:13 pm September, 22 DadBag said...

Still got a couple cum dribbles on his lip – and what the hell is up with the doilie tattoo??!!

4:13 pm September, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

It says “Gimmick” on his side. Finally, an honest Douchebag.

4:14 pm September, 22 DadBag said...

He’s also 4 months pregnant – jeez what a douche

4:20 pm September, 22 mehoff said...

nail polish

4:26 pm September, 22 End the Haberdouchery said...

His distended abdomen makes me want to donate a dollar a month to feed him.

4:37 pm September, 22 system of a douche said...

Horace loves his GaGa blast shield sunglasses, but refrained from using the mauve nail polish, thinking it would look too gay.

4:41 pm September, 22 system of a douche said...

Over the semi-hott’s shoulder, Jimmy gazes longingly at Tatty McPlaid’s rump.

4:53 pm September, 22 Vin Douchal said...

@ Medusa
.
It clearly says “Limerick” on his side
.
A pasty choad with a comely lass
Removes doubts that he is an ass
With some shitty bling
Dude, two finger ring?
A Riverside snake in the grass

4:56 pm September, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Jimmy regrets eating the tainted mussels with chive butter sauce at the buffet.

4:59 pm September, 22 Wedgie said...

Side says “Gimmick”. As in, “my black nail polish is a fuccen gimmick to pull girls with big bellies”. The one around his neck says “place noose here”. OK, whatever you say, d’bag.

5:04 pm September, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Ton’ya fell for Jimmy because they had one thing in common, Inflammatory Bowel Disease. A reciprocal relationship in mutual sharting blossomed at the Turks and Crapos resort.

5:05 pm September, 22 Wedgie said...

Or “Get In My Belly”.

5:06 pm September, 22 scrotum pole said...

Not sure about his flank tatt, but his chest tatt declares, “Death, Before Employment.”

5:08 pm September, 22 Vin Douchal said...

An annoying douche, a fifth wheel
Thinks he looks like an F’ing big deal
But don’t expect Cupid
‘Cause dude you look stupid
Bringing less than zero sex appeal

5:10 pm September, 22 Bopeep said...

I would buy Hannah a used BMW, which would be promptly impounded when she leaves it in a handicapped space at the mall. Barney’s home address is: “second trailer on the right”

5:17 pm September, 22 tall guy said...

They could both lay off the ham. Or whatever it is that’s making their guts grow.

5:29 pm September, 22 Nancy Dreuche said...

Joaquin Phoenix just got a whole lot douchier. Hip hop career didn’t take off so time for some lameoid tatts and a lady friend whose into aviators which accentuate her finely sculpted eyebrows. Hey, Brothabag, I think I found your eyebrow soulmate. And its a chick! Whaaa?

5:40 pm September, 22 scrotum pole said...

My two favorite things in life are boobies and Easter candy.
Therefore, I’ve convinced myself that her bikini top is constructed entirely of edible Peeps

5:47 pm September, 22 scrotum pole said...

My two other favorite things in life are Mexican food and edible vaginas.

6:43 pm September, 22 mr.reeve said...

Dude wearing chick sunglasses = autofag

6:44 pm September, 22 Turdacious said...

It says Gimpdick

6:46 pm September, 22 Turdacious said...

this guy does 1 better then a 6 pack
its called a Kegpack

6:47 pm September, 22 Turdacious said...

this guy does 1 better then a 6 pack
its called a Kegpack
I’d love to tap her

6:57 pm September, 22 massengill said...

Christine Hendrix

6:57 pm September, 22 massengill said...

fuck
.
Christina Hendricks

6:58 pm September, 22 massengill said...

shit. I wish I could delete that.

6:58 pm September, 22 massengill said...

GOD I’M SO STUPID

7:04 pm September, 22 Turdacious said...

@massengill
lol, at least its only you thinking that,
I heard it 3 times today and if my dog could talk i woulda heard it twice more

7:08 pm September, 22 Turdacious said...

false alarm, its no kegpack.
hes got worms

7:17 pm September, 22 Taint Nuthin But A G-Thang said...

This guy makes me ponder a serious question which I don’t know whether or not it’s been addressed.

DB1,
Please forgive me if I’ve missed the answer to this question before, but I must know the ruling on this. If a dude has a “lip ring/stud” where his flavor savor should be (or really any location around his lips) does this qualify for autodouche status? Or, is it just one more thing to mock when other factors have made the douchebag status clear? I can only imagine this pud sitting around admiring himself in a virus covered mirror muttering, “dude, I should get a lip stud in the center of my chin…..that’d be SOOOOO righteous brah!”

Yours in The Mock,
Taint

7:23 pm September, 22 Steve L. said...

why doesn’t Hannah practice her calligraphy on… me?
then again maybe she shouldn’t.

8:20 pm September, 22 Wedgie said...

^She practiced on Jimmy’s johnson, and she managed to fit the number “1” on it before she ran out of space.

10:16 pm September, 22 Crucial Head said...

The funny thing is, if you zoom in on the reflection in their sunglasses, you will see a giraffe with its neck fully submerged in Ghost Adventure’s asshole.

10:20 pm September, 22 Crucial Head said...

If anyone can explain the geometric configuration of the head and separate gendered torso’s behind this couple, I will gladly pay them with DarkSock’s Christmas bonus.

4:16 am September, 23 Devon Wheatcakes said...

^ I can’t explain it either., I want to punch it in the mouth and eat it’s pussy all at the same time.
.
Damn, I could have used that fifty bucks too.

6:33 am September, 23 boatbutter said...

Must’ve been a tricky groin shave not being able to see over that distended belly of his.

7:06 am September, 23 DarkSock said...

Darla and Sam gave each other a gentle good luck hug before carefully climbing the stairs to the podium of the 2010 Couple’s Mudhorn Competition.

7:08 am September, 23 DarkSock said...

As a former drafter, I appreciate the fact that she used her glasses as a straight edge for the Sharpie she drew those eyebrows on with.
.
I want to rub Shea Butter on her tummy in heretofore unknown circular motions.

7:37 am September, 23 Deltus said...

I just don’t understand people that get seriously stupid tattoos. It’s etched right into your dermis, people!

7:47 am September, 23 DarkSock said...

I will gladly pay them with DarkSock’s Christmas bonus…
.
Better make sure they live in the South; I don’t think White Castle accepts Krystals coupons.

8:46 am September, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Um, did anyone else notice that he has gold granny chains on his sunglasses? Is this the first time we’ve seen this in the annals of douchedom? That’s some serious hardcore shit there. I guess he beat up Hannah’s great grandmother for those. Luckily Great Grandma Hannah can identify him by the neck tatt that says “Funk the Fore, I’m a gloryhole whore”.

8:51 am September, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Crucial
.
I’d like to claim that bonus now. Haven’t you ever seen opposite sex Siamese twins with the underdeveloped head of their retarded triplet brother that wasn’t amputated right after birth? Geez, am I the only one that goes to the carnivals on the Georgia-Tennessee border anymore? Wait…maybe that was a family reunion? Hold on, now I’m REALLY confused.

10:34 am September, 23 UFO Destroyers said...

There are only two types of people that should wear his sunglasses. Your Aunt Mildred that lives in Boca, and Vincenzo Spatone that frequents the OTB establishments on his off days working for the “sanitation department.” And this guy ain’t as tough as your Aunt Mildred–even after her hip-replacement surgery last February.

10:50 am September, 23 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Bacon tits here should stop it with the kini! We need jugs!

10:52 am September, 23 CBS said...

i can some this up in one word i think… EWWWWWWW

10:55 am September, 23 Douchey Smurf said...

Jimmy Scribble… the bathroom is over yonder. Better get the “kids to the pool”… before you splode.

11:13 am September, 23 Medusa Oblongata said...

“Under The Fore Skin”? Is that what it says?

12:17 pm September, 23 Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho said...

Does he have a pierced lower lip, or is that drool?

5:55 pm September, 23 Wedgie said...

The tatt around his neck says “I Love Vegas Ass Kicker”.

7:02 pm September, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

The necklace tatt goes all around his shoulders and reads,” If I’m not with the whore I love, I love the whore I’m with.”

7:14 pm September, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Neck tatt reads,
“I thank the store I f’cked.”

7:16 pm September, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Necklace tatt reads,
“Thank the whore I freaked.”

7:18 pm September, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Both of these two have tum-tums for the simple reason they enjoy rolling around on each other.

7:19 pm September, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Yellow ruffled bikini recalls the ad saying “Ruffles Have Ridges” but all I see are humps and a few valleys.

7:30 pm September, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

His tatt artist apparently enjoys inking Chancery cursive italics on his torso, but I’m sure Carolingian minuscule was used on his tweeter.

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