Monday, September 27, 2010

Pete Tentatively Attempts the “Rocker Horns”

Pete’s a bit unsure how much he has to douche it up now that he’s scoring way out of his league with the delicious Desiree.

So we’ll call Pete a stage-1 douche. Dipping his toes in scrotal waters, but not too far gone yet.

Certainly not as far gone as Brazilian Emo Hulk (warning: not for the faint of soul).

Yeah, you only wish Brazilian Emo Hulk is a photoshop fake. That thing is all too real.

# posted by douchebag1
3:32 pm September, 27 M said...

Fuck me, that’s like a Bizarro-world Gollum. I’m going to have nightmares just knowing that thing is out there.

Though I’d sure be a lot more enthusiastic about things if Angel Dark was pressing her tits against my scrawny wireframe ribcage, and by enthusiastic I mean premature ejaculation.

3:32 pm September, 27 massengill said...

First, I’d like to say he is not overly douchey.
Next I’d like to say she is not overly hot, and I only say that because she is wearing too much makeup.
Nottadouche.

3:34 pm September, 27 CBS said...

angel dark…one of the primo asses in the biz

3:35 pm September, 27 douche bagel said...

he was cold so she let him borrow her shirt

3:49 pm September, 27 ruckus said...

Gaybag.

3:52 pm September, 27 Charles Ulysses Farley said...

Dear God, what is that thing? I can’t even comment on the fem bag with his orange Juliette Lewis semi-hott. How the fuck does one get their head and body grow in such disproportionate ways? That’s gotta be the result of some secret Brazillian Dr. Mengele made growth hormones.

3:53 pm September, 27 Crucial Head said...

Brazillian Emo Hulk has effectively ended my valiant twelve hour relationship with sobriety.
.
Cheers!

4:02 pm September, 27 08ArmyDoc said...

Brazilian Emo Hulk is the only thing that’s made me speechless in days. Wow. Just….. Wow. Maybe not quite speechless, but. Wow. Just. Wow

Moobs
GSR
Taller than your house.
Uglier than sin – looks like a trannybag looking like a man looking like a woman

Does anyone remember ooooold Bill Cosby, “The Chickenheart that ate New York City”?
Yup, that’s the Chickenheart

And I call Notta on Petey

4:04 pm September, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Brazillian Emo Hulk is one of the panelists on”The View”

4:15 pm September, 27 system of douche said...

So now we know two things that Brazil is good for: trannies and Emo inflatable dolls.

4:17 pm September, 27 anonymouse said...

DB1 you owe us some serious pear and boob after that… that… thing. I may never fully recover, but some mental eye wash would help.

4:21 pm September, 27 massengill said...

The Brazillian dude was on reddit a while back and it was agreed that he is using some sort of stuff that is not steroids (possibly in addition to steroids) that makes muscles look bigger. I don’t remember what it was called though.

4:22 pm September, 27 massengill said...

So is this really a porn star named Angel Dark. My research is inconclusive.

4:23 pm September, 27 massengill said...

question mark

4:27 pm September, 27 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Give Pete some credit for NOT wearing eyeliner.
Not yet, that is.

4:30 pm September, 27 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Emo Hulk would scare an alien visitor to this planet.

4:36 pm September, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Brazillian Emo Hulk introduced exposed ceilings to Aborigini tribes

4:37 pm September, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Brazillian Emo Hulk invented turkey baster steroid induction, through the ass

4:42 pm September, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Brazillian Emo Hulk is one of the “Housewives of New Jersey”

4:44 pm September, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Brazillian Emo Hulk is “Patient Zero” in the current bed bug infestation crisis

4:45 pm September, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Brazillian Emo Hulk can spell “ImagensIdiotas.com”

4:52 pm September, 27 Deltus said...

BEH is what happens when you inject your muscles with that same oil shit to make them overbulge, like that dancing idiot with the Michelin Man bulging of the pecs and shoulders.

5:08 pm September, 27 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

Brazilian Emo Hulk can tongue punch a thousand fart boxes without dropping his sunglasses.

5:10 pm September, 27 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

BEH once successfully ravaged an emu’s urethra using only a rubber band, a paperclip, two pennies, and a gumball.

5:11 pm September, 27 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

BEH once shot a stream of dung from his chin anus continuously for three hours after eating at Taco Casa. That place will clean you out let me tell you.

5:12 pm September, 27 Wedgie said...

I don’t thing Vin cares for Brazilian Emo Hulk. Just a feeling I’m getting; really nothing to base that on.

5:15 pm September, 27 Wedgie said...

@Massengill:
What exactly do you mean by research?
PS: She was recently Aqua Pear also, and yes, she is pornstar Angel Dark. And I bet that’s her real name, too.

5:17 pm September, 27 DayGloGuido said...

Why the fuck did I choose to look at that thing just before I was about to turn the light off?
Dear sweet jehova why??
I felt a part of my soul wither just by looking at that thing and the expression in it’s skewered crustacean-like eyeballs.
jeeeeuggugghh…

5:21 pm September, 27 DayGloGuido said...

That truly is something straight from the recesses of Jaime Gumb’s sewing room…

5:30 pm September, 27 DayGloGuido said...

“Brazillian Emo Hulk introduced exposed ceilings to Aborigini tribes”

Epic summation Douchal.
…I found my gaze drawn desperately towards those open suspended beams, anything to draw my pupils away from the silhouette of that vacant, charcoaled uruk that has now blighted my psyche for the next 24 hours.

5:40 pm September, 27 Troy Tempest said...

HULK SMASH!!!!

5:56 pm September, 27 Medusa Oblongata said...

DayGloGuido 5:21
Marry me. That wasn’t a question, that was an order.
.
What’s even creepier is that Emo Hulk has his right arm tatted like he’s Spider Man. Worlds collide, Jerry….As for our poor hydrocephalic friend in the photo, I give him a notta. And I give that girl an order to notta ever wear that dress again.

5:57 pm September, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Brazilian Emo Hulk has made me reconsider my decision to have my cable reconnected after hours as this is the first thing I tested the repair with.

5:59 pm September, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Brazilian Emo Hulk has me considering if I should cut my cable line for the second time today. Fuccen rental trenchers.

6:01 pm September, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Brazilian Emo Hulk is Pumpito after a shaman put a zombie spell on him and shrunk his head. Holy sweet baby Jebus I need another drink.

6:26 pm September, 27 Douches Wild said...

Emo: “awwwwwww, Emo STRAIGHT….” as for Pete, I’d like to use his scrotum as a speedbag.

6:31 pm September, 27 Charles said...

Brazilian Emo Hunk has pec implants, bicep implants, and I’m pretty sure he also has butt implants. South Americans’ love for plastic surgery puts Heidi Montag’s to shame.

7:19 pm September, 27 Troy Tempest said...

The girl in this photo is going to have skin like an old handbag by the time she’s 30. TOO much sun / tanning booth for her. CREEPY.

7:20 pm September, 27 DarkSock said...

Brazilian Emo Hulk once rode a unicycle into a whale’s urethra while playing Van Halen’s “Eruption” on bagpipes, while smoking a Marlboro Red from his asshole and fighting off a starving bear from eating the meat loaf tied to his cockk with a Kosher Arab strap.

7:25 pm September, 27 Steve said...

Emo- Hulk is using Synthol. It inflates the muscle like a balloon, depending on where it’s shot in.

7:42 pm September, 27 Vinny Scumbaglia said...

Pete’s being coaxed out of his choadalis like a newly metamorphosed monarch butterfly.

Meanwhile, Brazilian Emo Hunk scares even Cthulu.

–VS

8:17 pm September, 27 Seven Wonders of the Douchebag World said...

Brazilian Emo Hunk is the depressive Poo version of the Hulk…. don’t make him sad he might turn a darker shade of poo.

8:17 pm September, 27 all bagged out said...

@ Crucial Head 3:53

LMAO!!

Cheers.

8:47 pm September, 27 Steve L. said...

Anton Chigurh called. he wants to unceremoniously murder Brazilian Emo Hulk.

9:04 pm September, 27 DarkSock said...

Brazilian Emo Hulk butt-raped a newborn porpoise; it morphed into a scaled bear that lurched upon land and became the defeated challenger to the incumbent VP for the Minnesota NRA chapter. Accepting defeat, the beast then violated the New Hampshire Mrs. Paul’s Fishsticks factory, raising the undead enraged ghost of Ed Piszek, father of the modern frozen fish stick when, as a bar owner, he realized the advantage of compressing and freezing minced fish and crab meat treats, and then via DYI marketing, created the Mrs. Paul’s Frozen Fish Stick, which was at the time (early 50’s) a godsend to Catholics restricted to fish diets on Friday’s. The 14.5 meter tall Fish Stick Golem of Ed Piszek, who was a major Polish philanthropist who helped eradicate the scourge of smallpox in his native Poland in the 60’s, and also fought against abusive Pollack jokes in the 80’s, ingested a dump truck filled with salvaged GM transmissions and belched a tranny-flechette rain o’ death uponst the scowling visage of…
.
.
I can’t remember what I was typing about.
.
.
.
DAMN YOU AMBIENNNNN!!!!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
If you go back and actually listen to Styx’s “Mr. Roboto”, it was astoundingly GAY.

9:05 pm September, 27 Utterly Fuccen Off-Topic Guy said...

^ I approve of the above message.

9:19 pm September, 27 Fatness said...

I want to die in one of Darksock’s buildings…

9:22 pm September, 27 Crucial Head said...

@Fatness,
.
If you live in a shanty in Tijuana, your wish may soon be granted… heh heh…

9:58 pm September, 27 mr.reeve said...

I am curled up in a ball in the corner of a Del Taco women’s restroom after viewing BEH on my Blackberry.
But then I view Desiree and Luke Waltonpud and I sort of feel better.

10:06 pm September, 27 mr.reeve said...

Correction, the chili fries gave me diarrhea and I am curled up in a ball again. And I think I shit my pants. God damn Del Taco.

10:51 pm September, 27 Chixdiggit said...

I’m a grown man.
I haven’t had the heebee jeebees in decades.
I laugh at the most disturbing of horror movies.
I just saw the Emo Hulk.
I’m alone in my dark basement.
Momentarily, I will be sprinting up my stairs with a pen shank to protect me.
I will fall asleep shivering in the fetal position with one eye open.
God help us all.

10:56 pm September, 27 Stephanie said...

The last time I saw a head like Brazilian Emo Hunk was on a totem pole.
OMG that’s downright scary.
You could have saved that for Halloween,you know.

11:43 pm September, 27 boatbutter said...

AHHH!

11:47 pm September, 27 boatbutter said...

So that’s what happens when you add water.

12:19 am September, 28 Baleen said...

TO THE CHOPPA, NOW!!!!

12:29 am September, 28 Baleen said...

Hey Sock, sometimes I take two Ambiens and watch Mexican bullriding bloopers in Hi-Def. That or stumble around in the garage looking for a broken toaster oven that I got as a wedding gift thirteen years ago.

12:44 am September, 28 DoucheBigue said...

Brazilian Emo Hulk… I’m speechless – is .. it(?) trying to smile?
BEH has so many implants – even calf implants in forearms… – don’t they have regular size head implants?

2:56 am September, 28 Baron Von Goolo said...

It’s…it’s as if someone were trying to make a dime-store Indian out of truck tires and hams.
.
…(sniff)…it’s just so beautiful.

3:10 am September, 28 dressers chests said...

Emo Hunk Brazil CEP has implants, implants bicep and I am pretty sure he also has ass implants. South Americans love of plastic surgery is Heidi Montag have put to shame.

5:02 am September, 28 smackdouche said...

Emo Hulk is both the greatest and most horrible thing that I will see all week.

PUNY HUMANS!!!

5:09 am September, 28 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Any guy wearing a too short shirt that shows his belly while making the rocker horns gesture is more than a stage 1.
Also, the brazilian looks like a combo of el chupacadra and that other guy who had the breast implants who did the bad techno dance, his name escapes me at the moment. Unfortunately, his image is still in my mind.

5:21 am September, 28 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

I can only assume the following:
.
She loves coke and he’s Pablo Escobar’s nephew.
.
She love’s huge cock and he’s Jonah Falcon.
.
OR…
.
She’s retarded.

5:27 am September, 28 soy bomb said...

I dunno…Brazilian Emo Hulk seems like a friendly, down-to-earth kinda guy.

6:04 am September, 28 Deltus said...

@soy bomb: if, by that, you mean a homunculus made out of dirt and toxic waste and then animated using the darkest magic possible, then that is the working theory, yes.

6:27 am September, 28 Dex said...

Desiree looks like she smells like an ashtray, but it’s the best Pete can do with a degree in sociology and a small penis.

6:47 am September, 28 T.J. Douchemandzadeh said...

Chick is Angel Dark. Not a flattering photo here, but a super hot piece of ass.
Ironic that Emo Hulk has Spider Man’s costume tattooed on his arm no?

7:20 am September, 28 DarkSock said...

Still scared of Emo Hulk. Why would anyone splice the genes of Lou Ferrigno and Angelica Houston together like that?

10:04 am September, 28 Chixdiggit said...

Emo Hulk needs his own category in the Hall of Fame.
I continue to be fascinated and sincerely terrified.

7:14 pm September, 28 wolfram74 said...

Know her face , she does porn

1:44 am September, 29 Cheesesock said...

Holy. Fuckin. Shit.

1:45 am September, 29 Cheesesock said...

Sorry for the additional post, but I nominate this pre-op transvestite for the Hall of Poo.

1:39 pm October, 5 Douche de Leche said...

T.J. Douchemandzadeh you beat me to it. This is indeed pornstar Angel Dark (possibly top 10 hottest out there).

Very nice ass and boobs that are unfortunately quite hidden here.

9:18 pm October, 7 therealist said...

i would comment on the hott but i just poked my eyes out with my pen…

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