Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Baglionaire

In global news: One of Australia’s top ten richest people is a huge Russian douche bong.

# posted by douchebag1
11:43 am September, 29 Mr. Biggs said...

Wow. $100 million and the best eye-candy he could come up with was that thing? Seriously guy, check your home country’s mail order bride catalogs. And you’d even get kudos for dating native.

But what do I know. Maybe they’re actually high school sweethearts.

11:50 am September, 29 Jesse Katsopolis said...

God dam I hate him so much. His “eye-candy” looks like she suffers from Down Syndrome. She has a very Down Syndromey face

11:54 am September, 29 The Poo Rag said...

Yup… I hate to say it, but the Russians, having been without material wealth for so long are making up for it in one full Douche cabbage flavored discharge.

12:05 pm September, 29 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Well, you guys beat me to the “You got A HUNDRED FUCKING MILLION AND THAT’S WHAT YOU MARRIED!?” comment. She looks like she was beaten with a bag of hammers while growing up.

12:07 pm September, 29 system of douche said...

I think I’m seeing an Adam’s apple on the “chick”.

12:11 pm September, 29 smackdouche said...

Chernobyl wife is good, no?

12:16 pm September, 29 clam fist said...

I think she is hott.

12:21 pm September, 29 wonderdouche twin said...

Actually she looks more like a douche than he does. He has the shirt and glasses, but she has the look that I would just slap across her face a thousand times for.
.
No I change my mind I would rip the lips off of her face with channel locks, yep that’s it.

12:23 pm September, 29 system of douche said...

@wonderdouche: s/he DOES have a smug countenance that inspires me to take a tow chain to it.

12:26 pm September, 29 Wedgie said...

I miss Leonid Brezhnev. Call me old fashioned.

12:33 pm September, 29 mehoff said...

She probably came with the yacht

12:39 pm September, 29 paperorplastic said...

is that Dung Beetle?

12:40 pm September, 29 Eliza Douchecoo said...

I like how their heads are tilted at precisely the same angle, that must have taken minutes to perfect. FUCCK this picture is all kinds of disgusting.

12:40 pm September, 29 Mr. White said...

Since my first job as an adult was as a copyeditor, I couldn’t help but take a paragraph from the article and add my own parenthetical edits to it. I’m going to submit them to that website so they can fix it:
.
“Known around Perth for a lavish lifestyle befitting his fortune (stunning self-absorption), which includes owning numerous properties (poorly built McMansions), a record label (that caters to tone deaf otters), and some very expensive (overpriced) and very fast cars (substitute penises) among other toys (gold-plated vibrators for his wife), he and his wife have also hosted a collection of extravagantly themed parties (soul-sucking celebrations of his own narcissism), even flying in US rap star Snoop Dogg (proving that everyone can be bought) to perform at his 29th birthday last year. (He and his wife are proud that they give absolutely nothing back to the word from which they’ve taken so very much from, and they look forward to leaving no worthwhile legacy behind when they pass on…at the age of 32 from a poisoned batch of designer drugs.)”

12:45 pm September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Did you kill dat Moose Boris?

Yes Natasha.

You are so bad you’re good my dahling.

It is good to be bad ,yes.

Fucking commies.

12:53 pm September, 29 all bagged out said...

What was so wrong with USSR exactly ?

Nice swimsuit.

So much for Perestroika.

12:54 pm September, 29 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

In Russia – Douche make fun of you.

1:00 pm September, 29 Troy Tempest said...

He has a worm eating away at his guts.

1:01 pm September, 29 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

I made a trip to St. Petersburg ( Leningrad ) back in the day.

My first thought was, “Hey, someone dropped a magazine that had a special on New Jersey fashion in it.”

Everyone was dressed like complete and total douchewads.

So yes, he’s a Douche; but in his defense, they only had the one magazine.

True story;
ASvB

1:03 pm September, 29 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

yum.. sun bleethed taint

1:05 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

In Soviet Perth, dingo babies eat you!

1:07 pm September, 29 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

She looks like she’s letting a silent-ripper slide out just as the photographer said, “Odin, Dva, Tri” ( did that from memory )

ASvB

1:07 pm September, 29 Teddy Tendergass said...

Feeding off Mr. White’s epic:

“Known around gay bars for a lavish lifestyle befitting the truest of Liberace fans, which includes owning numerous butt plugs, a rear insertion Sybian, and some very expensive boys from NAMBLA among other toys, he and his “beard” have also hosted a collection of extravagantly themed orgies, even flying in US porn star Francois Sagat to perform oral on him at his 29th birthday last year.”

1:08 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Hold on. Did my last comment make any sense? 1 pot of hi-test coffee+ no sleep = huh?

1:08 pm September, 29 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

In Soviet Texas, cows rope you.

1:11 pm September, 29 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

In Soviet Onion – onions cut you.

1:11 pm September, 29 Deltus said...

She must be able to suck schlong REAAAALLY well.

1:12 pm September, 29 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

In Soviet Union – whores pay you.

1:14 pm September, 29 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

In Soviet HCwDB – frolicking is punishable by death.

1:14 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

That look on her face says “I love getting anal from moose but I hate cleaning up squirrel bits after.”

1:16 pm September, 29 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

In Soviet HCwDB – Wearing Ed Hardy result in 10 year stay in Gulag.

1:21 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

In Soviet HCwDB, wearing 6lb watch results in borscht enema.

1:24 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Why do I keep expecting him to bust with that annoying “Hot hot hot!” song every time I look at this pic?

1:24 pm September, 29 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

In Soviet HCwDB – Orange skin is removed by rusty, dull scapel.

1:29 pm September, 29 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

In Soviet HCwDB – “Fist Pump” while dancing result in fingers being superglued into permanent fist, and then said fist is thrust up your cabbage patch.

1:30 pm September, 29 mr.reeve said...

Russian Million/billionaires 99% of the time are autodouche.

1:32 pm September, 29 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

In Soviet HCwDB – Blow-Out hairstyle result in head shaved with chainsaw.

1:32 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ myself
.
Jebus ya cocckgobbler, at least put in the Buster Poindexter link next time. Are ya happy? Now the joke is ruined, assbrain.

1:38 pm September, 29 tall guy said...

Yeah, I saw this idiot on the TV news last night. Cringeworthy factor high! The only saving grace is a vast continent separating us. Thank God. And I’ve met similar types to her. Trained in skankery from an early age. This country is going to the dogs.

1:44 pm September, 29 StarSpankledBoner said...

“Wanna beat him with a diseased dead wallaby so Frick’in bad”

1:45 pm September, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Anyone else get pictures from DarkSock on his Australia vacation?
.

2:48 pm September, 29 Nancy Dreuche said...

Is this their Christmas card photo? The matching sweaters must be in the boat cabin. I hope.

3:09 pm September, 29 End the Haberdouchery said...

Is the boat rolling to the left, or do they have scoliosis?

3:15 pm September, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Dr. BHD–No, I follow. And I laughed. Having been a big New York Dolls fan, Buster Poindexter made me weep. I’m always curious as to who gets the jokes and who doesn’t.
.
She’s got angry nightcrawlers for lips. I hope they wed before he had money, otherwise there is no excuse for this. However, I’d like to say that maybe she’s a really funny chick, makes a mean beef stroganoff and sucks cock like semen grants immortality. That being the case, I’ll excuse her looks, but for God’s sake, smile, you miserable sow. Duckface isn’t helping your case one bit.

3:16 pm September, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Mr. White–
When I die and some well-meaning family member submits my eulogy, I personally ask you to step in and edit. I think you might be able to make me sound way more awesome than I actually was.

3:20 pm September, 29 smackdouche said...

We shail into hishtory!

3:36 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Medusa 3:15
.
You can’t put your arms around a memory. Too bad. And BTW, I love that song. R.I.P. Johnny Thunders

3:54 pm September, 29 Steve L. said...

uh oh. Gator has some competition here.
and to be honest i’m not surprised that Gator’s competition comes from Russia.

4:38 pm September, 29 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

She’s in black, he’s in white, and they’re still Red all over.

7:23 pm September, 29 Orbea said...

Greetings from Perth Western Australia.
This guy is apparently a Billionaire in $AU, so roughly equivalent for $US.
Even in Oz that is $1,000,000,000+
A complete douche when talking with him too.

8:19 pm September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Smackdouche

Funny.

9:52 pm September, 29 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

At least he’s investing his money wisely… blast goggles for the next big melt down.
.
Thank you, Billy Joel.

10:58 pm September, 29 Stephanie said...

No matter what they say, if he takes off his glasses those Russians all look like down syndrome kids, sorry that’s just what I see each and every time.
All the money in the world won’t stop them from ugly pasty face inborn looking people.
I guess their parents didn’t have all of the right vitamins when they conceived these kids.
I wish we were still at war with them.

5:03 am September, 30 Wedgie said...

Fitty rubles.

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