Sunday, September 5, 2010

The Grieco Sings

Richard Grieco, early 1990s nexus point for the entirety of the modern HCwDB plague (aka “The Grieco Virus”), demonstrates the douchiest acoustic guitar performance in history (with bonus weepy 90s pseudo-emotion).

And in welcome news, internet douchepustule Nik Richie of The Dirty was recently arrested for being a scrotelick.

# posted by douchebag1
8:36 am September, 5 mr.reeve said...

Wow. That’s some song there Richard. I am surprised the chick didn’t grab the guitar and smash it over his head. I am also surprised your career went in the shitter. Such great acting.

9:08 am September, 5 Mr. White said...

Dude, if she’s already wandering around with no pants on, you don’t need to go all Toad the Wet Sprocket on her. For reals.

9:11 am September, 5 Doop said...

Well! That was very moving.

And now that I’ve got off the crapper, I suppose I should look at the video now.

9:18 am September, 5 Thus Spake Zaradouchestra said...

“I’m so sorry.”

Truer words could not have been spoken.

9:19 am September, 5 Wedgie said...

She is an excellent actress, to not bust out laughing at that weepy fuccer.
Then again, it may have been take #15.

9:33 am September, 5 DarkSock said...

My audio’s not working for this video.
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Yesssssss.

9:53 am September, 5 Wheezer said...

“Your Sunday Video Twitchery,” featuring the Big Scrothuna itself, the Greaseco.
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I somehow survived :12 in my first attempt, but only because my now palsied fingers couldn’t click the pause button sooner. Then I saw Mr. White’s comment re: the pantsless hott and ‘Sock’s hint about keeping the volume off, and…..heyyyyy!
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She was not enough to mitigate the wretching the ensued. I will not watch it again.

10:09 am September, 5 Anonymous said...

“Sir, as you can see the Grieco Virus meter is going off the charts, should we send in the Marines NOW?”

10:10 am September, 5 soy bomb said...

Sigh. Didn’t Greico’s mom know that abortion was legal?
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Too soon?
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Too late…
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…term abortion?
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abortion jokes make me smile. Especially on three day weekends. About to go put some booze in my face.

10:15 am September, 5 douches wild said...

I pray that this nimrod is reincarnated as Kenny G’s toilet seat.

10:16 am September, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This fag is as washed up as a Bangladeshi fishing village in monsoon season.

10:36 am September, 5 wonderdouche twin said...

How Ironic, Richard Grieco……….
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DICK GRIECO…………….
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coincidence? I think not!

10:43 am September, 5 Mr. White said...

@soy bomb
Amen. I have a weakness for pumpkin ales, which seem to be popping up early this year. I’m going to have a few. Or 70.

11:17 am September, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

Makes you kind of wish for a frolic video, I never realized what a tool this guy was/is.

11:18 am September, 5 skrag2112 said...

I was wishing a toga clad John Belushi would walk in and smash his guitar against the wall. But he wouldn’t say “Sorry.” afterwards.

12:10 pm September, 5 wonderdouche twin said...

Well at least he apologized for actually playing and singing that crap, she stopped him because it was so bad and the fake tears made her do it.

1:05 pm September, 5 fatness said...

I love time codes on videos…he starts crying 22 minutes after she stands at the door. Sort of takes the edge off…eh? And as an aside, thank you for the ‘mute’ warning above.
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So which is more appropriate for a late summer holiday weekend? Vodka or tequila?
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Fuck it. I’ll do both.
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Enjoy!

1:24 pm September, 5 Medusa Oblongata said...

Cage match between Grieco and Nik Ritchie. It’s the only way.

1:35 pm September, 5 Wheezer said...

@Medusa –
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That’s a nice thought initially, but they’d enjoy the grappling a bit too much, methinks. And that can’t be unseen, even as a suggestion.

2:45 pm September, 5 Jaan Kanellis said...

You just ruined my weekend…..

3:41 pm September, 5 DarkSock said...

Griece here exhibits something that was rampant in that era of shoegazing, where rock stopped singing about tits and partying and instead started moaning about how Daddy didn’t understand them. I labelled this syndrome as S.H.I.T.A.S.S. –
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Simpleton
Horndogs
Imitating
Thoughtfulness
About
Some
Shit

3:42 pm September, 5 DarkSock said...

Say it with me…..Shit-Ass……

3:44 pm September, 5 Steve L. said...

douchey songs in the 1990s were less than 2 minutes long.
what a relief.
also, black socks totally ruin the hotness of hotties.

4:07 pm September, 5 Steve L. said...

but black pantyhoses would be totally sexy.

5:27 pm September, 5 DarkSock said...

…black socks totally ruin the hotness of hotties.
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Hey, watch it, buddy…

5:29 pm September, 5 Torque MuleBrow said...

actually the smoking gun said Nik was arrested for being a rotary cockk sump. Same difference I guess.

5:30 pm September, 5 Hamish WomanPlant said...

Hmmm. I was under the impression it was for being an undulating fuck smelter.

5:31 pm September, 5 everything but the gonad said...

I’m pretty sure he was detained for being a knob gobbling cob wobbler. Check wiki.

5:32 pm September, 5 MANNHEIM PEENROLLER said...

NOPE IT WAS FOR BEING A LUGUBRIOUS LOG LAPPER.

5:56 pm September, 5 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

It’s SO nice to return to the original Mother Lode of Douchery, Grieco himself. I did hear him say he was “Sorry…so sorry” so perhaps he is apologizing for the havoc he hath reeked. Er, uh, ah, wreaked. Both words, actually.

8:08 pm September, 5 Steve L. said...

@ DarkSock 5:27 PM,
well if it was dark red or dark blue socks it would’ve been sexy. but black somehow didn’t work out all that well when i saw it…

8:25 pm September, 5 Spell Nazi said...

@ Whoopi-Di-Douche:
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“Wrought”, actually.
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fuck giblet.

8:28 pm September, 5 DarkSock said...

you’d have cried too. Back then telling your woman you’re both HIV positive because you hustled your anus for cash at the docks was a big deal.

9:09 pm September, 5 Teddy Tendergass said...

There is absolutely no fuccen way anyone tops the name Amish WomanPlant.
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9:09 pm September, 5 Teddy Tendergass said...

There is absolutely no fuccen way anyone tops the name Amish WomanPlant.
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None.

9:10 pm September, 5 Teddy Tendergass said...

Fuck you Massegill! I didn’t mean the double post.
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Okay maybe a little.

12:03 am September, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Sorry I’ve been away for so long. Things as home have been… distracting as of late.
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To tell the truth, my girlfriend Diana got pregnant a few weeks back (talk about a life changing experience). Now, I’ve never wanted kids myself – there are way too many people having babies on this planet as it is – but my sweet girl has always expressed her desire to have kids someday. To say the least, she was quite enthralled when that test came back positive. I on the other hand, had a minor nervous breakdown.
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But I had to be a man about this. My birth father freaked out and left what he found out Mom was pregnant with me, and even though he’s made some reasonably honorable attempts to involve himself in my life, I’ve never been able to respect him for his cowardice. There’s no WAY I’ve deprive my child of the father they deserve. I told Diana that no matter what happened, I would support her and the life of the unborn child I was responsible for. I loved her unconditionally, and would honor her.
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The first couple weeks was filled with doctor visits, doting family, and countless baby shower plans set into motion. I was in my own personal hell, to be succinctly followed by 18+ years of slavery to a screaming, drooling, ungrateful drain on my very soul. I’m sorry if that’s how I feel about it, but that’s the truth. Still, I must do good by my promises. So I’m in this for the long haul, and willing to dedicate myself accordingly. And Diana was so happy and having so much fun with the reality of being pregnant.
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Well, last week, Denise’s health took a turn for the worse. Her morning sickness became acute, along with fever, migraines, and bouts of extreme depression. She was vomiting up even a few sips of water, and becoming dehydrated, pale, and gaunt looking. I was on the verge of taking her to the hospital emergency room. Then, just a few days ago, she miscarried.
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Poor girl was devastated. She ran to me in hysterics after it happened, unable to control her grief and pain. I had to comfort her as best I could through the whole ordeal, the same way I supported her through the pregnancy. I let her know that I would be there for her no matter what.
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I did my best to cheer her up by telling her that there was a bright side to this traumatic turn of events. She always wanted to get pregnant, and I didn’t want a baby, so we really both got something we wanted. She got to get pregnant, and I didn’t have to have a baby.
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Plus, I didn’t flush the toilet after she miscarried, so the dog got something he wanted too; a little doggie Shirley Temple cocktail.
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You know, with the maraschino cherry garnish?

12:04 am September, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

*sigh*
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It’s good to be back.

12:10 am September, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Yeah, been watching too much Lucio Fulci.

12:46 am September, 6 keyboard kommand troll faggot groupies said...

Never heard of em.

7:28 am September, 6 Rum, Sodomy and The Douche said...

Teddy Tendergass:
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My theory is that Amish WomanPlant is actually one of the regs posting under an exceedingly silly name.
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ehhhh, who knows….

7:31 am September, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Jacques D.

You had me at…”little doggie Shirley Temple cocktail.” Sicko.

7:34 am September, 6 massengill said...

@ 2T – Double posts are now referred to as “bonus posts.” Let’s try to put a positive spin on things in light of this horrendously bad song.
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I made it 27 seconds then stopped. Then I read about a pants-less woman and skipped around until I saw her, standing in the doorway, wearing a men’s dress shirt. I don’t think that shirt belonged in Greico’s wardrobe. I don’t know what that implication means to the song or the video, but I fear that if I try to find out, I will end up dry-heaving.
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We should write YouTube and ask them to remove this objectionable content.

8:07 am September, 6 Plot Nazi said...

Why did you girlfriend Diana change her name to Denise halfway through her pregnancy?

9:48 am September, 6 fatness said...

Pay attention PN….Denise miscarried. Diana is still preggo.

10:47 am September, 6 Dicy said...

Bahahahaaa! Nice.

11:15 am September, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Denise, Diana. I always get those two mixed up. Such are the hazards of leading secret alternate lives.

12:27 pm September, 6 Deltus said...

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! WOOO!!! Loved it! Funniest goddamned thing I’ve seen in a while.
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It was supposed to be funny, right?
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Right?

12:41 pm September, 6 Mr. Biggs said...

Ok. I could last a little under :40 into that. And that’s after taking a breather at :23. I did not think man could he this douchey.

3:26 pm September, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

She had the chance to gouge his fuccen eye out and she pussied out. Stoopid bitch! I woulda paid good money (at least $0.25) to see that.

7:42 pm September, 6 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Grieco workin the two cords on the guitar. Wow, put some real effort in to that. That’s why he’s douchenumerouno

And if any of you can once again explain how to upload (?) a picture like the rest of you have on this thing, it would be much appreciated.

1:39 am September, 8 Alexis Jackson said...

I noticed you guys have been talking about high heels and I wanted to share something with you that you might be interested in…

A little over 2 years ago, my husband and I were married in Los Angeles, California. Unfortunately, the day of our wedding was spoiled with rain. We have been having the wedding out on the grass and believe it or not, I was wearing high heeled shoes! They had been ruined by the end of the day 🙁

Although this was one on the worst experiences I’ve ever had with my shoes, it in fact led my sister in law to create a merchandise which is just awesome! It is already been featured on TV shows like the Girls of the Playboy Mansion, and also the show Kendra.

Heels Above will help you protect your high-priced heels from sinking in mud, slipping in cracks, and walking on sand and gravel. It is a new item, and I thought I’d share it with all of you.

They are taking orders now. It is possible to order one pair, or a few dozen for your big wedding day.

I hope you guys like it… If you’ve any questions, feel free to drop them an email on their internet site:
Heels Above

Here’s a photo of it in action:
http://www.heelsabove.com/images/carousal_big/7.jpg

Lex

8:54 am September, 8 Wildly Off-Topic Guy said...

^ beat it bitch I’m workin’ this side of the street

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