Saturday, September 18, 2010

Reader Mail: Vegas Douche Virus Takes Over Italy

The Italodouche reports in from Italy, where the Grieco Virus is returning.

———-
DB1,

The Vegas Herpester pool party concept has now spread to the shores of the Mediterranean, now infecting the once glorious civilization known as Italy.

Naples is one of the oldest cities in the world, and it held an important role in Magna Graecia. Much blood has been shed here throughout history(unifcation wars, WWII, mafia crimes,etc.)

If Garibaldi were alive today, he would have to re-assemble the Expedition to defeat the new enemy.

– the Italodouche

———

The land of Michaelangelo, Dante and Monica Bellucci has fallen on hard times indeed. Sad news, Italodouche. But, like Australia, nations can fight back. Have faith. The culture wars continue.

# posted by douchebag1
12:33 pm September, 18 G said...

I am trying to figure out what the watermelons in the poster are going to be used for…inserting into ‘bags in preparation for homosexual activity later at night??

12:49 pm September, 18 Mr. White said...

Francesca, the victim of a freak accident involving a miter saw and her nipples, was rushed to the local hospital. Sadly, the only materials available for transplant were two pink seashells. Her ability to soldier on and still celebrate life, in spite of her infirmity, should be an inspiration to us all.

12:51 pm September, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

You can’t spell poolbagery with out POO.
I noticed the address on the poster is Arenile Di Bagnoli, is Bagnoli Italian for BAG? if not should be
Urban Decay?

1:02 pm September, 18 Wedgie said...

Il Duce was really Il lDouche, misspelled. Hey, did I just misspell “misspelled”?
But I digress. Why should the glorious civilizations be spared? Italy is no different than the rest of the world. And need I remind you all of which country spawned the forefathers of the Jersey Shore cast?

1:04 pm September, 18 MILLS said...

Not suprising. You can probably find douches in most countries now as long as they are
a) not communist
b.) economically developed (to some extent)
c) have some form of youth culture/ social scene

1:04 pm September, 18 Wedgie said...

BTW, I would like to order the juice of her melons as an aperitivo.
That is all.

1:08 pm September, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I would piscine in three of these piscenas. I think we have all pissed in a piscina once. The purple die always got me caught. But I didn’t give a fucc. One of these piscenas is a modelbag and these reason why Skynet Europe will win over the Eurobag resistance.

Are you Sarah Conna?

1:12 pm September, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Kyle Reese peed in Sarah Connor once.

^this is

1:12 pm September, 18 credability said...

@ MILLS although i agree somewhat, there is more than three albeit valid points
@ wedgie
actually not all of the jersey shore cast have 100% italian heritage “snooki” is of part chilean descent hence why she looks like a latina porn dwarf and im sure the 19th century forefathers of “the situation” didnt lift up their waistcoats to reveal a greasy six pack, the youth culture of italian-americans is to blame for their lifestyle which is one that can be found in many countries covering many demographics as we well know now.

1:14 pm September, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tel Aviv is the next target of the douchebags. I have seen it and the future is bleak. Greece has been lost fo centuries.

1:16 pm September, 18 MILLS said...

Yeh although if it is the douches will be blown out of their ed hardy apparal by hamas

1:29 pm September, 18 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Those are the biggest, pinkest, boobiest aereolii that I’ve ever seen.

.

I don’t know if I should be horny or concerned.

.

Wait. What am I saying? I don’t give two shits about that bimbo’s health. Let’s just strike “concerned” from the record and replace it with aroused.

1:36 pm September, 18 mr.reeve said...

Nice cans on the Italian woman.
Not surprised about Italy. I thought it was already pretty douchey there.

1:47 pm September, 18 Medusa Oblongata said...

NUUUUUUUU che orribile!!!! E’d ecco perche dobbiamo cacciare i Douchebags!!! Quest’e una piaga! Non dormo finio l’Italia è pulita del virus di Griecooooo!!!! W HCwDB!

3:20 pm September, 18 Steve L. said...

that pic of Monica Bellucci is very necessary for this thread.

4:09 pm September, 18 Wedgie said...

Gotta love that redhead from Chicago. Lei e’ molto elegante.

6:28 pm September, 18 Vinny Scumbaglia said...

fwiw, one should consider a re-assessment of one’s aesthetics at the point that one’s body above one’s waist starts to resemble a thorax rather than an actual human body part.

Just saying.

–VS

7:15 pm September, 18 Troy Tempest said...

Eurospace douche to fuck with your head:

7:18 pm September, 18 Wheezer said...

I think I’ve seen that mermaid before…..

7:25 pm September, 18 DarkSock said...

Medusa, thank you for cleansing at least one lucky Italian of the virus and returning him to the homeland to evangelize. But he’s going to be like an ant farting against a hurricane from the looks.
.
If some guy shows up at your door drunk in a rented Mario Bros Luigi outfit asking to be ‘cleansed’ be advised it’s Scrotato Head. Toss him in the playpen and leave him to White.

7:48 pm September, 18 DarkSock said...

Pssst….he’s hung like a Tic Tac; pass it on…

8:07 pm September, 18 Flyteeth said...

AN ENTIERE FUCCEN COUTNRY CAN LOSE ITS TARMAL! B EWARE AND MEDIDIATE ON THISA!

8:17 pm September, 18 Guid is Good said...

Party in Piscina – pretty much what happens any time people don’t have to get out of the pool to take a leak.

Don’t know what ingresso gratuito means but I would like to ingresso the hott in the red bikini. Gratuito preferably.

8:44 pm September, 18 Anonymous said...

Uh, “Flyteeth” can you speak English so we can tell what the hell you are saying? You type like a douche. Faggot.

9:28 pm September, 18 Fatness said...

^ someone has lost their FUCCEN TARMAL

9:43 pm September, 18 Rhino said...

Guid is Good…Ingresso gratuito is akin to ” No Cover” but can also be literally translated / interpreted as “Free Entry” which would probably further your cause

9:50 pm September, 18 Anonymous said...

Ummm okay “Fatness”. Did you mean Fusion Tarmac??? This is an English speaking site right? I get that some chick was tring to speak Italian up further in this thread, but are you trying some Klingon Language or just gay faggot douche talk?

10:49 pm September, 18 Fatness said...

Gay faggot douche talk? You understood it, so that makes you a gay faggot douche.

10:56 pm September, 18 Anonymous said...

Really?
For not understanding “AN ENTIERE FUCCEN COUTNRY CAN LOSE ITS TARMAL! B EWARE AND MEDIDIATE ON THISA!” I am a gay faggot douche. Is this not what we are fighting against? You illiterate fool!

11:26 pm September, 18 Anonymous Lurker said...

^ This is the tragedy of losing the archive comments.

Anon, Flyteeth is ONE OF US. You know not with what you are messing. That literate enough for you?

(I gotta get a profile and start participating so I can say “one of us” without y’all going, “who the fuck are you, asshole?” I’ve only been lurking for 3 years)

11:33 pm September, 18 Anonymous said...

Okayso this is all in inside joke, or are you just making excuses for a douche talking like a douche? When I read: “AN ENTIERE FUCCEN COUTNRY CAN LOSE ITS TARMAL! B EWARE AND MEDIDIATE ON THISA!” Jesus christ i thought baghunting would be easy. You are all making this way to complicated.

1:31 am September, 19 Baleen said...

Fuccen relax Anon^. TARMAL is the laughter of children playing at your local daycare- and it can rip the the very fiber of your being to shreds.

3:41 am September, 19 Scroteophobic said...

Anon 1133
Flyteeth is an inside joke of a kind. A version of him has been around forever, used to run a website filled with some funny musings (in the same form of English as done above). He is an alter ego of another poster at the moment who stepped in to replace the the original Flyteeth when he stopped posting. Flyteeth is not so much a person as a noble tradition.
.
Tarmal is all things good yet remains undefined and ethereal. It is what ‘bags lose, that ‘hunters seek and what Flyteeth guards. It is warm sun, smiling hotts, good whiskey, a great meal, a quiet night in the pub with friends, your team winning, a manic night on the town with strangers, your flag flying. It is all things and nothing. Ommmm.

7:30 am September, 19 DarkSock said...

YEAH, SLAPHOAWRE!

7:32 am September, 19 DarkSock said...

YOU NCANNOTT KLNOW TARMLE IF YOUI DO NNOT HAV E TARMAL

FUCCEN SLAAPHOWAR FAEGHOTTT

8:10 am September, 19 Flyteeth said...

YOU FUCCEN TELLE EM DARKCOCK!

9:07 am September, 19 I douche, therefore I am said...

What can you expect from a country that continues to re-elect a superdouche like Silvio Berlusconi…

9:10 am September, 19 DarkSock said...

THIS FUCVEN WEBSIITE IS A HATER BAR –
.
CHOCK FULL O NUTTS WITH A CHEWIE TARMAL CENTRE

9:20 am September, 19 Steve L. said...

a hater bar? i like that.

11:21 am September, 19 Sir David Douchenborough said...

Italy’s region and people have a history of being transformed due to some overtaking force. Sometimes institutional or cultural. It is cyclical almost.

Sadly, the 21s century there has spawned an Italdouchian Renaissance.

1:15 pm September, 19 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Wedgie 4:09
Grazie mille, caro 😉 Parlo come una zingara la maggior parte di tempo. Ma sto provando, sto provando…
.
@ Darksock 7:25
I try. That was one of the first things I clarified for him on his first visit here. We were in a cafe on the northwest side of Chicago in a rather Italian area, total coincidence. A pack of guidos walked in and took the table next to us. Mr. B. motioned to them and said, “Eh, those are-a da Doosh-baggies, yes?” I wept with joy and there was much fellatio when I got him home later.
.
Anon 8:44 = Troll. But in the spirit of the thread…….NON HAI IL TARMAL, PERDENTE!!!!!

9:30 pm September, 19 Troy Tempest said...

Scrotephobic is correct. Even though the original FLYTEETH has gone missing, someone here has resurrected his style. Although I thought the original was a bit more aggressive and wonderfully psychotic and a bit more haphazard in his typing skills, all in a kind of hallucinatory way, the imitator does a pretty good job.

TARMLA is PRECIOUS like your bodily fluids.

Now, my little anon, learn the way of FLYTEETH, attain some TARMAL and go forth to battle the mindless monster of douchebaggery. Remember – where ever he is, FLYTEETH is your wingman, even if he is hallucinating. Or, especially if he is hallucinating – we’re still not sure if this is actually FLYTEETH’S world, and we just live in it…

10:57 pm September, 19 Charles Ulysses Farley said...

Anonymous trolls need to be stabbed in the heart with a rusty spoon. Try spending some time on the site and grabbing an identity before commenting, junior.

And Italy may be ground zero of the virus. Look back to the seventies and Travolta. They are the true source of the proto-virus that became the Grieco.

9:05 am September, 20 Constantine IX Monodouchos said...

On the lands I did not succeed to hold under my scepter, grow strange things.

9:26 am September, 20 Deltus said...

Axe with garlic. Not a good smell.

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