Thursday, September 16, 2010

Reader Mail: Beer is Beer Drink it Down N Shut Up

libatious_dude responds in yesterday’s Bud Light Lime thread:

——
my god u know your a bunch of losers right? this site alone is sad enough but now you losertards r sittin round talkin bout how beer is “douchey” wtf c’mon thts jus pathetic beer is beer drink it down n shut up unless u aint man enough to commit to the fact ur so insecure u dont think youd hav the confidence to order a beer with lime in at a bar hah i believe that!
—–

The real question is if we man enough to add punctuation and capital letters. For that would make us the proverbial shizz.

# posted by douchebag1
7:13 am September, 16 Ol' Dirty Douchebag said...

I’d like to punch Mitch Steinberg from Great Neck out from underneath that ball cap. He’s smearing my alma mater and embarrassing his grandma Sylvie.

7:13 am September, 16 CHARLTONHESTON said...

This site is called Hot chicks with douchebags. Where’s the hot chick in this picture?

7:25 am September, 16 DarkSock said...

Someone in this picture’s about to get mauled by a Cougar. And by “mauled” I mean “balled”. If you look closely at the left side of his trunks you’ll see an image of her vagina; classy.
.
Minus 10 points for “libatious_dude” for the thumb text grammer.
.
Plus 3 points for “losertards”. I’m rather fond of that little nugget.

7:28 am September, 16 Eliza Douchecoo said...

I’m rather fond of her boobies, but other than that, you can throw her back into the ocean.
As for libatious, I’m kind of with you on the drinking part but you lost me on the grammar part.

7:30 am September, 16 Wedgie said...

My confidence in the future leadership of our great nation is restored. Thank you, Mr. Libatious Dude. With folks like you leading us, we have nothing to fear. Your well thought out, eloquent prose is nothing short of sheer genius. I lift my Bud Lime in a toast to your brilliance.

7:31 am September, 16 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Not too long after this picture was taken this chick as well as the dude behind her passed out from lack of oxygen…just breathe losertards…that does sound good.

7:35 am September, 16 Mr. White said...

It’s good to know that Benny from The Sound of the Fury is still out there, and he has access to the internet. But libatious_dude, do tell us: Did Caddy go away?
.
I don’t know why the chick in this picture labeled her boobs as “Boxy.” They look like the normal shape to me.

7:37 am September, 16 UFO Destroyers said...

Not a soul at this gathering over 5’7″.
.
And what the hell does his tat say. Fatty Fluffer? At least it’s original.

7:37 am September, 16 Justin said...

Is that a Slurpee?!

7:39 am September, 16 Mr. White said...

@UFO Destroyers
.
I think it says “Fahrvergnügen.” Perhaps this is a young, pre-bald pfah?

7:40 am September, 16 Amerigo Vesoduchey said...

Hers is a face for radio. Or infrared imaging. Nice mams though.

7:48 am September, 16 Wedgie said...

^Must be another tranny. Named Libatious. Or maybe Labiatious.

7:51 am September, 16 retard said...

Maybe when libatious_dude is done doing keg stands with his frat bros, he’ll come to the understanding that Quality > Quantity. This is true of most things in life except boobies. I like me a lot of boobies.

7:58 am September, 16 Et Tu Douche? said...

@ DarkSock
“Minus 10 points for “libatious_dude” for the thumb text grammer.”
.
That was my first response when reading his post. These kids today can’t even spell correctly tis a damn shame. I weep for our future.
.

8:07 am September, 16 mr.reeve said...

Wearing white sunglasses is autodouche. Trying to hook up with an older woman is not. It’s a “learning experience” every young man needs. Even if he is a white sunglass wearing nimrod.
Looks like libatious_dude text messaged his comment. Nice job you BLL drinking butt pirate.

8:25 am September, 16 DarkSock said...

She DOES look like fun…

8:27 am September, 16 mr.reeve said...

This gal from Saturday should be getting a HoH nomination. Saturday hottie.

8:28 am September, 16 mr.reeve said...

And Rogue beers are fantastic Sock. Hey, what just happen?

8:32 am September, 16 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Generic Beer presents “Real Men of Vaginus”
Today we salute you, Mr. “Strunk and White can Sck mi dik” Guy.
Putting your 2nd-grade equivalent grammar and spelling skills to good use,
u let teh h8terz no they cn suk ur balz geta lif lol
Punctuation? You don’t need no stinking punctuation.
Or capital letters. Or syntax. Or proper spelling. Or a meaningful message.
So crack open another generic beer and maybe consider buying a pocket dictionary oh Einstein of the iPhone,
Because it really doesn’t matter if you mean “Lots of Luck” or “Laughing out Loud” when you thumb grunt your third “lol” in a 75 word run on sentence,
We’ll still have no fucking idea what the fuck you’re talking about.

8:34 am September, 16 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

He’s so tiny his tattoo is 8-point font.

8:43 am September, 16 DarkSock said...

He’s so tiny his toilet is a coffee mug

8:44 am September, 16 Ohio FJ said...

What a fucktard – he not only needs to add punctuation and capital letters but also learn to spell and understand word usage – such as “your” vs “you’re”

8:45 am September, 16 Et Tu Douche? said...

@UFO Destroyers
.

I think it says “FattyFitness”

8:48 am September, 16 DarkSock said...

grammar is for dude fags

8:48 am September, 16 Baleen said...

Blue hat is sucking in his gut so far that mom’s breakfast might make an encore. Looks like they’re hangin out on some random suburban driveway. Fuccen classy.

8:48 am September, 16 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Mr. Scrotato Head,
Re; “Real Men of Vaginus”,
.
Brilliant!!!!, keep them coming.

8:49 am September, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I didn’t think James Taylor and Carole King had kids together. I’m glad we’re still talking about booze since it is my mother language. And by mother language I mean I’d hit everyone in the picture, with my foot. The girl with the can of worms face could be given titty fucking rights to my big worm if I remain toasted and she took kindly to my double bagging.

8:50 am September, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And tea bagging.

8:50 am September, 16 Et Tu Douche? said...

I like the bruises on Boxy, me thinks she likes the rough stuff

8:51 am September, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He is so tiny he has keggers with his slurpy.

8:53 am September, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Blue hat is so gay he thinks Justin Bieber is butch.

8:55 am September, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Boxy gets a new chin every 100 coccks. Frequent flyer flaps.

9:06 am September, 16 Wheezer said...

If you guys wanna talk about boobies (when don’t you?), here’s an article on Christina Hendricks. I can’t remember if it’s already been posted here (probably), but any potential rerun of her and her boobies is surely welcome.

9:07 am September, 16 scrotum pole said...

The dude in the photo knows how to party. Those Dairy Queen Blizzards are the bomb, but the resulting acne is a bit embarrassing.

9:16 am September, 16 Ginger Phobic said...

That Hendricks does nothing for me. She might as well be a BLL. If she paid me I’d let het suck my Slim Jim.

9:17 am September, 16 Ginger Phobic said...

^her. And on second thought, too fat and old.

9:24 am September, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Ah, to be young and stupid again. Waitaminute. I never thought mass marketed beers were any good. Even when I was a poor, dipshit college student I never drank any swill that was offered to me (maybe that explains why I didn’t go to a lot of parties. What a shocker.) even if it was attached to the hand of some hott. I remember my first (and coincidentally last) sip of Heineken. I thought that shit was rank and still do. If I’m not spending at least $15 for 4 beers, then something is wrong. So ibatious_dude instead of calling us losertards and such why not do some research. Take your pea-sized brain, walk into a real bar, and order something from, hell, let’s start with Canada or a US micorbrew. See what actual beer CAN taste like and then come back here for more put downs from the ingenious posters here. Until then, STFU dood.

9:33 am September, 16 anon said...

I don’t see what’s so difficult to understand about the whole fruit beer thing…

The only thing queerer than a man with a piece of fruit floating in his shitty beer, is a man having a shitty beer with fruit flavor added because he likes the taste.

People who like the taste of fruit in their beer tend to like the taste of cock in their mouth.

It doesn’t take confidence to order a beer at the bar with a piece of fruit in it: the only requirement is having a vagina in your pants.

9:36 am September, 16 Medusa Oblongata said...

At one time I’d have agreed with libatious_dude. But I was also a 22-year old raging alcoholic. It was a question of cost effectiveness. If aerosol hairspray was a bit more palatable, I surely would have drank that, too.
.
“Confidence” to order a beer with a lime? You know what confidence is? Elbowing your way through a crowd of dudes twice your size at the bar on a manic Saturday night to order an ice water. I’ve got some big brass balls, my friend.

9:39 am September, 16 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Scrotato–YOU, sir, are a real man of genius.

9:39 am September, 16 Medusa Oblongata said...

“Faith Fapness?”

9:40 am September, 16 Medusa Oblongata said...

“Faith Pfahless?”

9:42 am September, 16 douche bagel said...

the spillover from club rehab is actually a funnel that delivers puds straight to the nearest house in riverside with parents out of town

9:45 am September, 16 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Medusa^
.
You can put your brass balls in my mouth any time.
.
And by brass balls I mean your vagina.

9:59 am September, 16 CBS said...

light beers make me think i am drinking carbonated urine. that is the truth…i dont understand this douchebag loser criticizing.

i drink stouts or a “heavy” beer if i can because it tastes better to me…not because i think about what people on this site think of me.

girls tend to choose light beers…like corona or bud light lime. i dont know many girls that order a guinness with me.

we will probably find it funny when a group of males that seem like the biggest pussies on the planet regardless of living in the gym are drinking a beer that most girls choose from the list. why biggest pussies? bc your values are feminine…it is similar to being a homo. you care a lot about whether you have the right shoes on, shirt, what way your collar should be, what way your hat should be tilted, what car you should lie about driving, that you have to watch certain tv shows so that you can share something with the shallow women you are around at the clubs. women need that kind of shelter and preoccupation with things that have no inherent value bc those are the terms by which they socialize typically bc they can be very vicious to each other (jealousy, competition, menstruation and men’s values on their appearance). in fact it is mainly gay men among men that genuinely love dancing…girls love dancing! they love dancing…they go clubbing to dance. douchebags show up and try so hard to coordinate with women in their arena. it is pathetic. i will go to a club as well…but if i get my shoes or hat or shirt wrong…i dont give a fuck…i pick up a better girl off the street or at the park when i am walking my dog. i am not working for a woman…but i suspect the definition of a douchebag is a man who is.

we mock douchebags for working soooooo hard to get girls but selling their soul in the process…they sold it to a gay god apparently because that is how perverted the values are for the douchebag compared to your average man. they are feminine values. and if you think it is about you guys looking good and real men not…you’re wrong. you guys look ridiculous, the fashion is quite homosexual as it is a fashion evaluated and determined by girls and homos. with the way you faggots dress at the clubs…really you are only turning on the homos in the crowd. the girls dont even notice most of the time.

i digress. also at the “hot spots” you usually dont get a single good tasting beer to choose from…douchebags are not real men…they go to events where they dont care that time after time they are drinking feminine beers.

i’m afraid that the male club whores are losers…and one way you can tell is that they find it acceptable to be pounding back soda pop beer.

like you fag…you showed up here to defend your kind and failed epically. let me tell you how i would defend.

“you guys are pretty serious losers for spending your day talking about what beers you dont like. who cares!!! if you dont like whats on the list order a jack and coke for christ sakes..geeezzzzz. loooooserssss.”

i believe that this site is mainly about three things…making jokes, admiring the female form and sharing interests.

maybe douchebags should have a site like that…but lets face it, they are a bunch of very low self-esteemed and insecure guys. there isn’t the creativity nor the intellect to put something interesting together. douchebags dont even comment the thousands of pics that they post of themselves in clubs on facebook bc they are deathly afraid they will say the wrong thing in front of their peers. cmon…who is a loser then? the losers are those that get anything out of life without deserving it. you bend over and the hot girls use that and the homo shows them how…you’re the bitch douchebags and that is what we are making jokes about.

10:11 am September, 16 retard said...

@CBS – Nice manifesto.

10:13 am September, 16 CBS said...

i reiterate the sum of my points.

douchebags…you are a bitch that girls use and that homos show them how to use you. this site is about pointing that out and having a good old laugh about it. why do you think there is a genuine concern and aversion to showing “gaybags”…because it is all too easy to confuse you guys. LMAO

i would guess no one on this forum is angry and angry about douchebags. we are upset. but when you shitstains defend yourselves and show up as if you have the right to participate in the discussion…that gets me angry. you have to earn that right by not being a bitch.

just stop being a bitch. stop making decisions based on whether it will succeed with women that get their answers from homosexuals. you are just a gay rape victim right now. you dont get to fight back in your defense.

10:13 am September, 16 CBS said...

thank you.

10:27 am September, 16 Mr. White said...

@mr scrotato head
“Thumb grunt” is my new favorite thing today.

10:30 am September, 16 Wheezer said...

DB1,
.
Ummmmm, can we get CBS in the Hall of Mock this year? If there was any doubt about that before, this thread should have removed it.
.
CBS: well played, good baghunter!

10:44 am September, 16 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy came to the wrong site if he thought he could out-beer anyone.
.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
– Kaiser Wilhelm

10:46 am September, 16 Deltus said...

@Mr. Scrotato Head: loved that. And “thumb grunt” is my new favorite expression.

10:49 am September, 16 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Beer isn’t douchey, of and by itself. See: Sam Adams, Guiness.

Bud Lite Lime eliminates having to ask for a lime with your beer. I can see douchebags going for that ’cause it’s easier. And you don’t get lime juice on your fingers.

Now pardon me whilst I go back to my Sam Adams Octoberfest.

10:50 am September, 16 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Besides, calling Bud Light “beer” is like calling Kool-aid “juice”, or Grey Goose “vodka”.
.
Or a vagina and “inverse penis”. Maybe you like sticking one in your mouth.

10:51 am September, 16 Jacques Doucheteau said...

*an

11:35 am September, 16 Medusa Oblongata said...

My last bartending gig was in a german-style beer hall where we had the most amazing collection on tap. Since we all drank for free, and copiously, on the clock, I developed a major taste for Hannen Alt. it’s far lighter and more drinkable than a stout, but has that really full, round, malty flavor that makes it more of a snack than a beer. I got fat as fuck working in that place drinking that stuff, but my word, it was incredible. If you can find it, drink it.

1:14 pm September, 16 SonnyChibaChoad said...

@medusa — I’m with you re balls to order club soda while all around get blinded…same club as you…

2:37 pm September, 16 massengill said...

This “libatious_dude” is probably a schill for Anheuser-Busch. I typically drink Budweiser when I am out at bars. I like good beer, but I when I am out I am a typically binge-drinking and Bud is cost-effective.
.
But, no, fuck no, would I ever drink a Bud Light Lime. Not because I lack the necessary confidence, but for much the same reason I wouldn’t lick a housecat’s asshole.

2:39 pm September, 16 massengill said...

Cause it would taste like shit.
.
I’ve been into Well’s Bombardier lately. Room temperature, it’s delicious!

7:44 pm September, 16 Vinny Scumbaglia said...

Very intricate leg tatts on “Mitch Steinberg”, like little flames… oh, wait a second…

Yeh, +points for “losertards”– the #1 choice of the plus-size ballerina.

BWAHHAH the Reverend Chad “free chin every 100”.

For some ladies, you have to consider the whole package, and for some of those, they have to bare as much of that package as possible to recoup the deficit inflicted by the mug.

–VS

8:07 pm September, 16 Steve L. said...

punctuations and capital letters make you the “proverbial shizz”? LIES. ALL LIES. it just makes you literate.
… well, i guess literacy is worth celebrating when you’ve witnessed the likes of libatious_dude.

8:22 pm September, 16 Steve L. said...

@ Medusa 11:35 AM,
yay another fan of malty flavors!

8:48 pm September, 16 Stephanie said...

those are kids (yes they are all 5′ 5″ tall-high junior high-I’ll bet) at someone’s parents house…wow,you think YOU’RE so important having photos at a party of a house you don’t even own,and then brabble on about beer? You oughta man up soon,right? Have you grown any pubes yet fatty fitness?
I’d rather make fun of that unreadable tattoo.

12:11 am September, 17 Mr. Biggs said...

Reminds me of that time in college my friend got chewed out by some chick for not being able to handle a wine cooler. Do people even drink those anymore?

5:54 am September, 17 Leander said...

Laughing at the Beer/Lime comment. He doesn’t get the point of the sit does he. I’ll try to explain. What’s sad about the DOUCHER’s is this. Somo of you look loke you want to be prettier than the women in the pictures with you. You look like you take more time in the bathroom than your woman. You purse your lips to pose for a picture. That shit looks gay as hell. It’s not manly. You’re obsessed with yourself and you need to be slapped. If a girl says “Awe that’s cute” doesn’t mean that you should wear ir, do it or say it. Grow some balls and look like a man.

6:33 am September, 17 Claude Douchenburg said...

“Beer is Beer” what a moron.

4:19 pm September, 17 italian douche said...

@libatious whatever the fuck
.
it’s not pathetic, you stupid FUCK. It’s that you don’t get it. Why much self esteem? Why? What is so good in you, phisically or intellectually?
.
Stop esteeming yourself. Be humble. Because you aren’t a capable or sexy individual.
.
Stop having esteem of yourself. Now.

8:53 pm September, 22 Lil' Fartknocker said...

While her boobage is kinda good…her face looks like actor J.K. Simmons.

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