Thursday, September 23, 2010

My Swagger Sucks

But my ability to breakdance remains unparalleled.

# posted by douchebag1
7:01 am September, 23 DarkSock said...

Samurai Scrote’s stepbrother?

7:12 am September, 23 DarkSock said...

Lance finally figured out what to do with his shaved back hair and excess hair gel.
.
You know, it’s gotten damn hard to find a site to post comments (aka “I peed in a horse once”) without having to login or register these days.
.
I blame myself.

7:13 am September, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

At least my roots aren’t showing. And by roots I mean his door-to-door fresh seafood and produce salesman ancestry.

7:16 am September, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@DarkSock^
.
Have you tried registering as Krucial Head? I find the substitution of “K” for “C” somehow fools the pedophile databases.

7:24 am September, 23 Troy Tempest said...

When goths go on vacation?
.
There’s a pile of bands who have hair like this, and I know some of them personally, and they are Anti Douche hardcore fuck you kick ass take numbers type of people. But when they go on vacation (and they DO) they don’t get all gelled up and then dress like suburban assclowns.
.
This fool, however, is a classic doooooochebag – a poser, a con artist and cheat. His hair sez “Hardcore”, his outfit sez “stupid fuck”.
.
And the Bleeths come a-running – damn – dressing and acting like a fucking loser is like a dog whistle to these girls.

7:29 am September, 23 DarkSock said...

It was at this moment when Pfah realized he’d reached the zenith of his midlife crisis.

7:35 am September, 23 boatbutter said...

Funny, I’m wearing a t-shirt that reads, “Your midget Dee Snider girlfriend sucks.”

7:36 am September, 23 Musicman said...

Wow those hotts both look delicious. He looks like that weirdo that you might see at your local library.

7:39 am September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I thought Brittany Murphy was dead. This must be her and Lisa Bonet’s zombies. Blechhh. Him too.

7:40 am September, 23 Deltus said...

This taintball would get his ass beat down hard in so many corners, it’s not even funny.

7:45 am September, 23 DarkSock said...

I want to force him into a corner and pelt him with midget stool.

7:46 am September, 23 Et Tu Douche? said...

Peacocks around the world are currently in deep meditative repose wondering how their signature move, to attract the female of the species, has come to this. NBC is also looking into the matter concerning copyright infringement.

8:02 am September, 23 mr.reeve said...

It’s Woody Wood Sucker and his two hotts.

8:06 am September, 23 mr.reeve said...

The other side of his shirt reads,

Enter Your Swagger Here
ll
ll
ll
v

8:18 am September, 23 End the Haberdouchery said...

Don’t judge my swagger via a t-shirt you wore while getting a picture taken that was subsequently posted on a third-party website you arrogant bastard!

8:55 am September, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

My swagger may suck but yours sir, swallows!

8:59 am September, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Isn’t that bleeth on the right from one of those useless MTV shows? She looks vaguely familiar. What the hell else am I supposed to look at while in line to get checked out at the grocery store by yet another incompetent teenager that can’t find their ass even if you give them a map, a sherpa, a flashlight, blinking neon lights that say “Your ass is here dipshit!”, and a crowd chanting “It’s right behind you”.

9:01 am September, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Wasn’t he from a haiku a little while back? Fuccen teaching schedule prevents me from having any haiku fun. Hey, does anybody want to teach P-Chem for me from 10-11am on Fridays? Hey, form an orderly line and have a resume’ ready.

9:30 am September, 23 douche bagel said...

this guy is not helping my hangover. death by donkey erection disembowelment

9:58 am September, 23 Captain Garanichode said...

AGAIN I SAY…. NEVER be the first to fall asleep at Andy Dick’s slumber party!
.
Douchbuckle here must not have read the PSA

9:59 am September, 23 Captain Garanichode said...

Typically men will poke anything with two bumps a hole and a heartbeat, however I am not getting that vibe from Shakira’s back up dancers here.

10:41 am September, 23 Mr. Biggs said...

What I wanna see is a mohawk swagger Battle Royale. Pit them all up against the Shark in an octagon. That would be awesome.

10:50 am September, 23 CBS said...

Wacks Figure. If he can get an erection I would be impressed…i mean the guy looks like he has no blood in his skeletal frame. perhaps that is his beef…he is 35 and already walking with a cane. degenerates never had it so good as to be propped up by a couple of exotic hotts

11:07 am September, 23 Wheezer said...

@ Doc Bunsen, 9:01 a.m. –
.
Does this ring a bell?
Same colors, but diff’rent scrote.
Both still need beatdown.

11:10 am September, 23 Medusa Oblongata said...

Jesus, somebody get that dude some water and some iron pills, ASAP. And a hedge trimmer while you’re up.
.
I don’t swagger. I don’t need to. And the one thing about me that does suck? Well, you’ll never know anything about that, you detestable scarecrow.

11:55 am September, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Leave it to Wheezer (Hey, that sounds like the name of a great TV show). The all-knowing guru strikes again. Thanks Wheez. I sure fucced that one up.

12:02 pm September, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Bleeth on the right is easily one of the ugliest bleeths to disgrace this site.

I think we need a Hall of Nott Hott.

12:09 pm September, 23 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

Were I fortunate enough to have the requisite head hear to shellack up into a foot-high dorsal fin/erection substitute, I still wouldn’t do it, for fear of looking as douche-a-riffic as this ball o’ poo.

I can’t help wondering if hotts willingly pose with guys like that just so they can be viewed on sites such as this…

12:10 pm September, 23 The Goob the Bag and the Pudly said...

Otherwise known as “head hair.”

Damn you grain alcohol!

12:16 pm September, 23 Tom Chode said...

@ DoucheyWalnuts 12:02:

Agreed–she’s like a younger, less-curvy Sarah Jessica Parker. Bad times!

Is the other one the long-lost anorexic kardashian sister?

12:52 pm September, 23 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Off with his mohawk!

What, too high?

1:49 pm September, 23 Bagwood said...

Though the walking toilet brush makes me want to throw sand in my eyes, Olivia Neutron Bomb on the left beckons to me across the netwebs. I would belly-crawl through a feedlot to nuzzle her hairbrush, and have a diabeic seizure from dreams of brown sugar.

2:18 pm September, 23 system of a douche said...

Nothing redeemable here. These folks need to play in traffic.

3:41 pm September, 23 Vegas Ass Kicker said...

Why you all haten? You fucken losers. Get a fucking life and move out of your mom’s basement. Maybe you all need to get laid and release some shit. ASSHOLES!!!

4:40 pm September, 23 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

This prick needs a weight room and a fire hosing, and not in that order.

5:25 pm September, 23 Wedgie said...

Is the guy in this pic Vegas Ass Kicker? Fuccen dude is everywhere. Like herpes.

7:43 pm September, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Don’t tell DarkSock, but this IS Samurai Scrote himself, hardly his step-brother.
I can’t for the life of me figure out why the badly bleached blonde is pointing her mini-dildo at his taint, but the tasty Gingerbread Lady has more swagger in her suckle-thigh than Jimmy Swaggart falling all over himself in a sinner’s session at a tent rally.

9:32 pm September, 23 Steve L. said...

nothing inspires nightmares like a 40-something breakdancer who sports a red and black fauxhawk AND swaggers.

10:32 pm September, 23 Vegas Ass Kicker said...

See, yall start shit with my man here, Rick. Rick is the real shit in Vegas. This mutha fucka don’t play. He gets the pussy, wrecks it and moves on. You dorks wish you could have this game. You keep on posten us Vegas bad asses. You give us more respect with da homies and the bitches. They suck it and we fuck it. That mr.reeve homo is playen around too. That cunt will learn just like yall. Oh one more thing, yall come this way and play. You go home and than talk shit. Talk the shit next time you are here. VEGAS THUGZ DO NOT FUCK AROUND. TRY ME!!!! All your little blogs and website aint shit. We be living life. You talk about it and front like little cunts. You know the real deal. FUCK YOU! VEGA$ 4 LIFE!!!

11:28 pm September, 23 Wheezer said...

Vegas Pole Smoker…..
.
Let’s get one thing straight (pardon the expression): around here, pussy does not get “wrecked.” It gets crushed, and on the reg.
.
Until you can get your terminology corrected, don’t come around here actin’ all swole and shit. That’s just fuccen dead ghey to be doin’ around all us hatters.

12:35 am September, 24 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Wheezer reconciles the truth, as parsed by wiseman, and general Connoisseur de la langue l’Anglais, the inimitable Stackhouse. In other words, if you speaks like idiot (check Voltaire?) therefore you ARE an idiot…VPS. And yes, I count myself among the genus “Hatters,” although I do not usually wear hats…on the reg, of course…

9:06 am September, 24 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

“Posten”
.
Wasn’t he the actor that played the handyman on “Newhart”?

9:15 am September, 24 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

And don’t know if I’d ever want to be refered to as “the real shit”. Who want to be real shit? I don’t even want to be fake shit.
.
I’m sure in addition to wrecking pussies Rick also beats children, sexually abuses the mentally handicapped, fakes his timecard at the laundramat, takes more than one ketchup packet from Popeyes, and doesn’t return his library books on time.
.
I am definitely not going to Vegas with guys like him roaming the streets at night.

7:23 pm September, 24 Stephanie said...

Did this old guy just buy the do it yourself punk kit for Halloween?

1:13 am September, 25 Douchetopia said...

Hahaha! Another scummy drug addicted/alcoholic promoter-bag I see around Las Vegas all the time. He hangs out with “T”, the 30 year old assclown who started the swingers movement in Vegas back in the late 50’s. I can never bring myself to talk to this guy whenever I see him, because if I did, I would laugh in his fugly face! Ugggggghhhhh! PLEASE MOVE AWAY FROM VEGAS! YOU ARE A FUCKING TOOL!!!

1:36 am September, 25 Douchetopia said...

Hey Vegas Ass Kicker,

Shut up.

You are lying when you say you don’t play around.
That’s all you do.
Play. And Talk.
You are nothing but play and talk.

Blah Blah Blah.

This is Las Vegas.
I live here and work here.
Hell, I probably know who you are since I know who Rick is, and he is an insecure loser, and so are all of his friends.
Y’all are a bunch of sniveling egotistical shitheads who proclaim that “I AM LAS VEGAS BITCH!!!” because you can get all kinds of skank-ass one night stand pussy.

Along with a side of genital warts.

You guys kiss people’s asses like mine all year to get into our nightclubs and do your hustle. And we let you.

So go ahead.

Enjoy it. Enjoy your fake status. Enjoy your open bar. Enjoy your free bottle service. Enjoy the stinky bachelorette party-girl pussy you get all the time. Enjoy your Gen W’s.

And shut up while you’re at it, or I won’t let you in with those shoes next time.

3:42 pm October, 5 danny said...

I seen this guy in August @ Rehab. horrible hair, but was with a hot chic

Leave a Reply

What is 5 + 11 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)