Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Golden Bags

Ed Hardy shorts make the Baby Moses spittle.

# posted by douchebag1
9:38 am September, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

Sweet merciful crap. Where’s Napalm when you need it?

9:39 am September, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

Nice fuccen spirokete tattoo there, bud. That’s a 10,000 x magnification of the bugs you caught off of Candy Condyloma there next to you.

9:41 am September, 30 soy bomb said...

Hey, I love Pepperidge Farm® Goldfish® Crackers as much as the next guy, but I feel that tattooing images of the tasty snacks on your shoulder is a bit much.

9:42 am September, 30 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Where’s my penecillin, cause if she’s got something that’s contagious, I’m willing to go in and take a closer look.

9:49 am September, 30 Merle Baggard said...

Jesus died for her boobies.

9:53 am September, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Does her right tit wrap say ‘HOE’ in the fashion of the Yankees logo?

9:56 am September, 30 tall guy said...

@ Medusa: comments on an earlier post of yours re. your ‘sweet home Chicago’ have made me seriously reconsider the itinerary for my upcoming trip to the US. I envisioned a boat ride in Chicago as ,possibly, the best way to observe that city’s great architecture. Am I mistaken? Please help an Aussie bag hunter out.

9:58 am September, 30 massengill said...

She’s a sailor as evidenced by the sparrow and the star tattoo. I imagine a large amount of seaman have seen them…

10:01 am September, 30 Jaan Kanellis said...

Seriously 80% of your pics have to come from the Rehab pool days. Anyone that goes there must leave with their eyes bleeding.

10:06 am September, 30 Turdacious said...

i dont care what shes got, i want it..ill take my chances.
hes a Boner!

10:09 am September, 30 mr.reeve said...

All bleeth hottness and super taint hair-frost-wanna-be-surfer-‘bag. The only waves he has ever seen is at the Mandalay Bay wave pool.

10:12 am September, 30 Fatness said...

@tall guy, Medusa will be back soon to give you her answer, but the water and boats (and the ‘bags they contain) she refers to generally inhabit the area near Oak Street and North Avenue beaches. The architectural boat tours are quite nice, unless Dave Matthews is in town.

10:24 am September, 30 tall guy said...

Thank you, Fatness. That’s a really helpful link.

10:25 am September, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

It looks like they’re both trying to hold off sharting until the picture has been taken. I guess that batch of botulinum toxin-laden orange juice that I sold at a discount to numerous Vegas hotels is working.

10:29 am September, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

HDE – Humps Doily Elephants

10:31 am September, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

HDE – Haltering Dreadful Eggplants

10:31 am September, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I liked watching Staurday morning cartoons and stuff but I’d never get a tattoo of this.

10:32 am September, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Hater
Dealing
Eunuch

10:33 am September, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

HDE – His Dicks Embryonic

10:33 am September, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Tall Guy–yeah what Fatness said, HAHAHAHA!!!! Oh, that will never go away, no matter how hard Dave tries. Actually, no, Chicago is a breathtaking marvel of architecture and history. The works of Louis Sullivan alone are reason enough to come and see. The boat tour is absolutely a fantastic idea and I can’t recommend that enough for people who want to come here and see something that will really knock their socks off. Also don’t miss the Loop tour if you can get to it. The works of Daniel Burnham will make you weep salty fuccen tears that such beautiful, graceful forms could be coaxed from an unyielding, cold block of stone.
.
By any and all means, avoid the following: Oak St. and North avenue beach, as Fatness mentioned above. Avoid the entire area that is framed by Kinzie St. on the south, State Street on the east, Chicago Ave. on the north, and Orleans street on the west. This box is known as River North and is Ground Zero for Douche. All those clubs that we see Donkey Douche and Fish Slap at? That’s where they are. The streets are full of Hummers and Escalades and nasty skanks tottering around in ill-fitting heels yelling “WOOOO” and the monotonous “nn-tss nn-tss’nn-tsss” beats pour out of every door of every building, every window of every car.
.
The bad news is, River North is dangerously close to the Loop and, duh, the north branch of the river. Tread lightly, ‘Baghunter. In the meantime, there are outstanding eats to be had, finely crafted cocktails as the old-style lounges and diners are coming back with a vengeance. On South State you can get a real egg cream and then go a few blocks to get an actual Old Fashioned. I can make many suggestions. I would also strongly suggest you avoid Wicker Park as well. Some great shopping and cafes there, but the stink of Hipsterbag smug is overwhelming, and it’s all I can do to not ride through there, brandishing a leg of lamb with which to bludgeon their silly, vegan asses with.

10:33 am September, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Horny
Donky
Eater

10:33 am September, 30 tall guy said...

She looks similar to a local ex-Australian rules football full-forward from the 80s named Warwick Capper. Dude’s always been a total bag. He rents himself out these days so B-grade celebrities can ‘bring your (sic) event to life’ (quote from his website). Fucking clown!

10:34 am September, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Try “Donkey” Quick Draw Mcgrunt

10:34 am September, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Her
Diaper
Exploded

10:35 am September, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Herpes
Dispencary
Anus

10:35 am September, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Tall Guy–it’s a bit farther north, and I don’t know if you’re into this sort of thing. But if you are, Graceland Cemetery is an absolute must.

10:36 am September, 30 tall guy said...

Thank you, Medusa. Heaps of really good suggestions. Excellent!

10:38 am September, 30 Douchey Smurf said...

Isn’t that Mickey Rourke’s young cousin Ryan?

But seriously…. that bitch is stacked.

10:39 am September, 30 douche bagel said...

i have a sudden urge to drink some oj and then shart

10:39 am September, 30 smackdouche said...

Ummmmm, I love Swedish Fish.

10:39 am September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Buh-leeth. She’s as greasy as he is. It’s a Crisco party. Now if anybody has some chopped onions let’s drop these two in a hot skillet
.
I can’t tell if that’s a beautiful woman, an old lady or two candles in his tattoos. Can’t say I care either, unless the next photo has him writhing in pain on the ground from a nuclear strength cocckk punch by Ray Lewis

10:39 am September, 30 Wheezer said...

Mr. White’s brew is looking a bit cloudy.

10:42 am September, 30 Wheezer said...

Gee, when your bolt-on has a tan line…..

10:43 am September, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

Be warned, however, Tall Guy, the winters are miserable, but if you’re doing the boat tour, I assumed you’d be coming in better times. If you like, I will be glad to see that a fellow ‘hunter gets a proper Chicago steak (we are LEGENDARY) for meat if I can wrangle myself free from work for an evening. I don’t know any slutty chicks I can hook you up with for the week, but I’m sure if i ask around….

10:44 am September, 30 tall guy said...

Perhaps she’s that rare-arse (although increasingly becoming more common) Stage-4 bleeth. If not she’s close.

10:45 am September, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

I think he has one of those Magic Eye tattoos. If you stare at it long enough, a 3-D image of a dolphin cocck appears.

10:48 am September, 30 douche bagel said...

hoards
dildos
excessively

10:52 am September, 30 tall guy said...

Thanks again, Medusa. I endured English winters over 2 and a half years. But I’m still not fond of the cold. And while I’d like to see the US during its summer, it’s a strong probability that I’ll be visiting pre or post winter. More, as is said, will be revealed. I love a good steak, or, on occasions, any bit of meat… (semi-joke).

10:52 am September, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Holding
Diarrhetic
Elixur

11:00 am September, 30 douche bagel said...

He
Deepthroats
Excitedly

11:01 am September, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Humping
Delicious
Emus

11:02 am September, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Highly
Dirty
Esophagus

11:04 am September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Harrowing
Dickk
Explosion

11:05 am September, 30 doucheywallnuts said...

Did she just fill that massive specimen cup or is she going to drink it?

11:07 am September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Humps
Diarrhetic
Emus

11:07 am September, 30 douche bagel said...

He
Drives
Elantra

11:07 am September, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I think Medusa’s right about the Magic Eye thing. If you stare at her tits long enough the rest of her gets blurry and an errection appears in your pants.

11:08 am September, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Heavy
Dump
Errupting

11:08 am September, 30 Turdacious said...

@Tall guy
cruising around on top open air bus.”not in winter” was cool for me, If they still have thoese there

11:10 am September, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Her
Diaphram’s
Eroded

11:13 am September, 30 douche bagel said...

Has
Dumb
Etchings

11:16 am September, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

He
Diddles
Emo Hulk

11:16 am September, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

After several months of tender care, the bamboo plant that Kristy had nurtured in her ass finally burst forth in its full, stiff, and turgid glory.

11:21 am September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Herpes
Delightedly
Enlisted

11:23 am September, 30 Mr. White said...

@wheezer
I add extra phosphate to my diet for my Octoberfest brew, giving it a striking cloudy-yet-amber color.

11:28 am September, 30 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

never have I seen two people more perfect for each other. a match made in heaven.

11:36 am September, 30 douche bagel said...

He
Drips
Excrement

11:40 am September, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Magnum Douche P.I.^
.
Actually it was a match made at the Mela-glow-ma tanning salon on Hawthorne next to the check cashing shop and the really shitty pizza place.
.
They also bleach hair.

11:41 am September, 30 Deltus said...

If you look at her left boob closely (and really, why WOULDN’T you?), you can see where the implant begins. Not a good look. Shame, because I’d still jerk off on her tummy, given half the chance and a bottle of sumpin’-sumpin’.

11:42 am September, 30 system of douche said...

On their way to the Lincoln Towncar’s trunk, an annoyed Tony waits for the peroxide couples’ last photo op.

11:42 am September, 30 Deltus said...

Herpes Dump Everywhere

11:58 am September, 30 Wedgie said...

Not even a glass that big will drink him pretty.
Hidden
Docking
Entry

12:19 pm September, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Her
Delightful
Empanadas

12:31 pm September, 30 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Screw napalm. I say we lift off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

1:10 pm September, 30 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Giant cups of Vitamin C

1:10 pm September, 30 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

Make that THREE giant cups of Vitamin C!!!

1:13 pm September, 30 Captain Scrote Sparrow said...

No one mentioned the yellow Bicycle Helmet with a tail! (she could use my face a bicycle seat….)

3:30 pm September, 30 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

On CHICAGO…don’t forget the chicago Italian beef sandwiches, they are legendary. OMIGOD, yummy.

3:32 pm September, 30 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Back to the Golden Bags….
or gold bugs…
Her right tit (our left side view in photo) reads
H D E…High Density Estrogen.

3:33 pm September, 30 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

These two really deserve each other…as much as do Heidi and Spencer, back together again…LOL

3:38 pm September, 30 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

There’s Guns ‘n Roses, Axl style. Derived from axolotls.

Then there’s Tigers ‘n Pansies, Ed Hardy style.

9:48 pm September, 30 Steve L. said...

the only thing that is golden in this pic is the bleeth’s curves.
there. i said it.

10:15 pm September, 30 Stephanie said...

A suspicious tiki party where all you could wear is Ed Hardy,and drink the kool-aid,and have dyed blond hair.

Guy watching in the back kills tattoo bonobo in front and then takes off.

10:32 pm September, 30 Anonymous said...

she has arm pit hair

1:01 am October, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Twat did you say? I cunt hear you! Tits alright, bare-ass me again. I have an ear infucktion. I have visit the dicktor for some penisillin. Eh, we’ll finger it out later.

6:58 am October, 1 Dex said...

I think they’re twins. One of them got a sex change operation somewhere along the way. It’s hard to figure out which one made the switch though. They both look pretty iffy.

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